Who: Roger and Katya What: Katya tells him Gideon is her dad When: Monday night Where: Roger's apartment Rating: pretty mild I don't think Roger even swears
Katya needed to talk to Roger. After their conversation last week, her subsequent conversation with Gideon, and then just the week itself, Katya needed clarity. Roger had always been patient with her, and honest as well. She was most afraid of revealing her connection to the hitman, concerned not only about Roger’s reaction, but also about Gideon’s when he found out. She had promised not to tell anyone, and she had done really well so far. She just needed someone who knew the situation, and if she were really honest with herself? Katya hated the lies.
With that in mind, Katya baked a tray of warm, gooey sugar cookies and knocked on Roger’s door. She was dressed in denim shorts and a purple tank top, her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. She had literally just finished baking the cookies, so there was some flour still evident on her shirt and her body, though Katya hardly noticed. She was far too focused on the task at hand.
Roger was in the middle of repairing and updating his utility belt when there was a knock on the door. Reluctant to leave his work station, he waited a moment before giving a small sigh and rising to his feet. He wasn’t completely surprised to see Katya at his door and gave her a smile before an excited glance down at the cookies. He was starving and snacks always seemed like a good idea.
“Hey Kat, what’s going on?” People usually brought him food either because it was some sort of special day or they were sorry about something. She had a determined look on her face that seemed to suggest it was none of the above. Roger’s expression turned to something puzzled and he opened the door wider so she could come inside.
She was glad that he was home, though it hadn’t crossed her mind that he wouldn’t be. She offered him a small smile as she stepped inside as she replied, “I have not been as truthful with you as I should be. I wish to change that.” The words were sincere, and it was clear that it didn’t quite sit right with her that she was keeping secrets from him. Roger was the most trustworthy person she knew, and he was a role model and mentor for her. It wasn’t right that he didn’t know.
Katya walked in further and set the tray on an empty space on the counter top, lingering for a moment before turning to face him. “That man, the hitman you warned me of. I was not honest with you about how I know him. He found me, here in Seattle. He helped me find the paintball field we practiced at. He fixed my computer so that someone like Mockingbird could not break my computer again. We train at the Dojo together every Saturday.” She paused, wrapping her arms around herself. “He is my Отец, my father.”
Roger went for the cookies only seconds after she set them down, stuffing one in his face like a five year old when his mom wasn’t looking. Katya’s news made complete sense, considering how upset she was when he warned her about Gideon. He had actually meant to follow it up that week, so it was convenient she was willing to give up the information for free.
“Did you tell him that you know what he does for a living?” Roger asked between bites and then went for another cookie. It didn’t matter to him if Gideon bought her a fucking mansion, the truth of the matter was that he killed and she needed to be wary of that.
Katya had been expecting a lot of things, but the question he posed wasn't what she had in mind for his initial response. "Yes," she replied, a curious lilt in her voice as she relaxed her arms and helped herself to a cookie. "He did not deny it. I asked him if he would stop, and he said he would not. He suggested it would be best to no longer be connected also." It was obvious by her tone that she was sad about that, but she did her best to move forward.
"I am sorry for not being honest with you," Katya apologized sincerely, reaching her hand to his. "It was wrong of me to not explain. You have been a wonderful friend to me, and you deserve the truth from me. I will not lie to you again." Her words were firm and there was a sparkle of determination in her eyes as she smiled warmly at him.
“So you know he’s a hitman and he agrees that it would be a bad idea to stay too closely associated with him, yet you stand by him?” Roger asked plainly with true curiosity. He didn’t know how he would react if one of his parents came back from the dead as a hired killer, but Roger would have greatly considered cutting off ties completely or putting them in jail.
“I understand the need for family, don’t get me wrong. But, you have to ask yourself where your morality line is and how far back you’re planning to push it.” He finished the second cookie and didn’t go for another. His morality line was harder to move than the Matterhorn, but he knew other people didn’t go through the same experiences he did.
“Family is very important to me, Roger, but I do not support him in his occupation choice. He is wrong in what he does. But, there are times when he is different. She paused, trying to find an appropriate example. "Do you remember the blackout?” She waited for his reply before continuing, “I was attacked that morning. Six men surrounded me as I was returning home from the grocery store. I was beaten very badly. He bandaged me and checked for further injury. I left him with a mild concussion and walked up here. I sat in front of your door all night. When I woke up, you still had not returned, so I went home.” She removed her hand from his and sighed. “After, he found the leader of the ring and injured him in return, which I am not approving of, but he did not kill the man because he knew I would not want that."
She looked up at him imploringly, hoping he could understand. “He cannot be all bad, Roger. There is a part of him inside me, and I am not bad, despite what some of the other masks may think.”
