Agent Fox Mulder (i_want_2) wrote in multi_fiction, @ 2008-06-10 02:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | au, het, rated: adult, sky high, slash |
Fic: Willerella! 1/1 Sky High
Title: Willerella!
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Sky High.
Prompt: 12 Fantasy AU (Urban)
Fandom: Sky High
Pairing: Will/Warren - Will/Layla
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Language, Violence, Sexual Content
Summary: Fractured Fairy Tales presents...
Author's Note: Wanted: Fairy Godmother, Must Have Common Sense!
______________________________________
It was a glorious day, the birds were singing, the trees were gently swaying in the wind, there were only enough clouds in the sky to keep the earth cool, but not too cool. It was the day lovers dreamed about. It was a day people just sat around and sighed in contentment for. It was...the perfect day to skip school.
Warren, being the son of a villain, was under constant guard, lest he become one. It wasn't something many talked about, you see. People knew being a villain was genetic, like being a super hero was. It was a commonly accepted fact, after all. So, when he skipped school, he was immediately caught and punished for it.
Which is why he now sat in the detention room. Well, he was not sitting as actually sleeping in a desk chair.
Unbeknownst to him, a tinkling of pixie dust appeared in the air next to his desk. The trickle became a downpour as a hole opened up and a figure came falling out to land on her ass. "Ow! Damn it!"
Sneezing from the dust filled air, Warren awoke with red, puffy eyes. He sneezed three more times before he could focus on the new person.
Standing in a gaudy sequined mini skirt with black fishnet stockings and a tube top, a woman with gossamer wings, red acrylic nails, blonde hair (brown roots), and leathery skin from too much sun, flashed overly done eyelashes at him. She winked and started to chew her gum with her mouth open.
All Warren could do was stare at her in horror.
"Hi there, sugar tush, my name's Princess Gabby, your Fairly God Mother." Twirling her bottle blonde hair, she vapidly fluttered her eyes at him. When this didn't illicit a response, she sighed and glanced about the room. "I don't like being called yer god mother, that sounds like I'm old, and I'm so totally not."
"Are you my punishment?" Having regained his wits, Warren was two seconds from blackening this winged gnat.
"Punishment?" Staring at him blankly, which was her natural look, she tried to pull off a frown. Unfortunately a combination of too much sun and botox had made any serious expression impossible. "No, peach butt, I'm your fairly god mother. I'm here to grant your fondu desire/wish."
"You mean fondest?" Again, he received a blank look. From the way her eye lashes fluttered, he assumed she was angry. Well excuse him for actually paying attention in school. "I wish to be left alone. So go back to where you came and we'll call it done."
"Sorry, no can do, that isn't what your heart says." Reaching in to a faux-prada bag, she pulled out a scroll shaped device that turned in to a PDA. Sticking her tongue between her lips, she plopped down on the floor and started to fiddle with the buttons. "Okay, give me a second here. Just a minute. Uno momento portowhore."
Holding up his hand, Warren summoned tiny flames to his finger tips. One more stupid saying and he would scorch her, good guy or not.
"Ah! Found it!" Quickly flicking through her buttons, she scrolled up the screen. "All right, all right. Now, you are being persecuted for being who you are. You want to be a super hero, but find the hype not worth it. Your fondest wish is to be married to your best friend and have his children and love each other forever and ever." She made a high pitched warbling sigh. "Ah, true love."
"No, I don't." Eyes black in anger, he tossed a ball of fire at her.
Of course, her majikal fairly powers prevented her from being harmed, and she gracefully slipped under it without being aware of it. Actually, she had been trying to get up, slipped on a patch of fairy dust and landed on her ass again. Sitting up, she shook the dust from her hair and puffed. "Well, that wasn't very fun. I suppose I should get down to business, got forty more cases to do before lunch."
"You are..." He was silenced when she drew a wand from somewhere he didn't care to think about. "What are you going to do with that?" With this crazy fairly god mother, he wasn't sure what to expect. For all he knew, that wand could be a cold blaster and freeze him.
