Bridget Pandigaeshik (pandabridge) wrote in morningstar_mnr, @ 2009-09-05 19:25:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | bridget, phin |
More Panda etc etc at St. Martins; Saturday; Phin and Bridget
Phin was having a nightmare, caused by the effect the pain medication and constraints were having on his limbs, making them feel heavy and weighed down. He'd started gasping for air and the various heart and blood pressure monitors started going a little haywire and even set off a minor alarm on the heart monitor. He struggled to move but was weighed down by the neck brace, the harness his leg was in, the IV line in one arm, the heart monitor on his finger, the sling his arm was in and the blankets tucked around the rest of his lower half. Oh yeah, and he was constricted from the pain he was in too.
Bridget had fallen asleep at his side, with her head down on the edge of his hospital bed. She'd been holding his hand when she drifted off, but sometime during the hours she'd been out, her arm had fallen into her lap. The sounds coming from Phin and the machines were foggy at first, but it only took a few seconds for them to grow clearer and her to wake up.
She awkwardly lifted her head, her neck stiff, and looked at him with wide eyes. She grabbed onto his hand and called his name as she stood up, knocking the chair over behind her, and reached for the emergency button next to the bed. "Phin! Phin! Can you hear me?" she called, sure he must have been crashing or seizing or something
Phin couldn't really hear Bridget but everything was muffled and he had a building on top of him. His eyes flew open but he wasn't quite awake and he couldn't see anyway so for all he knew the building really was on top of him still. He tried to lift his hand so he could try and push the weight off of his chest but it must have been pinned because he couldn't move it, could only squeeze it around something. He tried to yell for help but all that came out was a gaspy yell, which was painful in and of itself.
"Phin...oh my God, what's the matter?" Bridget asked as he squeezed her hand to a painful degree. She didn't try to release herself from his grasp, though. Not if he was crashing. The doctors said he was stable, but things could happen at any time. She looked up and shouted toward the door, "Somebody help!"
A nurse who had been alerted by the button was already on her way after she paged the doctor.
Phin heard her that time, but he thought he was hallucinating. Bridget! Bridget and the kids! He was going to suffocate and they were never going to see him again! She was never going to know how sorry he was for hurting her. "Bridget..." he gasped out her name after struggling to catch his breath as his muscles started cramping and tightening til they were rigid.
"Phin," Bridget breathed as she tried to give his hand a squeeze back as much as she could. Her face screwed up as she looked down at him. "It's me. It's me, I'm here, the doctor is coming...I'm here."
The nurse came in and started doing her thing after she checked the monitors. She started preparing a needle to push into the IV line.
"Riverwalk," he started rambling in choppy phrases, "There's a storm...big storm, drenched." okay maybe it was more like fragments not sentences. "Asked you anyway...lightnin hit that tree cross th'park, you screamed..." a brief little smile crossed his face before his face contorted in pain again and he had to stop to breathe again.
"So nervous, dropped ring ina biggest puddle in damn park...practic'ly swam f'it. Thought I'as crazy...married me anyway..." he breathing started to calm down some and his eyelids dropped some when the sedative that the nurse had pushed into the IV started taking affect. His heartrate was still elevated and he was still struggling to breathe.
Bridget looked up when the nurse came in, but her attention was drawn back downward as Phin spoke. She froze in place, gaping at him as he babbled about the night he'd proposed to her. She squeezed his hand again as her forehead knotted up and her face contorted.
"What's going on?" she asked the nurse, frantic. "Why's he...is he...?" She looked back down at Phin and watched his eyelids fall down. That only made her even more worried.
The nurse was trying to listen to Phin's lungs with the stethoscope to see if one of his fractured ribs had cracked and punctured a lung. She said something to Bridget about a possible panic attack but the doctor came in and took over examining Phin and they shared a rapid conversation full of medical jargon.
Phin squeezed Bridget's hand and tugged it closer, pulling it up with great effort to let it rest against his chest. His brain was misfiring but he figured that's what happened to a person when they were crushed and dying.
"M'sorry got stuck w'me," he continued to murmur. "Not much longer. Shouldn't been so stupid. Should stayed home. Miss the crying, being too tired to even talk. First thing Penny did...puke on me. Jeth said your name first, you were in the shower. Didn't tell you. Sorry...were so excited first time you heard, didn't want to spoil." Phin just kept babbling.
A panic attack wasn't a seizure and the doctors weren't going crazy, so that was good, but Bridget was still worried. Her attention was once again drawn back down to rambling Phin as he pulled her arm. Her eyes filled up as he talked and she didn't know what to say at first to all of that. It was frightening. And sad. She squeezed his hand as she leaned over the bed.
"Phin, I..." She let out a shaky breath and glanced at the heart monitor quickly. If he was panicking, she needed to help calm him down, even though she wasn't exactly relaxed herself. "You're, you're okay, Phin...you need to stop and breathe..."
Phin was quiet. He needed to breathe, right. He started coming around when she spoke that time, and he blinked a few times. "Don't wanna sleep. No more sleep. Still trapped. Don't wanna die. Please stay. Please. Don't deserve what I did t'you. So sorry. Will fix it, promise but I dunno how. Tell me what to do." There were some incoherent murmurs.
