Shine was waiting in her little garden space, knowing that if Buck had seen Topher, that the doctor would already have been collared and sent her way.
Topher was probably the only Chet that was freely allowed to move between territories. As he did so, he both saw and felt the differences between the so called tribes. He could almost breathe easier once he left the accusing eye of Saga. Almost.
The doctor greeted people as he made his way through the Oma's territory. He had promised Buck he would check on a few members, so he was starting with Shine.
"Good morning," Shine said softly as she spotted him. What would he do if she actually pulled it off. Nothing was the answer. The tribe would hurt for a moment or two, then she'd be dust and bone.
"Good morning, Shine." Topher unconsciously took her in, the quick initial assessment he did without thinking on everyone. "How are you?"
"Little tired, but I actually went out yesterday so, win." Shine tried her hardest to fake a smile
"That's good. Mind if I join you?"
Shine shook her head and moved aside to let him sit beside her.
"Thanks." Topher held in a sigh as he sat down. It was a long walk from Chet to Oma land. Especially in heat. "Is there anything you want to talk about? Or just a general health check?" he asked.
"They want you to say I'm not gonna try to kill myself again. Go and tell Buck that and we'll be fine," Shine replied.
"I'm not here for anyone else. I'm here for you."
"I can't promise. I'd be lying."
"I'm not asking you to," Topher said softly. "You can just talk to me, if you want."
"About what, about loneliness, hopelessness?" Shine shrugged
"Is that what you want to talk about?" Topher watched her, making mental notes as she spoke. This wasn't his specialty. Emergency medicine was, but he had done his psych rotation before choosing.
"I'm going to do it eventually, and the worst part, they all make noise, but once I'm in the ground, I'll be forgotten in days. And I won't be long out of the ground, not as if they can keep the dead long," Shine responded.
"You really think you're going to?" Topher put his bag on the ground. "Would there be anything that could help change that?"
"You mean them? I don't know." There was no hysteria in her voice, as if she was talking fairytales
"I mean anything." Topher shifted to look at her. "Shine, what do you want? I don't care about Buck or anyone else. Whether they will make noise or anything else. Talk to me. Say what ever you want to. Honestly, I don't know if I can help. I can tell you things that might help, like foods or activities, but I'm not properly trained for this. I wish I was, I'd feel like I was more help to you and others."
"I don't want anything. I miss the meds, and I do like walking, but being outside is overwhelming. I'm really not hungry. I'm sorry, I don't mean to cause upset," Shine said gently
"Is it the outside in general or the people?" Topher asked. He quietly and listened. "I wish I had medication to offer you. I could help you with a food recommendation - small meals, which will be easier if you haven't got much of an appetite. Did you ever try talking therapies, mindfulness or something like an art therapy?"
"The people and I suppose I used to sing, mindfulness, meditating. I feel like I'm in a void."
"So, what about if you went for a walk somewhere with less people? Or with someone else who likes walking and knows how to avoid people at times?"
"What about music therapy then? Or keeping a journal?"