Isobel Hughes ➤ Rapunzel (sanslumieres) wrote in musingslogs, @ 2011-02-21 21:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | flynn rider, rapunzel |
Who: Ray and Isobel
What: A late-night rendezvous
Where: Bathos 605
When: after the carnival but before Isobel’s 2nd hospital visit (we’re so vague)
Warnings: Emotional kids are emotional
It was late, too late for most people to just drop by, but Isobel was pretty sure she didn’t fall into the ‘most people’ category. But with her and Eli’s conversation weighing on her, she was quite aware that it was time to do something, to get some things out into the air. Secrets weren’t good, and though she wasn’t particularly hiding it from Ray, it wasn’t good to keep it from him either, no matter what the outcome.
So there she was, nearly midnight, still dressed in her uniform from the restaurant, a wool coat tossed over top of it, rapping on Ray’s door with one hand and stepping back to wait for him to answer.
----
Ray hadn’t been doing much of anything for the past couple of weeks. Ever since the Reavers, he had been working and brooding alternately, with the occasional time spent with Isobel. Spending time with her had gotten harder and harder as the weeks passed, unable to keep up the facade of happy boyfriend with her for long periods of time. Ever since that night with the gun, the Bat. It had been rough, and he tried not to think about it as much as he could.
Sleep was difficult to come by the past few weeks too, which added to his stress. Ray had taken to sitting on the couch with a bottle of whatever liquor he had and just drank until he drifted out of consciousness. As a result, he was about a quarter of the way through his nightly bottle when a knock sounded at his door. He heaved himself up off the couch and went to the door, dressed only in a wifebeater and jeans. He opened the door, expecting to tell off the person on the other side. Instead, he saw Isobel and he gave her a tired smile. “Hey.”
-----
There was no mistaking the flush of his cheeks or the source of it when Ray opened the door, and the smell of liquor in the air made her smile faintly. “Hey you,” she said quietly, giving him a small smile of her own before she got up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. “What’s up?” As she dropped back down, her concern was evident, already peeling herself out of her coat and moving into his apartment uninvited, laying her coat on a nearby chair, blond hair spilling over her shoulders.
There was a pause then, and her expression grew more and more somber. “Ray? Did something happen?”
----
He smiled as she pressed a kiss against his cheek and turned to watch her as she walked inside his apartment in such a familiar manner. Ray closed the door behind her softly and rested his back against it, a faint smile still playing on his lips. Her concern was obvious, and he found it endearing. He was quiet for a few moments as he contemplated how to answer her. It wasn’t reasonable to expect her to believe a fake story, but he wasn’t sure if he could handle telling her exactly what was going on.
Ray sighed and walked forward, past her toward the couch and plopped himself down, pulling the bottle of whiskey to the crook of his arm. “I can’t sleep,” he admitted quietly, his gaze fixed firmly on the coffee table and not on her.
-------
She followed him with her eyes as he moved past her and to the couch, the bottle of whiskey he held so fondly explanation enough for the mood, or so she thought. It wasn’t until she was perched on the couch beside him, hearing those three words, that something clicked inside of her. It was selfish of her to think that she had all the problems, that her life was so hard. Maybe growing up the way she had had made her a rather selfish, self-centered person. What other excuse was there for thinking the world revolved around her.
“How long has this been going on?” she asked softly, scooting a bit closer to him, plucking the bottle of whiskey away and replacing it with her arm, twined in with his. “And why am I just now finding out?”
---
Ray hadn’t even noticed her movement until she spoke, and he slowly lifted his gaze to look at her. She seemed so delicate and innocent, and he didn’t deserve her at all. He was a criminal, and would always be one, no matter how much he tried to move on or step in the right direction. Isobel, she was innocent and kind hearted, and she deserved much better than he. Ray didn’t fight her as she removed the bottle, but he did give her hand a squeeze.
“It’s not a big deal,” Ray replied softly, his gaze on their entwined hands. “I’ve been managing,” he added, before sighing and bringing his gaze up to her face again. “How’ve you been? Eli hasn’t been giving you any more trouble, has he?” It would always be good to change topics. To keep the focus away from him.
-----
“Ray.” Fingers returned the squeeze, and she shifted slightly, leaning her head against his shoulder as she closed her eyes. “I’m not here to talk about Eli. Eli’s fine. Eli’s got his own life. I came here for you.” There was a pause. She wanted to talk, wanted to explain to him some things, but right now, all that was on her mind was him. “I’m worried about you, especially if you’re not sleeping.”
