InsaneJournal

Who: Roger and Gwen
What: Roger visits the bunker to watch over Gwen cause she's looney tunes.
Where: the bunker!
When: Tuesdayish
Warnings: Typical Roger swearing warning!



The bunker was one of the reminders of the lengths Batman would go to keep his secrets safe. Nightwing couldn’t be surprised at this point, even if Batman constructed a space station that orbited the earth, but it wasn’t something he had to face very often. The blue light of his (relatively) new motorcycle bounced off the apple trees that sat on top of the bunker as it roared through towards an opening. Nightwing brought the cycle to a halt as his boots hit the soggy earth. He let himself find value in this more natural setting than deep in the city before adjusting his mask and heading down into the bunker.

The ancient gray walls and cold bareness of the interior made him move faster to where Gwen was staying. Being held? Hell, he didn’t want to think about that kind of specifics. He was told she was awake, maybe even moving around, but there was a looming grimness about her mental condition. Nightwing had no doubt she’d be back to normal soon, but it was always his job to stay optimistic. He couldn’t shake that small fear she’d always be different. Distant.

Nightwing stepped slowly, hesitantly, towards her cell and knocked the side of the wall to get her attention. He was in full Nighwing gear after a night of being up to usual vigilante work and preferred not to change out if he was going to drive all the way out to a Bat-bunker. “Hey.” He didn’t know what to expect, but there was always a sort of kindness in his voice. “I’m gunna watch you for a bit while he’s out.”

She had been laying silently on the bed, listening to the sound of the clock ticking the seconds away, hand wrapping around the empty restraints. She had done as Batman had asked and she appreciated the gesture of trust that he had given her, leaving her to use her own strength of will to stay up. The door closing shut solid behind him had curbed some of her frantic flight response, and it was only later when sheer boredom had kicked in that she checked to see if there was any weakpoint she could exploit. There was none to be found, but she knew that even as she approached it.

She had retreated to the bed and had almost dozed off when she heard the sounds of someone approaching. She immediately jumped off it and into a ready position, her slightly mussed red hair and short black party dress not taking away from the dangerous edge that was radiating from her. She expected Batman once more, even hoped for him. But she still prepared herself just in case it was someone new, someone she could perhaps overpower, so she could leave this place.

It was a different masked man who entered altogether, and though she didn’t recognize his suit, there was something about him, his profile, his gait, that caught her attention. She had still been ready to strike when she suddenly faltered, the sound of his voice striking a familiar chord stronger than the facial features she almost recognized. She pulled her hand back and stared at him warily. “Who are you?”

He wasn’t expecting that. Leaning on the nearby wall casually, he crossed his arms thoughtfully and responded as flatly as he could. “Nightwing.” There was a tinge of hurt in his voice, but it was followed by a realization that things were just as bad as Batman made them out to be. If the Bat didn’t want him around, there was usually a good reason. Still, Nightwing was a persistent man. “Roger.” He tried without expecting that much. Nightwing reached behind his head and took the face shield off and stuffed it in his pocket. There was a moment of silence before his head suddenly jerked up in surprise.

“Gwen, you’re walking holy shit!” Roger fought back a smile. “I see why he locked you up.” A hollow chuckle that seemed to indicate he knew how dangerous she could be. Hell, even in the wheelchair he wouldn’t mess with her.

“Roger,” she said softly and something somewhere clicked back into place. Nightwing hadn’t been a name she recognized but Roger was, and the same went for the face behind the mask. She took a step closer and get a better look at him, and let that old familiar feeling lead her to new discoveries. But his next reaction had her immediately pulling back with the most confused expression she had yet.

“...I didn’t before?” No one had mentioned that before. She looked down at her legs, quickly turning her right foot with ease. She and Stephen had worked a long time on strengthening, but for the life of her she couldn’t remember why she had needed it in the first place. She supposed this was it. She lifted her head again to search his face and let her observation continue. “I know you, somehow.”

