and they'll make you a star ; alison blaire (singspiel) wrote in mutanthaven, @ 2009-09-13 23:54:00 |
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ALI: Normally, Ali attended an NA meeting across town, but through a series of twists and turns this week, she had missed it. Her sobriety was important to her, so even though it was way out of her comfort zone, she decided to go to a meeting a bit closer to the hotel. While the idea of sharing with a bunch of "strangers" scared her, she knew that it would only benefit her, so she grinned and bared it so to speak. It was only one meeting. How hard could it be? When she had started on her clean and sober journey, Ali had to step into a meeting full of strangers, so this should be nothing. Nothing at all. Of course, she ended up late to the meeting and darted into the small room at the local Methodist church at the last minute before the doors were closed so the meeting could officially start. She smiled nervously at the other attendees before quickly sinking into one of the folded chairs that had been arranged in a circle. Setting her purse down on the ground, Ali started to quickly survey the other people in the circle and three people to her right her eyes fell on... Jack Power? Their eyes locked for a moment and she offered a faint smile, but it was broken when the appointed leader for that particular meeting started to say the opening words. It was really a rather normal meeting. Thanks to a suggestion from one of the other members, the theme for the meeting was talking about acceptance and when the time came, Ali discussed her own thoughts on it: how she had to accept that her actions really hurt people and it may take more time that she liked, how she had to accept that she still had the urge to do cocaine, and how she had to accept the fact the earthquake had destroyed basically everything she owned, including musical compositions she would never have again. It was a bit tough considering Jack was there, but she made it through. After the meeting concluded, the leader asked that everyone gather up their chairs and put them away before announcing there were some after meeting donuts and soda. Ali picked up her purse and slung it over her shoulder before folding up her chair, making her way toward the designated chair rack. And Jack. "Hi," she said quietly as she slipped beside him in the small line for chair return. It was important to her that she didn't just "play dumb" with this. JACK: These meetings, these things he attended, drove Jack kind of batty. He was always an outgoing child but growing up he became more inward with his emotions, his feelings, and liked to keep a cap on them. Being forced to speak outloud about his life and experiences really pushed him to express his emotions and slowly Jack had come around to doing that. Thing is, he wanted to be clean for his family, for his friends, he wanted to show them that he was still human and cared but, like humans, he screwed up. Big time. When he sat down, he made sure it was between two people he's used to, and when Jack finally managed to look up from his feet, his heart nearly fell out of his chest at making eye contact with Ali; throughout the meeting, when she spoke, he listened but stared at a spot on the floor. When his turn came, Jack tried to not mumble and explain things. His acceptance was that being gifted (though he never said what kind of gift) meant that he had expectations to live up to, and he couldn't be some macho hero on drugs, even if they were good to him. More importantly, he accepted that he fucked a lot of people over and that his family really did hate him. Jack really didn't want them to hate him anymore. Shuffling by the rack, he had hung around to help put away chairs and automatically reached for Ali's. Her greeting caught him off guard and he gulped, nearly dropping the chair. "Oh---hey, Ali, what's up," and another chair was put away and he turned around, looking at their shoes, "Good night, huh." ALI: It got easier, Jack. It really did and one day, you might actually look forward to coming to the meetings to share things with fellow recovering addicts. Hell, it was a free form of therapy. Of course, Ali would never admit how long reaching that stage took her, but it would happen. Hopefully. And if he only knew exactly how much Ali knew about fucking a lot of people over and generally making beyond terrible decisions while she was using drugs. It still boggled her mind that people could have ever forgiven her, especially her father. Back then, she had pretty much done everything in the book to fuck up the relationship with her father, though when she finally broke down and admitted she needed help, he was there for her. It would have made Ali sad to know Jack's family didn't do the same thing, but at the same time she completely understood their anger. "Oh!" The chair dropped and there may have been the quickest glow of light as she lost her concentration for a moment. Thankfully, it was caught. "Yeah. It was good." Awkward pause. "I normally don't come here, but I missed my regular meeting this week..." JACK: "Huh... I didn't know you went. Um. This is my normal location," he stumbled