Who: Luke and Bunny What: A visit and a confession. Where: Aubade 506. When: Backdated to the weekend. Warnings: Cuteness, with some angst and sadness thrown in.
Luke knew he couldn’t wait too long before letting Bunny know he was back in Aubade, partly because she lived on his floor but also because he knew that the longer he put it off the harder it would be to talk to her. He was looking forward to seeing her, yet at the same time he dreaded the inevitable turn their conversation would have to take. Wren was the only other person who knew what happened between them and he trusted her not to tell anyone, so he did have the option to keep quiet and never say a word. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t thought about it, but in the end he knew what he had to do, even if the outcome might be something he didn’t want. If it ended badly, well, he deserved it.
He gave up on calling after his fifth attempt and sent her a text letting her know he was back and she could stop by the apartment whenever she had a chance instead. Thomas knew he was having friends stop by, and it wasn’t like he was going to go anywhere - especially not with that murder downstairs and the police presence. Luckily no one was around to lecture him about resting, since he couldn’t seem to keep still and kept pacing around the apartment or gnawing on cookies from the basket Bunny and her friends had sent him.
When the knock at the door came he paused, glancing towards it with a pang of trepidation before crossing the living room.There wasn’t anything he could do about the fading bruises on his face, but he’d at least managed to cover up the neck wounds with a turtleneck. Luke hesitated with his hand on the doorknob, but after a moment he pulled the door open with a genuine smile despite what was to come. "Hey, you."
Bunny had actually taken a lot longer to come over than she'd expected. She had just spent so much time in her closet looking for something nice to wear. She wanted to look nice when he saw her this time, because she'd been waiting to see him. The last time something crazy had happened, the memory was quite vivid, she had looked like a hot mess. That wasn't happening again. She wore a nice pink shirt which hung over a skirt. She'd tied a belt around her waist so that the ends hung off one hip. She'd taken great care with her hair and make-up too. Everything had to be waterproof, because she was probably going to cry. Runny make-up just looked terrible. As for her shoes, she'd settled into some nice comfortable flats.
She knocked at the door and waited patiently, although she felt like her heart was going to pound out of her chest. Why was she so nervous? It didn't make any sense? Probably because the night he'd been kidnapped, she was out with Doug dancing like nothing was wrong. The thought made her frown, but the frown faded into a smile when the door open and she saw him.
Sure he looked a little beat up, but he was alive and fine. He was standing and smiling and talking to her. She took a moment to collect herself before taking the few steps between them and hugged him closely, exhaling a sigh of relief against his chest. She didn't want to say anything, just hold him. He was really there in her arms. He was okay. Everything was going to be okay.
Even though it had only been a little more than a week or so since he’d last seen her, it felt more like months. For a few days he hadn’t even thought he was going to get the chance to see her again, and in the instant when the door opened and he saw her standing there Luke forgot about his inner turmoil and was just glad she was there, just as pretty as always and smiling at him. He was prepared for the hug and pulled her against him, content enough to hold her without thinking about anything else just yet. All of that could wait a little while longer. “I missed you,” he said quietly, only a little at the admission. “Told you I’d be fine. Good as new.”
He knew he’d worried the hell out of her, and now he just wanted her to know that he really was okay and there was no lasting damage. Not of the physical variety, at least.
Bunny couldn't actually speak because her face was buried into his chest, but some muffled sounds that could be mistaken for words were definitely made in response to him. She just held him tighter when he said he'd missed her, almost as if he'd fade away if she let go. He might have been bruised in the face, but he'd been bruised in the pool too. It was a strange kind of logic, but he got beat up every day while he was doing his weird training thing. She was sure it'd made him okay enough for her to not treat him like he was made of porcelain. That thought alone made everything that much better.
She had no idea what he'd gone through, but she was sure that he was going to be fine. Luke was a lot stronger than he looked. Not just outside, but inside too. They'd been through a lot together since they'd met. She was seriously hoping nothing worse than this could happen. A pang of guilt struck her chest when she thought about the kidnapping joke she'd made to Bourne just a few months ago. She practically goaded the fates into making this happen, even if she wasn't the direct victim. She knew it was pointless to blame herself for things out of her control, but it was really hard not to when there was nothing else she could do while he was gone.
