Agent Fox Mulder (i_want_2) wrote in multi_fiction, @ 2009-04-05 00:35:00 |
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Entry tags: | due south, rated: adult, slash |
Fic: He Talks To Me 1/1 Due South
Title: He Talks To Me
By: Lopaka Tanu
Fandom: Due South
Disclaimer: I do not own Due South.
Sequel: sequel to 'When You Say Nothing At All'.
Warning: Violence
Pairing: RayK/Fraser
Summary: Ray rationalizes what he has done, but will it be enough?
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He looks at me with wide eyes. He knows. I try to speak, but the words don't come. I am with him and that is all that matters. The world is crazy that way. Oh well, I guess he doesn't really love me. Hell, it was fun while it lasted.
My breath hitches in my chest at the pained look on his face. Oh Frase, don't look at me that way. You know it hurts me, the way you look some times. Your heart is too good for this; don't let my actions cause you pain. I just wanted to protect you. Can you ever forgive me?
I feel cold; the look he is giving me doesn't help either. It must be the weather, because it is freezing out here. He is pleading with his eyes, begging me to deny that I did it. Nope, not gonna happen. I did it, and I would do it again.
Resignation fills his eyes before the light leaves them. Ah well, not like I would be around much longer to see them anyways. It would have been nice to just hear him say he loved me for once. Damn him and his Mountie standards.
The ground is so damned cold. Why today? Why did he have to come out here today? I was content with the way were. This goes to show he doesn't care, never have, never will. So here it happened, he should have just listened to me. I knew what was going to happen, I didn't betray you partner, and he was not going to just let it happen.
Why do you have to be so damn loving? Your fellow man is nothing but shit, but you got to have an open mind and heart. I guess that is why I fell for you. Kick me in the chest, because all you do is crush my heart with your looks.
Oh no, he has his big, sad Mountie eyes looking at me. I can't be mad at him for long when he does that. Bastard.
On my knees in front of a Mountie, unfucking believable. How I longed to be here, but to no avail. He didn't want me, still doesn't, I know, for all he does is stand there in shock. What, no reprimand, no questions about why I did it? Figures. The last moments as our partnership crumbles around us, you are stone silent.
Why is it so cold? He must have seen my shiver, because his jacket is now around my shoulders. Next moment he is holding me in his arms, tightly to his chest. It feels good, like I could rest here forever.
But it is not meant to be. He will let me go soon, and I will simply fade away again. Obscure in the moments of time, like the moment since the clothes pig came back. Ben was so happy. I hated that man right from the moment I saw him. From then on out, Fraser was at his side morning, noon and night. Little old Ray Kowalski was left in the lurch again.
So, there is the answer to your question. Why did I do it? Because I love you, and you don't love me. Are you happy? Does it make you feel better knowing how pathetic I am, that I would risk it all for one moment? Well, it was worth it. From the moment I had you in my arms to the moment you realized what happened.
I tried to tell you he couldn't be trusted, even saw it coming. But you wouldn't listen, had to be the high and mighty Mountie. Trust the inherent good in all things. Hope you learned your lesson; because this one cost you a lot more than a few days in the hospital.
My chest tightens with unshed tears. You should have listened to me. For one god damned time, why couldn't you listen to me, trust me?
Ah hell, what does it matter, it's over now. Good bye Fraser, hope you have a nice life with-out me. What? He is actually saying something? The nerve of that guy. He is begging me not to go. Fuck you Frase, you turn your back on me, now it is time you paid the price of that betrayal.
With what strength I can muster, I try to break free from his arms. Damn Mountie freaks and their strong arms. Just let me go. Let. Go. Please, I can't take any more pain. Let me go.
He pulls me closer as his body shakes with sobs. Why do I have to be so weak? Okay, cut the hysterics, I forgive you. Oh gross, he is getting his tears and run off all over my collar, that will never come out. Like glue. Oh he is speaking again.
Wha...
He loves me???
Too bad, it might have been nice. I am just too tired to continue this. You are just going to have to learn to live without me. One day you will get over it. Oh, just stop crying, not like I'm dying. Why is it so damned cold? Being the middle of July, it should not be this cold. So why do I feel so cold? Leave me alone Frase, I'm just a little ti...red....
Black.
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Lights flash in blues and reds as the police canvass the area for clues. All is silent and move in slow motion. A dark feeling hangs in the air like a thick fog. He looks up; they are trying to get him to let go. He can't, don't they see that. If he lets go, it will all be real.
Ray had tried to warn him, why couldn't he listen? Their first assignment together in the three months since Ray Vecchio had returned, Kowalski had looked like he had been this side of hell for all that time. Why hadn't he seen it?
Today was just supposed to be a time off for them, a simple cruise around the neighbor hood before he went home. The first time he had not been partnered with Vecchio. The Italian had been out of town for the day because of family problems.
Ray had told him let it be, that the uniforms could handle the simple robbery. Being the responsible man he was, he charged in head first, not thinking but that he might help. The gunman had not been alone, and he was not above using his gun for intimidation. He didn't think, just acted. Ray had told him to do as the gunman said, but he shook his head and turned his back to them. To the man that had a gun pointed at him, believing that he would not shoot him in the back. He was right. He wouldn't shoot him.
He had heard the gun fire, the door bell ring out it's abuse, the screams of the crowd, seen their falling to the floor, smelled the sterile mixture used to clean the floor, but he never felt the bullet. Instead he had heard Ray. He had asked why he never listened to him.
Turning back guiltily, he tried to explain to Ray, but the man wasn't listening. He was angry, angry at him, but not for long. Because he soon fell to his knees, right in front of him. That is when he noticed Ray had been exactly behind him when the gun went off.
Ray had taken the bullet for him.
He had tried to tell Ray to hang on, to stay with him, for him. Ray wanted him to let go, even tried to force him to. But he never would, he told Ray that he loved him, hoping that would make him stop struggling. He had. In that moment he knew Ray forgave him, that he loved him too, and that is all that mattered. He swore to Ray he would never let go, so he won't. A Mountie always keeps his word.
Never let go, must never let him go. Love Ray, never let him go. Love Ray, won't leave him, will do as he said, never let go.
The End.