what i'd give, what i'd dare [closed/complete] Characters: Hades (ofshadows) and Sigyn (sigyny) Date/Time: Zurvan, pre-game start Location: Emperor's palace Rating: Low Warnings: N/A Summary: Hades calls Sigyn out on her erratic behavior.
Things had changed, Sigyn knew that and she feared other people could see that as well. Her father didn't seem to notice and neither did Hippolytus, but still, the anxiety of thinking 'what if' grew with each passing day. The more she wanted, the more she was afraid. It would have perhaps been easier if he did not return her feelings, but he did. Every gesture between them had been discrete and proper; yet charged and heavy.
Even now as she stood in the gardens, she knew Heimdall was not far from her- not stalking exactly but nearby. Just a little longer when it was empty and they would have a few moments together, they could brush their hands together, their lips - before having to run in opposite directions to do their duties.
Sigyn tried to ignore the ache deep inside tied to those thoughts. So consumed was she by them, that she wouldn't have noticed anyone but Heimdall approaching. Right now, nothing seemed as important.
It was not likely Sigyn would have noticed Hades anyway. The admiral moved with a fluidity that seemed to defy the constraints of human capability and with a silence that made a mockery of the sense of hearing. No, to know that Hades was approaching without turning to look was a miracle in and of itself.
Yet, on his way to the emperor, Hades saw Sigyn clearly. Always one to catalog even the slightest deviations from the norm, he easily distinguished the sharp turn Sigyn's behavior had been taking. As she was before him, she was far removed from the giggling girl he'd grown up around. The princess, for all her status, had never been prone to deep contemplation. That had been Hades's forte, and to see her delving so deeply into his area of expertise was almost hilarious.
Of course, always one to catalog even the slightest deviations from the norm, Hades easily picked apart the coincidences. The arrival of the Camelotian dignitary, the subtle glances he and the princess had exchanged, the ensuing aberrations in Sigyn's usually predictability -- none of these escaped the eyes of the admiral. Had he known how far the two would act, he might have prevented it sooner. As the case was, Hades put far too much stock on Camelotian integrity and on Sigyn's ostensible sense of duty. He would later find that both parameters were incredibly lacking, yet that was neither here nor there.
"Sigyn," he said, his voice, par usual, like a blade to the back of the throat: steely and muted. "You're blocking the way."
And with that her musings were broken and she gave a squeak turning to face Hades. The guilt bubbled up and she tried to contain it, hide it, hold it back and pretend this was nothing but a casual stroll. "Hades, sorry- I was just... uh, enjoying the weather. Yes!" She nodded vigorously, more like her usual self than the woman who a moment ago had been miserably cursing her fate. Until knowing Heimdall her destiny hadn't mattered, marrying Hippolytus or not- it was unimportant, she was happy to marry him. Now, the thought of it made her miserable, and the thought of remaining unwed did so as well.
"Are you going to see my father? There's a few things, I guess, that Hei- the Camelot visitor has brought up. Trade and what not, it was all... kind of boring but important, I don't know. What do you think?" She swallowed, and forced herself to look up at him, ignoring the swirl of thoughts that inevitably led her back to her predicament.
Heimdall.
It wasn't just a change in mannerism, Sigyn was changing her priorities too. Once content to be where she was, now she was no longer so. And she wanted. Stolen glances, and touching palms was not enough. Had it been someone else, anyone else, Sigyn would have never allowed her sense of duty to waver. Just for Heimdall. The pull he had on her made her excited and ashamed. From extreme to extreme Sigyn jumped never knowing where it was okay to settle on.
Sigyn did, in some measure, matter to Hades. It was no easy feat to have some weight with the man, and even then, only very few who got even half their weight in value. (Perhaps his siblings alone, now that he thought of it, and his twin more than the others.) With most people, he would not have even bothered to call them out on their idiocy. But this was Sigyn, whom he had known his whole life, so she at least deserved some passing mention.
"What are you getting into." Or perhaps a deadpan.
Good question, Sigyn wasn't sure yet, but it probably wasn't going to end well for anyone involved. Her brain made that very clear, but her heart refused to let her know. She lied to herself as much as she could, not wanting to think about it. For her part, Sigyn thought of Hades as family, he had always been around, dependable and...maybe a bit odd in his way, but still. Even if the sentiment was not returned, she had never minded. His words caused her to pale, then flush.
Of course she did not better than to lie to Hades. She might've denied anything to her father, Morpheus and anyone else, but Hades had that sturdy intensity that made it impossible. "He's nice, knows a lot of things... from outside here."
"And that's the crux."
He moved forward to the door without brushing her off -- more than could be said for most people. Hades was not inherently a malicious character. Never did he speak with the intent to hurt, not unless the situation truly merited. He simply spoke what was on his mind, based on how he perceived the world around him. Yet his perception varied greatly from that of the normal person, chock full of harsh judgments and clean delineations. There were no embellishments, none of the supposedly heartfelt add-ons that most human beings used to make their lives seem worthwhile.
"It is simple, Sigyn." He looked down at her from the corner of his eyes, more because of his height than out of the desire to intimidate. "There is the outside, and there is here. The former is impossible."
Sigyn's eyes followed Hades' movement, no matter his mannerisms she never took his harshness to heart - those who crossed him off as anything of the sort just didn't know him. She respected him and knew that he was someone to be feared - when the situation called for it. His words weighed heavily on her.
The princess clasped her hands in front of her, trying to keep from playing with the sleeves or tugging on her hair which would give away how deep his words hit. Not because they were meant maliciously, but because they were true. Sigyn knew they were, and it hurt; eventually Heimdall would leave back to Camelot and she'd never see him again. Somehow, that thought was unbearable. When she spoke, it was soft, but loud enough for the other to catch. "I know."
And in such a simple statement the sorrow in her tone was palpable; raw like someone had clawed the words into her skin. "I know." This time whispered to herself, looking down at the other end where she knew Heimdall was waiting. If she was smart? She'd turned and leave the foreigner alone. That was what Sigyn did.
She turned and left back to her room, but even that small resolved Hades had put in her would crumble as soon as Heimdall clasped her hand and pulled her into a secluded corner to stare down at her and ask why she had not shown up.