"This is my fairly wand." Waving it around, she laughed at Warren. He had held up a hand to ward her off. "Oh silly, this won't hurt a bit." Shaking it again, she hiccupped. Waving the air away, she frowned. Wouldn't do to let anyone know about her liquid breakfast. "Okay, let me see here. You want your best friend to love and marry you so you can have his children and grow old together. That is fairy simple, spell number three-nineteen."
Standing up, Warren summoned another ball of fire.
"That's good, it's easier if you stand." Crossing her eyes, she raised the wand and pointed it at Warren. "Hocus Pocus, ala kazam, wham bam thank you ma'am!"
Fairy dust shot out of the wand and hit Warren in the chest. Feeling funny, he started to swoon and the fire ball dissipated.
Sighing again with happiness, she clutched her wand. "You'll thank me for this, Layla. Promises!"
"I'm Warren, you bitch," he muttered as he fell backwards and the lights went out.
Not having heard a word Warren said, Princess Gabby summoned her fairy god mother transport. Instead of disappearing in a splash of pixie dust or fairy dust, a hole opened in the floor beneath her and she went falling through with a cry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first thing Warren became aware of was a hot body on top of him, thrusting against him between his legs. Eyes wide, he flailed his arms in an attempt to get the person off. Instead of the desired effect, it had the literal effect. The voice of the other person, a guy, went high pitched as he moaned. With a satisfied sigh, the guy went lip on top of him. Warren felt an uncomfortable wet cloth press against his ass and that was all it took to make him livid.
Throwing the guy off him, he reached around in the dark for his clothes. His ability to start fires momentarily forgotten in his rage and embarrassment, he continued blindly to search for leather.
Having landed on his back with a grunt, Will groaned. He took a moment to wipe the sweat from his forehead before sitting up and glaring at his bed. "Thanks a lot, Layla, what if my parents had been home?"
Now it was Warren's turn to groan. "I'm going to kill that bitch." In his newly redirected anger, Warren lit a fire with his hand. Seeing his clothes were on the floor next to Will, he slid off the bed and stalked over to them. He bent down and snatched them off the floor, pausing to send a glare to the disheveled Will. It took him a moment to realize Will was still in his clothes, but his shirt and pants were unbuttoned. "Heavy petting? You were dry humping me, Stronghold?"
Buttoning up his pants, Will quirked an eyebrow at Warren. "Well, yeah, we promised to wait until prom to go all the way, remember?" As he finished speaking, he was peering up at the other boy in confusion. He was confused at the sudden change in attitude from his girlfriend. "Are you okay, Lay? I didn't hurt you did I?" Will looked down at Warren's crotch to search for anything that might be wrong.
Glancing down, Warren did notice there was something on him, between his legs, on his thighs, even up to his stomach. Scrunching up his face, he shook his head. "Geeze, Stronghold! It's all over me! You are going pay for this!" Warren snatched a wadded up shirt off Will's dresser and used it to scrub the sticky, wet spunk off him. After he finished, he threw the shirt at Will's head then let his flame go out.
"What's wrong?" Taking the shirt off his head, Will stood up. He tried to block Warren's way, but got tossed on the bed for his trouble. "Layla, wait!"
"My name is not Layla, if you want to keep breathing, I suggest you remember that." This was not funny at all. He threw open the bedroom door and stood there for a moment. On the other side of Will's door were his parents, hand up to knock and a stern look on their face. Taking advantage of their shock, he pushed passed them and headed for the stairs. He had never been in Will's room, but he could make a good guess of it. He stopped only long enough at the top of them to put his clothes on, then started down them.
At the bottom, he heard the Strongholds moving to intercept him and he put on extra speed. He reached the front door, threw it open and rushed out. He didn't even bother to close the door in his haste. Out the front door and on the sidewalk in a flash, he hit the ground running. The last thing Warren wanted was to have to talk to his friend's parent's about their son dry humping him. Well, it hadn't ended up so dry.
