InsaneJournal

Fics: The Five Deaths of Malcolm Reed 1/1 Enterprise
Title: The Five Deaths of Malcolm Reed
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of Enterprise.
Characters: Reed, Tucker, T'Pol, Archer
Wordcount: 2086
Prompt: Drown Reed Month
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairing: Tucker/Reed
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Language, Violence, Sexual Content, Character Death
Summary: Five ways Malcolm Reed drowned.
Author's Note: DO NOT READ IF SENSITIVE OR DRINKING SOMETHING!
______________________________________


1. The Tub.

It had been a long day at work. The Mayweather Account was pressing him for new dynamics on their security system and it was driving him to sleeplessness. In an effort to regain some of that rest tonight, he had swung by the apothecary in Little Asia. Old Lady Sato had given him an herbal mixture he was supposed to put in a pan and boil to help him relax. Wanting a nice long hot bath, he decided to kill two birds one stone.

Opening the brown paper package, Reed dumped the herbs in the whirlpool tub. He swished his hand among the herbs to help them sink. They smelled of Lilac and Jasmine, tickling his nose. Slipping out of his boxers, he put first one foot in the tub, then the other. As he started to slide in to the tub, he took a deep breath.

The splash he made as he went down sent water all across the bathroom floor. Out cold before he even hit the water, Reed buffeted from one side of the tub to the other as his body was pushed by the jets. A call to his apartment the next day would lead to the building manager, Mr. Archer, to finding the body.


2. The Plumber.

It was a real beauty, the Furgeson 200. She was the top of her line and the last of her model ever made. Five gallons at a time went through her when flushed and Malcolm Reed was in heaven. In fact, so much water went through her that it was almost impossible to get a clog. Almost, but not quite.

Standing with hands on hips, Malcolm glared at the toilet. It was the damnedest thing, he had never seen a clog like that. From what he could tell, it hadn't been flushed in two days. Two days of constant partying. That was why he was wearing a gas mask.

The kid's parents would be home soon and he had to get the clog out fast. An extra five hundred was in it for him if he could get it done and his tools cleaned up within a hour. From what he knew, the damned toilet should have been able to handle the backload despite the overload. It just wasn't going down, and it had over flowed when tried.

Walking up to the toilet, arm length rubber gloves at the ready, he took a steadying breath. He was a plumber, six weeks of training, two years of apprenticeship, and five years of being out on his own had prepared him for this. It was time to take the plunge...er.

Bending down, Reed kneeled in front of the toilet. In went his hand, in through the sodden mass. Down went his fingers touching things he didn't think about. He had to reach the bottom, the drain. At last, he came upon the goal. At the bottom, he found the source of the clog. Reaching for the cloth, he started to tug.

When the cloth wouldn't give, he tugged harder. It held firm against his onslaught. Gritting his teeth, Reed stuck his other hand in the toilet. After gripping the cloth tight in both hands, he braced his feet on either side of the toilet. With a mighty heave, he tried to jerk the cloth free of the toilet. As he jerked, the mighty shit suction of the toilet seized his arms and pulled him down.

It was with wide eyes that Reed went face first in to the mass. He tried to raise his head, but the shaking had jarred the toilet seat. The heavy porcelain seat fell upon his head, knocking him unconscious. Unable to move, Malcolm Reed's mask and face sank beneath the sludge in the toilet.

Twenty minutes later, Travis Mayweather came in to check on the plumber. Finding the man face down in his toilet, unmoving, he knew his summer of partying had ended with the life of that British plumber. "Oh, shit!"


3. The Drink.

Malcolm Reed, foreman of the brewery, knew something was up. After following the shifty owner, Suval, in to the brewery, he knew that his suspicions were confirmed. Holding up his camera, he began to record Suval's activities.

"Mr. Archer, I knew you would be a problem from the moment you arrived. Did you really think that I hadn't made you for a fed?" Cracking his knuckles, Suval stuck out a fist to raise Archer's chin. "You'll look at me when I am talking to you, boy."

"What's the matter, pops, feeling vulnerable, need affirmation of your existence?" Snickering, John continued to laugh even after Suval belted him one.

In anger, Malcolm looked for something to use as a weapon against Suval and his goons. With this tape, he had enough proof to take down that bastard and it was high time he did it. Putting the camera on top of the beer vat, he searched over it for anything to use.

"Well what have we got here?"

Before Reed could react, two men had seized him by the arms. Turning him around, he came face to face with the old grinning devil himself. "Hello, Julie, working late?"

All the humor drained from Suval's face. "For the last time, my name is Julian, you son of a bitch! Stick him in the vat!" Pointing to the large beer vat behind them, Suval kicked Reed in the nuts.

Doing as ordered, one of the goons opened the beer vat while the other held Reed still. Despite a massive struggle, they pushed him in to the empty vat and sealed it behind him.