“Yes, you do.” Roger smirked and stepped closer to her. He knew there should be a level of distance between them, but his confidence tended to get the better of him. “We worked together back in New York. We used to be cops, but you got shot and I turned into a drunk.” He seemed more upset about her getting hurt than him spiralling into a cliche, drunk depression. “Now I’m a vigilante with Batman. You were in a wheelchair, so you helped us with information and surveillance. We’re friends.”

He twisted his torso a little to look through his utility belt before pulling out a cheap, plastic badge with chipped gold paint. “I want you to have something.” Roger held it between his fingers to show her and then let it sit in the palm of his hand for her to take. “I used to always keep a junior NYPD badge in my wallet for kids. Since I ended up in Seattle I didn’t have much use for it.” He extended his hand towards her. “Take it. I know it’s silly, but maybe it’ll help.”

She had exact opposite reaction to the events he spoke of, curious about this shooting incident but quickly pushing it aside to frown at the knowledge of him turning to a drunkard. From the way her lips pursued together, it was clear she would’ve said something if he hadn’t continued on. She hesitated for a half second when he offered her the badge but only half.

“Thank you,” she said softly as she stared at it, gentle fingers running over the plastic grooves and taking in the chipped paint. Her mind’s eye flashed back to a time when she held a real badge, vague memories of places and memories when they both had one of their own. Her fingers curled around it as she recalled the shooting that he spoke of and her legs wobbled unsteadily under her for a moment. She had to square her feet again and her fist clenched the badge for several moments before she let out a ragged exhale and softened her grip, finally picking up the badge and holding it close. “And so now you’re wearing a mask too?”

Roger didn’t respond for a moment, watching her reaction with a certain amount of care. He didn’t want to push her. She was already mentally fragile, the last thing Gwen needed was for him to come in here and remind her of all the shit she had to go through in her past. He wanted to make her want to be the Gwen he knew. “Yeah.” He looked at the sloppy, bright blue line painted down one of his dark navy sleeves, his gaze moving over the V-shape on his chest that was supposed to signify a bird. The casualness of it suited him. “I couldn’t go back to being a cop. In New York the whole department was corrupt save you, your dad and maybe a handful of cops. Here there’s mooks with powers that I couldn’t stop within the law.”

He smirked. “Plus I look really good in dark blue.”

She took in his words, each bit of information shedding light on older memories, ones that were harder to hide under the shroud Bishop left in her mind. The department back at in Musings, her dad, it started to trickle back to her slowly. Her eyes had followed path as his and she took in his outfit with a careful eye. When she lifted her gaze she saw his smirk, and mirrored it with an appreciative look and a smirk of her own. “That you do.”

She let that hang in the air for a beat longer before she pressed back to another point he made earlier. “And we’re… friends?” The word was said with a small amount of hesitance, not quite denying the title, not quite agreeing with it either. “And... you’ll let me leave?”

His eyes narrowed. He knew that tone. It was one he heard a thousand times in holding cells back in New York. “Do you really think you’re in any condition to leave?” Roger’s voice nearly turned authoritative and stern. “You can’t even remember me, what makes you think you’d be able to get home?” Roger would be willing to help her ease into her old life,but he had a feeling the Bat had her locked up for a reason. Now he was silently cursing himself for not squeezing information out of the rest of them. He wasn’t even there when she was found. Didn’t know how her legs got to be working again. Going in blind like this wasn’t his style, but he was so anxious to see her that he thought details could wait.

Perhaps someone else would’ve have reared back at his look and at his tone, but she just took another step forward. The fight that raced up her spine felt as familiar as his smirk and at the back of her mind she wondered how often they were like this, just as her mind answered her own question with a resounding often enough.

“I don’t need to go home,” though there was a flash of uncertainty for even she wasn’t sure where home was. “I just need to go back to the garden. I was ordered to meet him. I have to go.”

“You don’t have to do that anymore, Gwen. You’re safe.” Roger didn’t know who it was that she wanted to meet, but he could surmise it was the person responsible for the mockingbird ordeal. “What are you going to do when you show up there and he’s gone? Sit and wait? It’s over.” He took another hesitant step towards her and lightly gripped her shoulders with his hands. “Don’t you want to go back to how it was before?” Roger whispered, not sure if he believed she would himself. And, what did that even mean? Would anyone trust her as Oracle after she was forced to threaten their loved ones? He tried not to show himself falter, but it barely snuck through in the way his eyes moved away from her face for just a second.

