lila cheney. (rockingstar) wrote in mutanthaven, @ 2009-11-29 06:57:00 |
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The realization did not come to Lila Cheney until she was at the grocery store in the snack aisle, comparing crisps. She had run dangerously low on snacks and while she was certain she did not want to eat until Christmas, she kept strange hours and didn't like cooking for herself. Her basket was full of many packaged things to satisfy her hunger those nights when she couldn't go out and buy take-out. She has been idly thinking that, now that she had resolved whatever issues there were between her and Forge, she could now start working on her relationship with Gaia or maybe even apologize for bruising poor Brian's ego.
However, her mind didn't wander too far from Forge. Truth was, she was still pleased with herself that her scrap metal went over so well and that he'd finally be able to get underway on his prosthetic. It was rare that Lila got to do something for someone that did not have an ulterior motive. Helping transport things or people for the hotel, she figured, was collateral for housing her even if she got paid to help. Additionally, any kindness she bestowed on Gaia had been out of guilt because she sincerely liked the girl, but couldn't bare the circumstances that brought Gaia to Earth. She did this favor for Forge for an entirely selfless reason -- she had nothing to atone nor was it collateral. They had already began working out their issues so the scrap metal was something else, some sweeping gesture that overtook Lila while waiting for some money to be laundered. She didn't realize how important it was not only to him but to her as the giver. Who knew doing good things without expecting anything in return could feel so good?
Somewhere between deciding between what brand or flavor she wanted, thoughts dawned on her -- of why it her gesture to Forge felt so good or why she'd do such a deed in the first place, of why it stung so much when he lashed out at her and why she felt it necessary to take a break from it all, of why it felt so normal to be around him even if he was not the most social person. He was fascinating, he was handsome, he was smart, he was good with his hands, he was good in bed (or hell, on the work table), he could make her laugh, he could make her cry, he could make her scream, he could get her to leave the planet behind. Ordinary friends would not be capable of such and the realization that Forge was regarded as more than just a friend struck her. Sure, their friendship had its benefits before things had grown awkward between them, but this was different.
She grabbed whatever bag off the shelf, already looking down the aisle. A knot in Lila's heart tightened.
"Bollocks."