Who: Olivia and Liesel What: A meeting, of sorts. When: The Tuesday post-Reavers, pre-Reliquary. Where: The Aubade, through the doorway of #204. Warnings: Sadness and just a touch of crazy.
Olivia had been round to the bookstore this pleasant midwinter’s morning, and had made a few good finds, most notably in the books about opera, and she had also found a couple of good romance novels. ‘Good’ being a relative term, of course. She could not help it...they were a weakness of hers.
She was getting more used to the human world, though by no means was she nearly as worldly as she should be. That, however, was her choice, and she had not run into any problems thus far, and so she did not feel a need to change her mannerisms. She did not go out at night very often, and she generally only went to the opera house, which was under construction because of the damage done by the zombie-people-things.
Upon entering the hallway of the Aubade, she noted a bag of groceries next to a door. close to her own. She thought that very odd. Perhaps someone had put them down to open the door, and simply forgotten to get them? It was simple. Every Tuesday, the groceries would be delivered. Liesel would pay for them to be left outside the door, and she would wait until a particularly quiet time of day to calmly step outside and take them indoors without any conversation from those around her. Considered the state of her mental health, her hygiene in regards to blood and the injuries on her body, it wouldn’t be a good idea. Besides, Liesel thought that to wait this horrible episode out would be most fruitful and with any luck this time death may take her rather than break one of her arms. That could, however, have been more wishful thinking than anything else, she had not expected the apocalyptic scenario that weekend and at one point the dark thoughts had claimed her in not caring what happened to her.
She stared at the clock on the wall, and realised suddenly it had been fifteen minutes exactly since the man had rung the bell (it was always a man, she watched him from her window as he spoke to the doorman and she was almost glad to see he had survived) and she should probably collect the food outside. It was unlikely that it would be stolen-it was the Aubade, after all-but leaving it for a long time would provoke suspicion from her neighbours. That wouldn’t be a great idea, considering the recent death in the building. She didn’t want people intruding on her privacy, and being lazy seemed the worst kind of reason for that to happen.
Liesel opened her door slowly, still with traces of dried blood on her mouth and in her hair, and stepped out to pick up the bag. It was routine. No one was ever around at this time. Apart from the fact that she had a distinct feeling that crouching to pick up her provisions, someone was watching her from down the hall.
When the door started to open, Olivia began to look away from the door, but stopped mid-turn when she saw that familiar head of blonde hair. Olivia would know her anywhere. She froze, poised on a toe and on one heel of a delicate high shoe.
Oh. Oh, what has happened to her? She was shocked at her appearance, the lank hair, the traces of blood on her person. She looked at her, and her mouth fell open.
Only two doors down. She’d been two doors down, this whole time.
She cursed herself for not knowing, and her heart ached for her friend.
”Liesel,” she murmured, in a soft, stunned voice. It was the voice that made her look. She knew it. She knew she did, it was the type of thing she remembered from years past and it stunned her to think she would remember things like that when sometimes she barely remembered to eat. But it was the same; exactly the same as the voice she heard every day for years, and it made her shudder to think back to her teenager years and the life she had led and the people she knew.
She stood up to face her friend-her dear friend, little Olivia-and simply stared.
It was then that she turned on her heel automatically and closed the door.
Liesel’s breathing quickened as she stood shell-shocked, staring at the door with the bag of groceries still clutched to her chest. It was her. She had been living so close, and she must’ve been there so long now since their conversation and she hadn’t even noticed. She had lived through that horrific incident at the weekend. The blonde woman cursed her stupidity, not moving an inch from where she stood. She wasn’t quite sure what to do. So she decided to stay there, collect her thoughts, and pray that Olivia thought she was an illusion or a symptom of madness and ignored her presence two doors down. When Liesel disappeared, Olivia continued to stand there for a few moments. It was almost as if Liesel hadn’t been there at all. There was no evidence, certainly, that she’d ever been there.
But Olivia knew that’s where she had been just a few moments ago, and she was not about to let this pass without saying something. Liesel did not look at all well, and something should be done about that. Carefully, she approached the door and knocked gently. “Liesel...please, talk to me.” She leaned her head upon the door. “You do not have to open to me, just...please, let us speak to one another.”
Anything would be preferable to the nothing that had laid between them for the past couple of months. “Please, my friend, are you hurt? Is no one taking care of you?” She continued to stare at the door, resisting the urge to simply slump down there and then, eyes wide at the sight of her friend. What was she to do now? Olivia was not meant to be here, let alone live down the corridor. Let alone to have survived that mess.
As her old friend spoke, Liesel had great difficulty in listening, feeling as if she should run away to the other end of her apartment and ignore everything. That thing inside her was willing her to do it; she wanted to scream to make sure that she couldn’t hear a thing and hide in her kitchen with the knives where she would be safe from any surprises like this. She had never been a great fan of surprises.
Instead, she decided to stand there, shaking now, trying to make her mouth form words instead of her lips just limp, breathing heavy. “I am well, I do not need someone to take care of me.” How dare she ask that. They both knew very well which one of them was more unhinged and-no, she wasn’t meant to think of that, Olivia was not meant to be there and she’d therefore ignore her. She was not meant to reminisce.
