When Petra had felt like the world had turned its back on her, it had crushed her spirit, coupled with the life she'd had prior to coming to the school it was something that hung over her head even now. Something that haunted her and hurt her still as much as she was trying to get better, there was a sting attached to knowing that she would never be good enough because she was still damaged goods despite her attempts to move on. It just didn't work like that, and she knew it. She might try and move past it, but- she wondered if people could see it.
"I'm trying," she reassured, "Not to let it win. If I could just quit the year, I mean, that'd be perfect. I'm so over this, you know? So over being- being hurt and being upset and feeling broken and dirty because of things that happened to me when I was younger. Things I couldn't control but- somehow they still control me now." She looked down into her cup and realised she'd sort of just- said a fair bit. Her cheeks flushed hot with embarrassment and no small amount of shame, even though she hadn't said anything explicit, it was still more than she'd wanted to. She added a quick apology onto the end of that, like she felt she had to be apologetic for sharing.
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "Janus? All I know is that January's named after him. Two faces or something?" She didn't know much, she'd never met Ms Aquilla, and so shook her head in answer to his questions, "Don't know anything about it really."