Shuddering, he reached the end of the block and was about to turn left to head uptown when he saw something that made him stop dead in his tracks. There, on the corner, was his house. It wasn't as stately or grand as any of the other houses around, but there it was. He had almost forgot about that stupid bitch with the wand. "When I see her again, I will kill her slowly."
"Layla, hold on there!" Coming down the street, Josie Stronghold had a stern look on her face.
For a minute, Warren considered sending a fireball at her just to get her the hell away from him, but decided against it. Like usual, his house was dark. Thanking his mother's busy schedule, he ran up the steps of his house. The door was unlocked, which was a surprise given that he never left it that way. He threw the door closed behind him and slammed the dead bolt in place. He was angry to find the six other dead bolts and steel bard he had installed when ten were not there.
"Open this door, Layla, right this instant! I know you are in there young lady, don't ignore me."
His front door shook in a way that made him immediately decide to install his old lock set plus more. If his mother in this alternate world complained, too friggen bad. While the door held against Josie, he had time to look around his living room. What he found wasn't pretty.
Most of the dark motif he had heard some of the girl goths liked filled out his living room. There were black candles all along the walls, black silk curtains hung on the windows, his couch was leather and the cat wore a studded collar.
He had a cat?
"What kind of mother lets someone decorate like this?" He had a feeling his normally hard core mother was one of those dowdy marms that cowtoed to his every whim. Damn, was he going to hate this reality. "All right, remember what Professor Medulla said about Alternate Realities. Find the similarities." If the house was built the same it meant only a few fundamental changes were made. "If goth Layla has touched my albums she's dead."
"Layla Peace! Open this damn door now!"
Warren raised an eyebrow as his door shook hard again. So seeing her beloved baby boy humping the tramp next door made her mad. Okay, so may be this reality had some benefits. That was his thought until he glanced the candles again. Raising a hand on a whim, he lit the candles. "Of course, an appropriate use of my powers."
With a roll of his eyes, he moved on to the kitchen. At least Goth Layla hadn't changed his food of choice. He walked to the door off the pantry and threw it open. His room was a complete disaster. "Goth Layla dies too." Picking up a pair of tight white briefs from the floor, he glared at them. These too were spunk stained and a size too small for him. "Wilimina Stronghold, I hope you enjoy your last night as a guy."
Warren set the briefs down on and started grabbing posters off his wall. He threw them on top of the briefs along with seventeen black halter tops. The next thing to join the growing heap were candles, dozens of them, all black. A set of black silk curtains off his one window joined them. Bangles, spangles, scrunchies, earrings, nose rings, toe rings, anklets, bracelets, makeup kits, perfume bottles, hair products, all of it went to the pile. Next went the dead religion paraphernalia. He didn't worship cat goddesses from a dead culture.
After he had cleared his walls, floor, bed, tables, dresser, and chair off, he went in to the closet. He had three pairs of leather pants, a single pair of jeans, four pairs of black slacks for work, and six black dresses that weirdly were in his size. He grabbed the dresses and threw them on the pile with a battle cry. The floor of his closet were filled with black leather boots. "So may be she dies quickly, but I still kill Goth Layla."
As he bent down to inspect the boots, he spotted something shiny in one. He pulled it out, then tossed it over his shoulder to the pile. "Laylie likes her reefer. Explains the cat fetish." He thoroughly searched the rest of the boots and found half a dozen more bags. These too joined the pile.
Next was the dresser. Inside he found all sorts of lacy things that didn't even get an inspection before ending up on the pile. "At this rate, Layla would have gotten pregnant by..." Then the fairy freak's words came back to him. "Oh, that bitch is going to burn a long time." He dumped the silk underwear, but kept the leather thongs with studs, not everything Goth Layla owned was hers originally.
Finally, he checked the bottom drawer. It was his personal drawer in his reality. Once he checked it, he promptly closed it and looked up in askance. "Why do you hate me so much?" Pulling it open, he found dozens of condoms, lubricants, sex toys, anal beads, vibrating underwear, and two sets of Will's clothes. The entire contents of the drawer went on the pile, especially the tighty whities.
