God's Letter To All:
Hello. My name is God, though you really don't have to call me that.
I've been around for awhile, and you could say that I'm sort of over myself by now.
Like many deities and non-deities, I've gone through phases. My early days were wrathful and insecure, and then I sacrificed my own son to save humanity from the sins they committed despite my wrath. Now, I'm finding it's a bit wearisome to even find the motivation to help the people who inhabit the world I've created. Nietzsche had it wrong, when he said that I was dead; I'm just wondering if humanity is worth saving, now that my world has been corrupted by war, greed, and evil intentions.
It doesn't help matters, that Lucifer, my nemesis, is reincarnated every two-hundred years. Such a system ensures that he is ever fresh, ever ready to do battle, whereas I myself remain eternal and unchanging, and as the centuries wax, so waxes my weariness.
That time is approaching again, and Lucifer has chosen now to officially declare war on me, and all that is good, while he is most invigorated and I am feeling my age.
You may call me The Shepherd, and enter the new world I created. You will live and work as you did before if you leave your world and join Heaven's army. When you die, you may become an angel, but if you die as an angel, you return to the elements.
Please show me that there is still some good left in this world. For as long as good exists, evil shall not prevail.
Lucifer's Letter To All:
Ah, yes, I see my favorite person in all the universe has already contacted you. He's such a sweetie, right? I could eat Him up.
So, yes. I'm tired of simply being thrown aside. As we can see, I have the upper hand. Just look at all the sin! Everybody loves it! Lust, greed, gluttony, vanity, sloth, wrath, envy, pride. And America is likely the most potent area of them all. Oh, how good it feels to walk through the streets at night and watch you all! It makes me want to dance!
He doesn't like it, though. He doesn't like your fun! Who does He think He is to take such things from you? Isn't that what life is all about? You should have fun! You should live your life to the fullest! And let me tell you a secret:
They lie about Hell in the Holy-Book, ya see? They tell you it's all fire and brimstone, but think about it. I want to spite God, not follow His directions! It's a party down here! Everybody loves it!...Except maybe the little fallen angels we catch. Oh, those poor dear lost souls. They will eventually become one of us in time. They just have to deal for the moment.
So, yes, as you can see, you have nothing to fear from Hell. It is better than heaven, I assure you. Heaven is quite boring, with their pussy attitude and elitism. No one has fun there as they are always afraid of being judged and thought of as evil. Not to mention one wrong mistake and they're kicked out. The poor things. They worked so hard in life only to have to work hard again in their afterlife. They need to let loose!
Don't fall for His tricks. It's better here, you see? You'd be better off following your primal urges and coming to my side. We're going to be fighting a war! I already have more recruits than he does, but it would be so funny to see the look on His face when we pummel his army into the ground so effortlessly that it will seem as if all their preparation was null.
Hope to see you make the right decision,
Lucifer, your ever-friendly Morning Star. |