It sounded so ridiculous when he said and it made her so angry because she knew it was true. She knew if she escaped here she would just sit and wait for someone who would never come, and she knew she’d wait as long as she could. She knew that it was completely insane and yet her body told her to do it anyway, to follow commands no matter what the cost, to herself or to anyone. That was always how it had been with Bishop and the shoulders under his hands shook as she truly started to worry it would always be like this.

“I don’t even know what I can go back to!” she whispered back harshly, an flicker of anguish in her eyes to match his worry. “There are some things that are coming to me. Of the girl - my daughter, or of that Batman, or of you and when you talk they just open up.” Her hands uncurled helplessly in demonstration. “They fill in some empty spaces but apparently there’s more. I think back to that maze and there were so many people that I didn’t know. The man who sent me there is your enemy and he fixed me and broke me all at once. And you’re all telling me to fight and I am. All because you ask and because you’re important to me - that much I do know. But I don’t even know what I’m looking for or what I’m trying to get back to.”

“It’s not going to happen right away, you just got to trust us.” Roger knew he was asking a lot and she was handling it a lot better than he probably would. “You’re strong, Gwen. The strongest. You, me and Batman have been working together for a long time for a good reason. You can get out of this.” There was worry in his eyes, but mixed with the sort of determination he was known for. “I can’t go back to how it was alone and I ain’t gunna let it happen to you either.” Even if she was stuck like this forever, he wasn’t going to let her run off. If Max was right about all of them being some sort of makeshift family, it was his responsibility to keep her safe.

Roger rubbed her shoulder-blades with his thumb gently and then let her go. He wasn’t interested in overstepping boundaries. Not now, not ever. That was one thing Gwen always valued. And, while he’d always be there to push her in ideals and morals, that was far as he knew how to go.

She liked his determination, so easy to see from this close. It gave her something to hold on to, even if she wasn't feeling as strong as he clearly thought she should be. She liked him close too, though she hadn't known how much until he pulled away. Something like disappointment flashed across her face without her realizing and she looked away as she ran her thumb over the plastic badge in her hand.

"Can I actually go back?" she asked softly. "To…. to whatever it is that I had before? Go home? Wherever that is."

“Of course.” Roger nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “Once Bat thinks you’re ready, we’ll help you back into the life you had before. You don’t have to help the vigilantes anymore if you don’t want to, but I have a feeling you will once things start coming back.” He crossed his arms in though, head tipping down as if he were stuck in his own world for a second. It was Roger’s way of pondering, something he did ever since he was a kid. After a moment, he looked up. “When I get the chance, I could go to your place and pick up some stuff that might jog your memory. Pictures, mementos. Stuff like that.”

The thought of this Bat having to give his approval had her laughing softly. "Somehow, I don't think he'll be initialing my release papers anytime soon." It felt like a fair assessment to make, and felt like an even fairer thing to joke about. It was strange how being around these people made her slip back into something like her old ways, some of them more easily than others.

The hopeful energy around him was infectious and she found herself smiling back at him. "I'd like that." She wasn't sure if it would help but couldn't very well say no to him. "I mean, you don't have to. It sounds like you're busy man. Things to do. Worlds to save."

“Bat doesn’t like having you in here either.” Roger’s tone didn’t sound like she was wrong, however. Bat cared about her, sure, but he was also concerned about the safety of others. If she was being dishonest with them, it wouldn’t be hard to take all of them out for good. Roger didn’t want to believe it, but Bat would consider all the options. Still, he was going to try and make this process as quick as possible. He wasn’t sure if he could stand seeing Gwen in this state and locked up for very long.