After a long while, just enjoying the heat of his body and his the smell of him and his sweater, she finally let up. She wanted to fuss at him, but she let it go. He didn't want her to worry, but he was happy she was there. This was like the memory, wasn't it? He felt the same way? She didn't yell at him, even though she did start to tear up a little. Bunny couldn't help it, she was just really happy to see him. "You'll be as good as new in no time," she said picking at his sweater. The fact that they did hurt him had caused anger to well in the bottom of her stomach, but she couldn't let that take over now. She'd deal with that icky feeling later. Right now it was just the two of them. "And I missed you too."
Luke was perfect willing to stand there and hold her for as long as she needed, not that he was in any particular to let her go either. He leaned his head against hers and contented himself with the quiet for as long as it lasted. As far as he was concerned Bunny never had to know any of the details about what he’d gone through while being held captive just as long as she knew that he’d gotten through it relatively unscathed considering what could have happened, and that he was going to be just fine. He had to be strong for her sake, because what he had to tell her would hurt her enough without any added worry on top of it. It might have been easier to play the pity card and spew out some sob story about how difficult it was to gain her sympathy, but he wasn’t going to stoop that low. He didn’t want her blaming herself for any of it.
“‘Course I will.” He pulled back slightly to smile down at her, forcing himself to keep it bright and positive. If only he could just be glad to see her and enjoy her presence without anything else hanging over them. “You can stay for a while, right?” Without waiting too long for a response he took her hands in his and tugged her forward, towards the living room. “I won’t keep you too long, I just... everything’s been so crazy and it’s nice to have some time alone.”
"I can stay as long as you need me to." Bunny felt like they'd just lost so much time. It'd only been a week and he was still alive so they'd probably have forever after this, but despite both of them having gotten shot, it was so different than not being able to rush in see each other immediately after. He'd rushed to her in a cab, and she had stopped everything to go to the hospital. They could be there in front of each other. This time had been so different, and she couldn't text him or anything while any of this was happening. They'd been out of touch the entire time. "You can keep me as long as you need to too," she said with a small laugh. "Well, as long as someone doesn't show up to kick me out that isn't you," she amended.
He did need to rest, but she wasn't going to push the issue, because selfishly, she didn't want to leave him. She didn't want to let him go. She just wanted to stay there alone with him in their bubble and not go back to anything outside the apartment. She didn't want anything to come in either.
He was clearly pleased and relieved by her answer, although he doubted she’d want to stay after he’d said what he needed to. At least he had time to talk about other things and lead up to it instead of rushing through and probably making things even worse than they were already going to be. “You can stay as long as you want to,” he countered with a grin. “I’m not going to kick you out, and neither is anyone else.” Thomas may not have understood certain things when it came to relationships, but he at least realized that privacy was appreciated and Luke highly doubted he would ever kick Bunny out unless there was some kind of immediate threat she couldn’t know about.
Standing for too long still made him feel a little dizzy, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. Instead he lead her over to the couch and tugged her down to sit beside him as though it was simply more comfortable than standing - which it was - rather than a need to get off his feet. “I got the basket you and your friends sent,” he said suddenly, remembering to mention it before he forgot again. “It was really nice of you - and them, of course. I haven’t had a chance to thank them properly myself yet.” He smiled faintly. “They’ve been looking after you during the past week?”
The idea of Luke keeping anyone from kicking her out was pleasing, although she would probably leave if someone insisted he needed to rest more. She didn't want to cause any trouble or anymore stress than the family had already experienced. She could understand when people felt the need to keep to their own. Bunny didn't want to impose when she wasn't welcome or making things awkward. It didn't mean she didn't like it when he said she could stay as long as she wanted to. She liked hearing it a lot.
Bunny let go of him so he could lead her over to the couch. It would have been awkward otherwise, though the cool air that replaced the heat of his body against hers made her feel a tinge of remorse. That was soon wiped from her mind at the mention of the basket. She was completely lost as she sat down beside him, having absolutely no idea what he was talking about. She let out a weak laugh, "Right, the basket..." Was it a fruit basket? A Bed, Bath, and Beyond basket, maybe? If it had been flowers, he would have totally said flowers. Maybe it was one of those Pepperidge Farm baskets with the cheese and sausages. "Lucky...." She hadn't meant to say the word out loud, but didn't seem to notice she had either.
She was sure he had asked her something else after that, something else about her friends. Her friends had sent the basket and had awesomely forgotten to mention to her that they had done so, so she would have been prepared to actually acknowledge it had been sent. "Yeah, they all moved in, except Doug, but he will soon." She sounded very confident about this. "What basket? It's really nice to have them all around." She decided to leave out the part where they drugged her because she wasn't sleeping or eating, because he didn't need to worry about that. "I think it's going to be a lot of fun having everyone together. Some of them don't know each other, but they all know me, and Kylie's super keen on letting them all stay over, which is really cool of her. I mean I just met her, but I feel like I've known her forever. It's really weird. You ever get that feeling with anyone? What basket?"