Slamming the drawer back in the bureau, he stormed out of his bedroom and in to the pantry. It was a special place, it connected him to the kitchen and thus the rest of the house. When he wanted a snack, he could just open his door and there it was. Also, when he wanted a trash bag, he could just open his door and there it was. It took four bags to get all the 'pile of shit' as he mentally dubbed it, then he was on his way.
Walking in to the kitchen, he used his foot to open the back door. If Goth Layla was a fire starter like him, she had a burn barrel. He wasn't a bit surprised to see the industrial sized metal barrel in his back yard. Not only was it well used, it was well cared for. He put the bags in the can and held out a hand. "Good bye, bitch!" The heat grew so intense it started to warp the sides of the barrel. Warren didn't care, just so long as Goth Layla's invasion of his home was over.
Walking back in to his house after he had made sure her shit was well and truly ash, Warren caught his reflection in the window in the door. For a while, all he did was stand there and look. Big breasts hugged in the snug shirt on the female him were the first thing he noticed. Next was the wide hips, not enough to make him look like a spoon, but definitely enough for the classic hour glass figure. His face was the worst, he had pouty lips.
Warren had pouty lips!
Even with his face scrunched up, he still looked hot to himself. It was no wonder that walking cum factory had been dry humping Goth Layla version of him. Will had been dry humping him. The mere thought of it made him shudder. Stronghold DNA accosting his person was the last thing Warren wanted. Figuring it was best he didn't eat anything that night else it might end up decorating the walls, he went to bed and shut out the light.
He was almost asleep when he realized back in his reality it was just about time for classes to be letting out. He didn't care. Sleep was sleep. Warren was snoring a few seconds later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Rise and shine, sleepy head!" It came from the most psychotically cheerful, crack induced voice he had ever heard. Poking her platinum blonde head in his doorway with a smile that split from side to side, this psycho version of his mother disturbed his sleep. Upon turning on his bedroom light, his mother froze. "Layla? What happened?"
"Layla's dead." Rolling over, he pulled the covers over his head. Black silk sheets were going just as soon as he found something in a nice cotton. Silk was definitely disgusting against his body.
"Oh, and by what should I call my child who now sleeps in her bed?" Perky and irritating, she smiled with amusement at Warren.
"I am Warren Peace, nice to meet you. Now fuck off, Betty Crocker, I'll get up when I'm ready." Warren sent a jet of flames to burn the light bulb.
Smile only slightly dimmed, Tonya Peace walked to the door. "Okay, dear, I just thought I would tell you breakfast was ready." She was about to shut the door when a nervous twitch in the corner of her left eye made her stop. "Oh, dear, if you have the time, I would like to discuss that nice Stronghold boy you are seeing."
"I'm going to be killing him today. No need to worry about unplanned grand children. Good night." He threw in the last to make it clear she was bothering him.
If possible, Tonya's smile grew in size. "That's good to know, dear. After all, your father and I were forced to marry because I became in the family way. Good night, dear." She closed the door and started to hum.
That made him wide awake. His mom and dad, a shot gun wedding? That actually made a lot of sense. Warren grinned. At least he made this psycho mom happy. When he got back to his reality, he would be sure to tell his mom she had nothing to worry about in the grand children department. No kids, ever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hair carefully pulled back in a black silk cord he found in a jewelry box he hadn't got to last night, Warren walked topless in to the kitchen. "Mom, you got a shirt I can borrow? I burned that shit in my room last night and need something til I can go sho..." He was distracted by the sound of a plate dropping. "Mom?"
Glancing around to where he heard the plate, instead of his mom, he saw the entire Stronghold family. Will was clearly ogling him and had a hard on tenting his pants. "Right, Layla's a girl." Turning to where he heard his mom's distinctive humming, he raised an eyebrow. "Do you?"
"Sure, La... I mean Warren, dear. There are some blouses in the bureau, or if they don't fit, your father's old shirts are in the box underneath the bed." Not bothering to look up, Tonya knew her daughter was nude from the rise in temperature in the room. As a pyroknetic, she was sensitive to such things.
