girlprophecy (girlprophecy) wrote in musevoices, @ 2013-04-10 16:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | ch: buffy summers, f: btvs, prompt #001 |
Prompt #1 (Who Are You?) - BtVS: Can't Go Back Home Again
Title: Can't Go Back Home Again
Rating: FR13
Warnings: none
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Character: Buffy Summers
Disclaimer: BtVS belongs to Joss Whedon and company.
Hi I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.
Cue the dorky hand waving. And the big false smile.
It's not that I hate being a vampire slayer. It's just that it's not my thing. If given the choice, I'd rather be just Buffy Summers, your typical California girl.
There was a time when I embodied the whole California girl image: blonde hair, tanned skin, short skirts. I even used to be a cheerleader. I had a sweet, adorable, somewhat stupid boyfriend who played football. In a year's time, I was due to be the head cheerleader and queen of the school.
You'll notice that I use the past tense. That girl is no longer who I am. I'd love to be her again. Or at least I think I would. I am not really sure if I could go back to being blissfully unaware of what's out there. I tried it once and failed miserably at it.
I am sure Willow and Giles would say that I failed at being normal because its not in my nature or something more philosophical than that. But I think its the same reason why Cordelia hangs out with us in the library (even while complaining about how unpopular she's becoming by the second). Once you know the truth you can't take a step backwards and just be normal again.
It's like waking up and realizing that Santa doesn't exist. You can't turn back and think oh vampires are nothing more than a monster in a horror movie. Vampires are very much real and if you pretend they're not, it'll just get worse for you. Sometimes I'll look up and Cordy will give me this look and I know that she knows why I stick around just like I know why she is. (And trust me when I say it has nothing to do with Xander Harris. He's cute but he's not the cutest guy in school.)
So yeah I am Buffy the Vampire Slayer whether I like it not, whether I miss those days back when I was ignorant of what hid in the shadows.