He assumed that, since her name had been included in the note, Bunny either knew one of her friends was planning on sending the basket from all of them or she’d been involved in the joint effort. It never occurred to him that they’d done it without telling her and just included her name out of courtesy. “Yeah, lucky me.” He tilted his head to the side and shrugged, figuring she was just kidding around. “At least I don’t have to worry about Thomas eating any of it. He hates cookies and that kind of thing.” Anything that wasn’t incredibly healthy or didn’t contain vegetables was apparently unacceptable.
The thought of that many teenagers living in one apartment, especially on the same floor, made him want to laugh. Thomas was going to be so thrilled. Luke, however, thought it was pretty cool. “Aubade apartments are pretty big, so it’s not like you guys will be short on space.” It might be a little crowded at times, but the best part of living in an apartment this big was the opportunity for privacy that his old one in Hamartia never offered. “Sounds like it’ll be fun. She seems like a nice person - especially since most people wouldn’t just invite people to live with them like that.” Even though he’d only met Bunny’s roommates a couple of times, they all seemed like nice people and they all cared about her - even if she ended up hating him, at least she’d still have a solid group for support. “Uh, yeah. You just click with some people faster than others, I guess.” He felt that way about more than one person he knew, and it wasn’t a feeling he could explain any more than Bunny could. Some things just felt right.
“Oh.” Luke could’ve hit himself for not thinking of it when he first mentioned the basket. “Do you want a... cookie, or a brownie or something? It’s technically from you, so it’s only right that you have some.” Besides, junk food made people feel better, didn’t it? Maybe it would help once he finally managed to get up the courage to take charge of the conversation.
"Cookie basket!" She exclaimed before she could catch herself. "It was such a good idea, and everyone loves cookies." Why had no one told her they'd sent him a cookie basket? It made so much sense. She felt so out of the loop. Her and her roommates were going to have words. "I didn't know they sent brownies in cookie baskets. This is so amazing." Well, it should've made sense if it was just a basic sweet basket, but a lot of companies were really stingy about what exactly they put in these baskets. These were obviously not made by Juliet. Sure they were pretty, but there was a not-Juliet quality to them, not that she was going to complain. Bunny would accept anything he handed her, because everyone knew of her epic love of sweets and candy and food in general. This day seriously couldn't get any better between the return of Luke and the cookies.
She was mildly distracted by the talk of Kylie. She liked that he approved of her. She wasn't sure how her friends felt about him as they hadn't given her a real report. She hadn't been able to ask them either, because of all the crazy that had started happening after. She could ask them later today now that she remembered it was on her list of things to do, mostly because she wanted her friends to approve of her boyfriend, not that she'd stop seeing him if they didn't. Kylie had been very pleased that they'd hooked up together. She didn't know how Skyler had felt about it, because he'd been all shacked up in his apartment.
The other two boys? Mystery. Juliet was supportive as always. "We're all like family," she said slipping her hand into his and entwining her fingers between his own. "I don't think Kylie really gets to have people around her who don't treat her like a celeb, so she's just really happy that we're all real people." It was probably a strange thing to hear, but from what she read about tabloids it was probably true. "It's probably like how Jack feels about you. He was famous and you were his friend. Not because he was famous, but because you liked who he was. That's cool." It just felt nice to point out the similarities. It was odd how close they'd become...quite literally, not only in their relationship, but now they lived right down the hall from each other. It was almost like a fairytale.
“You didn’t know?” Luke canted his head to the side quizzically as he rose from the couch and headed into the kitchen to get the basket. The note hadn’t been in familiar writing, but he just assumed that one of them had been the designated writer. “Oh. I just.... assumed that you knew since your name was on it.” Clearly he was wrong. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, but how was he supposed to know? He grabbed a bowl and dumped a bit of everything into it before heading back into the living room and dropping onto the couch. “The brownies are really good,” he offered, setting the bowl down on the table in front of them. The rational part of him knew that brownies weren’t going to make her reaction any better, but he didn’t know what else to do. He was starting to get more nervous by the second, which was a bad thing because he’d just end up butchering his words if he was nervous, which might make things come out wrong.