"Thanks, mom." Warren placed a kiss on Tonya's cheek and slipped passed her to the bedroom that was off the other side of the kitchen. Instead of hitting her bureau, he went directly to the box under the bed. If he was correct, everything he needed would be in it. This time, a parent didn't disappoint him with their appearance. His father's taste in bands was a little behind in the times, but the shirts and leather jacket were the same style as today. He pulled on one of the shirts and picked up the box.
Entering the kitchen, he walked passed a flaming red Josie, a pink Will, and a very interested Steve Stronghold. Deciding to be a bitch, he raised his shirt and flashed the elder Stronghold with a wink. Hey, it wasn't his body, what did he care? Besides, not like it mattered, because Layla was a slut in this reality. He left Will with a dumb expression, Steve with a happy expression he tried covering with a cough, and Josie burning with hatred. Damn, he was good.
He put the box on the now empty dresser and quickly sorted his father's shirts in his drawers. With that, he put on his leather jacket, let his hair down, and winked at himself in the mirror. He spent the next few minutes messing with his mirror boobs. While his hands handled his muscular pecs, his mirror hands fondled the mirror breasts. With a snort, he jiggled them. Just something about them made him want to play around, like a kid with a new toy.
They shimmied, they shook, they rotated counter to each other. He was Warren Peace, titty twirler extraordinair! Snickering, he let the fun bags sink in the shirt. If they were real, he would probably be concerned about them being loose, but they weren't, so he let them sit under the shirt. Knowing some of the teachers at school, he would probably get a lecture about why girls should wear bras. But he wasn't a fucking girl, the Layla image was just that.
As he exited the pantry, he came face to face with the irate Josie Stronghold. Rolling his eyes, he pushed passed her to stare at June Cleaver... his mom. "I'm going to school now."
"All right, dear. I packed your breakfast as I know you like to leave early." Holding up the paper bag, she held up her cheek. She sighed when he gave her a quick peck. "Good bye, Warren, have a nice day."
It made him shudder, this prim and proper version of his bad ass mother. She was the first person to get him a biker jacket when he was twelve. His mother had been the one to tell him that other people's opinions didn't count for shit, her words. His mother was 2-Tone, the Pyro Queen. Now, he felt sick, she was Tonya, the house wife.
Walking out the front door, he had almost closed it when Will slid passed. Will stared at him in confusion as he closed the door.
"What happened, Layla?" Scratching at his ear, Will peered up at what he thought was his girlfriend with confused eyes. Despite the past two years of school, he hadn't grown a single inch. "Last night you started acting weird, and now, I don't even know who you are."
Putting a scorching finger against Will's chest, Warren's eyes narrowed until they almost disappeared. "Listen good, Stronghold, I'm going to tell you this once and only once, I am not that vapid twit you have been dating. If you call me that name one more time, I will turn you in to cinder."
"Baby Doll?" Will searched the eyes of his dearest love for any trace of the love they had shared and only found cold rage. He took a step back. "You aren't Layla."
"No shit." Adjusting his school bag, Warren stepped off his front porch and walked down the front path. He had a principal to talk to before he spoke to Professor Medulla about getting him back to his own reality.
~~~~~~~~~Mean While, In Another Reality~~~~~~~~
The real Layla watched in horror as her friend Warren Peace mauled her boyfriend Will Stronghold. From the way Will was reacting, it wasn't a bad thing to him. Anger flooding her at that, she summoned several vines to restrain the slut crushing her boyfriend.
"Hey, what the hell?" Glaring around her, Goth Layla or GLayla, as she will hence forth be called, searched for the source of the vines. Catching sight of Layla, she summoned flames to her finger tips like cigarette lighters. "What the fuck is the meaning of this, Ron?"
"Ron? What have you been smoking, Warren?" Out of spite, she made the vines tighten around slutty GLayla.