“Of course he’s not all bad. He doesn’t kill because he gets some sick thrill out of it, he does it because he’s good at it.” Roger had encountered guys like Gideon before, this sort of hitman mindset was not new to him or even special. “And, I assured him that I’m going to put him out of business before turning him in. But, the second he gives me a reason to go after him, I will. And, you should feel the same way. Family or not.”
Katya was at a loss. She knew her duty as a vigilante was to be objective and stop the Bad in the world. She did her part, on her own, in the streets. She had saved a number of people in the area, and a good bit of her success was in part because of the things Gideon had taught her. “I know that he deserves that, has earned his time in jail because of what he does, and I would support you in that. But it does not stop the ache I feel in my heart now, because of him.” Her voice was thick, recalling their fight in the cafe. “I do not know how to fix it, and I do not wish for it to destroy me, but I do not know how.” There was an unspoken ‘I cannot be like you’ in there somewhere, but she couldn’t find her voice to say it.
Roger furrowed his brow and looked away from her. “I know it’s not easy.” He had the benefit of tragedy to teach him how to behave and he wouldn’t wish it on anyone. “Don’t worry about trying to fix it. You obviously are going to stick by your father and I doubt he’s trying to make you the next in line of his business.” That Roger didn’t know for sure, but it was the best he could do to sound comforting. A moment of reflection passed before he added simply, “I don’t have parents, so I don’t know how I’d act in the situation, either.”
She was quiet for a few minutes, before she found her voice again to respond. “I have not spoken to him since the day after you came to my apartment. I have not seen him. It is as if he does not exist anymore and it hurts, and I do not wish it to hurt anymore. I cannot sleep, I cannot focus.” She shook her head. “No, I could not be like him. Not like that. There are still a few people I have not angered so much that they would not stop me before then.”
She didn’t know the story about his parents, didn’t even know that he didn’t have any. “I am sorry that you did not experience the joy they bring,” Katya replied sincerely, offering him what comfort she could from the warmth of her voice. “But it is good to know that I am not alone. That is...what I fear the most.” An admission spoken quietly, eyes cast down to her hands.
Roger knew first hand what it felt like to be alone after his two greatest allies left New York and that was another experience he wouldn’t wish on anyone. “Do what you think is right. What makes you happy.” That was the only advice he could give to her. Katya was a sweet girl who didn’t take the same sort of comfort in constantly trying to bring justice to Seattle as he did. Roger knew he wasn’t like most people, not even like a lot of the vigilantes, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try to understand where they were coming from.
The last time she had felt anything remotely like this had been when Roger left New York and there was no one to turn to when the letters started appearing. That had been terrifying, enough to drive her from a city she had considered home. She had found Roger again though, by accident of all things, but he was there again, and that had to mean something. She stood then, from her perch on the couch and walked back over to him.
“There are few things in this life that make me truly happy,” she replied, taking a cookie from the tray. “Baking is one of those things,” she explained, taking a bite of the sugar cookie with a smile, “and you are another.” Her smile turned from playful to warm as she reached out to hug him. “Thank you.”
He hugged her back and nodded. “You can bake for me any time.” Roger was glad to see her smile and returned it with ease. There was no reason for someone so optimistic and trusting of other people to be so worried, but sometimes growing up forced people into situations they didn’t want to be in. Roger held her elbows and then let her go. “Let me know if you need help from either me or Nightwing.”
She laughed a bit at that. “You might regret that,” she teased, knowing full well that some of her more adventurous baking attempts tended to turn out burnt half the time. She felt a bit better, though whether it was because she was no longer hiding such a big part of her life from him or because he was still speaking with her, she wasn’t sure. “I will,” she replied. “Perhaps a night free of heavy talk. I can teach you to make meringue cookies,” she offered, already smiling at the thought of teaching Roger to make something so delicate.
“Sure.” He smirked at her and nodded. “That sounds nice.” Roger barely had time for himself and perhaps spending time with a friend would ease her mind more than just a poorly worded pep talk. Granted, she would have been the second woman who got him to bake, but he figured she just liked a challenge. The best thing Roger could cook was reheated Chinese food.
“I will let you know which days I have off of work this week then,” she replied, stepping away from him and moving to walk around him. “Thank you, again. I owe you a great deal in this life, and perhaps the next as well.” They were honest words, and how she truly felt. Roger was always different from everyone else, and she valued their relationship a great deal. Perhaps more so than most of the other relationships she had. She leaned in again, pressing a kiss to his cheek this time. “Good night, and be safe.” A smile, then she disappeared into the hallway, taking the stairs slowly back to her apartment.