Who: Annie & Teddy What: Dealing with memories. Where: Hamartia 702 When: Monday shortly after this. Warnings: cursing, dark thoughts, general creepiness, awkwaaard, cuteness
Teddy pocketed his phone after getting Annie's second text. He was already at the sixth floor, almost there. Janet had needed him the day before because of these stray memories, and he could only assume that was what was bothering Annie now. He knocked on the door of her apartment and was torn between hoping she was okay and hoping she was freaking out over whatever she'd seen.
She opened the door to let him inside. It was probably immediately apparent that something was definitely wrong with her, because through out all their interactions up to that point, she had been pleasant, polite, and she hadn't even felt nervous.
He'd come up so fast that she felt a little surprised to see him there. The pain in her chest was still there and she was trying to calm herself down. "Thank you for coming," she said a little breathless. "They're not good today." She wasn't sure if she was making any sense, because she wasn't even thinking straight. She just knew she wanted whatever these feelings were to be out of her. She had just decided that she didn't like feelings. She liked other people having them, but she herself could do without.
It was definitely immediately odd for Teddy to get anything from her, but now her text message made more sense. He gave her a small smile and pulled her into a hug. His hand stroked down over her hair and he hoped he was taking a lot of the bad feelings from her as he soaked them in. He never could tell just how much his power affected others unless it worked really well. But everyone, every situation, seemed to differ. The rush was always the same for him, though, based on the strength and volume of the emotions.
"It'll be okay. I'm not going anywhere until you want me to," he said, leaving out that he'd obviously have to leave whenever he had to work again, but that wouldn't be for another day. And it wasn't necessary for him to point out given she knew his schedule as well as he did.
Annie wasn't sure if he was getting anything from her. He was touching her though. He was trying to sooth her, the way he pulled her into a hug was not unfamiliar. She curled against him, letting the door swing closed. His hand in her hair felt nice and he was warm. These were good sensations to focus on, something different than what was actually happening inside of her. It would have been one thing if she'd just seen them, but the emotions had been so intense. She'd managed to cool down a little, but she was still confused. It was hard to let go of the fear, and she'd fallen back into panic after she'd felt what she could only assume was joy.
She was supposed to be feeling that now, right? She was supposed to be feeling that because he had came so fast. He hadn't hesitated. He hadn't even texted back. He'd been there at her door immediately. Most girls loved that sort of things. Some despised it, but she'd asked for him to be there. She should have been more grateful. "He was really scared," she said quietly. She didn't want to talk about it, but she felt that maybe she'd be able to rationalize it better, understand it better if she could talk about it out loud. "He was so scared and confused and she was so sickeningly happy it hurt."
"Some emotions just take hold of you and don't want to let go," Teddy said softly into her hair. He kissed the top of her head and just held her. It was difficult to want the emotions to pass. They would, with time and his help, but he'd gone without all day and it felt good. She felt good.
He had to remind himself that he didn't want her to hurt like this, emotionally, mentally, otherwise. And he realized he was having to work a lot harder recently to keep a grip on his self control. Some incidences held the excuse of that Creation causing inhibitions to disappear for a time, but not all of them could be excused by that.
"It'll all pass," he added. But he wasn't really understanding how the memories could be effecting her so strongly since all the ones he'd experienced so far were relatively mild. Except the one about his brother. The one where he loathed himself so much he'd not known what to do with himself for a little while. Until the next memory took hold of him. Then his feelings had been taken over by that one. It was such a strange experience. But clearly Annie was getting handed some very strong memories.
Annie was starting to feel a little better. She didn't know what she was going to do if she'd been alone and had to deal with this. She felt vulnerable and she'd let him in. Why had she done that? She couldn't just push him away now, that would make things worse. No, she had to let him hold her, let him try to comfort her. He wanted to do it or he wouldn't be here. She didn't understand. "You came so quickly," she almost asked, but said instead. The falter at the end of the sentence probably gave it away regardless of her efforts.
