Ληθη (lethe) wrote in mythopoeics, @ 2012-09-04 19:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | lethe, merlin, mnemosyne, thanatos |
[Barefoot and shivering, she hadn't dared wander farther than the mailbox early that morning. With the surroundings that she could only halfway remember once knowing, too noisy and not at all comforting like what she had come to think of as home, the inn, Lethe quickly locked herself back inside for the rest of the day and perhaps the rest of the week. Something about the outside world felt unspeakably dangerous.
The only way she could recall her name, or at least the one she'd been using for the last half year, was to stare at the rain-damp envelopes grasped in her hands. Maybe it was only ten minutes or the hour it felt like that Lethe sat with her back pressed against the door. Whispering it with hollow recognition, the printed pseudonym on the backdated bills that she somehow allowed herself to neglect while in Zurvan, Lethe crumpled the mail into the trash with a surge of self-disgust. Why hadn't she been paying them? Why was her bank account completely empty? Did she still even live here?
Why did she have to come back?
How nice it had been to forget herself, to let go of her fears and allow herself to live without the constant awareness that she shouldn't be... to have a family that she cared for, and to feel safe even with Hel's constant taunting of ghosts and the dead-end fling with an Admiral.
Now she was alone again, increasingly confused and unable to keep straight the multiple contradicting realities that twisted in her mind. Rome, New York, Zurvan, and what was supposed to be eternity all blended together in her mind, taunting her with echoes of memories, some that never even existed.
She wouldn't be paying next month's bills either, Lethe decided as she turned all the faucets in her apartment to full blast and crouched by the floor of the bathtub with her laptop. The sound of running water drowned out her thoughts, her overthinking.]
I need a newname
job
place
life.
Or an old one.
Is there a way to get back home? Has anyone tried?
[Filter: Thanatos]
I don't want to bother you. Sir.
You're here, right? Please. Please say that you're here.
[Filter: Mnemosyne]
Take them, I don't want them.
I feel I might- If I did, would you-
Tell me something real.