Madeline -{Raven}- Harker (thehalfdemon) wrote in musingslogs, @ 2011-05-10 18:57:00 |
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Entry tags: | raven, starfire |
Who: Kat & Madeline
What: A first meeting, and the birth of an idea
Where: The Dojo
When: Backdated to Saturday (5/7) morning
The past week had been crazy, there was just no other word for it. Katya had gone to bed Friday night and woke up Saturday morning at the crack of dawn. She went through her morning routine, eating a filling but light breakfast and dressing in her work out clothes. She chose to jog the long way to the Dojo and arrived a good half an hour before her regular sparring time. Whether or not Gideon would show up didn’t even cross her mind until 8am rolled around and she was still all alone. Reflecting on it, she hadn’t expected him to show up, but it still hurt that he didn’t.
She went through her moves, anger coursing through every lunge, every punch, and every kick. Before she knew it, her powers were coming through, pooling in her palms as they did, and Katya did little to control it. She was deeply focused, anger at herself and her father coursing through her, and before she knew it, she threw out the palm of her hand at the hanging punching bag and hit it with an angry energy blast, causing it to swing angrily back and forth. Katya stopped short, breathing heavily.
--
Madeline had woken up with the sun as usual, and as she drank her morning tea decided she would visit the Dojo to meditate. While her neighbor had agreed to keep thing quiet while he worked on her noise canceling headphones (and she still couldn’t quite believe he’d offered to make her a pair) but she felt like getting out of the apartment. It had been awhile since she’d been back for a visit anyway, and she did want to see how Sam was doing. So that was how she’d found herself meditating quietly when a red head arrived at the Dojo. Madeline had seen her around the Dojo once or twice, usually with an older man, but Madeline had never spoken to her. Nor did she have any desire to frankly.
Over the years Madeline had gotten quite good at ignoring people, to lose herself in meditation and let her spirit leave her body behind. There were somethings even she couldn’t ignore though, on at that list was a very angry woman throwing energy blasts around. Normally Madeline would have just continued to keep to herself even if she found the women slightly distracting. Somehow though she was reminded of herself and her own powers. This women was letting her emotions control her. “Are you stupid?” Madeline snapped, tone biting as she stood up. “Do you always go around using your powers like that? What if I hadn’t been a Creation?”
--
The snapped words shocked Katya into motion, spinning on her heel to face the threat - as her mind registered it. As soon as she saw the young woman however, Katya immediately lowered her hands and her posture. “I am sorry,” she apologized, duly chastised by the unfamiliar girl. Curiosity got the best of her though and she stepped forward, hardly paying any attention to the fact that she was sweaty or the biting tone the girl spoke in.
“Where did you come from? I did not see you when I arrived this morning? How did you get back here? Samuel always leaves this space for us on Saturdays,” she asked, one right after the other, not considering that the girl obviously knew Sam if she had wandered back here.
---
Madeline raised a brow at the first question. “I was already here when you got here.” She hummed slightly, Sam had mentioned something about letting a friend use the backroom, but she’d assumed if the woman had wanted privacy she would have said as much. It hadn’t occurred to her that perhaps she hadn’t even been seen. Madeline would admit she tried her best to go unnoticed most days, and she supposed it had just become a habit to fall back into the shadows. “I didn’t realize when Sam said he was letting a friend use the backroom it was suppose to be closed off.” Madeline didn’t sound apologetic or remorseful, merely that she was making a dry observation. She didn’t offer any explanation of who she was to Sam that she herself would be allowed back here, why should she give up the information if it wasn’t asked of her. Though Madeline probably wouldn’t have given much explanation even if she was asked. She didn’t like talking about her past, and liked even less trying to explain her relationship to Sam in a way others would understand. She supposed the most accurate description would be that he was like a father to her, but she had less than tender feelings toward the word.
--
“You were here already? I did not even notice you. I am very sorry for that,” Katya replied sincerely. She looked over the girl curiously. Not many people knew about the back room, and less had unrestricted access to the room, which made her curious as to how Maddy did. “Have you known Samuel long?” she asked, walking toward Maddy in as nonthreatening a manner as possible.
“I am Katya, also. Who are you?” Not once did it dawn on her that she wasn’t being as tactful as she could have been with this conversation; that was just how Katya worked through surprises like Maddy’s presence.