GLayla felt her anger burn, it made her want to write bad poetry, listen to odd music groups no body ever heard of, and bay at the moon. Also, she wanted to burn the vines. Unfortunately for her, she never quite managed to master a controlled burn. Instead of setting fire to the vines, she lit her clothes on fire. Suddenly, she was covered from head to toe in ice.
"Thanks, Oksana." Layla smiled at the ice girl as she skated away on a trail of ice. Remembering why she was mad in the first place, Layla turned to GLayla again. "Setting yourself on fire now? Gee, you must really be messed up, Warren. I think we need to get you to Nurse Specks immediately."
"My name is Layla, plant boy!" Trying again, GLayla managed to slightly scald one vine, but left the rest untouched. Sinking in defeat, she started to pout. "Willy, Ron is being mean to me, make him cut it out!"
Will Stronghold just stared in horror. Warren Peace being a weak, pouty thing was just too scary to comprehend. What the hell was wrong with his friend? "Layla, I think you're right, we need to get him to Specks fast."
"Willy Baby?" GLayla sulked when Will took a step back.
~~~~~~~~~~~Fractured Reality~~~~~~~~~~
On the bus ride to school, kids kept giving him strange looks. He nearly had to vaporize three of them just to get them to turn around. Aside from no Layla, every thing and everyone were the same. It was a good sign, that meant that Professor Medulla could help him. On the far side of the bus, Will kept giving him sad looks. Will was one puppy Warren felt like kicking.
They were friends normally, but waking up to having your best friend dry humping you wasn't conducive to a healthy friendship. It tended to linger on the mind and the smell stayed with him. Worse yet, his friend didn't see anything wrong with that. When he got back to his reality, he was going to have a long discussion with Will about healthy attachments.
The driver for Will's bus was a complete fool. He spent more time trying to remember where he was than actually driving. Warren was glad this would be the only time he rode in this bus. His normally mild disposition was being tested severely as he was thrown against the side of the bus for the twelfth time. This time, it was the final time as the bus crash landed at the school.
Not bothering to wait for the driver to remember how the door worked, Warren stood up and threw open the emergency exit. With a sigh of relief, his feet hit the pavement and he started for the school. People all around him who usually gave him a wide berth, were moving in close to his personal space and actively trying to engage him with talk.
"So, Layla, this guy in Medulla's class, I won't name names but you can probably guess who..." Was all the golden haired girl got out before she found herself shoved in to another gaggle of students.
"Out of my way!" It was worse than he thought. These people were almost exactly the same, only with less brains. Who talked like that? Probably guess who? If he survived this, it would be a miracle.
He was halfway up the front steps when a blur appeared on his right. He lashed out on pure instinct, flinging up a wall of flames between him and the attacker.
The boy dodged to avoid it and ran in to the front door head first.
Standing over the now unconscious boy, Warren sneered. "Speed." After kicking the boy in the rear, he walked in to the school, unaware of the silence that had fallen over the courtyard.
Stretching his way up to Will, Lash stretched his features in to a large glare. "What's with your psycho girlfriend?"
"I have no idea, but that isn't Layla." Will cringed when Lash slugged him in the arm. He knew it had been coming, the other boy always tried something. Despite the fact it didn't hurt, pretending it did was better than having something worse done later, like his science experiment exploding in his face.
"Well find a way to leash her or face the consequences geek!" Stretching his body over the students, Lash walked over to pick up Speed.
"Man, I don't envy you anymore." Face full of hair, the green haired boy standing next to Will summoned a rose to his nose. After inhaling from it, he felt calmer. "Your girlfriend has completely flipped this time, Will."
"I don't know what's wrong, Ron!" Shrugging under his bag, Will faced his best friend. They had known each other since the second grade, spending most of their time together until Will had met and fallen for Layla. Since then, Ron and Layla had spent most of their time trying to monopolize Will. "It started last night. We were... studying and then she just flipped on me. At first I thought she was mad because my parents had caught us... studying, but I don't know now."