through that sentence, then brushed past her still looking at the ground. Coffee was supplied, and he could probably use a cup before heading home to wake him up. It was a long bike ride back to the hotel. "I... I mean, this is where I normally go," come? been to? he didn't know. Reaching for the paper cups, he offered one out to Ali once he had filled it up with the store-brand beans, it smelled burnt and watered down, but it would make due. Enough for now, that is. Jack felt awkward having been caught in the act at a Narc Anon meeting. It showed in his body language. Ali is a big musician to him, she has a paying job, this sort of thing came with that, right? He's just a wannabe artist. "So... how was your day." Please, his eyes pleaded when he finally looked at her, don't ask him about why he's here. That'll just make him want to cry or run into a wall or shrink, right here, on the spot. ALI: "Yeah. I used to snort a lot of cocaine back in the day," she answered with a nod as she moved to the side. That statement was said rather bluntly, but it was the truth and it wasn't like Ali could sugar coat it. Ask any of the older residents of the hotel and they could probably tell you all about it. No use having secrets or something. Oh hey. Coffee. Taking the cup, she leaned against the table just a bit and stared at the ground, obviously noticing Jack's body language. If he was here, Ali was obviously here for similar reasons. It wasn't like getting caught in the porn section of a video store by some church buddies or something. It was pretty obvious why Jack was here. "Eh. Kind of boring. Yours?" Hand the bad coffee over please. JACK: "Oh---you, oh, wow, I had no idea," cocaine, huh. He wouldn't have expected it but then again, it's such an easy drug to conceal... Jack had done it but the effects with his system were minimal, unless he snorted a lot, and then that just broke his bank. A rich person's drug, that was. Jack had new found respect for Ali now. With a shrug, he sipped from the cup, thinking about his day. "I woke up, got screwed against a wall, had breakfast, went surfing for a bit, had some KFC for lunch, and then came here... so, good, I guess. It's pretty normal." There's a bit of information in there that Ali may not have wanted to know, but he said it anyway. Sharing, right? This is safe ground. "I rode my bike here." Jack tapped his foot, then sighed, "I really suck at sharing, sorry." ALI: She gave him a nervous smile. "Yeah. Not something I really like to mention of message boards or anything." It wasn't that Ali wouldn't talk about these things, but she didn't think they needed to be brought up all the time. Mentioning she was a small step above a crack whore for awhile wasn't exactly the best way to get people to like you. Well, except if you were Jack maybe. Whoa wait. Screwed against a wall? Well, that caught her a bit off guard, but she somehow managed to keep a neutral face through the whole comment. "Sounds like a good day so far," she finally answered. Please don't feel the need to share anymore with her. "And don't worry about sharing. I mean, it's not really easy and you have to do it when you're ready, you know?" She understood, Jack. Abandoning her coffee, Ali began to dig through her purse until she finally produced a pen and a scrap of paper. She leaned over the table and jotted ten numbers onto the scrap, holding it out to Jack a moment later. "I should really get going, but here's my number. In case you have questions or want to talk or anything. You don't have to, but I kind of get the whole thing." On the last two words, she gestured to indicate the whole meeting and being addicted to drugs thing. JACK: "It was good," he agreed, thinking back on it again. Things were always a little off color in his life, you know, like a muted rainbow with sprinkles and unicorns dancing on it. Jack dipped his head. This was all kind of hard for him: sharing. What a terrible term. It should be like admitting your faults. With a grin, he took the number, glanced at it, and stuck it in his pocket. It will be programmed into the phone later, when he's alone, and can gush over having The Ali's cell phone number. "Cool, thanks... I... I probably will. I know I need help." That's also the first step to admitting you have issues, right? Saying you need it? He swears he was told that once. "I don't want people to think I'm a waste of air." Pause. "I want to be a hero, too." ALI: It certainly was more exciting than her own day, half of which was spent in her pajamas. Eventually she decided to get dressed, run some errands and here she was with Jack. Funny turn of events. Smiling, she picked up her purse and slung it over her shoulder before taking a moment to look down at the ground. It really wasn't that long ago that she was where Jack was now. So looking up and reaching out, Ali placed her hand on his elbow briefly, giving it a little squeeze. "You're not a waste of air. You've just gotten off track." Then she dropped her arm back to her side and took a step backward, curving her body some so she could easily head for the door. "Give me a call or drop me a message sometime, Jack." And with a wave, she turned to leave. |