Bridget's face fell. "Sssh," she said after a moment of stunned silence as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I want to you to relax. You're not trapped anymore, Phin." She put her free hand on the side of his face and moved her thumb over his cheek, above the oxygen tube. "You're in the hospital. I'm not going to leave and you're going to be okay but you need to calm down. Just breathe slow. A long breath. Can you do that for me?" She gave the doctor a terrified look before she turned her head back down to Phin.
Phin tried to shake his head but couldn't with the brace. His eyes were filling and he could feel it but he couldn't see. Everything felt off. "Heavy." he eyelids that was, and everything else, all of his limbs.
The doctor told Bridget that Phin was indeed having a panic attack and that they'd given him a sedative to calm him down and later on if he was still breathing hard or anything changed, they'd take him for more x-rays, but that talking to him would help keep him calm.
Phin was murmuring away. About anything and everything, during the doctor's conversation and after the doc and the nurse left.
"Know what s'like when they don't love you. I love them both. Don't let them think I don't. I love you. You have every right not to believe. I fucked up so bad. I don't wanna die alone. I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm glad you came with Carter. Never going with him anywhere again. I'll quit. I'll quit and find a new job. I want to be home. I don't want to miss them growing up. I don't want to miss you growing old. I can't take it back. Please don't give me up. I'll change anything."
Bridget had a hard time listening to the doctor when Phin was saying all those horrible-sounding things in the background. She swallowed as she nodded at the doctor, not very happy about the fact that they were leaving while Phin was still clearly worked up. As they turned to go, she looked down at him again. Her face was stuck in a pained cringe. She was supposed to keep talking to him, but he was continually stunning her into silence.
"...it's okay, Phin. And...as soon as you can leave the hospital you're going to come home again with me," she said without thinking much about the implications of that. But at the moment she didn't really care.
Phin blinked a few times, which sent a few tears down his cheek and the corners of his eyes. "You don't have to." He replied. "I just want to tell you before it's too late. Tired of holding back. I know it's unforgivable. Now you're stuck here. I'm sorry. Who's with the kids? Know we didn't mean to have twins, but M'glad we did. I missed that appointment. You were so pissed." He paused and leaned a little in the direction her voice had come from. "They were s'posed to help us, 'stead i screwed up. Now m'hurting them." He frowned. "Everything's a mess..."
Yeah, it definitely was a mess. Bridget sniffled as she moved her hand to gently wipe his tears away. "Neil is with the kids," she said quietly, going with the easiest thing to respond to first. "And you are coming home with me. I'm going to take care of you, all right? And the kids will be there and you won't have to be alone."
Phin just kept frowning. His muscles had relaxed and his breathing and heart rate had calmed considerably but were still a little erratic every now and then. "Not fair to you." He shook his head to the best of his ability. "Something exploded. Tell Carter. There wasn't s'posed to be wiring. Something ex...ex...blew up." He blinked a few times to keep his eyes form closing. "I don't wanna go to sleep. Don't make me sleep. Don't wanna be trapped 'gain."
Bridget opened her mouth, but closed it again as Phin switched gears and talked about the explosion. She frowned, remembering that Carter had said the guys never said if something actually exploded or if it just sounded like an explosion. Phin was rambling pretty crazily, but he didn't seem to be making things up. What could have exploded?
"You won't be trapped again," she said, her brow still knitted in confusion. "But you don't have to go to sleep. Phin, what exploded?"
Phin had clenched his eyes shut as he tried to remember. He frowned and opened them, blinking a few times. What had exploded? He couldn't remember. What did she say about sleep? "I don't want to go to sleep. Don't let them put me to sleep." His heart picked up again. "I want to stay awake. It was bright. It flashed and then there was a sound. My ears hurt. I don't remember falling. How far did I fall?" He eyelids opened as wide as they could after a moment and his heart rate picked up. "I can't feel my leg past my knee. They didn't take it did they?" It was probably the medication, especially since he couldn't feel his other leg either. He was moving the toes of the injured one and he tried to reach the hand of his injured arm out toward his leg but then grimaced and stopped. "I was moving sheetrock. We had to work in the corner." His forehead scrunched together, first in thought then in pain. He was quiet a moment and he closed his eyes but they popped open again a moment later and searched for her face in the darkness but found nothing. "There was a toolbox. Tell Carter there was a toolbox. No one leaves tools there. It was old. Rusty." His head hurt. Everything hurt but his head hurt a lot. That sheetrock probably saved his life. He he hadn't set that last piece down to look at the box, it would have blown his ass into pieces. "Bridget..." He was quiet for a moment. "Don't make me sleep anymore."
"...I won't," Bridget said distractedly as she thought about what Phin just told her about the mysterious toolbox. "You still have your legs; you're just full of pain medication. Phin, are you saying that the toolbox had something to do with the explosion?" This wasn't a good time to go investigating (or interrogating), but he seemed to be saying that the explosion was caused on purpose, and she couldn't just let that go right away.
Phin frowned as a completely different thought popped into his head. "The account." He said. "Have you talked to Carter?" He asked. "You have to talk to Carter. We need Kobol. It wasn't faulty building. You have to find Carter. We can't lose Kobol cause of this. F'we lose Kobol we'll lose the prospects. We'll lose the insurers. Economy's shitty, we can't lose Kobol. You have to call Carter. He needs to call..." He paused. "He needs to call..." What was that guy's name? He let out an angry grunt...and then a pained grunt.
