Forge and Lila Summary! Forge visits Lila upon her return home. Things are awkward and then awkwardly okay. Backdated!
FORGE: Forge tapped his screwdriver against the table, staring hard at the clock on his computer monitor. How long does one wait until someone is 'settled?' What did that even mean? It had been a good couple of hours - more than that, actually, as he'd lost himself in the mechanics of a bioscanner he was trying to get up and running for the security system. Never let it be said that Forge couldn't easily distract himself.
Finally, after an agonizing couple of minutes, he sucked in a tight breath, and reached for his crutches. His home made prosthetic sat ignored over on his work table, Forge having currently put that current activity on hold because he couldn't source the right materials for the pylon axle and until he found a metal light enough, there was no use continuing. It was all very well creating a brand new leg for himself, but if he couldn't fucking lift it, there was no real point.
Using the table as leverage he pushed himself up, and made his way out of his workshop, heading toward the elevator. Once he was at Lila's door, he took a deep breath, and ran his hand over his face. He had treated Lila very badly, he was aware of that now, but he wasn't sure he was ready to own that, yet. He had his pride, and admitting he was wrong wasn't something Forge was used to doing.
Raising his fist, Forge knocked a tentative three times.
LILA: After some initial exchanges on the network and checking in with Cecilia, Lila slept. She didn't know for how long, but it wasn't a good sleep. She kept waking up at every unfamiliar sound, every inch of sunlight that made her way past the thick curtains she installed. Lila never had a normal sleep schedule and any prolonged time in space definitely messed with that. Eventually, she was just laying in bed, going over everything that had gone wrong -- how she should never have gotten that sick and thus needed to be admitted to a hospital, how she probably should have been straight with Gaia in the first place, how she shouldn't have manipulated Gaia into helping her escape but maybe just asked.
She pulled herself out of bed and took a scalding hot shower, the first good scrub she had in awhile. She stayed in as long as she could, the bathroom filled with a thick steam that she had to wipe off the mirror. She pulled on a clean band t-shirt and some shorts, letting her wet hair hang around her shoulders and dampen the shirt. She just wanted to crawl back into bed after another coughing fit, but then the knock at the door came.
She looked at it for a long moment, deducing who it could be but figured it could really be only one person who'd knock like that, one person who said he'd stop by later. She was tempted to not answer it since her bed was right there -- she was so close. But she then just wanted to get this over with. If it went bad, she can just pile it on top of the other things that she'd dwell on.
When she answered the door, she opened it wide, gripping onto the edge of it as she looked him straight in the face. She stood there in her pajamas, without make-up and shoes, making her look smaller than she actually was. She didn't say anything because of the unexpected tightening in her chest.
FORGE: It felt like an age, standing there, gripping the handle of his crutches until his knuckles were bone white, putting as much force into his arms as he could, trying to ignore the sick feeling deepening in his stomach. Nerves, Forge? Really? He shook his head slightly, and shifted his weight a little, ready to turn and leave, but suddenly the door was pulled open, and there she stood.
She looked tired. Thin and pale and drawn, with dark circles around her eyes and a prominent frown line at the corner of her mouth. He was sure that line hadn't been there before, and he resisted the urge to run his thumb across it, smooth it out. He wasn't here for that. He was here to...to what? Repair the damage he'd done before she'd left? He wasn't even sure it was repairable, or how he could go about fixing it.
They stared at each other in silence for a few heartbeats, before Forge cleared his throat, feeling colour rise to his cheeks - thankfully he hadn't shaved in nearly three weeks, and had developed a wiry beard of hair across his lower face. He was glad for its cover, right now, and broke her gaze, staring down at his foot for a second, or where his right foot ought to be.
"I didn't wake you, did I?" He finally asked, raising his eyes once more, forcing himself to directly meet her gaze.
LILA: Lila couldn't help but think that Forge needed to shave, desperately. Her eyes wandered from his face, down to his beard, and eventually his crutches before she looked at the door. Her hand slid from the side to hold onto the interior doorknob, behind the door. She gave it a few idle twists before she looked back at him.
She shook her head once, twice before opening her mouth. "No, you didn't." She had been awake a little while before he showed up. After a moment's consideration, she shifted her weight between her feet and opened the door a little wider. "Did you want to come in?" Because if they were going to say anything to each other, she sure as hell didn't want it happening where anyone in the hallway could overhear it.