Olivia pressed her lips together. Oh, Liesel could be stubborn, but Olivia could be just as stubborn. She was not at all amused by the fact that Liesel wouldn’t even open up to her. What on Earth did she have to fear from little Olivia? “You look,” she stated bluntly, “like Death warmed over. I may be insane, but I am not stupid.”
She had come here for many reasons, but yes, she did want to see her, and she wondered what had happened to her friend to make her so fearful. She was angry at whatever had hurt her. She wanted to know who had hurt her, and for one of the first times in her life, she wanted to hurt whoever it was. Now that she’d dealt with...whatever those creatures were (who were all too...human-looking), she knew she could do it. (Perhaps she was being a bit too optimistic in this regard.) There was a mixture of both joy and rage in her heart, a terrifying combination that set alight her eyes in the same way the monsters had that weekend. There was something strangely raw about the feeling, seeing a friend after such a long time. She hadn’t changed a bit. She was the same Olivia, same clothes and same voice, but it pained her to show her own face. Liesel hadn’t been the same in years and in some way, she was shocked that Olivia had even recognised her. She was a far cry from the lively, naive teenager she had once been.
The dismissal in her hoarse voice was clear. “I may have been in an entanglement with one of those.... creatures.” Liesel muttered through the door, eyes boring through wood as if she could see the woman on the other side. “It is none of your concern, Miss Olivia.” There was something not quite malice in her words, but it was not welcoming and certainly not indicating in any way that she was, in fact, well. There were only so many lies that could be spoken convincingly. “I am no longer a child, Liesel. “
No, no the past ten years have cured her of that. Naive she may be, but it was all her choice, and no one else’s for her to be so.
Olivia bit her lip, and everything hurt, her eyes, her heart, her arms. She could tell that Liesel just wanted her to go away, to leave her in whatever darkness she’d ensconced herself in. And ordinarily, ordinarily, Olivia would obey, in order to please her. But she didn’t want to. Perhaps she shouldn’t. Perhaps Liesel shouldn’t be left alone, should never have been left alone, even when she ran away.
But she also knew what happened when she pushed Liesel too hard. It was never a good thing to do. She placed the flat of her hand against the door. “I am two doors down,” she murmured. “You know where I am, if you have need of me.” She had to be careful. Liesel never did care for people trying to control her . There was a rushing sound in her ears and the blonde woman staggered forward, slamming one hand against the pane of the door so as not to break the fall with her face. It came out sounding a lot more angry than she had intended, and as her fist slid down the door she rested her forehead against the flat surface in front of her, biting down on her lip until she could taste blood. She winced at the coppery flavour.
“I will not need you, I do not want you here, I never wish to see you again, Miss Olivia, so please just forget my existence.” Her usually blank expression was replaced by a contorted, painful snarl, her head now pressing against the cool wood of the door as if to block out anything else she was feeling. There was so much hurt in knowing that her friend was just across the door, her old friend, and as soon as she opened it she could come inside and hug her and they could be friends again.
Then that thing would rip her apart from the mind outwards.
“You are not a child, you are right. So know what I tell you is what is best for us both.” Olivia drew back, startled, at the slam of Liesel’s hand against the door. Her words, bit and tore at her heart, and yet she could hear the pain cased within them.
“I am not leaving,” she said quietly, keeping calm with an effort. It hurt so badly to be dismissed. She would cry later, and she was quite glad that the walls in the Aubade were soundproofed, so that Liesel would never hear it.
“But I will let you alone,” she continued. “Because you wish it. But I will not forget you.”
Olivia stepped away from the door, but found it hard to just...leave. There was something wrong, something terribly wrong here, and Olivia would find out what it was.
But that day would not be today. She sighed, bowing her head.
Every word she said was heard as if it was on a megaphone; it was impossible to get away from yet so horrific to hear. She wanted the numbness to go away, to leave her, but it was so difficult to block everything out when all she could hear was Olivia’s voice. She wanted to break something, smash something, to hear a sound she was more certain of. What if this was a hallucination? Her mind now turning against her? She just couldn’t be sure.
“Please forget me.” Liesel murmured into the door, her hoarse voice filled with pain she had been trying to conceal. She prayed it wasn’t audible to the girl on the other side. She wanted to go outside, she did. But she couldn’t go near someone she cared about now, for fear of what she would do. There was so much uncertainty now, and the woman was not enjoying living in a world where things surprised her so often. She had never enjoyed surprises.
Olivia heard, and sighed and shook her head. ”I can’t,” she said softly, and turned on her heel to walk away, though it hurt terribly to do so. Still, she kept walking till she was in her apartment, and closed the door behind her. She went to her bedroom and undressed, crawling between the sheets naked, and pulling the covers over her head. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears and she didn’t cry for a while, just lay there.
She didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know at all. The anguished scream from down the corridor wasn’t audible through the soundproofed walls.