She needed to get her shit together. This was unacceptable behavior from her. This wasn't an act, it was genuine. That's what really made it terrifying now that she thought about it. She could actually feel these things. Being a victim had never really crossed her mind, but she was being one right now, and that just spiked her into something else entirely, or was it her? Annie had suddenly stopped moving, the only tell-tale sign that she was still alive had been the sudden gasp. Her breathing quickened and all she saw were enemies everywhere. She'd obviously gotten sucked into yet another memory. It was another extreme and she practically shook with it. Her breath quickened and by the time she pulled out of it, she wasn't even in the room anymore. At least, she wasn't mentally.
That wasn't usual either. That sudden increase. Not when he hadn't done anything to compound the situation. He couldn't imagine a hug making anyone feel worse. Not that much worse.
But Teddy felt with Annie almost like he did with his siblings. Torn. Infinitely torn and left compartmentalizing his needs in one place in his mind and someone else's needs in another place, at the forefront. She needed him to comfort her and he focused on that.
It had to be another of those damn memories. Why was she getting hit so hard? And why had Janet been hit with such awful rememberings? Was it because they were girls? Or did they just react more strongly because of that? He couldn't find any other similarities in that moment and all he could do was hold Annie and take the bad feelings in and hope it was enough.
It had taken her a while to realize where she was again. She was trying to figure out why she was so angry. There was nothing to be angry about that she had done. No, it was the woman she was in the dream, but they had caged her like an animal and she was defending herself. There was betrayal there, but purpose. A purpose. She hadn't had one of those since she met Teddy. It was almost as if a light bulb had gone off in her head.
She was still confused, scared, angry, so angry at being confused and scared, but Teddy was there. He was taking the feelings away. It made him feel good, didn't it? He was enjoying her pain. That was supposed to make her angry, but she'd invited him there for that. The residual resentment made her want to hurt him, and do it badly. Her fingers curled into his t-shirt, until her knuckles went white. She wanted to hurt him, but that didn't make sense. She didn't invite him here to hurt him.
Teddy held onto her a little more firmly, taking in the anguish she was giving off. It was so much, but it was never enough. He was a glutton, but knowing that about himself didn't change anything. It didn't change the fact that he wanted her in the worst way, either. That he wanted her while she was just like this. Tormented by emotions she clearly couldn't handle. He wanted to make it worse before he made it better. Just like he had with Amber.
But he wasn't here for that, no matter what his body seemed to think.
Annie was slowly becoming curious as to if she could hurt Teddy. Could she make him feel bad about something? If she went that route, she would be back into familiar territory, but could she use him that way? Would he appreciate it? Would he forgive her? Did she care if he'd forgive her? Everyone cared about something. She guessed all she cared about was surviving, but she'd let him in here. Was it really because she wanted to let him have these emotions or was it because she wanted them out of her? Was it a selfless or a selfish act? The lines were starting to blur and she couldn't think rationally with all these stupid emotions in her way.
Her mind was foggy and her skin was hot. The feel of him holding her was all she tried to focus on. The way he stroked her hair and kissed her head. These were all gentle things, but she knew Teddy wasn't gentle. It wasn't in his nature. The grip on his shirt loosened just a little, her fingers protesting the sudden slack they were given, but she didn't flex them to alleviate it. "You should enjoy this while it lasts." She'd said something similar when she'd texted him. Now she wasn't sure if this was a gift or a trap.
"You know I am," he said softly, the smile evident in his voice even though he was still leaning over her, his cheek pressed against her hair. She smelled nice and she was warm and fit so nicely in his arms.
Teddy wanted to take her away and keep her, but he was struck with the fact that he didn't have to do something like that. Annie was different. She'd sought him out. She was more like him than anyone he'd ever been even remotely interested in. Of course all the others before her had turned out to be nothing but brainless sheep. Easily manipulated sheep.
He realized he didn't really know what he wanted to do with Annie other than keep her around. It was just another odd thing she made him feel in a growing sea of unfamiliar feelings and he didn't dwell on it. He was busy.
"You feeling any better yet?" he asked after a pause with genuine curiosity.
It was strangely comforting, the fact that this helped him. She didn't know what to do with that. He was enjoying this. People weren't supposed to enjoy other people's pain. The normal reaction would be to be angry or disgusted, but she did feel better. He was making her feel better.
Her eyes hurt and they were wet. She wasn't even aware what was happening until she tasted the salt on her lips. She let out a shuddering breath. This felt good. This felt like a release. This is why people really cried? She actually laughed. She had just learned something new. She'd simply hit a snag, and she was still caught up in it, but she could learn.
