Fic: Sexual E-Harmony 1/1 Torchwood
Title: Sexual EHarmony Author: Lopaka Tanu Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, or EHarmony.com. Characters: Jack, EHarmony Words: 325 Prompt: 25 Media Crossover Fandom: Torchwood/EHarmony.com Pairing: Jack/EHarmony Rating: Adult Warnings: Language, Violence Summary: Jack logs on to get off. Author's Note: Commercial Crack. ______________________________________
"Okay, let's see." Biting the tip of his tongue, Jack smiled broadly at the computer. It was late at night and he was finally alone in the hub. Usually, anything sexual was better with other people, but tonight his date was more of the prudish variety.
Signing on the internet, he typed in the address and waited for the site to load. When it finished, he raised his eyebrows and whistled. "First name, Jack. Currently, I am single. Your options for what I am seeking is rather limited, but I am feeling a little old fashioned. So, man seeking woman."
Filling out his postal information, he selected where he heard about them from. "Website. Password, five letters, hmmm. How about Ianto?" Then he hit the enter button to see what came up next.
Another screen came up asking for more information. "Not one for small talk, are you?" With a sigh, he entered in the narrow fields that they allowed. "No children. Marriage? Not that you'll ever find out. Birth year, classified. Level of education.... Hmmm, Associate of Torchwood, sounds right." Snickering, he hit the enter button.
An error message came back.
"Birth year? Aren't my stunning good looks enough?" He hit the enter button again. The error message returned. "You really are a prude. Just don't be getting any ideas. I suppose I can make something up."
Reaching over, he picked up his glass of beer and took a sip. The next moment, he was spitting it out across the screen. "My personal income? Listen, I'm just looking for a good time. If you have to ask how much I make, I can't afford you. Good bye!"
Closing the internet window, Jack sat back in his chair with a huff. "Well there went a perfectly good evening." Twisting his chair, he looked out over the hub just in case. Never knew with his crew. "Just as well, I guess, its fields were too narrow anyways."