e-mail to a. crawford From: kayla_michaels@usdoj.gov To: alexander_crawford@usdoj.gov Subject: Tangles
Dear Man-Bitch Alexander,
I know it's late but your job description is to lick my boots so do not complain that I work you too hard I've been going over details from one of my cases and I think you should be informed of a few snarls I've come across. I'll put them in list form so you can print them out and tape them to flashcards to aid your failing memory for convenience.
1. I need you to locate the 2008 incident report filed when Alan Robertson allegedly pulled a knife on Danny Feldman. It's been alluded to in the 2009 report of Robertson allegedly beating Feldman with a tire iron, but the actual report is better than hearsay.
2. The traffic report about Feldman's car should be here by Thursday. If it isn't, please stab Officer Luntz in the jugular three times, rinse, and repeat let me know and I'll tie him to a stop sign with his own fucking arteries talk to the traffic office.
3. Tessa has been reassigned to another lawyer because this fucking office was designed to make me lose my mind so I'll need you to make sure nothing gets lost in the shuffle. Murry has sticky fingers. A new girl should be starting soon, I've been told she just got moved in. Bitch better not touch my rainbow filing system. She should be able to give you some much needed help.