She was going to hate him. Her friends, if they found out - would she tell them? - would hate him too. He didn’t doubt that at least one of the guys would try to beat him up, even though he deserved it, but in a situation like that was it better to just let it happen or should he fight back? What was wrong with him anyway - why hadn’t he said no? It seemed like a good idea at the time, even if he looked back on that in horror now. He was getting too lost in his thoughts and forced himself to start paying attention when he realized Bunny was talking. “That’s true. The fact that he’s famous just... didn’t matter. It still doesn’t. It’s like you guys and Kylie, where it isn’t really a big deal because you can see past that.”
Part of him wanted to abandon his plan and pretend like nothing happened, like nothing was wrong, and instead sit with Bunny and eat junk food until she eventually had to go home. He couldn’t, though, and he longer he said nothing the harder it would be. So Luke gave her hand a squeeze and searched for the right way to start it off. “Actually, Bunny, there’s... something I wanted to talk to you about.” He smiled to try to make it seem less like one of those ominous ‘we have to talk’ moments, even though that was really what it was.
Crap! She'd given herself away! She'd been so well too, but he'd returned with the cookies and she looked guilty as charged. "No, no one told me they sent you cookies," she admitted with a slight blush. "I guess they did it while I was still taking care of Poppy and Mere." She brushed her hair from her face. The thought of Hazel not waking up was not something she wanted to think too much on. So when he placed the bowl down, she stole a brownie and began to eat it. At least she was okay enough for that. The doctors might have said Hazel wasn't going to wake up, but doctors had been wrong before.
She was so busy in her own revelry, she hadn't noticed that Luke had zoned out until he started talking again. Then there was the part about him wanting to talk to her about something, and she stopped in mid chew and looked up at him and his smile. When he squeezed her hand, she held onto his tightly. If he needed to talk about it with her, she was more than willing to listen, and she needed him to know that. Sure, Bunny could easily be referred to as ditzy, flakey, easily distracted... Well, she didn't want to dwell on the negative, but she always tried to be there to help those she cared about, and at times even people she didn't.
She lowered the brownie into her lap, because it sounded kind of serious, even with the smile. "Okay." She steeled herself! She had to be strong for him.
He gave a small shrug, since it made sense once Bunny mentioned Poppy and Meredith why her friends might have gone ahead with the basket without having a chance to tell her. She’d had double the worry, with his kidnapping and Hazel being in the hospital - he’d read about the attack on a young woman in the newspaper which, combined with the knowledge that Hazel wasn’t waking up, made it clear that some kind of mask had attacked her. It made him angry to think that people like that were donning masks and practically mocking the vigilantes, but the communicators made it easier to know which masks were safe and which weren’t. Oracle was too good to let any kind of infiltration happen. “I heard about... what happened in the paper. It’s terrible.” There seemed to be an increasing amount of bad guys in the city, and the ones that were Creations had the potential to be much more dangerous and difficult to take down.
All that was a worry for another time, though. Judging by her expression Luke figured that she didn’t suspect anything was wrong, at least nothing like what he had to tell her. Maybe he shouldn’t have smiled. He didn’t know what kind of expression he was supposed to adopt, or how he was even supposed to word what he had to say - but there was really no easy way to say it and no matter what it was going to be a bombshell. There was nothing he could do to prepare her for it.
“It’s not... easy for me to tell you this. I wish I didn’t have to, but you... you deserve to know.” He swallowed heavily and paused to take a deep breath before continuing. His hands were still entwined with hers, and although he doubted that would last long it at least gave him some courage. “When I was kidnapped, there was someone else with me. A friend. We were going Christmas shopping, and when the guys... grabbed me, they grabbed both of us. Together.” Another pause. “We weren’t... we were kept in separate areas, where they held us. For nearly two days we barely ever saw each other and weren’t allowed to talk at all. When we finally were allowed to see each other...” Oh, fuck. What was he supposed to say? Would trying to explain what it was like make a difference, or would it seem like he was looking for pity? “I don’t want to go into detail, but it... it was cold, and we both thought... I mean, I didn’t know if--” Luke cut himself off and snuck a glance at her expression before trying again. “It shouldn’t have happened, Bunny. I don’t even know how it did, but we... we had... we slept together.” Somehow he managed to force the words out, not liking the way it sounded but unable to think of another way to say it - he couldn’t bring himself to say ‘we had sex’ for some reason. A rush of guilt flooded forth at actually saying it aloud, and by this point it was evident that continuing to speak was a struggle. “I’m sorry. It didn’t mean anything... I know that doesn’t make it okay, but it’s true. We were just scared and I wasn’t thinking. I wish it never happened and if I could go back I’d stop it from happening, I swear I would.” Dragging his gaze upwards, he met her eyes almost pleadingly. “I’m so sorry.”
