Fic: Danny Get Your Gun 1/1 SG-1
Title: Danny Get Your ShotGun Author: Lopaka Tanu Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of StarGate SG-1. Characters: Daniel, Sam, Jack, Teal'c, Hammond, OMC Wordcount: 1156 Prompt: 18 Forced Union Fandom: StarGate SG-1 Pairing: Daniel/Other Rating: Adult Warnings: Language, Deliberate Bad Fic. Summary: A clause in negotiations has some unintended side effects for SG-1. Author's Note: Cliche Marriage Fic. ______________________________________
"Well, I think that is it." Taking the cup the king of Illinit offered, Daniel grinned. When the king winked, Daniel's smile grew wider. "Jack, I think I have what you want. There is just one problem."
"Does it involve blood, violence, or me in anyway?" Cleaning out his ear with the utensil that had been provided in the feast, Jack couldn't be brought to pay attention. From the moment he learned these people didn't speak english, weren't interested in killing them, and refused to share any thing until negotiations were completed, he had been idling. The lack of any kind of physical stimuli, even alcoholic beverages, had made this possibly the worst friendly planet he had ever been on.
Across from him, Sam and Teal'c were busy comparing what was left on their plates, daring each other to try them. So far, Teal'c was the braver, and had to wash his mouth out several times to remove the flavor. On the whole, they both wished the Illinit had been too stingy to even share their food.
"No to all three, Jack." Daniel tried to face his friend, but the chief poured him another glass of the sweet beverage. He didn't want what it implied, but it was being rude to deny it. "But it's not..."
"Then handle it, Daniel. I'm tired of just waiting around and doing nothing. The sooner this mission is complete, the better." Sighing with disgust, Jack decided to follow Sam and Teal'c's lead. The food was a gamble, some of it proved edible, most of it tasted like shit. Which was which though?
Daniel refused the next glass the king offered him, turning to face his team mates instead. "He wants a wife, Jack, and has already picked one of us for the honor."
"He what?" Dragged from his stupor, Jack was suddenly ready to go for his guns. He sent Major Carter a glance to check that nothing had happened to her, and was relieved to find that she also had her hands on her weapon. Once was enough when it came to being traded for goods. "Tell his kingship that we aren't trading Major Carter for any thing he has, I don't care how miraculous it might be."
"He doesn't want her." Daniel glared at the king, then took the glass when the man looked hurt. Drinking it, he gritted his teeth and grinned at the man.
"Then what's the problem?" Silently, Jack was relieved, he would hate to have to write in his report that Carter had killed yet another dignitary under less than excusable circumstances. True, they were all goa'ulds, but this time that wasn't the case. "Complete the deal and so I can get the heck out of here!"
"Jack..." Daniel tried to get his friend's attention, but the man only had eyes for Sam. When the King rose from his feet, he was dragged with the man. "Jack! You idiot, they understand English! Jack! Jack!" As he yelled, the man had picked Daniel up and threw him over his shoulder. While he was carried away, he was pissed to see Jack still engrossed with Major Carter, who was in much the same state with Jack. "I am never going on a mission with either of you again!"
Teal'c would have said something, but the combination of foods had made a bad reaction in his stomach. Now, both he and Junior were high as a kite and unable to do much more than watch the world around him blur and reshape itself.
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Coming through the gate with a now stone sober Teal'c, Jack met General Hammond's stare with a sheepish expression. "Uh, General, I think we have a problem."
"Briefing room, now!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You what?" Hand over his eyes, General Hammond counted down the days til his retirement and thought it was way too many.
"Well, I wasn't really paying attention, and really, it was all Daniel's fault. He kept accepting those drinks old Kingy was plying him with." Jack fought not to squirm under the intense glare. Looking away, he tried to get some support from the other two members of his team, but found them occupied with other things. 'Traitors,' he mouthed. "The gist of it is, sir, Daniel got himself hitched to another alien and now is refusing to come back, again."
"From what I can understand, Jack, I'm not surprised. You gave him away!" Hammond fought to stay in his seat. If he stood up, there would be things thrown. "I want you to go back to that planet and get Dr. Jackson back. I don't care what it takes!"
"Uh, sir, I don't think you understand. Daniel isn't being held against his will." Jack cleared his throat when he saw the throbbing veins start up on Hammond's head. "He can leave any time he wants, he just doesn't want to."
Hammond turned sharply to Sam and Teal'c. "Get out."
Sensing the coming explosion, the two wisely retreated from the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daniel lay in his new bed in the wives' quarters. He had a room all to himself, but he wasn't the only one in this part of the palace. It wasn't a bad life, he could follow up on any field of study he wanted. The wives of the planet could run everything except the government.
Given time, he knew he could come to accept the fact that he no longer was Daniel Jackson, but Dhuji Jackson. The people of his new planet's family names were their first name. That was a battle he had lost, but not after a long and drawn out fight.
It was a fair system of government, to anyone who wasn't married. If you held the land, you were the husband. If you married in to a house, you were the wife, no exceptions. The wife didn't have to be a woman, as he had found out.
The opening of his bedroom door alerted him to the other one of his duties. Seeing the excited face of his new husband, Daniel sighed, the man was like a friggen rabbit! At least the man was hot. Rolling on to his back, he pushed aside the blanket. Tossing his hair, he stroke a pose he had once seen in a movie. "Take me, I'm yours."
~~~~~~Fifteen minutes later~~~~~~
Daniel flipped through one of the books he had by the bed. Snoring softly, with his arm and leg draped over Daniel, the king slept contentedly. Like the last time, it was over quickly. It was getting better, he was up to a full thirteen minutes now. By the end of the month, Daniel knew he could get the man to last a half hour. May be by then he wouldn't want to kill Jack so much.
Something hard pressed against his lower back. "Not now, I've got a headache."
Then again, he could find new things to kill Jack for.