Sam wasn’t one for crying. She would scream and pout, but bursting out with the waterworks had never been a trait of hers. But when she broke down, which was rare, it was ferocious. There’d been fear and crying when the nightmares had been happening, but it wasn’t like this. The utter feeling of having failed – never being able to do anything right again – fucking up in every direction and then some. Feeling like she was a useless piece of shit who had nothing to go for in her life.
She didn’t recognize the rapping at first, breaking off when she heard Rory – first time since before he left. For a moment it caused her sob to get stuck in her throat, choking her and then she gasped and buried her head in her pillow again. “Go ’way. Like you ‘ready did.” She began crying again, whole body shaking. She should have locked her door, but she wasn’t getting up now – nor could she manage to get any words out beyond cracked, “I wish- I – I wish-”