Isobel paused again, wondering how to proceed. “How long has this been going on? A few days? Longer?”
----
He had been out of the game too long, he concluded, as she shifted the focus back to him. Ray sighed and was quiet for a few minutes. His eyes closed, and he tilted his head back, taking his time to consider all his options. He knew his system wasn’t working, that the alcohol wasn’t doing him any favors. How many days this past week had he gone into work hungover? Too many. It couldn’t keep going like this, but what other option did he have?
He opened his eyes then, and turned to look at Isobel more fully. “Since that night at the restaurant,” Ray admitted quietly, though this time his gaze never left her face. “I can’t...” he tried to explain it further, but the words just wouldn’t come.
------
The answer took too long to come, and when it did, Isobel felt her heart fall towards her stomach. That long. That’s how long he had been dealing with this and she had been ignorant of it all. For the longest time, Isobel said nothing, just watching Ray, feeling helpless, worried. Instead of saying something that would inevitably come out wrong, she instead shifted, rising up to sit on her knees as she wound her arms around his shoulders, pulling him towards her gently and just holding him.
“I’m sorry. I... had no idea. I didn’t know or I would have...” There was a shake of her head and she held him tighter, leaning down to bury her head against his neck.
----
Ray felt uncomfortable then, as she just looked at him. He shouldn’t have said anything, and his mind was reeling, chastising himself for the mistake. At first, he thought she was shifting away from him, but when she pulled him toward her, he complied. He just rested there, somewhat tense, as she spoke. One of his arms was tucked between them, but his free hand came up to touch her cheek. He shifted slightly, so that he could tilt his head to look up at her.
“It’s okay,” Ray said softly. “I didn’t want you to know...you were dealing with enough already,” he explained, not wanting to make that big of a deal about it. “Plus, you have stuff you’re working through. It wasn’t important in comparison.”
-----
“That doesn’t mean you’re not important too, Ray. I can get wrapped up in myself pretty easily if you let me, but...” She let out a quiet sigh, leaning in towards his fingers, meeting his gaze. “It is important. You’re important to me, and I want to know when something’s wrong. Okay?” Isobel’s smile was tight then, sad around the corners. “And if there’s anything I can do to help...” She trailed off then, stepping into territory that was wholly unfamiliar to her.
-----
Ray shrugged. “You don’t tell me what’s going on with you,” he replied without thinking, wincing as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He pulled back then, drawing up his knees to his chest as he leaned back against the arm of the couch. It wasn’t fair of him to say, but it was how he’d been feeling ever since before their trip to Alaska. His conversation with Eli hadn’t been comforting either. It only made him feel more in the dark when it came to Issy.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, frowning slightly at the situation. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol talking or making it easier to be honest with his girlfriend. That thought was enough to sober Ray up at least a little bit.
-----
His words stung, more than she could have imagined, but not because they were wrong. No, it hurt because it was true. She didn’t share with him, not beyond the immediate, at least. She wasn’t used to sharing that sort of stuff with people. “No, you’re right,” she said quietly in response to his apology, getting up to her feet after a moment, her eyes closed.
“It’s... probably time to come clean with you about some things, isn’t it?” When Isobel opened her eyes again, she forced herself to smile, moving in front of him and resting her hands on his knees as she leaned down to press her lips against his forehead. “I need to go grab something first. Something... that’ll help me explain.”
-----
Ray knew he had hurt her; it was written all over her face. When she got to her feet, he was afraid that she was leaving and started to uncoil as well. He stopped though, as she moved toward him and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You don’t...have to,” he replied, though they both knew their relationship couldn’t move forward if they didn’t talk about it.
He sighed and nodded, his hands resting on her waist for a moment. “Hurry back okay? Leave the door open and just come back in,” he requested with a tired, somber smile. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but their conversation needed to happen.
---
She seemed reluctant to leave, but finally she gave a small nod, brushing his hands with her own before pulling back and hurrying out of his apartment, leaving the door cracked slightly. Running down stairs, Isobel rushed to her own apartment, fumbling for a moment with the lock before finally gaining entrance. It took her only a couple of minutes to locate the book, shove a few things in a bag, and run back upstairs. When she emerged back in the apartment, her face was flushed from rushing as quickly as she did, the door closing gently behind her.