FORGE: A grunt in response to her question, and he glanced down the hallway, as if looking for a quick escape. Finally, with a reluctant quirk of the corner of his mouth in what was a semi sort of smile, he ducked his head, "Yeah. Sure."
He made his way inside, watching her shut the door behind him before glancing around the room, awkwardly hovering in the middle of the room, not really sure what to say, or where to sit. He was suddenly very aware of his crutches, and he deliberately avoided her gaze, looking anywhere but her. "How was...how was your trip?" Small talk.
LILA: After Forge had managed his way into her room, she closed the door quietly. Forge looked severely out of place in her room, just about how she felt back at the hotel since her and Gaia's return. She let out a strangled laugh, folding her arms in front of her chest. "Started off nice before becoming a horrible disaster," which went beyond the confines of small talk and more definitely in the direction of awkward. She didn't elaborate much on that, looking down at her feet for a brief second before eyeing the state of her room.
FORGE: "...oh. I'm sorry to hear that..." He fidgeted with the handle of his crutch for a moment, before glancing toward her bed, "Mind if I sit down?" He didn't really wait for an answer - standing made him feel awkward, when he was without his prosthetic - that knot of pant leg at the bottom of his stump looked fucking ridiculous, and he preferred to be in a position where Lila couldn't see it. Without really waiting for her to respond, he moved to the edge of her bed and lowered himself down, all the while watching her, brows creased in a sort of perplexed concern.
"Do you want to talk about what happened?"
LILA: Lila looked elsewhere as he got settled, not really going to stop him. She tried not to stare as he moved onto the edge of her bed, focusing on other things. She settled against the edge of her desk, unfolding her arms and leaning back on her palms. "Not... particularly." It was pretty much her worst nightmare ever. The last thing Lila Cheney ever wanted was to be caught. "Got sick. Gaia checked me into the hospital. That alerted certain people to my whereabouts." She tried to sound nonchalant.
FORGE: Forge wasn't a complete social incompetent, and he could tell something was definitely bothering Lila. He set her with a hard look, scrutinizing her expression, "Certain people?" Now he was curious. The distance between them physically right now was about as frustrating as the emotional one, and he dug his fingers into her mattress, just wishing they could get things back on track. Back to that light-hearted fun and comical banter they used to have before...everything hit the fan.
LILA: She shook her head, already not feeling too good. It was easy to forget how sick she was feeling while in the shower -- hot showers always cleared her head and made her feel half-way decent. However, that ick feeling slowly brought its way back around to her head and she just wanted to crawl into a dark, warm space and ignore the world for a little while until Cecilia came back around.
Ignoring the fact that Forge had taken over one edge of her bed, she moved around the other side and crawled back under her covers as she spoke. "Nobody -- just forget it. It's not worth talking about. It's over, I'm back, no need to dwell on it." Which was a lie. It was all Lila could think about.
FORGE: Watching with dark eyes as she stood and moved to the other side of her mattress, Forge somewhat awkwardly swiveled around to face her, his good leg providing the balance, dangling over the side of the bed. Tentatively, he reached out to brush a lock of hair from her forehead once she was settled, frowning at her temperature when his rough fingertips met her skin. "It's bothering you." He replied, matter of factly. He wished he knew what do to. What to say. Lord knew he was never good at this sort of thing and so instead, he pushed himself up so that his back rested against the headboard, his body parallel to hers.
After a moment's silence and hesitation, Forge slid down so that he was eye level with Lila, his gaze flicking nervously from one eye to the other, biting his lip for a brief moment. "I'm sorry." He finally admitted, voice low and thick. "--For being an ass, before you left." A pause, "I'm sorry you left in the first place." If she wouldn't talk about what was bothering her, then he'd start the ball rolling. He felt at least semi responsible for the state she was in now, and it filled him with that sick feeling of guilt.
LILA: Whyyyyy did he have to keep on talking? She tried to pretend it didn't affect her but she could already feel that urge to just start crying. It had been a difficult time, everything recently. She had maintained a stoic, if not exhausted, facade and marched on. She didn't have time to break down while she was under the investigator's custody because she was more concerned about her survival than she was even her health. She wouldn't allow herself to break down in front of Gaia, still wallowing in a little anger and frustration from that whole episode. But when Forge's fingers barely brushed against her forehead and he started speaking like that, she rolled onto her back to look at the ceiling, forcibly not tearing up despite the feeling twisting in her gut.