"Slow down," Bridget cut in quickly, shaking her head even though he couldn't see her when he made that noise. "I'll talk to Carter. I'll talk to him and tell him what you told me, but you've got to calm down for me, okay?"
"...Gus!" Phin let burst out suddenly. He grimaced in pain when he tried to turn his head in her general direction a little more. "He has to call Gus. Gus. Gus...I don't know his last name. He's a...a, a..." He couldn't get the right word to roll off his tongue. "Damnit!" He cringed again. "Bridge, he has to call Gus. It exploded. It wasn't our con...our con...construction." He forced out in a stammer, a couple twitch ticks taking over his face. He was definitely worked up and yeah, he knew she was right and he had to calm down but he couldn't really. "And...and, and you should see the kids," Since he couldn't. "They'll be scared," What with all the upheaval lately, Phin being gone from the apartment and all, they were liable to think they were being abandoned right? He didn't want that at all. "Keep 'em away." he added, frown on his face, which contorted up a bit because really, he wanted to hug them, and all of that. But he didn't want them to see him all messed up. "Don't bring 'em here." He said.
"Please, slow down and breathe," Bridget pleaded, growing increasingly worried by his language hang-ups and facial spasms. He needed to calm down, not just for his sake, but for Bridget's as well. "They're going to want to see you Phin," she said even as she wished that she would have just agreed so they wouldn't have to argue and they could continue talking about the explosion. "And I'll tell Carter about Gus."
Phin frowned, forgetting all about the Carter stuff and focusing on the kid stuff instead. A very pitiful, extremely desperate expression overtook his face. "No," He pleaded. "Please don't. Not like..not like this. I don't want them to see..." They had to be traumatized enough lately, they didn't need the added stress of seeing him looking like some kind of tube-infested monstrosity too.
It was hard to argue against him when he had that look on his face. "...okay," she gave in. "Okay, I won't bring them in. Not for a day or two." The kids knew something was wrong, so keeping Phin hidden from them would only make them more concerned than actually seeing him. At least, Bridget thought so.
Phin let out a relieved sigh. Okay. And in a day or two, he'd ask again to keep her from bringing them in. He nodded a little bit before he fell quiet for awhile, mostly to catch his breath. He really didn't like this blindness shit. It was kind of maddening, especially once he started thinking about it. So his face just wound up scrunched up and the frown already there just deepened.
Bridget let out her own sigh of relief when he didn't argue with her. "Yeah, that's right," she nodded, moving her thumb over his face again. "Just take a break and breathe."
It was hard to stay calm and do that when he was thinking about never being able to see again. If he couldn't see, he couldn't work. If he couldn't work, they were fucked. Truly. "What are we gonna do?" He asked. He couldn't help it.
"We'll work it out," Bridget frowned. "You'll come home. We'll talk to Carter. You still own half the company. We'll figure something out."
Phin wasn't so sure about that. Well, he knew he owned half the company, but still. He wouldn't get as much without doing any leg work at all, especially since he'd scored the last three major accounts. The commission on those accounts alone was...they were going to be screwed if he couldn't work, especially with Bridget's spending habits, and the kids and their expenses. Also the looming divorce issues as well. Phin frowned as his face fell a little more.
"Right now you don't have to worry about it," Bridget frowned even though she knew he wouldn't stop. "We need to make sure you get better. That's the important part."
Phin wasn't so sure that surviving that collapse was going to be worth it for Bridget or the kids in the long run. She would have been better off with the insurance money since there two of them, a work related one and a separate one he'd taken out after Bridget had kicked him out of the apartment, just in case.
"It's really dark," his voice came out only a little more than a whisper when he finally spoke again. He was used to night lights in the hallways and lights from the city and never really being in total darkness most of the time.
Bridget's face twisted up. She really couldn't even imagine what he must have been going through at that moment. She leaned over and gently kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry you weren't home," she said quietly once she sat back in her chair. If she hadn't kicked him out of the apartment, he probably never would have been at the construction site that late at night and none of this would have happened to him. Despite what he did to her, he didn't deserve all of this in return.
Phin closed his eyes when she kissed his forehead but opened them right away afterward to keep from making himself anymore drowsy than he already was currently.
"People would have died." If it had happened during the day when more workers were in that area. His people, some of them his friends. "My fault anyway." he added. "Not yours." He squeezed her hand, gently this time unlike when he'd been freaking out.
Bridget turned her head down and kissed his hand with a frown. "That doesn't mean I'm happy that you're the one it happened to." She moved her thumb over the back of his hand. "I'm so glad you're all right." 'All right' in the sense that he was alive and speaking to her, since he obviously wasn't really all right.
Phin wasn't sure how to feel about all of it. He was in pain, he was in the dark and he was tired but he didn't want to sleep. He thought it probably would have been better if he'd died. She wouldn't have to sit here with him, she wouldn't have to deal with an impending divorce and she would have both life insurance policies as well as his half of the company. Instead she now had a blind soon to be ex-husband who was destined to be useless. "I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to say.
Bridget shushed him before sniffling as quiet as she possibly could. "Do you want me to call Carter for you?" she asked after a moment. "I can put the phone on speaker so you can tell him what you told me."
