Fic: Neuman's Own 1/1 Seinfield
To prove that my evil has always been and will always be, here is something I wrote back in 2004.
Title: Neuman's Own Author: Lopaka Tanu Disclaimer: I do not own Seinfield. Characters: Jerry, Neuman Words: 248 Prompt: Insanity Fandom: Jerry Seinfield Pairing: Jerry/Neuman Rating: Adult Warnings: Language Summary: Jerry confronts Neuman. Author's Note: Lose your lunch, maybe? "Neuman," Jerry muttered with contempt as he looked at the shorter, corpulent man in front of him.
"Jerry," Neuman acknowledged, his voice tight with the reservation of emotions. Moving closer, he thoughtfully looked the other man up and down. "You seem...."
"Yes, I am."
"Oh?"
Jerry nodded.
Raising an eyebrow impressed, Neuman's usual cocky grin returned. "So, what brings you down here?"
"I was looking for George, I heard he and you were cooking up a new hair brained scheme. I'm here to tell you it won't work. Elaine found out and she is going to tell everyone about it." His voice barely disguised his intense loathing of the fat man.
"Doesn't matter, George and I figured it would take too much work anyways."
Stepping the final breadth between them, Jerry sneer down at the other man. "That's what I figured, anything to do with work is too much for you."
"Take that back!"
"Make me!"
"You're asking for it!" When Jerry's upper lip curled into a snarl, Neuman threw himself at the taller man, wrapping his arms around him. They crashed to the floor, rolling so that Jerry was on top pinning the large man down. "I knew you always liked to be on top."
"Because you are just a little weak bi..."
"Don't say it, Jerry, make me feel it," Neuman pleaded.
Jerry paused in contemplation before nodding once. "All right, Neuman." Lowering his head, he growled the other man's name.