So Luke had started talking, and yeah, he was totally going to talk about it. He was talking about how someone else was there, that no one bothered to mention? Oh God, there had been someone else there who probably had to go through the same thing. Why had no one told anyone? Although, it was probably best that the person wasn't exposed to the media. Yes, she lucked out. Apparently, it was a she because Luke had told her he wasn't gay. It was a really stupid thing to think about right now. Of course Luke wasn't gay, but who the hell had he "slept" with. It was one of his friends. It had to be one of the other ones. It was one of the ones she didn't know very well or didn't know at all.
She wondered if she'd met this girl.
Bunny hadn't let go of his hand, but she didn't seem to realize she was still holding it. Her grip on it was so tight her knuckles her white. Had he just told her he had sex with someone? But he thought he was going to die. He said that in her letter and --she put her hand over her mouth attempting to collect her thoughts. "Who?" she asked quietly, "which one was it?" He thought he was going to die and it was with a friend, someone he trusted. She could understand that. That was the logical part of her brain talking, but her heart wasn't in it. It felt like it'd just caved inward.
She let out a small laugh, thinking back to when she received the letter wishing it had been something about breaking up instead of what it was. He might have been looking at her, but she wasn't looking at him. She was looking at the brownie in her lap. The little brown crumbs had nested in her lap. She was going to make a mess if she stood up. Why was she thinking of stupid stuff like that when he'd just told her what he had?
He’d hoped with every fiber of his being that Bunny wouldn’t ask who, yet at the same time he’d known that she would. Of course she would want to know who. She had every right to know who. Luke couldn’t read too much from her expression but he knew this hurt her, and he knew that right now she was probably in shock. Her grip on his hands was painfully tight but he made no move to let go or attempt to get her to let go either. “It... Her name is Wren. She was at Thanksgiving. She came with Bly.” He could have blamed it all on her, like Wren had told him to - but he couldn’t. It wouldn’t really change anything anyway, even if he did. “It was just the situation, Bunny, I don’t... I don’t feel that way about her.” Now he was starting to sound desperate. He needed to stop that.
Her laugh caught him completely off guard. She wasn’t looking at him, which meant he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. For some reason that made him hate himself more than if he actually managed to get a glimpse of what her expression was. Luke wanted to give her time to absorb it, but at the same time he just wanted her to say something. Hell, even if she hit him at least it would be some kind of reaction. “It was a mistake,” he said quietly, after allowing for a long silence. “But I understand if you... if you’re angry, or if you hate me. You should.” He could have gone on, but he’d just be repeating himself. Excessive talking was not the answer right now.
"Oh, Wren," she repeated the name quietly and it took her a moment to put a face to the name. She blinked, once then twice. She'd been pretty. She'd not been the one he'd met in the alley. They'd both been nice to her, but she'd probably been scared too. It was strange how Luke was so worried about her being upset with him, which she probably would be later when this all settled in, but for now she just looked up at him. "Is...she okay?" How did you react to something like this? They'd both been put in a situation where they thought they were going to die. She wanted to be righteously PISSED about it all, but it was really hard. "I mean...is it okay with her that you...guys...did that and that it all meant nothing?"
Luke kept saying he didn't like her that way, but what if she liked him that way? Bunny was just so confused right now. One of them liked the other that way, right? It wouldn't have happened otherwise? They wouldn’t just do that randomly, would they? She hadn't pegged Luke for one of those guys, but apparently, she was just wrong. That realization hurt, but she shoved that down for right now. The disappointment was far worse than anything else she could have garnered, and she just didn’t want to deal with that right now.
Her grip on his hand loosened, not that she let go just yet. "Have you talked with her about this already?" It was starting to slowly make sense, because she had to know this before she actually formed a full opinion. Or maybe she was just grasping for some sort of reason or more grounding to be angry with him over. She wasn't sure yet. Her boyfriend had sex with someone else within days of them actually becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. What would that say about the rest of their relationship if they continued on?
Will's words strangely came to mind again. Argh, why was Will not here to be awesome and hot and completely unobtainable? She could really use some advice on how to deal with this situation. There were just so many factors going into it. "I'm supposed to slap you, right?" The question was totally disjointed from the rest of her train of thought.
