Log: Walter and Jean-Paul. Summary: About 10 days ago and started around here! JP needs to buy a couch, Walter assists him. In this log, Walter asks question about the gay community (sorta).
JEAN-PAUL: He was frustrated. All he wanted was a stupid couch for his new, larger room so he and his few guests would have a place to sit while they watched television. Was that so much to ask? Why was finding a place to sit your ass so hard to find? Yes, Jean-Paul had found many couches, but they were all a couple thousand dollars and there was no way in hell he was paying that much money for some wood, fabric and stuffing.
On this day, he had wrangled Walter into going couch shopping with him. Walter was a guy, which meant he wasn't going to poke around every store they went into and comment on how cute things were. Thank God. "I do not understand why these things cost so much money." Maybe the third store they try will work.
WALTER: "We should go to a thrift store." Walter didn't think about how many people sat on the couch before him, what sort of things they spilled or sloshed onto the couch.
"I think it's because they're so big." And to demonstrate, Walter held his arms out to be the length of a nearby love seat.
JEAN-PAUL: "They are big, but it is just a place to sit your ass," he answered with a nod. Really now. All right, there were a few other activities that could happen on a couch, but Jean-Paul honestly wanted one for its sitting purposes.
Hmmm. "How clean do you think the thrift store ones are?"
WALTER: "Uhh, probably not very clean at all, Boss. You could rent one of those carpet cleaner things..." Walter's seen them at supermarkets and he's taken them apart before! Does that count?
JEAN-PAUL: He crinkled his nose and made a small 'eww' face. "How bad do you think spraying it with bleach would be?" he asked in all seriousness. Jean-Paul would do that after he cleaned, Lysoled and Febrezed it.
WALTER: "You know it would be clean after that. But then you might as well set it on fire at that point." Which would be pretty awesome, they should do that.
JEAN-PAUL: He turned around, a confused look on his face. "Why would I set it on fire?" Wasn't there someone at the hotel who could do that?
WALTER: Walter shrugged, "To get it really clean." Nothing is cleaner than... nothing. "Maybe you should get multiple hammocks."
JEAN-PAUL: He had to laugh at that suggestion. "I am sure Warren would love me drilling holes into the ceiling." Hmmm. That would be kinda cool though...
WALTER: "It can be fixed with a little bit of spackle and paint if you chose to leave." Aw, Walter frowns at that thought.
JEAN-PAUL: He snorted. "Where the hell would I go if I left?" Really now. "No other place will give me free rent." Or free some other things, but that was neither here nor there.
WALTER: Walter shrugged, "Iunno. Things change. People go places. How about this one?" He then pointed at a orange leather couch with zebra stripes. What in the fresh hell is that?
JEAN-PAUL: That was supposed to be a happy comment, Walter. :/ But let's look at the couch instead! "I think it goes against my gay principles to have that one." You know. Because he has a fashion gene or something.
WALTER: Walter fails at being sentimental. "Tell me if this is offensive, but uh, why do gay guys dress better than straight ones? Is it like... in nature, how tree frogs are brightly coloured to tell other animals they're poison?" He was saving that one up for such a long time.
JEAN-PAUL: After the question, he looked down at his own clothes and examined them. Nicely ironed American Eagle polo shirt? Check. Six dollar jeans? Check. Nice leather shoes? Check. Well dammit. "I worked at American Eagle." That was his excuse. "But I guess because guys aren't known for noticing personality first."
WALTER: Walter's own clothes were well-worn and purchased at your local Goodwill. But it was also a polo shirt and jeans. He gnaws his lip, "I... nevermind. That was rude." TV gays are so different than real ones!
JEAN-PAUL: He was a bit fussy about his appearance and probably had fancy shampoos in his shower. "No. What is it?" Jean-Paul was sorry to disappoint you, Walter?
WALTER: "I was trying to be open and ask questions, but they just sound stupid. I'm sorry. But really, I'm cool with it. It doesn't bother me." You can be gay all the live long day! Whatever!
JEAN-PAUL: He sat down on the ugly couch. Come, Walter. Sit down with him. "You can ask questions if you want." Oh God. Maybe Walter wasn't really cool with it like he said. Cue the slight worry from Jean-Paul!
WALTER: Walter saunters over and sits on the ugly couch. Man, someone should get a picture of this. It's like when you see a guy dressed as a giant taco, it must be documented. "Come to think of it, I don't have any questions." Gay men like other men. That's all, right? "Except, what do you think of Will and Grace?"
JEAN-PAUL: They look very awkward and out of place on the couch, but yet right at home at the same time. Perhaps that is because Jean-Paul was reclined like he owned the thing. "The guy who played Will was cute." Too bad he has no career now. "Jack and Karen are amusing sometimes." Pause. "Jack is a bit..." Since he couldn't think of the correct English word, he just flailed his hands for a moment.
WALTER: Walter chuckles, it's stifled, like he doesn't want to. "Okay. If I think of others, I'll ask you." Oh wait. "Boobs? No?" Not even a little bit?
JEAN-PAUL: You could laugh, Walter! Jean-Paul liked it when you laughed. Er. "They are..." Making a face, he tried to think about the right word for the subject of boobs. "Squishy? Not very fun."
WALTER: Since he's dating Jean-Paul's sister, he decided to not agree nor disagree. Just a nod. Yes, play it cool. "Ah. Not even Lucy Liu?" Everyone wants to hit that!
JEAN-PAUL: FYI, Walter. He already assumed you and his sister were doing it like rabbits, so it was all right to agree even though it made him a bit :(. "No. Sorry." Not really, but shh.
WALTER: Walter attempts again. "What about that guy from the vampire movie, do you think he's cute?"
JEAN-PAUL: He wrinkled his nose and his cheeks may have started to turn a bit red. "He is all right when not a vampire." OH HO. Aurora made him see that movie.
WALTER: "Huh." Verrry interesting. "Brad Pitt?" That's an easy one!
JEAN-PAUL: "For an older man, yes." Jean-Paul may have had a slight thing for older men, but he wasn't saying anything here.
WALTER: Not surprisingly, Walter can't think of any other attractive men. This game isn't fun anymore. "Okay. Thanks for answering me." Conversations are abrupt and simple with Walter, aren't they?
JEAN-PAUL: Yes, they sometimes were with him. "All right. No problem." Well that was something.
WALTER: "You should get this couch." Walter pets it like it's a homeless dog.
JEAN-PAUL: If this couch was a homeless dog, it was one of the ugly ones that no one wanted and eventually a shelter worker would take him home as to avoid any sad endings for said dog. "Not at that price," he scowled as he stood up and stretched his arms over his head. "Plus it would ruin my gay reputation with its ugly." Gay reputation? WTF there Jean-Paul?
WALTER: "I could spill a soda on it, get us a discount!" Oh, it's US now, is it?
JEAN-PAUL: Oh Walter. "I think they would just make us buy it then." He didn't want this couch. "Maybe we can see the Salvation Army." They were poor and needed charity!
WALTER: Walter nearly mentions the fact that JM would probably like that. Yeah, not completely appropriate maybe? "Just to look, right?" No shame in buying second-hand, Jean-Paul!
JEAN-PAUL: He would agree that the more conservative half of his sister would like that! "Maybe I can find a table too." Jean-Paul will buy second hand if it means he can save more money.