---
“I’ve known him awhile.” she said vaguely. Even if she had just seen her throw around energy blasts Madeline didn’t think she would have considered Katya particularly threatening even if she hadn’t been aiming for such. Growing up at the Dojo she had more than enough experience with hand to hand combat and her telekinesis gave her an extra edge at least.
“I’m Madeline.” She moved to return to her position on the floor, legs crossed. She glanced at the punching bag that had so recently born the brunt of the red head’s anger. “You shouldn’t let yourself be fuel by your anger.” she commented, mentally trying to talk herself out of a terrible idea.
--
Katya nodded, accepting the woman’s word for truth. She didn’t know Sam all that well, only said hello and goodbye to him on Saturdays when she came to spar with either Gideon or Scarlette. There wasn’t any reason for this girl to lie to her, and, truth be told, Kat was never one to think that people would lie. When Maddy introduced herself, Katya replied, “It is lovely to meet you!” As soon as the other girl sat on the floor, Katya took a seat cross-legged just across from her.
“Anger is how my ability works, and it is very effective. One cannot bury emotions, especially a Mask, if one wishes to still be whole,” Katya replied very seriously. She was curious about Madeline, and what she was trying to get at. “It is sometimes difficult, when things are particularly horrendous,” she conceded, recalling the past week and how ridiculous it had been.
---
Madeline was a bit surprised by Kat’s seemingly genuine, and enthusiastic greeting, but she was even more surprised to hear that Kat’s power was fueled by her anger. She felt a stab of what could almost be called jealousy that Kat’s powers would fueled by what most would call natural while she was forced to keep a constant watch on her own feelings if she didn’t want thing exploding all around her. If she was anyone else she might have been sufficiently distracted by this to not notice Katya’s comment about Masks, but she wasn’t and so she did. “Are you saying you’re a Mask?” she asked with just the tiniest hint of curiosity peeking through her usual expression that seemed to suggest she found everything bland and lacking. Weren’t Masks suppose to be a bit more secretive about all this? No matter, she cared very little about whether people wanted to run around with their underwear on the outside rescuing cats from trees.
She was more concerned with the effect the woman's emotions were having on her. “Meditation,” she began cautiously “has always proved beneficial to me in. . . controlling, my emotions. Perhaps it would aid you in mastering your emotions when things become, too much to handle.”
--
Katya was far too trusting, especially with people she had just met, but Madeline had something most people didn’t, and that was a connection to Sam. She had just assumed that Samuel knew why she and her father were training together every Saturday, and had probably heard a number of their conversations. Saturdays were their talking days, where everything from the week was hashed out. It generally ended in her being chastised, but it hardly made a difference. Katya would always be trusting, up until the day it would cost her more than what she could give.
If it hadn’t been for the curiosity in Madeline’s voice, Katya probably would have tried to backtrack as fast as possible. “Yes, though I believe vigilante is the more appropriate term because I do not wear a mask,” she replied, trusting her newfound friend in ways that would probably make Gideon want to smack her. “Meditation is helpful before sparring with my partner. He is very good at reading me, which generally means there is a kicking of my butt in my future,” she added with an affectionate sort of smile, despite the black cloud that threatened to blossom at the mention of Gideon.
---
She was honestly surprised when Katya actually confirmed her slip of the tongue. How had this woman not been found out already? Wasn’t everyone always trying to discover the identities of the Masks? Though if she didn’t even bother with a mask there seemed to be very little for her to conceal. “I see.” She really didn’t.
Madeline was again confused by the mix of emotions that came about the woman at the mention of her sparring partner. If there was anyone Madeline had ever met who needed to get a handle on their emotions it was Katya. Humming lightly she offered in a disinterested manner “You can join me if you like.” And with that she shut her eyes, and began to try and even out her breathing. “Azarath, metrion, zinthos. Azarath, metrion, zinthos. . .” she repeated softly, focusing on only the words and her breathing, trying to let the rest of the word fall away.
--
Katya smiled widely and took Madeline’s offer seriously. She crossed her legs studiously, just as Madeline was doing and closed her eyes. She listened to Madeline’s meditative words, but after a few minutes, Kat couldn’t quite concentrate on anything else but Madeline. She opened her eyes instead, and observed the girl with interest. The words she was repeating were unfamiliar to Katya, and she leaned forward as if the closeness could give her some type of clarity.
