InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Kittehs!"

Sara Hawthorne -- Harry Potter (strikes_twice) wrote in musingslogs,
@ 2011-02-21 21:52:00

Entry tags:

harry potter, revolution man

Who: Connor, and Sara
What: Break downs
Where: Bathos 403
When: Saturday evening, after the confrontation with Joseph
Warnings: Talk about past creeping, and possibly the death of a minor

Sara wasn't sure how to feel as she stumbled down the Bathos hallway. She couldn't go home right now, not knowing that, that thing had been living in the same building all along, and especially not given what had happened in Hamartia just a few hours earlier. And Sara could still hardly believe it was real. Nothing felt real at the moment, and she needed something familiar to hold onto. Something real, something she knew. Finally reaching the right door she knocked with a little more force than was probably necessary.

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bullet_scrip
2011-02-22 03:44 am UTC (link)

Connor loved the internet. It was where he was able to buy cheap DVD sets for the sole purpose of destroying entire days. There were too many hours in a day, too much time to waste. He started his morning with a big breakfast - eggs, toast, bacon, and gin - and a bit of a workout, to keep himself in shape. He wasn't sure about all that "calories in, calories out" nonsense, but he was able to cut a clean figure without understanding it. So, clearly, it meant all that stuff was bullshit and he could eat cupcakes for dinner whenever he wanted.

Which, coincidentally, he was planning on. The vanilla confetti cupcakes were cooling on a cooling rack in the kitchen, not too long out of the oven, as he sank into his favorite chair and watched his seventh episode of CSI: Miami of the day. He snorted as the Who started playing just as David Caruso put on his sunglasses, taking a sip of his drink. Horatio was a beast.

Just as the credits ended, a loud knock sounded at the door. He almost choked on his drink as he looked up, eyes wide. Who the fuck would be coming around his place? He downed the rest of his drink quickly, gulping the fire down as he lurched out of his chair.

He approached the door, cautious, and opened it slowly. Peeking out into the hall, he saw Sara, face splitting in a grin. "Oi lass, I ent seen ya in a f'rever!" Just as he was about to continue, he paused. Something was wrong. Sara looked weird. "Is...everyfin' alright?"

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strikes_twice
2011-02-22 03:55 am UTC (link)

Sara couldn't speak, she knew the moment she did it would all become to much and she'd finally completely fall apart. All she could was bit her lip and shake her head. Hopefully he'd let her come inside without her having to ask. If she had to fall apart she didn't want to do it in the hallway.

Sara knew she looked awful. Her hair was a mess, and she was on the verge of crying again, eyes bright with tears. She felt like absolute shit, and nothing felt real or right and she didn't know what to do. Her entire world had just been turned upside down, and she didn't know how to handle it. Even if it was a good thing, even if she was free, she didn't know how to live without that fear anymore.

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	bullet_scrip 2011-02-22 04:07 am UTC (link)
	The girl looked like she was going to shatter if he breathed on her wrong. Eyes wide, Connor took a large step backwards, holding the door open for her. "Well come in, luv!" he said briskly, beckoning her inside. "C'mon, take a seat on me couch, you want sommuh..." He tried to think of acceptable food or drink he might have. "Water? Or juice?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

strikes_twice
2011-02-22 04:22 am UTC (link)

Walking into the apartment Sara rubbed her hands up and down her arms as if cold. "N-no thanks" she said chocked out a few tears slipping out. Curling in on herself as she sat down on the couch Sara didn't know how to start, or even what exactly she wanted to tell him, but she hadn't known where else to go. She didn't have many friends, and she was closer to Connor than probably anyone else she knew.

And suddenly things were pouring out. Things she'd never intended to tell anyone. She'd couldn't keep it bottled up any longer though. "I was kidnapped when I was fourteen," she said crying now. "by a man who'd been stalking me since I was eleven."

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bullet_scrip
2011-02-22 04:35 am UTC (link)

Though Connor was dense, he knew what people looked like when they were cold. As she sat down on the couch, he picked up a blanket from the floor near the TV, draping it over her without asking permission. Once the blanket was wrapped around her, he sat by her side, watching her intently. She looked like glass with a crack in it, and he wasn't sure when it was all going to splinter.

It started small. Just a few tears. And then there were words. The crying and the words meshed, and a few of the words seemed to be lost beneath all the tears. But he was able to catch the important parts - kidnapped, stalking, man. His eyes narrowed, though he caught himself when he realized it probably made him look very unfriendly. He shook his head, trying to wear a nicer expression, though it was hard when his mind was suddenly overtaken with thoughts of physical violence.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, coaxing her into a half-hug of sorts. "Oh, aye?" he said, unsure of what else he could say.

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strikes_twice
2011-02-22 04:45 am UTC (link)

Sara leaned into the half hug desperate for the physical contact. "My friend was there to and he tried to--" she sobbed, remembering how Matt had tried to fight them off, tried to save her. "and we got away b-but he, he didn't-- there was so much blood--" Breaking down into sobs she was almost incoherently sobbed out "Oh God Matt." She pulled the blanket around herself tighter. "I thought I'd gotten away. I ran and I ran and I thought I was safe. I thought I was safe here." She didn't know how much of what she said Connor was actually understanding or why she was even saying this much. She hadn't wanted anyone to know anything about her past but now she couldn't stop herself. The words were rushing out of her and she couldn't stop it.

