"Forty-five minutes drive towards Pikestaff," Ricky says. "And then off in a side valley. I'll give you a map, or GPD coordinates if you'd rather. And it's quince. That's a fruit which is incredibly hard and sour and totally inedible while raw, and when you eat one for a bet, you get a horrible belly-gripe and hate your cousin forever because she made you do it. But you make wonderful jams and jellies and so on from it. Perhaps it's something only eco freaks and old hippies cultivate."