Emotions were intoxicating things, and he hadn't lied when he said it was hard to let go. She wanted to sink deeper into them, let them take her. She had when she was angry. It had controlled her. It had been a struggle and she had to claw her way out. She was still clawing her way out. "Why are you being so nice to me?"
"I don't know. I like you. A lot," Teddy admitted. He was confused but accepting. He didn't really want to not feel whatever way he was feeling about her. It wasn't bad. Just unfamiliar and kind of awkward. And it was easier for him to let those weird little feelings come back to the surface now that it felt like Annie's dark emotions were ebbing. "Like I told you... I think you're amazing. I just want to be around you. And I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not with you. You're not afraid of who I am. That means something to me."
"Are you being who you are?" The question sounded simple enough when it left her lips. Her mind was racing in a million directions. "Is this who you are?" Annie was slowly coming to the realization of what she was asking him. She was slowly regaining control of herself. She pushed away from him, but not enough to break contact. The air in the space between them was cold compared how it had been when they were closer. "Are you doing this for me or for you?" She'd never asked these questions outside of manipulating someone. Now, she just genuinely wanted to know.
"I like you, so for both of us," Teddy said, but she was right in a way. He wasn't being one-hundred-percent himself at the moment if that meant doing whatever he desired whenever he wanted to do it. But he felt there was a difference between speaking freely and honestly and acting like an animal with no self control. "I don't have to lie to you about what I've done to people or how much I enjoyed it, do I? I don't need you to think I'm the boy next door who wouldn't hurt a fly, do I?"
"No, you don't," she said looking up at him. "You don't have to lie to me, because I know that's not you." There was a distinct pause there. She was thinking again. It was hesitation. It wasn't fear, but it was clearly discomfort. "Is it enough?"
"Is what enough? That I don't have to play pretend with you?" Teddy asked, his brows furrowed in mild confusion. He wasn't sure exactly how she meant that, and it made him wary. It was enough if they were going to be real friends. That went without saying. He ran his thumb down her cheek, following the trail of her tears and wiping their traces away. He wanted to kiss her, but he needed to know what she was talking about first.
"I..." She wasn't sure what she meant by that either. "Is this enough? What I'm giving you. Is this enough? What you're taking from me?" Annie was pushing it, wasn't she? Her eyes looked a little more focused now, less confused. She was filling them in again, coming back to the present. Her voice had become more solid and sure. "This is sufficient?" She was definitely calmer, more in control of herself now. She was--her body went rigid again as another memory hit her. She slumped against him. "Magpie..."
"Annie?" Teddy instinctively grabbed hold of her again, afraid she was going to fall on the floor. He didn't second guess himself, he just acted. He hated this shit. Whoever was doing this needed to be stopped.
He was starting to worry about his sisters again. Janet in particular after she'd had such a rough first night with this... whatever the fuck it was.
She shook her head. "I think this'll be better if I sit down. If we both do. I don't think I can catch you," she said with a smile. Was she joking? "I just wanted something shiny, so I picked it up." She let out a breath. She was hoping that if she got hit by another one, it'd be like that one. It was calm. It was okay. She was trying to remember what they had been talking about before it happened, before she moved toward the couch to sit down. It had been important. "What was I talking about?" She was actually irritated at having to ask.
"You were asking me if this was enough," Teddy said slowly as he followed her to the couch and sat down right next to her. He still didn't feel quite sure what this was exactly. Her emotions maybe? That made sense. And he hoped that had been it since he didn't really feel like answering the other version of the question. Not right now with all this shit flying around everyone's heads. He put his arm around her shoulders. "The emotions... it's like food or water or sleep for me." Or drugs or alcohol. It was addictive, but he had a hard time seeing it that way. It was a necessity, not a crutch, after all.
Annie felt she could understand what he meant like food or water or sleep, but she'd felt how he felt when he was in the backseat of the car. "Now you're lying," she said with a smile and a slight laugh as she leaned into him. "I was there remember?" She laughed again. In fact, she just dissolved into a fit of laughter. She hadn't even intended to make the pun. "I was there," she sighed again quietly. She ran her fingers through his hair, almost soothingly. "I thought we just established that you don't have to pretend with me."