Phin shook his head as best as he could. "No. I mean yes. Call him, please? B-but, but just...just tell him to call Gus. He'll understand." Definitely. Hopefully.
Bridget nodded. "Oh. Okay, sure." She kept holding onto his hand with her left and picked up her phone with her right. "I'll call now," she told him as she looked up Carter's number.
"Thank you," he said quietly. "Gus'll find it. He works for the candy company..." Yup, still misfiring. He was getting drowsy too. He didn't want to sleep anymore. "Candy inspector. Checks it all out." he let out a slow breath. He hated lying on his back in bed.
Bridget stared at Phin with a worried frown as the phone started ringing. She gave his hand another squeeze as Carter answered. Bridget gave him a quick explanation of Phin's current state and then told him about the rusty toolbox and that Phin said to call Gus. When Carter asked to speak with Phin about it, Bridget told him that Phin was asleep. They could talk later.
After another minute or two, Bridget hung up. "All done," she said as she put the phone down again.
Phin's eyelids drooped down, which might've looked funny and resembled one of the kids "I don't deserve you..." he said as his eyes fell some more and he tried to turn from his back but just wound up making a face. That hurt.
He was acting like one of the kids too, not wanting to sleep and trying to move when he shouldn't. Bridget's frown deepened and she reached out to put her free hand on his shoulder. "I'm really not all that wonderful," she said. "Try not to move too much."
"Hate sleeping on my back." he murmured. "And yes you are." he added, frowning because he felt all kinds of comfortable. "You remember everything. I never get to be home anymore. You take care of the kids. I never see them. All I do is work an' cause trouble." he rambled quietly some more, as his eyes struggled to flutter open again. "You never get to write anymore. I think s'my fault too. I never shoulda left that night. Should have stayed and apologized." he frowned. "You married a moron."
Bridget had to wipe away another tear as Phin spoke. "Yeah, but I knew that when I married you..." she said quietly, feeling a little uncomfortable.
Phin frowned. That was horrible. "Why'd you do that to yourself?" he was sleepy and definitely not totally aware of his surroundings. "You shoulda listened to my mom. That time she told you not to do it." His eyelids finally closed but his eyes were still moving beneath them. "Who knew she'd be right?" he mumbled. "I'm no good." What a thing to know your mother thought about you, let alone to know she'd told your fiancee such a thing the morning of your damn wedding.
Bridget had been joking, but Phin wasn't awake enough to pick up on it. "I married you because I loved you," she said. "And I still do." And his mother had been wrong that morning, as the marriage had brought them two toddlers, which outweighed much of the grief Phin caused her.
Maybe she thought that right now, since a building had fallen on him, but she'd kicked him out of the apartment for what he'd done. And they were pretty much set on a divorce. And Bridget was never happy anymore, which was Phin's fault. His mother couldn't wait to call and tell him so after she'd found out what he'd done either so he was more than well aware.
His eyes opened and trained on her as if he could actually see her this time even though he couldn't. "I miss your smile." his face twisted a little more. "The one that actually reaches your eyes." When she was really happy not when she was faking it for the kids. He felt like he'd taken it away from her so maybe it was right that he couldn't see anymore.
"I wanted us to be happy again." He frowned some more. He really had tried for awhile there, but he'd given up mostly when she kicked him out, and completely after she'd asked him over to babysit while she went on that date.
Bridget was glad he couldn't see her at the moment as the faces she was making as he spoke were pretty pained. She put her free hand over the one she was already holding. "Phin...don't worry about this right now."
"I have to. What if it's too late later?" It was possible right? And he was pretty traumatized overall. Anyway, all these things were on his mind now and he didn't want to sleep, plus what if he fell back asleep and forgot them when he woke up again? He was worried. And freaked out. He was really exhausted too.
Bridget shook her head. "It won't be too late. You're out of the woods now and, and I know how you feel...what's important for you right now is that you relax. You'll get better if you give yourself a break." She was willing to give him a break right now, but now he just needed to.
Phin's eyes popped open and then closed again. His muscles relaxed and his grip on her hand loosened a little. "Sometimes you hum in your sleep." He mumbled, more than halfway on his way to falling back asleep even though he kept trying to fight it. "Sounds better than me snoring," Even though he didn't do that often, since he hardly slept on his back ever. It was harder to fall asleep in his crappy little apartment when familiar things like that were gone.
This was painful. It hurt to see him like this and hear all the things he was saying, even if, on the surface, a lot of it was good stuff. She didn't respond since she knew he was falling asleep, just scrunched her face up as she moved her hand back and forth over his. He had told her he didn't want to go to sleep again, but he couldn't fight it and it would be much better for him if he did right now. So she let him.
Phin was out for a number of hours. Sometimes he talked in his sleep, other times he snored. Some of the time he was just quiet. His heart rate stayed pretty even and for the most part so did his breathing. He tried numerous times to roll over, which resulted in grunts of pain and face contorting while he sort of woke up for a few moments before he'd pass back out again. Billie stopped by between classes, but Phin was asleep for that visit. Carter stopped by with the intention of talking to Phin about what he'd said to Bridget, but Phin was out cold for that too.