“Sorry. I just... I only kind of know what happened. My mother... put it all down so she could share it with me.” A large album plastered with rabbits was clutched to her chest, an overnight bag over one shoulder, her intentions of staying the night clear if Ray would allow her.
----
Ray didn’t move even the slightest bit as he waited for her to return. She didn’t take long to return and he sat up, ready to learn more about the woman that was such a major part of his life. He was confused at her explanation, but motioned for her to come sit next to him on the couch. “It’s okay, Issy. We’ll work through it together,” he promised, voice warm and welcoming. The conversation might not have started out the best of ways, but it was certainly progressing appropriately.
----
Reclaiming her seat beside him, Isobel offered him the book, which turned out to be a baby album from her childhood. There was nothing said as she waited for him to flip through it, the start as normal as any baby book would be, but before Isobel had turned a year old, the focus of the book changed from documenting a little girl’s first words and steps to a scrapbook containing the story of her kidnapping. Police reports, paper clippings, journal entries from her mother. It was all there.
Her eyes were on his face as she watched him read, chewing uncertainly on her lip, her hands curled into fists in the fabric of her work pants.
-----
Ray accepted the baby book with a smile, expecting to find exactly what filled the first few pages. He enjoyed the pictures of her first year, but when newspaper clipping and police reports started to fill the pages, he slowed down and took the time to read everything carefully. He frowned as he pieced together what happened, page by page. It was difficult to read, and every so often he would glance toward Isobel, but his expression was neutral for the most part. He didn’t want to pity her, knew that she wouldn’t want that. He felt badly for what she went through, what she missed out on.
When he finally got to the end of the book, he took a deep breath and closed the book shut. Ray placed it gently on the coffee table in front of them, before turning to look at her more fully. “This...I’m sorry, Issy,” he said, unsure of what else he could possibly say.
----
As he read, Isobel had settled back into the couch, knees pulled up towards her chest, head resting against them as she watched Ray flip through the book. After a while she had closed her eyes, just listening to the sounds of both of them breathing, the papers flipping, the other sounds that filled the apartment. When Ray finally said something, she opened her eyes, shoulders shrugging up towards her ears.
“Nothing for you to be sorry for,” she said quietly, managing a small smile. “Unless you were part of the kidnapping, that is.” A joke, small as it was, and a breathy laugh to pair with it.
----
Ray sighed and pulled her into him, tucking her gently under his arms. They were quiet for a few minutes, because Ray didn’t know how to respond to her joke. One he hadn’t found funny at all. Instead, he focused on the feel of her in his arms and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. After minutes of silence, Ray finally spoke.
“I used to steal things,” he admitted quietly. “The Hope Diamond was the first major heist I was caught for. The Heart of Eternity diamond was what I stole that ended up with me coming here.” Given her history, Ray wasn’t sure if she would have heard of the thefts, but it was only fair.
-----
The silence was strange, not uncomfortable, but uncertain since she wasn’t entirely sure what Ray thought about the entire thing. So when he started to talk, she tensed automatically, though started to relax at almost the same instant as she listened to what he had to say. “So you came here to get away from that?” she asked quietly, tilting her head up slightly so she could catch sight of his face. “Or to steal more?”
-----
Ray was still for a moment before replying. “I came to escape jail. I had a pretty lengthy sentence,” he explained with a half chuckle, unable to help himself. He was only slightly proud of his accomplishments. “I spent a good amount of money to escape my past, but every so often I slip. It’s nothing big, or even that expensive.” He paused for a moment, before continuing, “Peter, the guy I live with, he helps keep me straight. He was the FBI agent assigned to my case. The only guy who could find me when I didn’t want to be found. He’s been gone though...and it hasn’t been the best situation.” He shrugged then.
-----
Peter again. Ray had mentioned him several times, but still, she had never met him. “Where is Peter anyways? You’ve talked about him, but I’ve never got a chance to meet him.” Isobel shifted slightly, curling into his arms just a bit more, reaching for the book and flipping through some of later pages in the album. “And it seems we both have some demons in our closet, doesn’t it?” She didn’t say anything for a few moments, enjoying the quiet, the relative peace that lingered around them.
“I came over from Musings just aver I turned 18. I got to see my real mother for a couple of weeks before hand because she... rescued me.”
----
“He said he needed to go to New York for a while. He never really gives me a lot of details,” Ray explained with a slight shrug. He couldn’t help the thoughts creeping through his mind, whispering that Peter finally abandoned him. It had been months with no word, and he was starting to worry. He pressed a kiss to her forehead in response to her question, and sighed when she explained how she got to Humanity.