She let Madeline go on for another few minutes, but she finally couldn’t help herself anymore. “What do the words you are saying mean?” she asked, unaware of just how loud her voice was in comparison to the silence of the back room.
---
It didn’t take Madeline long to slip into an almost trance like state. Meditation came to her as easily as breathing now, though she had once had trouble finding her center. As often happened during her meditation she began to float just slightly off the ground, not very noticeable unless one was looking for it, but she was floating all the same. So when Katya asked her question it not only broke her out of her trance but also broke her unconscious concentration on her powers. Though it wasn’t much of a fall, it was still painful as she landed badly on her tailbone. She glared at Katya, a scowl on her lips. “Will you please be quiet!” Somehow even with the please it didn’t sound particularly polite.
It took her a moment to actually figure out what it was Katya had said when she broke the silence, but when she had she sighed. Madeline couldn’t actually remember what the words meant. They were part of some little rhyme her mother used to sing to her when she had trouble sleeping. She wasn’t sure if she had them right anymore, but when she’d first begun learning to meditate Sam had told her she need something to focus on, something to center her. Those words had been the first thing she could think of, the words that would help sooth her mind to sleep. “They are just. . . something from my childhood. They mean nothing.” Nothing she knew at least. Perhaps she’d known once, or maybe they had always been nothing more than nonsense words but that didn’t matter now. She had given them a meaning of her own: peace control, safety.
--
Katya pulled back abruptly, surprised by the tone Madeline used. She wasn’t put off for long though, smiling once more. Whatever had Madeline so uptight must be worth a lot of trouble, stress-wise. “One’s childhood is always always important. It defines us, just as much as our nature might. I am sure that, although they might not mean anything particular, they clearly hold meaning to you,” she replied amicably.
She sat a bit straighter, squaring her shoulders, and said quietly, “I am sorry for disrupting you however. I will try to be silent.” The apology was heartfelt, though Katya was never one for quiet she would do her best to be quiet for Madeline’s sake.
---
Katya’s comment hit a little to close to home, and not in a good way. ‘Our natures. . .’ she thought morosely, remember just the kind of gene pool she came from. What exactly was her nature, she wondered, as the child of an unwilling union? Looking away Madeline answered after a moment. “Yes, they. . . hold a meaning for me.” The admission was awkward at best, as Madeline usually was whenever she had to speak sincerely. She wasn’t even sure why she’d made such an admission, but preferred not to think about it. Instead pushing the thought to the back of her mind.
“Thank you.” she replied to Katya’s apology. Feeling a a bit out of sorts Madeline once again tried to turn her concentration to her meditation. “Azarath, metrion, zinthos. Azarathm metrion, zinthos.” Madeline was concentrating harder than she usually did on her meditation, pushing all thoughts of her birth to the back of her mind. However her focus had a strange side effect, while usually Madeline unconsciously floated just a tiny bit above the ground she was currently floating a good six inches above the ground without even realizing it. “Azareth, metrion, zinthos.”
--
Katya hardly noticed the awkwardness of Madeline’s admission. She had a number of problems, but it was clear that whatever was bothering her new found friend had been a source of stress for a while now. Perhaps meditating was her way of working through her problems. With a small shrug, Kat closed her eyes again. She let Madeline’s words wash over her, and soon she didn’t have to try quite so hard to keep her eyes closed. Her breathing evened out, and she drifted, though only for a moment. Her head dropped down, enough to give her a jolt to force her eyes open.
The first thing she focused on was that Madeline was floating. Off the ground. Before she could even think of what she was doing, Katya flung out both her arms and pushed down on Maddy’s knees, doing her very best to get the girl back on the ground before she hurt herself.
---
“Ack!” Madeline cried out as she felt her knees being pushed downward, breaking her concentration and sending her tumbling backwards. “Oomph.” As if hitting her head on the floor and being sprawled out on the ground was not enough the sudden lose of resistance in her pushing brough Kat down with her, and she landed directly on Madeline, knocking the wind out of her. “W-what is wrong with you?!” Madeline cried out once she finally got her breath back, though the demand was still broken by a cough. Her anger got the best of her for just a moment, and Madeline felt her control slip. Not far from them a water bottle exploded.