His father came by around dinner time to bring Bridget some food and to offer to look in on Neil and the kids if she wanted but Phin's mother had called during the visit and demanded he come home right away since Clive's school play was going on tonight and he was not to miss opening night since Phin would still be around in the morning. In the process of telling both Phin's father and his brother, Dante, about not missing the play, Dante screamed at her to fuck off and stormed off somewhere. His father had been embarrassed about the outbursts that were audible from his phone since the volume was up all the way, his hearing not being what it used to be, and had apologized and excused himself to leave.
Shortly after that, Neil called the hospital room's phone.
It was a good thing Phin was out for his father's visit. It was awkward for Bridget, who kept her head down and pretended that she couldn't hear even though both she and Phin's dad knew his mother was coming in loud and clear. After he left, Bridget started working on the food he'd brought. She was tired, but she'd take a nap after she ate. She hadn't slept very much since she got to the hospital, and the moments when she did were pretty uncomfortable. But she didn't want to leave the hospital. She'd called her boss again, talked to the kids on the phone earlier, and gave her family updates. Billie was supposed to come by again later and bring her some clothes to change into. Bridget would be okay camping out while Phin still needed her.
When the phone started ringing, Bridget quickly put down her plastic fork and reached over to grab it. "Hello?" she asked quietly, keeping her eyes on Phin to make sure he wasn't going to wake up.
There was loud noise in the background in the form of toddler shouting/babbling/demands. Neil was just telling them that they had to quiet down or they wouldn't be able to hear mommy when Bridget answered. "Bridge, it's Neil. Sorry to bother you. The natives are restless. Got a minute to talk to 'em?" He asked as Jeth started tugging on his arm and asking to talk to his mommy for the millionth time.
Bridget frowned a little as she heard the kids in the background. She wished she could just bring them to the hospital, but that would be pure chaos. Plus Phin didn't want them to see him in his current state. "Yeah, yeah, of course," she nodded. "It's okay. Put 'em on."
"Shhh, okay, one at a time. Here talk to mommy," Neil handed the phone to Jeth and then settled Penny onto the free side of his lap and rocked with her, talking quietly to let her know that she'd get her turn and just as much time as Jeth to talk to her mom.
Jeth was very talkative and good at it too. It seemed like ever since he hit two a switch in his brain flipped and even though his words were imperfect and letters got switched around he was forming longer fragments and short sentences like nobody's business. "Mommy! Come home! Bed time soon..." That last part came out in a very sad tone indeed, almost a whine but not quite, more like a plea.
Bridget cringed. She moved her chair back from Phin's bed and walked over to the window in the room so she wouldn't disturb him. "Jeth, sweetie, I'm sorry. I won't be able to come home tonight to tuck you in. But I'll come by tomorrow, how about that?" She could have Billie hang out with Phin while she went home to a) see the kids and b) relieve Neil from babysitting duty.
Phin murmured quietly and shifted his hips before he grimaced and settled back. On the phone, Jeth let out an I'm-About-To-Cry whimper. "Noooooo mommy..." He pleaded. "Come home noowwww..." He begged in broken English. "Want you and daddy..." He frowned as Neil wrapped his free arm around him and gave him a kiss on the side of his head to try and comfort the kid a little bit at least. He'd told Penny and Jeth multiple times that mommy and daddy would be home 'soon' and they just had to wait patiently.
Bridget turned toward Phin when she heard him making noise. She frowned as she watched him grimace at the same time as Jeth was pleading in her ear. If only she could take care of all three of them at once. "...we want to see you too, Jeth, but we can't come home right now. But we'll be back soon, both of us. Me and daddy."
Jeth looked at Uncle Neil and rather sadly said, "Mommy being mean!"
"Jeth no!" Neil was about to talk him out of it but Jeth flung the phone at the floor. Thankfully it didn't break into a million pieces. "We do NOT throw the phone..." He said as Jeth gave him that sad face, afraid that Neil was angry at him now too. Neil let out a sigh. "Hold on, Bridge!" He called out, taking a second to give Jeth a hug before he leaned over without dumping them from his lap to get the phone. He glanced at Jeth, who had moved to sit on the couch next to Neil's leg instead of in his lap and was now burrowing his face between Neil's side and the couch cushion. Oh yeah and he was crying too. Neil set Penny down on the couch and held the phone out to her. "Do you want to talk to mommy, Penny?" He asked an already sullen Penny, who nodded right away. Neil helped her put the phone to her ear, then he reached over and scooped Jeth up, who struggled against him and started crying louder. "Shhh, Jeth it's okay..." He said as he picked Jeth up to start walking with him so Bridget would be able to hear Penny and not the crying.
"Hi mama!" Penny cheered, eagerly waiting for a response since she hadn't gotten to talk to Bridget first.
Bridget's face twisted up some more as she heard all the commotion on the other end, including Jeth's crying. She kept up a happy voice for Penny, though. "Hey honey!" she said in a cheery tone even as she wiped a tear away from her eye. "How are you guys doing with Uncle Neil?"
Penny smiled when she heard her mommy, the complete opposite reaction of Jeth's. She launched into a long string of stories, about the picture she drew just for mommy and uncle Neil hung on the fridge for her at Mommy height so she'd see. About playing in the garden and playing with Max until he puked on Gilly. She rambled on and on about what they had for lunch, and how Jeth was acting sad and wouldn't play with her, and how they'd gotten to play with the little kitty in the hallway again because he got out of his apartment and how they made a fort out of the dining room table and lots of blankets and that's where Mama, Penny's panda bear that is, was hiding right now - to protect the fort of course. All this while Neil was trying to calm Jeth down. Thankfully, he'd exhausted Jeth enough through the day that eventually the crying subsided because Jeth passed out on his shoulder. Neil was never so relieved in his life, he was sure of it.
