Oooh, sounds like a bad joke. But I'll be sure to keep an eye on the city's death toll, see if there's actually a correlation between portable internet and hit and runs. I wouldn't be surprised, I know I would probably be distracted enough to miss the one ton hulk of speeding metal death-trap and I like to think I'm more enlightened than average.
Either way, everyone's already a simpering moron, if the overabundance of vapid sitcoms parading across my television is any indication. People talk about voodoo zombies being nothing but a tale to spin in the dark, but I've got a feeling that if I keep at this another few days I'll join the huddled braindead masses thirsting for brains. Or at least more stimulating television.
I NEED MORE CHANNELS. The five I get can't be representative.