lila cheney. (rockingstar) wrote in mutanthaven, @ 2009-11-15 22:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | forge, lila cheney |
log: forge & lila cheney
summary. The day after an awkward night with Brian, Lila seeks out the easier one of her two problems that clearly must have been messing up her inability to have fun. Cue Lila showing up at the workshop, looking for Forge.
LILA: Lila wasn't quite sure what was bugging her, but she was determined to get to the bottom of it so that it wouldn't further ruin her casual sex life. Her evening with Brian had been soured because of it. After thinking -- always best done when she's waiting for one of her in-progress song to render on her computer -- she was convinced she must be stressed over certain relationships in her life having gone to shit. Lila had never really had friendships like she did at the hotel before so she could only figure that any disruption in that would be what was bugging her. It was going to be difficult to reconcile with Gaia and she wasn't sure where to start. However, Forge would be easier to approach. He had already attempted to come to her and talk about what happened, but she had understandably been an exhausted, upset mess over what happened with Gaia in space.
Now she stood outside the door to his workshop, hoping that he was there. There wasn't many other places he would be -- sure he could be in the kitchen or whatever, but she really suspected him to be here. She hovered outside the door, leaning to hold her ear to it so that should could try and make out any sounds -- she also wanted to make sure she wasn't interrupting anything. When she was satisfied, she knocked on the door, loudly so he could hear it over whatever he was working on.
FORGE: Forge had become far more reclusive than ever before after everything that had happened. The quake, its aftermath, the rebuild, Lila leaving, and the amount of work he was required to do in order to get the hotel's security systems up to date hadn't really given him much time for reprieve. Not to mention the fact that he was completely and totally focused on building himself a completely new leg. Not just a prosthetic but a fully functioning piece of bionic technology that not only worked in perfect synchronization with the rest of his body, but one that was better than his existing leg.
Unfortunately, though, he was severely lacking in materials, and while he had a fairly acceptable looking prototype on the table. Or what would have been a prototype, had he not just pulled it apart for the upteenth time this evening. It was only on Lila's fourth or fifth knock that he heard her, and, swearing under his breath he swiveled toward one of the nearby monitors, reaching out and hitting a couple of keys until footage of the outside corridor flashed up onto the screen. If it had been anyone else, he would have completely ignored them; pretended he wasn't in. But it was Lila. Oh god. Turning around in his chair he hit another button - this time one that unlocked his front door. Yes, Forge had been quite reclusive as of late. "It's open, Lila," he called, glancing around for his crutches, and when he wasn't able to locate them, deciding to just remain seated for the time being.
LILA: Lila heard the door unlock and then Forge's voice. She let herself in and began to weave through all the stuff Forge had stored away in here. She eventually found him in the back, still in his seat. She didn't think anything of it. She slid her hands into her back pockets of her skinny jeans, idly glancing around his workshop. "I'm... not interrupting or anything, am I?" She thought it best to ask just in case. She wouldn't want to come in and start this sort of conversation, only for him to be busy or anything.
Though as soon as she said that, she told herself he probably wouldn't have invited her in if he was busy. Right. So she just dove right into why she was here, because Lila was never good at awkward moments and just wanted to get this underway. "So... I thought we could talk. You know, about before I left. You really didn't get a chance to bring it up before we all went to lala land." She let out a small, nervous laugh.
FORGE: He watched her with quiet eyes as she made her way through his labyrinth of machinery, inventions that he had no use for, some that were unfinished, others that were just giant hunks of twisted metal and old engines he'd found here and there. As she spoke, he leaned back in his chair, hand unconsciously falling to where his leg ought to be. For some reason he was more self conscious about it around her, than anyone else. Something Forge barely even realized it himself. "Oh, no, you're not. I was just...yeah." A pause as he glanced over his shoulder at the skeleton of his prosthetic, before setting her with a slight smile.
As she began to explain why she was here, he shifted a little in his seat, wheeling it back a little and reaching for a spare stool that was tucked away under his desk, setting it in front of him and patting its top invitingly. "Heh...sure. Things have been a little crazy around here lately." He leaned forward a little bit, scratching his face absently, noting its five o'clock shadow. "Did...you want to start...?" Awkward. How does one begin this sort of discussion?