At least there was one Panda in her immediate family who seemed to be doing all right. Bridget sniffled as she nodded and responded to Penny's stories, trying to sound excited even as Penny told her about Jeth's crappy mood. "That's great, Penny. I'm glad you're having fun. I'm going to come home and see you guys tomorrow, so I'll be back really soon."
Penny was very excited to hear that! She even cheered and afterward told her mom that she missed her lots and lots and that she owed them lots of hugs and kisses. This was very important. Neil sat down next to her after he was sure Jeth was out even though the kid still had the post-cry hiccups. He asked Penny if he could talk to her mom when she was done and Penny promptly informed her mom that it was Uncle Neil's turn before saying a very firm 'I love you' in toddler garble. She waited for a response before finally relinquishing the phone to Neil.
Neil let out a quiet sigh as Penny climbed down from the couch and went to retrieve her juice from the floor. "I'm never having kids." He said into the phone, quietly of course.
Bridget let out a short laugh after saying goodbye to Penny. "Make sure your girlfriend knows that," she said before holding the phone away from her mouth a little bit to sniffle quietly. When she brought it back, she asked, "Where's Jeth?"
Neil let out a groan. "I try not to initiate conversations about such things." he replied before he glanced at what he could see of Jeth on his shoulder. "He's out cold but I have him right here. You want me to wake him up?" he asked but he hoped she said no.
"No, no," Bridget shook her head, frowning again. "Penny said he hasn't been playing with her. How has he been?" It was a question she didn't really have to ask, since it was clear that Jeth was sad and moody with both of his parents gone.
"He's been cranky. And clingy. He was banging on the door and demanding I let him in." Neil answered. "He'll be okay, he's just worried." or something. "How are you holding up?" Yeah, he'd heard her sniffle.
"I'd be a lot better if I could be in two places at once," Bridget said with a sad frown. "Maybe even three. Thank you so much for watching them. I talked to mom earlier. She's going to try and come down tomorrow night, but I'm still going to come home for a little bit in the afternoon to give your freedom back. I know you have training and everything..."
"Training can wait," Neil insisted even though skipping his training was going to affect his next bout. "Billie called earlier to try and relieve me but I think she had another class tonight so I told her I was fine," he said before he yawned. "How's Phin?" he asked even though he really didn't care all that much after what Phin did to his little sister. Neil didn't want the guy to die or anything, on account of his niece and nephew. Still.
"He's still out," Bridget said as she turned to look at him. "He's been talking in his sleep. A little bit ago it was a grocery list. But other stuff..." She shook her head and shifted the subject. "And he keeps trying to roll over so he's not on his back. It's like watching one of the kids when they can't get comfortable." She paused and then added, "It's awful."
Neil frowned. It was upsetting. God thing she wasn't talking to Brad, Neil had already heard all of Brad's rants about breaking Phin's kneecaps and all.
"They're pumping him full of pain medication I'm sure. And he's gonna be all right, right?" he asked. "He'll understand if you come home for a night and sleep in your own place to keep the kids calm..." She shouldn't have to babysit Phin when he was out cold. Phin had other family members.
"He's supposed to be all right, but he's still not doing well mentally," Bridget said, lowering her voice a little more. "I didn't tell you about how he woke up this morning. He thought he was still under the building and had a panic attack. The heart monitor was going crazy and he was spouting off all this crazy stuff...a doctor gave him a sedative, but I still had to talk him down. He didn't want to fall asleep again. He kept telling me not to let him. I was scared, to be honest. I don't want to leave him here by himself."
Neil listened attentively as she spoke. "What about Billie? Or his parents? One of his brothers? Just for one night, so you can sleep in your own bed." he paused a moment. "I'll sit with him overnight even." She didn't owe Phin anything after what he did to her in his opinion.
"You've done more than enough, Neil," Bridget shook her head with a small smile that faded quickly. "His dad came by, he brought me food. And then his bitch of a mother called and berated him into leaving the hospital. I could hear her yelling at him on the phone, saying that his brother's shitty play was more important. Can you believe that?"
Okay, that made Neil feel a little bad. "She sounds like mother of the year." he said. "Seriously, Bridge, you can't sleep there until he's sent home. They'll keep knocking him out anyhow." He couldn't help it, he was worried about her, and the kids too.
"I know," Bridget sighed. "I just figured for a few days...I know Billie wants to come by and spend more time with him, but she's had papers to research and everything. I can see if she can spend the night tomorrow. And I hate leaving the kids like this, but Phin doesn't want them to see him right now. He made me promise. But I told him in a day or so I'd bring them in. I'm sure that seeing him messed up is better than them not seeing him at all. They missed him already since they hadn't seen him in a few days." Bridget took a deep breath after all that and let it out slowly.
Neil smiled a little as she let it out. "Feel better?" he asked. "And I think they're going to need to see him, yeah, before they start thinking he's gone for good." he reasoned. "But a few days won't hurt. You want him to be coherent enough to keep up with them so they don't get too confused." or something.