“Is she okay?” Luke couldn’t help but repeat her question, growing more confused by the second. “Oh. Is she... that kind of okay. Uh.” He didn’t know how to explain how Wren viewed sex, that it had been comfort for her and it helped with the fear and the pain even if it hadn’t worked the same way for him. He’d thought that it might help, and in the moment it happened he was desperate - but all it had done was make things worse. He knew, though, that Wren didn’t feel that way about him any more than he felt that way about her. They were just friends, and he was absolutely sure of that. “She knows that it... it wasn’t about feelings.” He was screwing this up beyond words and he knew it. The problem was that he simply couldn’t explain his mindset when it happened, and because of that Bunny would never understand that it wasn’t the way it seemed.
He stared down at his knees and tried to sound more coherent. “We talked about it a little. I called her to check in a couple days ago, and she... we both know it was wrong. We don’t feel that way about each other. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I... under normal circumstances, I never would have done that.” Luke didn’t expect her to believe him, but it was still the truth. He’d still been a virgin, for God’s sake - and that wasn’t how he’d wanted his first time to be, cold and scared with someone he didn’t have the right feelings for. But he’d have to live with that just like everything else. “I know nothing I say can make it right, but I regret what we did. It didn’t mean what... something like that is supposed to mean. Everything I said to you in that letter... I meant it. I still do. My feelings for you haven’t changed, but I realize that this isn’t... something that’s easily forgiven, or even forgiven at all.” He’d braced himself for the very real possibility that this talk wouldn’t end well. He knew she had every right to never want to see him again. As much as it killed him, he knew if it did happen it wasn’t undeserved.
A halfhearted shrug was his response. “You can if you want to. I deserve it.” He looked up again. Maybe it would help a little if she hit him even harder than just a slap.
Bunny listened very carefully to what Luke was saying, and she could see and hear that he was feeling really badly about this. Wasn't that supposed to make her feel better? It really didn't. The fact that she couldn't hate him made everything worse. She couldn't hate him. She really really wanted to, considering what he was telling her, but her heart was being stupid and not listening.
It was slowly starting to dawn on her that she didn't want to be there right now. Not only did she not want to be there. There wasn't anywhere she could actually go. She couldn't leave the building because of the crazy camera people, and she couldn't go back to her apartment, because everyone would see it written all over her face. It was a major drawback to living with that many people she hadn't thought of before. She was stuck. She was stuck here with Luke, with his hand in hers. He was trying so earnestly to make her understand that it wasn't supposed to happen, that he knew it wasn't supposed to happen and she took in a breath and closed her eyes before exhaling slowly. Maybe it hadn't sunk in yet. That had to be it. It had to be.
"Do you have a room I can sit in by myself?" They had to have a spare room she could just close the door and digest everything he'd just told her. She needed to sit and wait without the sound of his voice or anyone's voice or presence. She just wanted to sit alone for a minute and think.
He actually would’ve preferred if she yelled at him or even if she threw a brownie at his head. Some kind of reaction would be better than this silence, because it made him nervous and that made him want to keep talking even more. Maybe he should let go of her hand. Was it helping or just making things worse? Luke didn’t know what to do, so he just sat in a position that was somewhere between leaning forward and pulling back, and he waited.
It made sense that Bunny would want to be alone for a couple of minutes. He could understand that. “Yeah... uh, of course.” Luckily the apartment was full of rooms that weren’t used very often. “There’s a guest room just down the hall... third door on the right.” That was when he finally let go of her hand and slid back a little to give her space to stand. There was nothing else for him to do but sit and wait for her to think things over anyway.
“Thanks,” she said cataloguing the directions. Third door to the right. There was a moment her gaze shifted as he removed his hand from hers. He had to let go so she could go, which is what she wanted to do. It felt strange having to remind herself of that.
She took the edges of her skirt and made a little place for the brownie pieces to settle before edging over to the table and just dumping them there. It’d be easier (and better) than dropping it all over the carpet. She was still considerate after all. Once she was done that activity was meticulously completed, she went down the hall and went inside the third door on the left. She closed the door behind her, locked it, and stood there. She just stood there staring at the back of the door.
Luke stared at the ground and waited, counting the seconds as they ticked by after he heard the audible click of the lock being pushed into place. He had no idea what kind of thoughts were going through Bunny’s head or how long she would need to collect her thoughts and come to some kind of decision. He didn’t expect her to just forgive him and go on like everything was fine, but he didn’t want her to hate him and never speak to him again either. Maybe there was some kind of middle ground to be found, where they could try to work past what happened.