"It was a long time ago anyway," she stumbled at first, trying clumsily to absolve the whole situation to keep herself from getting too invested. She tried to keep from coughing just so she could finish talking. She had been so preoccupied in space (for legitimate reasons) that she hadn't had time to figure out what she felt about it. But it did feel like ages ago. Part of her just wanted to accept it and move on. She did dwell at first and now she had new things to dwell on. "It doesn't... a lot of things are bothering me right now and I don't even know where to start," she finished quietly. Her jaw tightened.
FORGE: He sighed heavily as she turned away; how could he fix things if she kept being so distant? What was he supposed to do? Did she want him to leave? To nag at her until she told him about every last detail of her trip? He was at a loss, here, and his lips thinned visibly in consternation, and he fought back a groan of frustration.
He propped his head up on his elbow and tried to catch her gaze again, "Alright." He finally managed a little shortly. Another long pause, "I don't....know what to do, Lila." His free hand moved involuntarily toward her, and he couldn't help but notice how helpless he sounded, "I want to help you--I--I just--you know I'm not good at this stuff. If you want me to go, I'll go. But I don't want to. I want to know what's bothering you --what happened out there? What's wrong?"
LILA: Hearing that he wasn't here for the sole purpose of making himself feel better or getting apologetic on her made her feel the tiniest bit relieved. Still. She just didn't talk about this stuff and she was bound to just shake her head and not talk, even if part of her wanted him to stay anyway. But then she remembered how not talking, not being the tiniest bit honest ended up biting her in the ass with Gaia. Not that this was like that situation, per se, since she was not accidentally rescuing-instead-of-kidnapping him, but that idea was still there: telling the truth kept people around.
Not that it wasn't a struggle; it took strength to glance over at him without the slight trembling, the important tell-tale sign that she wasn't sure she could talk without just breaking down. Sure enough, as soon as she opened her mouth to speak, her composure faltered and her face crumbled. "I'm.. I'm not a nice person -- not that I ever claimed to be -- I'm... well, not bad but not good. Definitely not good." She took a shakey breath, moving into a few chesty coughs. "I was stupid and the money was good and I just... I didn't know... what was at stake. Didn't think it'd be a girl."
FORGE: If anything, Forge was a good listener, and his brow creased together as Lila spoke, frowning briefly in concern when she coughed, but other than that, remaining silent. That silence grew longer once Lila had stopped talking, because she still had left quite a fair amount unanswered.
"..... ..wait, wait slow down." He shook his head, trying to make sense of what she was saying. A girl? Stakes? Money? Forge had absolutely no idea what sort of outer space activities Lila was involved with, and so he was having a little trouble keeping up, even though the pain in Lila's voice was evident. "Whatever it is that you've done, we can fix this," he assured her, sitting up a little and watching her expression intently, "what girl, Lila? What happened?" Oh god he hoped she hadn't killed anybody.
LILA: She hadn't killed anybody -- at least, she was pretty sure she hadn't. She couldn't be completely sure someone hadn't died because of her, especially in her early days when Spyder guided her. She couldn't be held responsible for what she was told to do in those days. She stayed focused on something else in the distance, unable to look at him in the face. If she did, she'd forget everything she had to say. It was easier saying this if she was just saying it out loud instead of to Forge, whom she had let get close but not close enough to warrant divulging in her less-than-savory activities.
"Gaia. Some people.. they kidnapped Gaia and I had been paid to dispose of her? Only they didn't say it was going to be someone. They made it out to be some stupid security system and I just went with it. I didn't know until I got to the drop point." Once Lila started talking, the words continued to spill out, a little more clearly than before -- until she got to the next part. "But I just.. I couldn't just...I didn't know what else to do and I couldn't just leave her anywhere."
FORGE: His brow furrowed in confusion at first - when Lila was throwing about words like 'kidnapped' and 'drop point' one could forgive him a little for that. "Wait, let me get this straight..." he paused, trying to sort everything into the perfect, logical linear sort of pattern he found it most comfortable to think in, "You helped these people...kidnap Gaia? And then you bought her here?" He ran a hand across his face thoughtfully, "I'm guessing the way she treated you like you were her own personal Jesus she didn't really have the full story, right?" And if Gaia's more recent behaviour on the networks was anything to go by, the pink haired girl had found out what really happened. Forge sighed, and shuffled a little closer to Lila, almost unconsciously.