"Sounds like Layla needs to have her head checked. Remember Royal Pain last year? How she tried to seduce you away from Layla and Layla got all moody about it? It wasn't her fault, Royal Pain had created a mind altering device that made her, well, frankly, a bitch." Scratching at his chin, Ron grabbed a bug out of his hair and ate it. "I think we really need to see Professor Medulla about this."
"Good idea." But another thing also bothered Will. "Since when has Layla been able to summon a ball of fire, let alone a wall of it? The most she could manage was to light the... candles she has in her room." Coughing, he reddened that he had almost let slip the fact they did more than smoke smores in her room.
"That was definitely something weird." Eating another bug, Ron made the roses around him sink back in to the earth, then walked in to the school with Will.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Walking through the halls, Warren got the full effect of being a large breasted girl in a teenage boy infested building. Every eye was upon him and many of the boys held books over their crotches. He was tempted to put on a light show for them, but he was on a mission. Fun would have to wait for another day.
He shoved his way through a gaggle of fluff headed cheer leaders going on about their new shoes and decked a boy who thought it would be okay to run a hand up his back side. It was the toughest time he had ever had in this building. With much determination and more than his fair share of intimidation, he reached the Mad Science Lab. The sign canceling classes lasted all of three seconds under the intense blaze. Steel was hard to melt.
Spinning, Warren kicked the door in. "Medulla, you had better be in here or I'm turning your lab in to slag!"
"Who dares to disturb my evil genius... Oh, it's just you, Layla." Raising the mask of his soldering helmet, Medulla shook his head. "A little dramatic, aren't we?"
"Don't mess with me today, Medulla." Throwing his book bag in the trash can, Warren adjusted his leather jacket to make it more comfortable. "Some crazy bitch with a wand made me appear to be a girl and put me in this cracked reality. If you know how to fix this, I promise to be the best student in your class til I graduate in three months."
Helmet off and soddering forgotten, Medulla moved towards Warren with an interest bordering on psychotic. "Interesting. Are you really Layla or is your story true?"
"My name is Warren Peace!" Warren felt like hitting something. If someone called him by that ditzy bimbo's name again he would hurt them.
"Warren Peace, ah, so wonderful!" Pulling out an eye piece from his lab coat pocket, Medulla slipped it over his head and set to examining Warren from a distance. As he grew in confidence, he crept closer. "What have you noticed that is different, aside from the obvious fact."
"You mean like the fact that my mom has a Stepford label?" For the sake of getting home, Warren reined in his natural instinct to hurt someone for looking at him this way. It creeped him out to be Medulla's lab experiment. "The alternate version of myself is female, stupid, has apparently no taste, smokes pot, and is jonesing to carry Will Stronghold's baby."
That last one made Medulla falter in his step. Clearing his throat, he put aside the visual device. "There is nothing in the visual spectrum that says you are anything but female, La... Warren."
"Unless I am looking in a reflective surface, I see myself as I am. I even stood to piss this morning." That had been tricky a thing. Until he actually did it, he was almost ready to believe he couldn't any more thanks to his reflection.
"Absolutely fascinating! I think I might have something to counteract this!" Spinning on his heel, Medulla searched the shelves of his opened armory. When he found it on the bottom shelf, he grinned and held it up. "Here we go, Mr. Peace. If you will stand over by the tarp, I can reveal the inner you!"
"Tarp?" Looking to the back of the room, he saw that a large section of the room had been covered in tarps. No doubt it was part of Medulla's experiments. With some reluctance, he walked over to the tarp. He tossed his hair out of his eyes, struck a pose he had practice in the mirror that morning, and puckered his lips. "Ready."
Frowning, Medulla took aim. Things would go so much easier if Layla/Warren wasn't such a slut. As he was about to pull the trigger, his lab door opened. Too late for whoever it was, if they wanted to stop him, the ray had already hit Warren. Much to his fascination, instead of the nothing that would have happened if Layla/Warren had been lying, the slutty girl resolved itself in to a silly posed young man.
In the doorway, Will dropped his bag. It took several attempts before he could speak. "What have you done to my Layla?"