Minutes passed by and still he didn’t move, trying to see if he could hear anything coming from down the hall. If he was going to check on her he had to wait a decent amount of time, but how long was that? Five minutes? Ten? Fifteen? Luke sighed and grabbed a brownie, taking a bite and finding it hard to swallow. A glance up at the clock told him that fifteen minutes exactly had gone by, and he decided that knocking to make sure she was okay couldn’t hurt. He rose from the couch and made his way hesitantly down the hallway, pausing outside the door to the room she was in and knocking softly. “Bunny? Are... are you okay?”
Bunny hadn't gotten any further into the room, but she wasn't standing anymore. She was seated with her head against the door. She couldn't tell if she was feeling better or worse, but the knock and just shook her out of her deadness. She didn't answer at first, but when she did, there was some shuffling noises heard and the door was unlocked. If he tried to come in, he'd find it would wedge against her, but there'd be enough room to squeeze through.
The room itself was really dark. She hadn't bothered to turn on the lights. She liked that it was dark. The darkness hid a lot of things, mostly her expression. She was pretty sure she was really frowning. The mixture of emotions was still confusing. And the way her thoughts ran had been even more confusing. At least he was well enough to have sex? He could have been killed. She was supposed to be thankful he was alive right? That other girl was probably scared too, and it wasn't like it was non-consensual. They'd both agreed to it. She was his friend and he trusted her and she trusted him. Bunny just wasn't sure she'd be able to look that friend in the face again. If she stayed with Luke, she was certain she'd have to and she wasn't sure how well she'd handle that.
Something deep inside of her wanted to strangle the other woman for letting this happen. Luke had his part in it, but so did Wren. Unfortunately, it wasn't exactly cut and dry, at least not to Bunny. She sat there with her hands in her lap. What was she going to tell him? Everything was not okay. She wasn't sure if it could ever actually be okay. She couldn't tell anyone this had happened. They'd all worried so much over her and it was almost Christmas. A lot of bad stuff had happened and it was just starting to look better. Also after everything Luke had just been through, this...really didn't feel like the time to actually deal with this, not that she knew when would be a 'good time' to deal with it.
Luke hesitated when he heard the door unlock, unsure whether he should give her some more space or go inside and see if talking to her might help. After a couple of minutes he decided that she must have unlocked the door for a reason, and slowly turned the handle to see how far the door was open. There was some resistance but he managed to slip through the opening before letting the door shut on its own. The room was dark so he couldn’t make out Bunny’s expression, but he could see that she was sitting on the floor and probably had been leaning against the door.
This was bad. He knew that. He’d hurt her in a way that he could never truly make up for, and even if they did try to work past it the knowledge would still be there. Never had he thought that he would be that guy, the one who cheated on his girlfriend even if he hadn’t done it for the reasons most guys did. Would it have been better if he hadn’t told her? Was this really doing the ‘right thing’? He realized that he was just looking down at her in silence and sat on the floor next to her, although he left a fair amount of space between them just in case. “I can leave if you want,” he offered, unsure of what else to say. He’d already said he was sorry, already tried to explain how it happened and that he regretted it. There wasn’t much else he could tell her. “If you need... more time.”
When Luke had let the light flood the room, she didn't move to look at him or even turn. It wasn't until he said that he was going to leave that she finally did something. Her hand reached out and her fingers wrapped around his arm weakly. She said something under her breath. Her voice was so low, she could barely hear herself, and then she repeated it louder. "Don't go."
Scooting over, she curled around his arm. He said his feelings hadn't changed. He said it was a mistake. She believed him. She trusted that he meant every word of what he was saying. That's what was important. Bunny's hand slid down his arm and she rested her hand over his before her fingers curled under his.
The feel of her hand on his arm made him pause, but he was still torn between sitting and standing. It was only when she asked him not to go that he actually turned his head to look at her, slowly relaxing back into a sitting position and pressing his back against the door. If Bunny didn’t want him to go then he wouldn’t go, not that he wanted to leave in the first place. Then she moved closer and took his hand in hers again, which was the last thing Luke was expecting. He’d thought she would cry, yell, or even hit him - but not this. Of course he was thrilled that she didn’t appear to be breaking up with him, but at the same time it just made him feel even more guilty. At the moment he didn’t feel like he deserved someone as great as her.
