jean grey (phoenix). (ex_rises922) wrote in mutanthaven, @ 2010-02-09 23:17:00 |
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Printed in Jean's delicate and neat handwriting, there were two columns in her notebook. It rested on her knee as she sat in the hallway outside from some administrative offices on campus. She had some time before her lab section and she liked this building and its seats. With her free time, she decided to map out the good and the bad of her relationship with Logan with one objective in mind: to figure out if the recent troubles over the last few months were indicative of whether her relationship with Logan could have a future or not.
Complicated? Not as complicated as some of the items that were on her list. She was having trouble deciding what should stay in what column and coming up with excuses for everything that fell under cons.
He wasn't around for New Year's Eve, nor did he text her or bring it up. She immediately added that under 'Con', before she added the parenthetical but I really didn't tell him that was bothering me?
What about Valentine's? She scribbled in the margin.
Territorial. She originally wrote as a con, but it could also fit under pro if it happened under certain circumstances (because sometimes its hot).
Sex was a definite pro. Cigars, a definite con.
She wasn't sure where to stick fighting; besides its implicit negativity, it felt good to unleash her anger towards him and have him fight back. So under pros and cons, she put indestructible and stubborn respectively.
Interrupted Jason was all she wrote about that situation in Utah. That was in the pro column.
He threw my handheld off the hotel, she started to write under cons, her pencil slowing as she remembered what happened in that situation. News about the Church of Enlightenment had gotten Jean down and Logan suggested a trip to the roof. She thought she had stashed her handheld behind so he wouldn't go through with tossing it from the hotel, but he managed to sneak it up there. Before she knew it, that thing was sailing over the ledge and he grabbed her for a kiss. He pointed out that if she really wanted to stop it from shattering against the concrete below, she could've stopped it -- but she hadn't. Instead, she felt exhilarated and carefree. She had a lot of fun that afternoon.
She turned that mechanical pencil around and erased it. This time under pro, she scrawled he threw my handheld off the hotel while she smiled faintly. As soon as she was finished writing it, she read back over her list before leaning forward. What the hell is wrong with her that something like he threw my handheld off the hotel would end up under the pro list? She sat back up and flipped the page, starting fresh.
This time, she was writing a list of traits desirable in her ideal partner. First thing was first: tall, dark and handsome -- but an image flashed into her mind that made her stop.
Okay, just because the total creeper who kept you mentally captive and had sex with you without your consent also happened to fit your physical ideal does not mean anything, Jean Grey, she thought, tapping her pencil against the paper. She sat on that idea for a moment, eventually coming to the conclusion that it couldn't (or wouldn't) count, because Jason didn't actually look like that. It was part of the manipulation, right? So he was using what she wanted against her or something. The real Jason didn't look like that.
Once she was able to get past tall, dark, and handsome, she moved onto activities she'd like to do with her ideal mate. Movies, dinner, footsie when no one was looking, other things that she didn't actually write down but that made her smile at nothing particular as she sat in the hallway outside the registrar's office. After all, it was much more pleasant thinking of romantic things than trying to come up with a list of cons to convince you that you definitely have had enough with your sorta-boyfriend.