When they had finished with Reed, Suval walked over to the controls. With a grin for Archer, he pressed the buttons to turn the equipment on and the vat began to feel with prebeer mass. "I think I'll call this the Reed Label Beer." Turning back to Archer, Suval raised his gun. "Now, to deal with a thorn in my side. I'm going to make you suffer before you die, Archer"

"Thanks, Suval, that's all I needed to hear. Trip, now!" Archer surged in the arms of the goons who held him. As he was about to take another hit from one of them, the doors on the brewery blew open. He took advantage of the surprise and knocked out both his goons. Soon, all the goons and Suval were either unconscious or under arrest.

In the melee, Archer knew he had forgotten something. It wasn't until two days later when the camera was found that anyone noticed the quiet foreman was gone. Three weeks later, a crew was scheduled to clean the vat after the finished beer had been drained away and bottled.

Remember, Reed Label Beer is Awesome!


4. The Crackhead.

An intruder had been stealing things from the galley for weeks. In the months since they had entered the Delphic Expanse, supplies were scarce. Therefore, when something went missing from the kitchen, it was his duty to apprehend them and make sure they were punished severely before being handed over to the captain for further punishment. So far, all it had been was random utensils.

That is, until the food packets started to disappear.

Several foil packets of freeze dried fruits had gone missing in the past three days, specifically, pineapple. Every time he had set up cameras, each with increasing degrees of sophistication, they had ended up either turned off or destroyed. No one would admit to bringing aboard an animal and all of Phlox's were accounted for. That left one option, multi-dimensional aliens were taking all the shiny objects from the galley, one at a time.

And he planned to put a phase pistol cap in their alien asses.

That was why he was now sitting here in the dark with his phase pistol at the ready. To be safe for the rest of the crew, he hadn't told anyone about his theory. If the word got around, who knows where the aliens had listening devices, they might change their tactics. An unknown Modus Operandi was very dangerous. No, better by far if he went at this alone. That way he could always lie later about shooting first and asking questions later.

He'd teach them to steal the last packet of pineapple glaze!

Light in the distance put him on alert. There was movement at the far end of the messhall. Picking up his phase pistol, he took aim. The shadow started to move again and he fired. It moved too fast for him to get off a second shot and he lost it in the dark. Turning up the blast of the weapon to kill, he started to turn around when he was hit from behind.

He fired at the shadow as it moved towards the galley, hitting the water tank in the process. Climbing to his feet, Reed ran for the galley. There was a can of pineapple without a label, he would be damned if he let that alien take it! As he rounded the corner to enter the galley, he was hit from above and knocked in to the water tank.

The shadow held him down in the water tank as he continued to fire his phase pistol. As his struggles deceased, the shadow refused to let up. It was determined to end the threat here and now. Finally, it was over.

Lights came on in the mess hall and MACO's started to fill the room. Guns at the ready, they searched the damaged area for an intruder.

"Don't shoot! It's me, Commander T'Pol. I have found Lieutenant Reed's body." Standing over him, she scanned the galley for any kind of recording device. Not finding one, she quickly grabbed the only can on the shelf without a label and stuffed it down the back of her uniform. "Help me get him to Dr. Phlox!" As she bent over to pull his body from the water, she whispered in his ear, "the pineapple is mine!"


5. The Lover.

Commander Tucker groaned in pleasure as Reed continued to suck the end of his dick. It was the most wonderful sensation in all the world to have that man's lips wrapped around him. He could die a happy man if Reed would just keep it up. "Oh, god, Malcolm, so good, so good. Don't stop, babe."

Grumbling in the back of his throat, Reed wanted to tell him to shut up. That kind of talk only served to irritate him and getting irritated made him want to grind his teeth. Grinding teeth was very bad when your lover's cock was between them.

"Love you, love you, love you, please, keep it up, please, please please." Whining, Trip wrapped an arm over his eyes. It was so damned good! He knew from the moment he saw those luscious lips their owner knew how to give good head. "You're gonna make me come, love you babe!"

Reed tried to growl at him to shut up. He was almost ready to just spit Trip out and let the man finish on his own.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come!" Trips eyes rolled up in his head.

Reed opened his mouth to scream at Trip to shut the hell up when Trip came. Eyes wide, Reed began to gag. Trip spurted again. Clutching his throat, Reed released Trip's cock. He sat back on his haunches trying to cough up the spunk. Making choking motions, he thumped at Trip's thigh.

Rolling over, Trip kept the arm over his eyes. "All right, Malcolm, all right, your turn!" He stuck out his ass and flexed his cheeks. "Make me see stars."

Seeing them himself, Reed stumbled for the comm. It was painfully obvious Trip wasn't going to be any help. Halfway to it, his limbs grew too heavy to move and he collapsed to the deck. He twitched a few times then went still.

A minute later, Trip lifted his head and scanned the bed for his lover. "Malcolm? Where'd you go?" Sitting up, Trip looked around in growing alarm. "Malcolm?"

~~~~~~~~~~

As Phlox laid the autopsy report on Archer's desk, he frowned. "He drowned."

"From what Trip said, he choked."

"On the contrary, Captain, his lungs were filled with a viscous fluid. Therefore, Lieutenant Reed's death is officially labeled a case of Accidental Drowning. What the fluid was, due to the private nature, I don't think anyone need know."



THE END............................