‘Perfect’ the girl thought bitterly, as she turned to glare at the red head. ‘absolutely perfect’ This was not the kind of start to the weekend she had been hoping for.
--
Katya realized her mistake just as soon as she realized Madeline was falling backwards, and while she tried to pull back, it only served to send her toppling forward herself. She winced at Madeline’s angry cry and pushed herself up, offering a hand to help the raven haired girl into an upright position. “I am very sorry. Really. You were...floating! I thought you were going to hurt yourself,” she replied, earnestly at first, and then her tone slipped into something more dejected and upset.
The water bottle exploding startled her, and Kat turned wide eyed back to Madeline. “Did you do that? Making the water bottle explode?” she asked, with just a touch of awe and wonder in her voice. “How did you do that? Can you do it again?” Excitement filled her tone, easily replacing the sadness that had been there just moments before.
---
“Oh yes, because your efforts obviously prevented that from happening.” the sarcasm came as easily to Madeline as breathing, and it put her back on far more comfortable ground. This was who she was. She was cold, and sarcastic and people did not like her. Pretty soon the red head wouldn’t either, and she was fine with that. She didn’t even know why she’d tried to help her in the first place. The exploding water bottle did nothing to improve her mood, it always put her on edge when her powers lashed out like that. “Yes I did that.” she snapped. “That is what happens when I lose control, that is why I meditate, and that is something I have no desire to do again.” Her angry rant was punctuated by a loud explosion that made Madeline try very hard to remember why she’d thought getting out of bed this morning was a good idea.
--
Very slowly, Katya tried to inch away from Madeline. The girl was pretty scary when she wanted to be. Her powers were really fascinating to Kat though, and she couldn’t just let it go. “But your powers are a gift! Think of all the good you could do by directing your emotions! You do not have to hide them away all the time. It is unhealthy!” It didn’t dawn on her that criticizing Madeline might be a bad idea, but she wasn’t intentionally criticizing. She was just offering an alternative that she felt the other girl had over looked. “Our powers, they are similar! I can control mine, therefore, you can control yours!” The optimism was overflowing, waiting to be squashed.
---
Madeline thought of a little girl scared, and confused in an unknown city as the world exploded around her; oh yes her powers were certainly a gift. “I hide nothing.” she spat as she glared at Katya. How dare she?! How dare this naive little girl act as if she knew anything about her, or her powers. Madeline took a deep breath, trying to restore her calm and find her center so that her powers did not lash out once more. “I do not need to embrace my emotions to control my powers, my emotions do nothing but destroy. I control my emotions, I control my powers, and there is nothing you can teach me about that.”
As if to prove her point Madeline turned to the puddle of water that had formed when the bottle had exploded and concentrated. “Azarath, metrion, zinthos!” All her attention, all her focus was on the water. Liquids were among the most difficult of substances to move with her telekinesis because of their fluid nature. They were meant to be moving, and rarely did the substance wish to stay together where she wanted it too. But Madeline was determined to show this girl exactly how much control she had. The water began to lift into the air moving together to form a ball. Slowly Madeline moved the ball of water so that it was over a bucket kept in the corner of the room (she considered for a moment throwing it in Kat’s face but decided against it, no matter how satisfying it might be.) Once there she let her concentration drop, and the water fall into the bucket.
The floor where the water had been was still wet, but the puddle was now gone. Madeline tried her best not to show just how much work that had taken her. She hated moving liquids in something other than a solid container, but when her pride was on the line Madeline was willing to go the extra mile.
--
Her display had Kat gaping at her like a fish. “That was very impressive,” she informed the girl, though she was already up and walking toward where the puddle had been just minutes before. She knelt next to the area and pressed her fingers against the damp carpet. Very impressive, and it did seem like it took a good amount of control to have it done. Katya, of course, focused more on the determined look in Maddy’s eyes. “You are very powerful, and your control is very good,” she commented, taking her seat across from the girl again.
