Fic: When You Say Nothing At All 1/1 Due South
When You Say Nothing At All.
By Lopaka Tanu
Due South
Ray K. POV
Summary: Ray muses on his love, Benton Fraser.
Warning: Unrequited Love. Language.
Disclaimer: I do not own Due South
Rating: General
Here I sit; he is in the hospital bed yet again. This time it was a bank robber with a knife. If the man had had a gun-- no I will not do that. He is such a foolish man. He believes in the good inherent in all things. It's there. I've seen it. Just not strong enough in most people to merit a second glance.
Put a bullet in the bastard that did this, I did. No one hurts my Fraser and gets away with it. That's one son of a bitch that won't be fucking with any body ever again. The paramedics said he would be lucky to ever breathe on his own, let alone regain any feeling below the neck. That is, if he awakes from the coma.
I try not to shudder as the memory replays in my mind. We were there picking up money for the lil' ole lady that lives next to Frase. He's always doing that, helping the widows when their monthly checks are late. Good man, my Frase is. That's why I love him.
He groans a little as he shifts in the bed. The stab wound is in the left shoulder. He will have to wear a sling because of it, son of a bitch. That bastard deserves to rot in his own fecies, and then burn in hell for all eternity. As long as it was painful and unending torment, nothing was too bad for that prick.
This kind of thinking helps no one. As it is, the thief will spend the rest of his life on support and being tended to by half ass nurses in a state medical prison. He will probably die the unknown victim of some government run medical experiment. For some strange reason, this makes me happy. To each his own, I guess.
Waiting for the Doctor's report is driving me up the wall with worry. Did it cause any permanent damage? Is he going to be fine? What will he have to do to get over it? Will the shock of yet another near death experience make him say he loves me?
As more time passes, I feel like the walls are closing in around me. I have to get some answers, now! Turning, I am about to leave the room when I hear his voice. Like an angel, he is calling my name. Slowly I turn back to give him a half smile. May be this is the time. My heart stops, and I can't breathe. He has a heart felt expression on his face.
His eyes are pleading with me, though a little glazed. I smile as he sticks out his good hand to me. Taking it in mine, I rub my thumb over the back of his. He has tears in his eyes; he is overjoyed I am here. He is saying it. Oh god, he is saying it.
I freeze. Oh god, he said it. He said he loved Ray. There is the proof I needed. He loves Ray. I nod, taking back my hand. I think I will go get a nurse and see what is keeping them damn doctors. As I walk out of the room he calls out to me. "Yeah, Frase?"
"Ray... Ray, I'm..."
I've stopped and am looking at him from the side of my eyes. He looks like a lost little boy, scared and alone. Before he can go on, I hold up a hand. "Don't worry about it. I gotta go. Call, you know, make sure Stell is okay." He looks away and nods.
Good, because I'm not sure I could face him with this knowledge. He loves Ray. Oh god, how I have wanted to hear him say that for so long. The emotions are welling up in me as I find a stall in the men's room. He loves Ray, Ray Vecchio.
We'll go on, I'll keep his secret. What are friends for? He doesn't need to know. It would just make his life harder and things awkward between us. Just to have him near is enough for me. I've lived in silence this long, why not forever? He can go on pining for a guy who may return someday. Who knows, he might return tomorrow. But as long as he is my partner, I will make the most of it and live each day like it is my last. Until the Italian returns, because then it will be.
For now, he is all mine, and that is all I need. I sigh as I wash away all traces of emotion from my face. With one last look at my expression filled eyes, I turn back to the door of the bathroom, leaving behind all that is painful. He needs me, and that is all I ever wanted. When I look at him, I smile, and I mean it. But he will never know that. Well, I'll never tell him that. On some level I think he knows and, on some level, returns my love. Not in his words, but his actions. In those rare moments, I can pretend he loves me, and believe it.