"You asked if it was enough. That's need based. You didn't ask how much I wanted," Teddy said. A crooked smile quirked at the corners of his lips as he tilted his head slightly against her touch and it was hard for him to not want to laugh right along with her. "I always want more. But I can be patient. I don't like being patient, but it's safer that way." His smirk turned into a little frown. "You know what happened when I got impatient with Amber."
"You have a clear definition between need and want," she said fondly as she watched him lean into her touch. "Most people don't." That was states as fact. She liked that he told her these things. She couldn't pin why, but she did. It brought her a certain amount of satisfaction, even if she wasn't going to use it against him. She felt like she'd accomplished something, but then again hadn't he as well? She'd told him more about herself than she'd told most people. She was kind of waiting for him to hurt her or make her disappear. She felt like he trusted her, and why wouldn't he after what she had done for him and what she'd said. It all made perfect logical sense. She wanted him not to trust her. It was dangerous even if she wasn't going to hurt him. "I saw, but I wasn't there."
"Did I ever thank you for taking care of her for me?" Teddy asked, his smile back again. He really couldn't remember if he had, but it was a bit of a line. And he was aware of that. But he'd said it anyway, hoping to flatter her and make her smile. She was pretty when she smiled. Something he found rare and beautiful in and of itself. He reached up and brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear affectionately, then his eyes drifted back to hers.
"Yes, you did," she replied leaning into his touch as he did to hers. She leaned into it a little more than she meant to, mainly because she'd been struck with yet another memory. This one came with a face attached to it and a feeling she was all too familiar with.
When she snapped out of it, she'd backslid into panic. She didn't need to feel that. Other people felt that. She never regret anything that she did. Not a thing. She just had to concentrate on the face. That face had to belong to someone in the city. It had to, and she was going to find that person and she was going to destroy him. It was completely irrational, but she did not appreciate having that forced on her and there was only one way to deal with it.
Teddy caught on a little faster this time and just held her closer. Her emotions were completely haywire and he didn't envy her for it. But he definitely loved that she'd invited him over while she was intermittently freaking out. It was a whole other side of her that up until tonight he wasn't sure she had. She was typically so mellow about everything. From what he'd seen of her so far anyway.
Any other girl in Annie's position probably would have felt embarrassed. She was making a show of herself in front of him, wasn't she? It wasn't her fault, but anyone with a decent sense of pride would have hid this from anyone. She was weak right now. She was vulnerable, and she was in the arms of another predator, practically offering her neck to him. She swallowed as she let him hold her again. He wanted more. He was getting more. If she didn't know what he could do, she would have thought he was doing this to her. She would have been angry at him.
His body, his presence was anchoring her to reality. She was clinging to him, just short of desperation. She was trying to calm her breathing and heart rate. She needed to just be there. She needed some peace and quiet. "The first two weren't so bad," she said thoughtfully. "I wonder what changed."
"My sister got a bunch of really terrible ones in a row. I can't see any kind of pattern. The forums haven't been very helpful either," he said, thinking it over himself as he took in what he could while she was still feeling what the memory had left in its wake.
It just seemed like another one of those things that seemed to affect the Creations in Seattle. Maybe it was another Creation's power, like the lack of inhibitions. He could only guess. But if it was, he wanted to get rid of them. Trying to find any sort of culprit, however, was akin to finding a needle in a haystack.
"You've been cheating on me," she said suddenly. It could have easily been misconstrued as her referring to his sister if she hadn't continued. "With another person who hurts people." She snugged her face into his chest, muffling the rest of her words. "I can see why, they're really good at this." Yes, they were good at this. This was something to respect. They had fucked with her. No one had ever been able to fuck with her, not like this.
When she looked back at him again, she touched the side of his face to catch his full attention. It wasn't a light touch, she was holding him there, cupping his cheek with her palm. "You should enjoy this while it lasts." She said it again. She didn't know when she'd return to her normal stable self, and she didn't know how long this would go on, but this was an opportunity she was offering before it passed.
Her thumb stroked his cheek, and her eyes settled on his lips. She leaned in and didn't quite press a kiss to his neck.