LILA: Lila glanced at the makings of a prosthetic behind him but didn't want to look for too long. Something about staring at what he was making to replace his leg seemed impolite and invasive. But he had said she wasn't interrupting so she tried to focus on that, rather than what he had been working on. She brushed her bangs back, hair that could never make it to her pony tail because she kept cutting it, before she took the offer for the stool. She crossed one knee over the other as she gripped onto the sides of the stool, trying to figure out where to begin.
There was still some residual feeling of doing nothing wrong -- Forge had been the one to lash out at her. But still, she mulled over it. "Oh Forge. I don't know. Just…" she took a slow breath as she focused on some machinery past him. It was best just to be straight-forward, right? "You were such a little shit before I left, and I didn't know if it was because things had been weird between us or because I actually came around. And I know you were going through whatever but I don't know," she gave a small shrug. "I just -- I didn't like it and I wasn't going to put up with it. I was prepared to put up with a lot, actually, but the way…" she began to speak faster before she stopped herself. She wasn't going to hash out every detail. That wouldn't make things better. It certainly wasn't going to make her feel better. "Anyway, I'm tired of holding it against you but I don't know what to do about it. So that's where I stand."
FORGE: His brows furrowed, and as she spoke he idly picked up the metal joint that would eventually form the basis for a knee cap. Twisting it around in his hands, he listened quietly, occasionally glancing up at her, but mostly keeping his eyes on the object in his hands. It was easier that way. Truth be told, he could barely remember how he treated her in those first few weeks after loosing his leg. Closing his eyes, Forge pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, "Lila." He began slowly, "Look, I--" He broke off and shook his head. "I was a jerk, before you left. I was--" God this was so hard to talk about, every word was dragged out of his mouth with a serrated edge to it, and he grunted running his hand across his face. "I was still trying to--to deal with what happened. I--in some ways I still am. Those first few weeks are such a blur, and I know I lashed out at you. It just was easier. It was--fuck." He broke off once more, refusing to meet her gaze as he finished, "It was easier than letting you in. I didn't want you to feel obligated to hang around."
Forge drew in a deep shuddering breath, finally raising his eyes to meet her own lovely dark ones, hoping to find a warmth in them, instead of the cold detatchment he knew of late. "Was I..." His voice caught in his throat a little, and he coughed a little uncomfortably, feeling a heat rise to his face - Forge wasn't good at this sort of thing. Opening up was certainly not a strong suit. "Was I the reason you left?"
LILA: Lila was close to changing her mind about having this conversation. Talking things out was never her forte and Lila knew that Forge talking about anything personal was difficult for him. When he tried to talk, she watched and listened to him carefully, leaning forward as she held onto the stool. If it was painful for him to talk about it, it was nearly as painful to listen to. And to be honest, she wasn't expecting him to ask that. She figured they would talk awkwardly around a few points until they came to some sort of conclusion and could resume being friends. Friends in the platonic sense. It had been a long time since she had engaged in any sort of sexual activity with Forge -- two men ago, at least. But aside from the benefits in friends-with-benefits, Lila enjoyed Forge's company. Like now -- well, she wasn't actually enjoying it, per se, but it was a lot better than what had been established before she left.
So when he asked that question, her first instinct was to lie -- lie through your teeth, Cheney; no need making this deeper than it needed to be. But then that would go against the purpose of this, trying to get their friendship back on track. While she might have lied through omission, he asked her point blank. Couldn't really avoid the question now, after she's hesitated for a long moment consideration. She simply nodded her head, looking down at her knee. Yeah, yeah so she did. She had been upset and hurt and seeing him at that party had just made it worse because they weren't even talking to each other. It seemed like a good idea to suggest to Gaia that they take a little trip, not knowing that it would blow up in her face. After admitting that, she addressed something else he said. "It's not really your call whether or not I feel obligated to hang around you, Forge. I wanted to be there or else I wouldn't have come at all." Which might have been better than what had transpired.
