*sigh.* Varada. I know how hard it is for you to believe it, and I'm probably not the one who's gonna be able to get it through your head, but it's not your fault. What he's done to you? None of it's your fault.
Shiox would be happy with anything from you. He doesn't even think he deserves to hold your hand. You two... really should talk about it. Because you both are being really stupid about it.