When she tried to play off that he was busy with other things, he shook his head. “No. Listen.” He kept his eyes on hers before looking down at the floor. “I blamed myself for your kidnapping. Hell, I still do. You were gone for such a long time and I wasn’t even there to find you.” He finally looked up at her. “I was supposed to protect you and I failed. But, it’s not going to happen again. You’re my priority now whether you want to be or not.”

"No, he doesn't," she agreed softly. She knew that too from their last meeting, even if it was unsaid. They both wanted her back to her supposed old self and it was their disappointment that she didn't want to incur. They were the only ones she could remember and therefore, quite literally, they were everything to her. And she had a very distinct feeling that wasn't far off the mark.

When he looked down she took a step closer, not liking where this conversation was going. She smiled faintly at his promise, the seriousness of the moment the only reason it didn't shine so bright. "Listen." She lifted her face to lock eyes with him and get his absolute attention. "You didn't fail me." She didn't even have to know what happened for that to be true, but as the words were said the memory of it started open up. Understanding flickered across her face and though she frowned, it was clear it wasn't at him.

"You didn't know. You couldn't have known. Do you understand? This is all on me, not you. Not even in the slightest." She sounded firm when she started but as she continued on she wavered slightly, as did her voice. But she didn't look away from him. If nothing else, she needed him to know this.

He wanted to fight her on it. Roger had a looming guilt about this whole thing that kept him up at night. That made it hard to look her in the eyes. But, she wouldn’t let him avoid it. Part of him appreciated it, while another piece of him felt oddly scared. It was so much easier when he was called to do little things for the greater good, but when he was face to face with real responsibility involving someone he cared about, it was just frightening.

Still, there was something about her tone that suited her. Firm, but oddly comforting nevertheless. He smiled. “Just promise you’ll let me help you through this.” The smile turned into a rugged smirk. “Hell, maybe if you get sick of me being around you’ll remember why I drove you nuts.”

She had been ready toss him a solemn promise when the smirk came on. If there had been any lingering doubt of knowing him, it was completely gone when she saw that face. Not for the first time, and probably not for the last, she thought he wore it well. "I'm sorry. Is that supposed to make me want to say yes?" She rolled her eyes good naturally and laughed, her free hand coming up to nudge his chin gently. "Though I guess you're lucky you've got time on your side. I'm obviously not sick of you yet." She beamed back at him for a moment as she contemplated her next move, and then leaned in to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Roger," she said, softly and sincerely. She lingered for a moment as if to say something, do something, but pulled back before she completely overstepped her bounds.

Roger felt himself about to do something really stupid. Having her this close after weeks of searching and wondering about her safety made him delirious. But, he knew better than to take advantage of the situation. He was likely the first to be kind to her since they found her in the maze. Bat might have tried, in his way, but Roger was always much better at being personable. Plus, anyone could see that he cared for her. Once Gwen got her memory back, she’d remember that there were a whole lot of other people who did, too.

Still, he was happy. Comforted by the small token of affection she gave him and her laugh. “You got it, Red.” He grinned at her. When she moved back, he realized he was tilting his head down towards her and tried his best to straighted up without looking awkward. “You’re stuck with me until Bat gets back. Do you know how to play cards, or did you forget that, too?” He teased.

The mere mention of the Bat returning, of coming back from a place that was outside of these walls, had her glancing over Roger’s shoulder at the direction he came in from. His guard was down and though she had a feeling he could outmaneuver her normally, surprise might have been enough for her to make a break for it.

But she liked him, and his company, and leaving didn’t feel so right now that he was in the picture. She shook her head softly, turning on her heels and leading him back to the padded table and chairs that were the only other furniture in the room. “I remember how to beat you, does that count?”

His guard was so far down that he didn’t even notice her glance over his shoulder. Surely, she had to know that even if she managed to escape, he’d hunt her down before the Bat even knew she was gone. Gwen would have to hurt him to get what she wanted and he had hoped that was a blockade strong enough to keep her back. Roger unzipped his jacket and pulled a deck of cards out from the inside pocket. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.” He laughed, pulling the cards from their sleeve and moving to sit across from her. His fingers moved over the edges of the cards, finding what he believed to be the middle before he cut them and began to shuffle.