Teddy's face screwed up at first, because he had no idea what she was talking about suddenly. And then his eyes met hers and there were those words again. It felt like a taunt. And then he was sure she was going to kiss him, only she didn't. Maybe it wasn't a taunt. Maybe it was an invitation. Not that he generally needed one or couldn't fabricate one on his own, but he liked Annie.
He suddenly really wished he didn't like her at all, that she was just like the rest of them. Vapid. Annoyingly stupid. Weak. Any of those would've been easier to handle. They would've been a god damn green light coupled with her emotions.
"Annie..." He breathed her name, a sigh. What the fuck was he going to do with her?
"You're behaving." Annie's tone was neither here nor there. It was stated matter-of-factly. Teddy was behaving. She wasn't sure how she felt about that, but the hand on his cheek slipped down to his neck and she fondly rubbed him where it met his shoulder. She nuzzled against his neck then, curling up against him. It was an affectionate cat-like gesture.
"It's okay. I don't mind." How many times had she said those words? She had meant them every time, but this time was different. It wasn't a means to an end. It was another gift. Those weren't the right words and she knew it. Those couldn't be the right words. It made it sound like it was a bother and she was pushing it aside, not like she wanted it. He wanted her to want it, didn't he? That's why he was hesitating. That was good though, it was a distraction. It was the perfect distraction.
"If you're trying to seduce me, it's working," Teddy said, his voice pitched low and his eyes half closed. "If not..." He trailed off, not sure how he wanted to end that sentence. It wasn't like he really wanted her to stop touching him. And he wasn't ready to let go of her, even though it felt like she wasn't totally freaking out anymore. But. He liked her. He liked her enough to behave, as she put it. And the more rational side of his brain, the part not thinking with his dick, told him he needed to keep behaving. That he didn't need to know how she liked it. How she felt. How much it would take to make her beg him to stop.
The rational part of his brain parroted her words back to him. 'I don't mind.' And what if she truly didn't? What if she liked getting it the way he liked to give it? What if she never asked him to stop?
It was too easy for him to imagine her dead because of him. Because he wanted her so fucking badly, wanted to take her like he'd taken Amber, but he could guess he'd have to push harder to get her where he wanted her. Annie was different. She was special.
He sucked in a sharp breath and tried to will his hard-on to go the fuck away. That was why he had to behave.
"Is it?" This would be the point she would have purred the words against his skin, but she didn't. He was resisting, and she could tell it was taking great effort. He was tensing under her fingers. His heart rate had changed, as had his breathing. "Can you tell me what you want to do to me?" She was still curious. He was holding back from actually doing it to her, but maybe he would share what he was thinking. "What you're not doing."
"The same things I did to Amber," Teddy said without hesitation. Only maybe without the black eye. He tried to give her a sidelong glance, but it wasn't exactly possible with the way they were situated. "But I don't think it would work... I think you want me." He didn't feel that was an arrogant observation. She'd been stalking him for, potentially, several years. And the way she'd been treating him spoke volumes, in his opinion. "And I don't want to hurt you." It wasn't exactly a lie. He just wasn't sure if it was completely the truth. It was a confusing feeling that made his chest ache.
"Do I?" She was feeling considerably better now, but wasn't sure how to go back to the way she had been before the last three memories had filled her with those emotions. They were seeping out of her and she could start to settle back into her general state of ennui. "Do I want you to hurt me?" She let the question hang in the air between them. "Do you think I'll like it? If I want you? You don't have to be here right now, but you are. You're here for the bad, but you're here to help me too. You want to hurt me, but you won't," she said dreamily with a smile. "You're like a knight." She turned his head slightly, just enough for her to tilt her head and press her lips against his gently and held him there briefly.
Teddy's eyes closed automatically when her lips touched his and it took a great amount of willpower for him to just kiss her back politely. Chivalry fucking sucked. He opened his eyes long enough to look at her for a moment.
"You're no damsel in distress anymore," he said, but he wasn't sure if he was completely happy about that or not. All he knew was that he wanted to kiss her again, so he did, doing his damnedest to keep it simple.
Annie just smiled at him as he said she was no longer a damsel. Then she let him kiss her. She let him keep it simple, even though it would have been so easy to convince him otherwise. This is what he wanted right now. She kissed him back just the same. Two wolves playing at sheep, she thought amused.