“I’m glad you had...some time with your mom. I never knew my parents,” Ray confided quietly. “I lived in an orphanage until I was 18. It wasn’t the best but...” he trailed off then, knowing that no matter how bad he might’ve had it, Issy had had worse. He was quiet for another few minutes before changing the subject back to their original topic.
“I had a rule when I was a thief. I never used a gun, never handled them. I’ve had them pointed at me plenty of times, but I never ever used one. That night, in the restaurant, was the first time I had used them for real. Peter taught me how to use it, and I knew enough from just traveling in the right circles but...I can’t shake the feeling of the gun in my hand. Every time I close my eyes, it’s there.”
------
At his admission about the gun, Isobel shifted, taking Ray’s hand in her own, lacing their fingers together and covering their hands with her free one. “I wish I could make it go away for you. Make it better somehow.” Her voice was quiet, somber.
----
Ray felt badly about the whole situation, but when she said she wished she could help him, he smiled. “You’re amazing, you know that?” he said quietly, lips pressed against her forehead. “You’ve been through so much, so much more than I have. Just being with you helps, Issy. I don’t regret what I did for a minute. You’re safe with me now, and I would do it all over again if it meant you’d be alive and well.” Every word was sincere and heart felt, and being this honest made Ray feel slightly uncomfortable, but he wanted her to understand that he would always choose the option that kept Isobel safe.
----
For a long while, she said nothing, just resting against him, her eyes falling closed as she relaxed further against him. “Not as amazing as you think,” she said quietly, glancing up towards him for a moment before laughing quietly under her breath and curling back up. “You’re the amazing one. And if you argue with me, I’ll punch you in the throat.” There was another laugh, a squirm against him as she did so.
A few moments later, she twisted again, turning so she could look fully at him. “There’s something else I need to share with you.” The tone she had was serious, truthful and perhaps a bit wary at revealing this bit of herself given how new it was.
----
Ray was happy to sit in the silence, comfortable with Issy in his arms. That was all he really needed to keep the nightmares away. When she did speak, he chuckled along with her and wrapped his arms around her middle, giving her a playful squeeze. “I’d never argue with you,” he replied cheekily, and the grin on his face let her know just exactly how amused he was at the thought.
When she became serious, Ray sat up and straightened up a bit. “Is something wrong?” he asked, his tone just as serious.
----
She didn’t respond for a moment, just looking at him, memorising his features. Finally, after several moments of quiet, she shook her head. “Nothing wrong. Just... something I need to show you.” Isobel paused, glancing off to the side, towards the kitchen, and then back to Ray.
“You trust me, right? Trust me not to really hurt you or anything?” There was hesitation in her voice, bleeding through with how unsure she was in how to proceed, how to demonstrate to him what she had found out. It seemed the sort of thing that people needed to see before they’d believe, at least in her perspective.
---
Ray wasn’t entirely sure where all of this was going, and the confusion was evident on his face. “What do you need to show me?” he asked, following her gaze toward the kitchen, but not really sure what to make of it. She was making him feel slightly uncomfortable, but when she asked if he trusted her, he knew he needed to calm down. This was only Isobel after all, she couldn’t exactly hurt him.
“Of course I do,” he replied immediately. “Issy, I’d trust you with my life.” As he said the words, Ray found that it was actually true. He really did trust her with everything, and he knew he hadn’t made a mistake in doing that.
----
At his words, she gave a small nod on her head, releasing the lip she had been chewing at as she uncurled herself from his lap and hopped to her feet. Disappearing in the kitchen for a few moments, Ray could likely hear the sound of drawers being dug through, then shut, then other drawers looked through, enough noise to likely make him more and more uncomfortable as the moments progressed.
Finally, she reemerged with a handful of paper napkins and a steak knife, held carefully so she wouldn’t cut herself. “You’re going to think I’m crazy, but there’s something I need to show you. Something I found out recently.” Instead of taking her seat beside him once more, she chose to sit across from him, rear balanced on the edge of the coffee table. “Can I see your hand?” The blade of the knife glistened in her own hand, sharp and dangerous, but her eyes were clear. She looked as though she knew what she was doing, at least.
------
To say Ray was nervous by the time she walked back toward the couch would be an understatement. He was curious about what she needed in his drawers, but refrained from pointing her in the right direction, worried about what she might be looking for. When she walked inside with a knife in her hand and napkins, Ray was more than nervous. He was scared and definitely reconsidering the idea of asking Issy to sleep over tonight.