Bridget smiled a little bit herself. "Barely," she replied. "And that's true. Having a few more days to get used to...his eyes would be good for him too." She frowned again. The doctors said they couldn't tell if the blindness was only temporary or permanent. Brains were tricky, they said. And that led to the least amount of optimism possible. "I'll talk to Billie about staying overnight tomorrow."
Neil nodded to himself. "Okay. Good. Besides, resting up will be good for you. It won't do either of you any good if you're both exhausted." he insisted.
Over in the bed, Phin started talking about basketball fundamentals, like he was back in the rec center coaching a team again.
"You know, for someone who gets knocked in the head on a regular basis, you're pretty smart," Bridget joked with a slight smirk. Like most of her smiles lately, it fell away just a moment later when she heard Phin. "He's mumbling again," she said. "I don't know if he's waking up. I better go."
"Hey, I give way more concussions than I receive." He replied. He frowned when she mentioned the mumbling. "Okay. Call me if you need to. At anytime." he said. Phin was babbling away, eyelids starting to flutter a bit.
Bridget assured Neil that she'd call, and thanked him once again before she hung up. She walked back over to Phin's bed and frowned as he continued murmuring about basketball. She sat down in her chair and picked up his hand, watching his face carefully.
Phin's basketball rambling tapered off after Bridget grabbed his hand. He tried to roll over again and managed to pop his back in just the wrong place and that made his eyelids shoot open as his face twisted. His eyes widened but just kept on blankly staring for a second before he clenched them shut and tried to shift around to pop his back, back into place. He let out a little groan as he did so. "They need stronger drugs." He murmured, still groggy and not completely awake.
Bridget cringed at his faces and gave his hand a light squeeze. "Yeah, they do," she said quietly. "Do you need me to get you anything?"
"French toast." He replied, not having meant to, but it was part of something he was thinking about and so it came out. He squeezed her hand afterward, afraid she'd leave to get that even though he probably wouldn't be able to keep food down. He couldn't remember the last time he actually ate.
Bridget arched her eyebrows up. "Really?" she asked, fully aware that he wasn't fully aware of everything he'd been saying for the past day.
Phin gave his head a little shake. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped and scrunched his eyes shut for a moment to try and make sure he could speak coherently when he opened his mouth again. "Escapade." He said, closing his eye briefly as the corners of his lips turned up for just a moment. He grimaced as he actually let out a quick chuckle. He opened his eyes and stared blankly ahead. "You were halfway through your little dance routine and half a loaf of bread before you spun around and saw me watching from the doorway." The first morning he'd woken up at her place that was. And she'd done it all wearing his button down shirt from the night before. He'd dutifully ate seven slices too many of French toast after how much she'd made too. Couldn't let it go to waste after all that hard work.
Bridget's mouth fell open. A lot of the stuff he'd been saying since Carter brought her to the construction site felt like kicks to the gut, but for some reason this one hit her more than the others. She could remember that moment pretty vividly. She'd been nothing short of mortified when she'd spotted Phin there. The piece of toast on the spatula she was holding went straight to the floor. But Phin had laughed and she actually blushed while she laughed and everything was okay. More than that, it was great. And now this was where they were, in a hospital and on the verge of divorce.
"I don't think I'd ever felt so embarrassed before," she said with a pained cringe on her face.
Phin frowned. He couldn't see her cringes or frowns but he could hear it. He loosened his grip on her hand and moved his hand out of hers. He shouldn't be doing this to her. "You should go home." He told her. "Neil can't stay with the kids forever..." He wanted to give her an out even though the idea of being alone and in the dark was pretty terrifying at the moment. They were heading for a divorce right? She shouldn't be keeping tabs at his bedside. "Been enough of a burden on you." His eyes burned a little and he was pissed at himself for it. "You should go and be with them." It was more important, to take care of the kids than to take care of him. And he kept having dreams about and thinking of these sappy things from their past and making her sad.
Bridget looked down at his hand with a sad frown. "I already talked to Neil about it." She looked up and saw his eyes were getting a little wet. She moved her hand back into his. "Billie's going to come and stay with you tomorrow, and I'll go home with the kids. My mom's coming tomorrow night, so after that she can watch them until we can bring them here. It's all right. I won't go anywhere tonight."
Phin closed his eyes when she took his hand again. He listened to everything she was saying and he frowned some more. He kept quiet this time about not wanting her to bring the kids to see him like this. "You've done enough for me already..." He said. Then he apologized, again.
"I'm not doing this out of marital obligation, Phin," Bridget shook her head. "I'm here because I want to be. It's all right."
Phin was quiet for a long while. He was frowning and there was a pathetic little sad expression on his face. "Why?" He asked. Why did she want to be there? He certainly didn't deserve it and he was just upsetting her with all the things that kept popping into his head.
"It's complicated," Bridget replied with a frown. "I'm not just going to abandon you when you need me."
Phin frowned some more. "Well you should. I deserve it."
"Yeah, you do. So feel lucky I have a kind soul and a conscience."
Phin fell quiet. He was staring again, and he wondered what he looked like in his current state. He felt like shit that was for sure. Places he couldn't reach were itchy. He was stuck on his back in a mostly seated position. His hip was cramping from the slight his leg was apparently in and, oh yeah, the neck brace was chaffing his shoulders and collarbones from the times he'd started sweating when he was sleeping, and having nightmares and such. His mind ad been steadily running through past memories since the last time he'd fallen asleep, but he didn't want to keep blurting them out now, since he knew it was upsetting her.
