Ruby (demon_witch) wrote in museprompts, @ 2011-02-21 23:02:00 |
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My worst character flaw (as far as being a demon is concerned) is that I really do remember what it's like to be human. I hate it. I wish it wasn't so. But it's there all the same. To a demon, that's about the worst character flaw you can possibly have.
It causes all sorts of problems…not least that other demons detest you. They hate me more than they hate most humans. The whole deal with Sam Winchester? That was bad. The rest of my kind already knew there was something different about me and supposedly siding with the Winchesters didn’t paint me in a better light. So yeah, it’s not a character fault in the way that humans would understand it, but to a demon, it’s the ultimate one.
It branches out into other flaws; the disgust at not wanting to lose it, the fear that I will anyway. It’s like one of those cartoon snowballs that just picks up everything in its path and gets bigger and bigger till it swallows up everything. I want to be good sometimes. I want to be like I was before I got sucked into a deal I didn’t understand. The deal that I would have agreed to anyway because of my greed and my opinion that I was special; better than the people I lived with. But these are more character flaws and gets me further away from the biggest one.
The humanity.
It hurts me to see things happening to people. I try to switch off. I try not to care. Sometimes it even works. Let’s face it, just about everyone on the planet has been hardened up by he news reports they watch while they eat dinner with their perfect little families. It’s happening thousands of miles away. It’s happening to someone who means nothing to you. But then I find myself thinking that those people can love and hate and hurt just the same as me. That makes the pain come back.
I’m useless at being what I am simply because of my biggest flaw. Being human.