He hated having this conversation with her, knowing every time that he wanted desperately to acquiesce to her insistence. And knowing that he couldn't.
"I can't," he managed, "Merlin, Lily, I want to, but it is too late. That sounds foolish and petty but it's the truth. The truth is ..." I love you, he thought but didn't say because that was just foolish. "... I can't be what you want me to be."
This wasn't going to end well; he knew it wasn't. But it was better, maybe, if it didn't.