FORGE: At her nod of admission, he sighed heavily, turning his face away from her to stare blindly off at a wall. He had pushed her away, that much was clear; hurt her deeply enough that she felt she had to leave for weeks, just to get away from him. The guilt that came with this realisation wasn't pleasant, and Forge swallowed audibly.
"I...I know it's not." He finally addressed her last comment, dragging his gaze back to her, "And I'm--I'm sorry. I was a dick, and I made the wrong assumption based off--I don't know what. I didn't feel like...I didn't feel like myself anymore and I just--" He broke off, and lifted a shoulder in what was a rather apologetic shrug, "I didn't know how to deal. You know me, Lila. I'm not good with people. You know how many people came to visit me with their 'sorrys' and their 'how you doings' and all I wanted was for you to walk through that fucking door, and when you did --every fucking time that you did, my insides would ball up and I didn't know what to do. I hate--ugh." Once again, Forge covered his face with his hands, taking a deep breath, "I hate not knowing how to fix things. I didn't know how to fix us." He fell silent after that, feeling exhausted and more exposed than he ever had before. This was not a side that he liked to show, this confused, unsure, emotionally stunted man who didn't have the answers. He'd taken a very big risk, letting Lila into that part of him, and he peeked up at her, fearing her response.
LILA: In defense, Lila didn't know they were going to be gone for weeks. It was an unfortunate side effect of getting arrested after being Lila knew she was seeing a very rare side of Forge. She grew quiet after he finished, letting his words hang between them before she reached out for his free hand, place hers on top and her fingers curling around his hand. She rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand as she let what he said sink in.
"You can't fix us," she started quietly. "We're not some machine or toy you've been playing with. And even if we could be fixed, we'd just go back and mess it up again. We're people, we're bound to make mistakes -- especially you, let's be honest," she smiled as she teased gently. He was much better at dealing with machines than people, though Lila thought he was handling this situation just fine. It was also a reminder that while he was going to mistakes just as much as she was, he was still human after all. Sometimes it was nice remembering that, given how much he preferred the company of machines. She gave his hand a squeeze. "But this?" She implied their conversation now. It was going to get as close to fixing as he could get. "-- This is a start."
FORGE: Rather startled at her sudden contact, he sat up a little, but certainly didn't pull his hand away from hers. In fact, he quite liked the feeling of her soft fingers against his calloused own ones. "I..." His voice was thick, and he honestly didn't know what else to say. He'd exhausted his quota of emotional outpouring for the next two years with that little speech, and he was quickly building his walls back up, the embarrassment of being so raw beginning to set in.
Clearing his throat, Forge stared down at her hand, "Good." He finally half choked out, "That's good." His eyes searched the room for something else to look at, but they finally fell back to her face - she often had that effect on him. Like two magnets drawn together, his gaze would search out her face - though it wasn't something he was ready to admit. "So..." he murmured, "Uh...where to, from here?" Step by step. He needed to know what was coming - Forge definitely did not like surprises.
LILA: She smiled wider, sitting up and letting go of Forge's hand. It seemed this conversation had gotten to a good point. Lila was already feeling infinitely more optimistic. Hopefully Forge felt the same because Lila was now going to move past that. She was less concerned with vocalizing where they were headed; instead, why not just show him. She nodded toward the skeletal prosthetic on his work table. "How about you tell me what the fuck you're building and we can go from there," she challenged him. By asking him what he was working on, it guaranteed they would spend some quality time together. And after all, Lila thought Forge and his abilities were fascinating and could listen to him go on about his projects. It would also give her some insight on progress he was making about his leg without asking specifically about his leg.
FORGE: He glanced toward his handiwork on the table, his face visibly relaxing as the stress of the last few minutes conversation dropped from his expression, smile widening as he pushed his chair to the side, inviting her closer to the desk for a better look. Settling back a little, "It's my leg." He began, "Right now I'm having an issue with the weight of the metal..." And for the rest of the afternoon, they stay together, heads bowed over his desk as he went through the preliminary mechanics of his new prosthetic, part by part.