He gave her hand a firm squeeze. “I’ll make it up to you,” he said quietly, determination creeping into his voice. “Whatever I have to do, whatever you want me to do... I will. I promise.” Somehow he’d show her that he wasn’t the kind of guy who was going to hurt her - what happened with Wren was a mistake, and it was never going to happen again. Even though it might not be possible tot make it up to her, he’d never stop trying.
Luke didn't seem to realize that this wasn't the sort of thing you could make up for, but that was okay. His heart was in the right place. He was trying to right what he'd done wrong.
Scooting over, she just put her head on his shoulder. "I won't tell anyone." If she did then he really would suffer. She didn't think she could stand that, with the knowledge that she would have brought his suffering about. "And I'm still glad you're okay," she continued. "I thought I was never going to see you again. I thought you were dead. Then they said they found you and I hadn't heard from you and then Hazel happened and I thought you came back in a coma and that's why they wouldn't let you be seen." Her breath caught in her throat and it took a moment for her to compose herself.
She honestly wouldn't have said any of this earlier. Everything was going to be fine, because he looked fine, and she was fine and everything was fine, but everything was not. "You don't know how happy I was to hear your voice. I thought my heart was going to explode. I felt sick, I was so happy. Then seeing you again and just being able to hold you. I felt like..." She curled in closer to him. "I was scared I was going to lose you, Luke, but you're here now. We're here now. That's what matters, right?"
If Bunny had wanted to tell her friends then that was her choice and he wouldn’t have stopped her, but he was relieved that she wasn’t going to say anything - especially since he’d been careful not to tell anyone else about it. “Okay. I... well, I didn’t tell anyone else either, and I won’t. I was never going to.” Personally Luke didn’t think it concerned anyone else, and he’d only told Bunny because it did concern her and she had a right to know.
It wasn’t easy to hear her describe how worried she’d been and how she felt when she finally talked to him, mainly because it made him realize just how selfish what he’d done with Wren really was. It had been about finding some kind of comfort in that moment, because beyond that there was no future. He’d let himself lose hope and that was just another thing he’d never forgive himself for, no matter what Thomas said. “I’m sorry. After I was rescued... I didn’t talk to anyone. Thomas was the only one who was with me, and... I tried to call as soon as I could but you should have been told something right away.” He couldn’t even remember how much time had passed from when he’d been brought to the warehouse and when he finally picked up the phone to call. “When I wrote you that letter, Bunny... I didn’t think I was going to get out of there alive. Looking back on it now I realize I should have been stronger, but... I wasn’t.” His hand tightened around hers reflexively. “I never thought I’d see you again, but I was wrong and I’m really glad I was.”
He paused and let out a sigh. “Yeah, we’re here now. And... we can try to move forward and work past this, if you want to.” It wasn’t like he had a lot of experience with relationships, particularly something as complicated like this, but he was willing to try.
"You're only human, Luke," she said as she felt his hand tighten around hers. Humans made mistakes, but she didn't feel the need to say that part out loud. It was clearly implied. He was so focused on those mistakes, not that she'd want him to forget them. He needed to learn from them, and he already had in a way.
Bunny turned her head and tilted it up to look at him. It was dark, but her eyes had adjusted enough to see the silhouette of his features. Lifting her free hand, she traced the contour of his cheek and then his chin, before leaning up and placing a kiss at the corner of his mouth. After what he'd told her, she wasn't sure she'd ever want to do that again, but she had. "I want to," she said as her gaze caught his.
“I know.” He resisted the urge to add a ‘but’ onto the sentence, because the last thing he wanted to do was start rehashing everything he’d done wrong. He’d messed up, he admitted it, and going over it obsessively wasn’t going to help. Luke just shrugged instead, looking at her uncertainly and then in surprise after the kiss. “Okay.” He offered a hesitant smile. This was a start, at least, and it was a lot better than how he’d thought things would turn out. In fact, he didn’t even mind the fact that they were sitting up against the door in the darkened guest room. “You want to stay in here for a little while longer?”
When he smiled she felt relief. Bunny couldn't place why, but at the moment that didn't seem to matter at all. "Just a little bit longer. I did have to wait forever to see you again," she said raising her brows. It wasn't said to be mean or rude, she was just stating it and gave his hand a little squeeze. "Holidays are coming up soon. Who knows when we'll have time to be alone again?" They both had family, friends, and obligations. She was going to enjoy this as long as she could.