“Have you ever considered becoming a vigilante?” she asked, tone completely serious. With an ability like hers, Madeline could help a great number of people. If she were working with someone, say Kat for example, they could do more good together than they could apart. It was simply just how Kat saw things. “You would bring good to the city!” What other reason could Madeline even need.
---
She felt a moment of almost vindictive, pride as she watched Katya gape at her. It quickly turned to confusion though, as Katya asked her if she had ever thought of becoming a vigilante. Her? Was she serious, Madeline wondered in shock. She certainly looked serious, but she couldn’t be. Weren’t vigilantes suppose to be like, do-gooders who believed in good, and people, and all that garbage? That was not Madeline. Madeline hated people, loathed people. She was mean, and sarcastic, and people hated her back. No she was not cut out for being a hero of all things. (She studiously ignored any thought of the city’s most high profile vigilante, the Batman, and how he and many others completely contradicted this view point. She was trying to make a point damn it.)
“You can’t be serious.” Madeline finally uttered, stating her thoughts aloud. ”You would bring good to this city!” God how did someone this idealistic even exist? And she certainly had Madeline pegged wrong. Madeline couldn’t bring good to anyone, not herself, and certainly not to this city. “I am not hero material.”
--
Katya was perfectly serious, and her expression and body language conveyed that. “Why not? This city needs more good in it. There are criminals that wander the streets, mugging innocent people! There are drunks and drug addicts, and men who use force on women without cause! Not that they should be using force on women anyway, of course.” The first part was quite vehement, but the last was more for clarification purposes than convincing purposes.
“Of course you are material for heroes! You are a good person! Samuel would not let you in the back room with me if he did not trust you, therefore I trust you! It is all very simple.” Katya was confused as to how the girl couldn’t see herself as a vigilante.
---
Madeline was more than prepared to ignore whatever inane argument Katya tried to use to convince her to become a vigilante, but despite herself she still froze at the mention of men who used force on women. She thought of her mother; her mother who had needed to check all the locks three times before she could go to sleep at night, who never liked to be out past dark if she could help it. Her mother who could barely bring herself to touch her own daughter most days. Madeline turned away from Katya, her bangs shadowing her eyes in an attempt to hide the emotions she could hide from her face, but never her eyes.
“Sam,” she began trying to keep her voice level but not quite succeeding. “is a good man who wouldn’t leave a lost child to the streets. It has nothing to do with whether or not I’m a good person.” And with that Madeline tried to flee. She didn’t want to listen to this anymore. She didn’t want to listen to her idealistic ramblings, not when Katya knew about her or who she was.
After all, how could the child of a monster bring anything but pain to this city?
--
Katya had been expecting another argument, and a retort was just on the tip of her tongue. She was surprised by the girl’s reaction, turning away and replying in a voice that was less than steady. “It has everything to-” Katya stopped, rising to her feet to chase after the girl.
“Madeline, stop,” she said, as her hand closed around the other girl’s. “It has everything to do with who you are. Samuel would not leave a child, this is true, but he would also not tolerate anything but goodness in a person he admits to the Dojo.” Her words were soothing, comforting, and before she could really stop herself, Katya had her arms wrapped around the other woman in a hug.
---
Stiffening at the contact, Madeline had no idea how to react to being hugged. She had never been one for physical contact, and the few hugs she had received over the years had been from Sam. Even those were rare though, as he knew how uncomfortable they tended to make her. To be hugged by a near stranger was, jarring at best. An explosion from off in the corner (she couldn’t remember the last time she’d lost control this many times in such a short period) showed just how much the hug had thrown her off balance. “Do not touch me!” she cried out pushing Katya away. There was anger in her voice but there was also an under current of something else entirely. There was fear in her voice. She refused to admit she was afraid, though some small part of her knew it to be true. Madeline was afraid of someone trying to get close to her, of someone believing in her, because it could only end badly. Katya would see just how wrong she was about her, and she would lose her carefully maintained control. No she had to keep this woman at an arm’s length. Hugs were not an arm’s length away.
Free from Katya’s hold Madeline fled once more, and managed to get out of the backroom. In the main area Madeline was able to use her intimate knowledge of the building to escape, and once she was back safe in her apartment she swore to avoid the Dojo for a good while, and Saturdays even longer after that. And though Madeline tried to push the encounter from her mind she could not forget Katya’s words or her suggestion.