She spoke then, and it did little to calm him. Ray took a few deep breaths though, and reminded himself that this was Isobel, and he trusted her. Very, very hesitantly, he extended his palm toward her. “What are you going to do to my hand?” he asked, his eyes never leaving the knife.
----
The knife was sat on the table beside her as Ray extended his hand, taking it in her own and rubbing his palm lightly. “Nothing that I can’t fix. Promise.” Lifting his hand to her lips, she kissed the fingertips one by one before scooting forward so she could rest his hand in her lap. Shifting for a moment, she grabbed several of the napkins and unfolded them, lifting his hand and settling the napkins beneath it.
“Remember. Trust me, Ray.” Isobel gave him a smile then, hoping it would be reassuring, before picking up the knife once more. Then she looked down towards his hand, her hair falling towards her face, curtaining her expression as she traced the lines on his palm, hoping that this ‘ability’ or whatever it was worked as well as it had in the past. A breath was taken, then released, the sharp blade sliding down across Ray’s palm, hardly any pain in its wake considering how sharp the utensil was.
----
Ray watched her as she worked, carefully looking at his hand before resting the napkins on her lap. He knew she would cut his palm, but he wasn’t sure why. He was too caught up in breathing and focusing so as not to freak out that he wasn’t able to ask her why she needed to cut him with a knife. A small part of him wondered why she didn’t just cut herself, but he immediately knew he’d rather he was hurt than her.
He nodded to her, as she smiled at him, but closed his eyes and focused on relaxing his palm. The blade moved across his skin and he winced slightly as it left a thin line of red down his hand, blood welling to the surface. He watched and waited to see what she would do.
-----
Once the cut was made, Isobel lay the knife off to the side. Nothing more was said as she pressed her palm atop his own, the warmth of his blood making her squirm slightly in distaste. But that was quickly stamped down as she forced herself to calm. A breath was let out, her shoulders sunk down, and she searched out that flicker within herself that responded in situations like this. It came quicker this time, responding to her silent request, and before she realised it, the warmth was flowing from her and into him, guided with her will and desire, energy so golden and warm healing the wound she had made herself.
Only after she was certain it was healed did she pull her hand back, her palm stained in red, but Ray’s surprisingly clean, a thin white line of healing tissue left where a cut had been before, a mark that would likely fade in no time at all. Seeing that it had worked, that it had worked well, Isobel lifted her eyes towards Ray’s face, her smile suddenly bright and proud.
“See. I told you you could trust me.”
----
Ray was confused as she covered her palm with his, but his confusion gave way to curiosity as a warmth spread through his hand. He could feel his hand fixing itself, and his gaze turned to wonder as he looked at Isobel. She was so focused on the task, and to Ray, she looked absolutely beautiful.
His own expression was bright and proud as she looked up at him. “You can...heal people?” he asked, voicing his observation aloud. “Issy, that’s amazing! How’d you discover this?” Ray asked curiously.
----
A laugh spilled out of her then, and she looked down, almost modest. “One of the guys in the kitchen cut himself while chopping onions, and I was helping him put pressure on it while someone else got the first aid kit and... voila? It healed, apparently.” Her shoulders shrugged up sheepishly and she reached to grab a clean napkin, wiping at her palm with it. “I’ve been experimenting here and there, finding out what I can and can’t do. It doesn’t work on me at all, so... at least I can help other people?”
----
Ray nodded understandingly. Healing was quite a useful ability and Ray had a feeling this power would make Isobel feel better about herself and her life. “Helping other people is perfect for you, baby,” he replied, taking her in his arms with a wide smile. He pressed a kiss to her forehead first, and then her cheek, before kissing her lips tenderly. “You’re more amazing now, if that were even possible,” he teased her, his arms encircling her tightly. There was a pause for a few moments before he asked her, “Stay with me tonight?”
----
She was more than happy to be pulled into his arms, returning the kiss just as sweetly, arms twined around his neck. “You’re only saying that because we’re in a relationship,” Isobel joked, giving the tip of his nose a small kiss.
At his request for her to stay, she looked back over her shoulder where her overnight bag lay on the floor. “Way ahead of ya, baby,” she said with a grin, turning to look back at him and kissing his cheek. “Come on. Let’s get some sleep.” Squirming off of his lap, she grabbed his hand and pulled him along to the bedroom.