"She'll get over it." He told her simply, trying his best to avoid thinking about what other unsavoury little projects Lila had operating back up in space. "She'll understand."
LILA: "She won't -- she won't because she doesn't think like I do, or like the rest of us do. Not that I can blame her. She's not human. What I've done looks bad, I know. But I just didn't leave her anywhere. I could have, but I didn't. I brought her here against my best judgment because I couldn't leave her anywhere else -- fuck, what's wrong with me." She finished, still unable to look at Forge in the eye. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" She wasn't talking to Forge toward the end of that, speaking mostly out loud now that she had most of her problems out in the open.
FORGE: Forge sat up a little, hoisting himself up with an elbow as he tried to catch her eye. "Hey...hey." His hand moved a little closer to her, but at the last minute he changed his mind and sort of awkwardly patted her on her shoulder instead, "There's nothing wrong with you..." He swallowed and searched her expression for any hint of what to say. There was none, and so he pushed on blindly, hoping he was saying the right things. Forge wanted to make her feel better. Every breath in his body was geared toward attempting to cleanse this awful guilt that seemed to be making Lila so miserable, but the problem was his inability to relate to any of this on an emotional level. Still. He did he best.
"Nothing is wrong with you." He told Lila firmly, "You did what you thought--what was best for her. Gaia seems to have some pretty complicated morals, but from what I've seen, the rest of her is pretty simple. Eventually those morals of hers will conflict with that ridiculous amount of love she has for you, and--I don't know her that well -- but I'm willing to bet money that she'll forgive you." He took a deep breath and held it, hoping he'd said the right thing.
LILA: Lila hadn't brought up the fact that she had manipulated Gaia in the hospital, manipulated her into helping her escape. She wasn't sure what to do with that except keep that bottled up. She didn't want to do it in the first place and it was one thing she was especially not proud about. She didn't want to admit to it and it was bad enough she had to come somewhat clean about her other activities.
She coughed and when that subsided, she took a deep breath. "Yeah?" She really wanted to get off the topic now -- she didn't want to talk about it in the first place, even if she felt better getting it all out. She just, she wanted to move on. "How much money?" She tried to smile a little.
FORGE: About to suggest she see a doctor, as she began to cough, Lila spoke first, and it was a joke, to Forge's relief. It seemed to break that sombre mood that had been between them a little, and he smiled briefly, "Not a lot. You know how much Warren pays us, I've got very little cash, right now. Especially not after how much I was billed for a prosthetic." That check had just cleared, and Forge was lacking several thousand dollars for a fucking useless piece of crap that pinched at every angle. "I'll write you an IOU, if I lose. Or build you a new sound system."
LILA: When he mentioned the prosthetic, Lila's expression faltered. It was like the pink elephant that was in the room -- or in this case, wasn't, since he came in on crutches. The instinct to offer some money to help him out was there -- anything she earned from working at the hotel was meager compared to what she had in her accounts and what she could earn in space. But that was kind of what got her into trouble in the first place. Also, how incredibly awkward would it be for her to do that, offer him money?
She rolled over onto her side to face him. She tucked some still-damp hair behind her ear, deciding to go along with the joking though her tone was a little more serious than it normally would be, perhaps even a little husky. It was all the coughing, you see, mixed with her tone that made her voice sound like that. "You mean, you wouldn't do that on your own accord?" Build her a sound system.
FORGE: A tight grin then, and he shrugged, perhaps misinterpreting her tone a little for one that was a little more flirty, rather than one that was simply joking. "You never know." He answered, before his embarrassment got the better of him, and he glanced away, clearing his throat, and sitting up, "Uh...well." He threw her a quick glance before swinging his leg around to rest against the floor, and reaching for his crutches. "You probably need some rest...I'll let you sleep." Standing, and seperating his crutches, leaning heavily on them, Forge offered her one last awkward smile, "S'good to see you back."
LILA: Lila watched him quietly as he stood, adverting his eyes when he balanced his full weight onto his crutches after she caught a glimpse of his pant leg tied. She didn't stop him and tell him he could say nor did she move from her spot on the bed. It was true she needed some more rest or else Cecilia might fuss at her. She forced a small smile when he looked at her one last time. "Thanks."