"That would seem to be the question." Putting his ray gun back on the bottom shelf, Medulla took a scanning device off the sixth shelf. He held it up and began running it through the air. "Multidimensional atoms. A very heavy glammer, enforced with nanotech. Whoever did this was very intelligent."
"Errr, try again." After checking to make sure his body was still male, Warren strode towards the front of the mad science lab. He enjoyed seeing his reflection in the sink fixtures. "You do good work, Medulla, thanks."
"Well, if they weren't the smartest person in the world, they had access to someone who is. The level of sophistication behind this technology is astounding. Multidimensional travel, glammer cloaks, it all speaks very highly of someone." Having slipped in to lecture mode, Medulla grinned. "So, what do you wish me to do about it?"
"Send me home, of course." Warren was starting to remember why Medulla annoyed him.
"Oh, fine." Picking up a large gun shaped device, he turned the key on the handle and aimed it at Warren. "This will scan your dimensional pattern, locate your home dimension and then send you there. It should take a few..." The device beeped and shot out a white light that hit Warren, whom disappeared. "Seconds. Oh well. Back to work."
As Medulla disappeared in his private lab, Will sank to the floor in shock. Beside him, Ron wasn't much better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Will was about scream from sheer horror as Warren made yet another kissy face at him when a bright white flash filled the Mad Science Lab. The crowds had forced him to take Warren here instead of directly to nurse Specks. He was glad of that as Medulla had restraints. Not that that deterred this horny Warren. In fact, being restrained only seemed to make him want Will more.
Appearing at the front of the room, Warren looked around him. "Did he do it? Am I home?"
"Warren?" Will started to feel faint at the sight of two Warrens.
"Son of a..." Warren trailed off at seeing another him restrained to a lab table. Putting two and two together, he grinned. "Hello, Layla."
"Warren?" The real Layla, who had been at Will's side, turned to face the new Warren.
"Quiet, plant girl!" Stalking up to GLayla, Warren's grin grew in maliciousness. "How sweet, he even gift wrapped you." His hands started to glow with flames. "I've been looking forward to this."
"AND THEN...."
"That will be quite enough, Magenta, you may sit down." Clearing her throat, Mrs. (Gabriela) Peterson, the Literature teacher for SkyHigh, glared over her tastefully accessorized glasses. She pointed to Magenta's seat. "I am giving you a C for effort."
"That's not fair, I worked all night on that for two days!" Glaring at Mrs. Peterson, Magenta felt the by now normal urge to stab her eyes out with that friggen pencil she always chewed on. "You said the assignment was to write a story with people we know. I did that! Now don't take it out on me because you didn't like it. That's called discrimination, and as you know, the school doesn't..."
"All right! You get an A. Just please, sit down!" Writing down the A in her book, Mrs. Peterson also included a notation to increase the work load for the class. Apparently this lot had way too much time on their hands.
Taking her seat next to a grinning Warren, Magenta smirked. "What did you think?"
"Cool. Though, I didn't like the part where you made Will..." He was silenced by a look from Mrs. Peterson.
After the teacher had turned her back, Magenta slid closer to Warren and whispered. "Too bad she didn't let me finish, you finally caught up to Princess Gabby and did all sorts of horrible things to her."
"I heard that! Magenta, detention, now!"
"Bitch."
THE END....................
~~~~~~Six Classes Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Warren walked in the great hall of Hogwarts, his robes bulging around the midsection. Black eyes alight with internal flames, he found the source of his ire. Pointing his wand at the Brunette Gryffindor, he summoned all his rage and magic. "Stronghold, you sniveling little coward! I will curse you beyond the vail for this offense. That I, a Peace, would bare your offspring, is a deathly offense! Prepare to meet my wrath you..."
"F! Layla, I told you no popular media! Sit down!" Mrs. Peterson made a mental note to have her resignation on Principal Powers' desk in the morning. Fighting evil doers was definitely less hazardous to her health than teaching high school literature.
Sitting down, Layla glared daggers at the teacher. Across the isle from her, Will was doing the same, only towards her.
..................................THE END!