Agent Fox Mulder (i_want_2) wrote in multi_fiction, @ 2009-02-11 18:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | golden girls, het, rated: teen |
Fic: Sudden Death 1/1 Golden Girls
Title: Sudden Death.
Author: Lopaka Tanu
Prompt: 24 Writer's Choice - Multiple Deaths
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: The Waiting Room in heaven is packed.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
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Rose was the first to arrive. It had been a long, good life for her. She enjoyed most of it. She would have lived longer but for those mean kids at the Y. They had put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. Drowning wasn't the most painful way to go, but it sure was embarrassing.
Taking her number, she took a seat and decided to wait for the others. It wouldn't be that long, time in heaven passed different than on Earth. Sure enough, Dorothy came along next.
Blinking, she glanced about her in question. It was different than what she was expecting. Then again, she hadn't expected to die that way or that day. A grin came to her lips. Oh yes, the old saying was correct. It was a good day to die. Taking her number, she found a seat next to Rose.
"Hey, Dorothy." Rose smiled at her friend and welcomed her with a hug.
"Hey Rose." Dorothy returned the hug.
Feeling stupid, but curious, Rose ducked her head. "How did you go? As you must know, I drowned."
"I know, honey. It was a lovely funeral." Patting Rose's hand, Dorothy smiled fondly. It had been beautiful. And blessedly silent. Not that she would tell Rose that. "I was celebrating my good fortune by... eating a large banana split. I think I must have choked on... the banana."
"Oh, that sounds okay. So, what were you celebrating?"
"She stuck me in a home!" Hitting Dorothy with her bag, Sophia took the seat on the other side of Rose. "Four miserable years I spent in that hellhole, thank you very much, Dorothy!"
"It was my pleasure, Ma." Gripping Sophia's hand, she made sure to squeeze it hard.
Oblivious to Sophia and Dorothy's interactions, Rose wrapped them both in her arms. "Isn't this wonderful, Girls? The three of us reunited in death. Now, all we have to do is wait for Blanche."
"She isn't here yet?" Sophia glanced about her. "She died before I did. Something involving a live chicken, some cool whip, and a weedeater. Who knows what the hell that tramp was up to!"
"Perhaps she is stuck in transit." Dorothy glanced over to the entrance to heaven's lobby. No one entered through the revolving door.
Above them the lights flashed then flared red.
Appearing in front of them in a red cat suit with red plastic horns and a plastic pitch fork, Blanche grinned. "Hi all!"
"Blanche!" Rose stared at her friend in shock. "Why are you dressed like that?"
Tweaking Rose's nose, Blanche winked. "Wouldn't you like to know."
"Yes, Blanche, I do."
"Sorry, can't talk now, got some place to be. Toodles!" Cackling as the lights flickered, Blanche disappeared in a wave of smoke.
"Ma, not a word," Dorothy warned.
THE END.