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bullet_scrip
2011-02-22 04:52 am UTC (link)

In some weird way, Connor knew exactly what she was saying. He spoke trauma-ese, after fighting in four major wars. He knew what happened to the human brain when it broke into a million pieces, and he knew what it sounded like when those pieces began to fall apart. The details, who Matt was and who this kidnapper/stalker was, it didn't matter. Even though he wanted to lash out for no reason, he knew it wouldn't matter.

"Y'are safe here," he murmured into her hair, starting to very slowly rock them back and forth in a soothing, cradling sort of motion.

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strikes_twice
2011-02-22 05:00 am UTC (link)

"He found me." She whispher brokenly, the tears still coming but the sobs beginning to slow. "He found me, and he hurt someone, and I was going to trade. Her for me. I couldn't let anyone else die, I couldn't." She sounded desperate, and she was sobbing again, though not quite as hard as when she spoke of Matt. "And-and he's dead. He's dead, dead, dead." she probably sounded crazy, but she couldn't help it. He had become some larger than life monster in her mind and somehow the knowledge that he was dead and it was over shook her world more than anything else. In some sick way he had become a constant in her life. That fear and that looming threat, one of the few constants she'd had in the past five years, and now it was gone. And it was sick and twisted but it was what her life had become and now it was being flipped upside down and around and around and she didn't know what to do. She was trembling like a leaf, and crying into Connor's embrace, as she waited for her world to stop spinning.

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bullet_scrip
2011-02-22 05:08 am UTC (link)

As the story came out in broken sobs, Connor frowned. A part of him was furious that he hadn't found out about this until now, when she was falling apart in front of him. But someone had to pick up the pieces. He was pretty shit with puzzles, but maybe if he tried really hard, he'd be able to put this one back together. He could borrow glue from Gid, and then she could have one of the cupcakes he'd just made.

"Dead men stay pretty fookin' quiet, love," he whispered, rubbing her back gingerly as he rocked them back and forth with care.

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strikes_twice
2011-02-22 05:17 am UTC (link)

"I always thought it'd be me." she admitted hollowly. "I knew it would end with one of us dead, but I always thought it'd be me." and that was the big thing wasn't it. She'd never expected to have to live without the fear and the paranoia, and she didn't know how to. Had never even imagined how.

She didn't know how good Connor was with puzzles but he seemed to be doing a better job than he thought he could. Just having someone there, familiar, and real was doing more for her than words could say. She was falling apart but right now at least he was holding her together, and maybe the world could go on. Maybe she'd finally be able to live, maybe she'd finally be able to really trust again now that she could look a man in the eye and know that this wasn't him. That this wasn't the day. That she was stronger than she'd ever given herself credit for.

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bullet_scrip
2011-02-22 06:00 am UTC (link)

He knew what that was like. Almost. He knew what it was like to expect someone to die, but maybe he wasn't sure on that whole "it would be me" thing. Connor knew he was going to live forever, Musings or no Musings. No one was going to kill him. No one had the guts. And clearly, this "stalker" guy was just another fake like all the other ones. Sara should be able to see that.

"You're talkin' nonsense, luv," he murmured into her hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head as he pulled her closer, hugging her tightly. "You're too tough to fookin' die like that."

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strikes_twice
2011-02-22 06:23 am UTC (link)

Leaning into the touch Sara wasn't sure to say to that. It was a strangely warm feeling to know that Connor had that kind of confidence in her. And though she didn't acknowledge it consciously some part of her, the same part of her that had made her stand up to Voldemort, accepted that maybe she'd be okay. Maybe she was strong enough to go on after all this. "Thank you." she whispered the last few tears leaving her. Sara had cried herself out, and now she was tired. It had been a long day, and she was exhausted, physically and emotionally. She didn't mean to fall asleep, only meaning to blink as her unusually heavy eyelids slid shut, but they didn't open after that. And for once Sara fell asleep feeling completely safe, wrapped up in her friend's arms. She wouldn't dream of Matt tonight.

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bullet_scrip
2011-02-22 06:29 am UTC (link)

The thanks brought a thin, cracked smile to Connor's face. He didn't respond verbally, just ruffled her hair with calloused fingers. He wasn't sure why, but he knew he was right. She was tougher than this. She was strong enough. Maybe it was wishful thinking. Maybe he thought if she was resilient enough, it'd bring Lucy back for a minute. Or maybe he just, genuinely, thought this little broken puzzle-girl could mend herself and take another step some day. It was all jumbled up in his head, and he didn't quite like trying to sort through the pieces.

By the time he realized where his mind was taking him, Connor felt the full, dead weight of a sleeping person against his chest. With a dry chuckle, he settled back against the couch, letting her sleep long enough to guarantee that she wasn't waking up again. Once he felt his own eyelids grow heavy, he carefully stood, cradling her against his chest as if she were made of glass. The blanket came with them as he carried her to his bedroom, gently laying her on the bed. He draped the blanket over her, tucking the edges under her body until she looked all bundled up and warm. With a tired smile, he turned off the light and shut the door.

She needed a good night's rest.

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