He looked almost as bad as he must have felt, and Bridget was free to frown at it all since Phin couldn't see her. She stayed quiet too for a few minutes before she asked, "So...was there anything you wanted me to get?"
"No," Phin said quietly after a moment. "I'm okay." he insisted even though he really wasn't at all. "But if you need to go anywhere, don't let me keep you." He added. "Have you eaten yet?" He'd been in and out. He was pretty sure Billie had been around at some point but he could have been dreaming. He could have sworn he heard his mother screaming at some point too but that definitely had to be a dream because no way would she set foot in here, not for him anyway.
"I'm staying here, Phin," she reminded him with a squeeze to his hand. "And I have food right in front of me. While you were asleep your father dropped it off. Are you hungry?"
"Oh," he said when she informed him that his father had stopped by with food. "Not really," He answered. He felt kind of queasy actually. He probably should eat something though, but he wasn't sure he could handle the mess of trying to eat without being able to see anything. Not to mention that it'd be kind of embarrassing. He wanted to ask about what his father had said when he was here but he wasn't sure whether he'd like the answer or not.
"Just let me know if you change your mind," Bridget said with a nod. She pulled over the rolling table that her food was on and held onto Phin's hand with her left as she picked up her fork with her right.
"Okay," He gave a little nod and then he fell quiet again as he listened, mostly to the machines, and also to Bridget's movements. Everything seemed louder, and he wasn't sure if he was imagining that or if it was because he couldn't see anything. He let her eat for awhile before he spoke again. "Have you talked to the kids?" He asked, the silence, or lack there of even, having finally gotten to him.
At first Bridget nodded as she chewed, and then a moment later added a hum of ascent. After swallowing, she explained, "I talked to them just before you woke up, actually. They miss you." She dropped her eyes down to her plate. "Penny sounds like she's doing okay, but Jeth's been moody with both of us gone."
Phin frowned. His forehead scrunched up as his features fell a little. He didn't want the kids to see him like this but he didn't want to keep Bridget from them either. So he got quiet again. Was this whole situation going to wind up damaging the kids in some way that they couldn't fix? It was a terrifying thought.
Bridget studied his face for a few moments. She frowned a little herself. "It'll be okay," she told him. "Neil's taking good care of them and I'm going home tomorrow. And then in a day or two they'll get to see you too. Jeth will forget all about it as soon as that happens."
Phin frowned a little more. "...Until they see me and freak out..." He murmured quietly. Then they'd have a whole new set of issues to deal with in regards to traumatized kids. "They shouldn't see me like this." Regardless of how much he wanted to see them.
"Maybe it won't be the nicest thing for them to look at, but the kids aren't stupid. They know something is up, and if we hide you from them, it'll only make them more worried. And it's not like the hospital is going to let you hop out of here in a few days. You're going to be here a while. Let them see you and then they can see you get better." She moved her thumb slowly over the back of his hand. "They miss you. I'll give you a few more days, but they miss you."
Phin's shoulders dropped a little. He already felt guilty that they missed him because they missed him for obvious reasons. And with this, he was keeping Bridget away from them too, so now they had to miss her and apparently Jeth wasn't faring very well with that. So he just stayed quiet again. He wasn't going to be able to convince her and the kids were going to have to see him all mangled up. This wasn't something he ever thought a kid should have to see in regards to their parent.
"They'll be all right," she said again. "Just trust me on this. It's better that they see you and know you're still around than not."
Phin let out a defeated sounding, "Okay..." because he knew he wasn't going to win this one. He rested his head back against the pillows but it wasn't really comfortable thanks to the neck brace. And everything else.
Bridget gave his hand another squeeze and finished up her food. When she was done, she pushed the table aside. "I'm going to use the bathroom quick. I'll be right back." She waited for Phin to give her confirmation before she let go of his hand.
Phin nodded and gave her another, "Okay," before she let go of his hand. He closed his eyes and started focusing on the memories that kept jumping into his head. He couldn't believe Bridget had stayed so long. More importantly, he was shocked she'd come to the construction site in the first place. He was glad for all of it, since the darkness was kind of maddening what with the extra noise everywhere. He still felt bad though.
Bridget stood up and with a glance back at him, headed for the bathroom. Before she left, she made sure to get a good look at herself in the mirror. She looked pretty tired, dark circles and everything, and her hair was a mess. She heaved a sigh and pulled it out of its ponytail to redo it and keep some strands away that kept falling in her face. Once that was done, she headed back out. She slowed down as she approached the bed and frowned at Phin's general appearance. It was about a billion times worse than hers.
"I'm back," she said quietly as she took her seat again.
Phin opened his eyes regardless of how fruitless a task that was all things considered. "I know." He said quietly. "Everything's louder." He added in explanation. His forehead creased a little. "It's odd."
"That's what's supposed to happen," she said as she slipped her hand into his again. She frowned a little bit as she looked at his eyes. "Is it a lot louder?"
Phin shrugged up his good shoulder just a little. "Moderately loud I guess." He answered. He hesitated a moment, definitely afraid to ask his next question, "Did they say when they'd know if it was permanent?"
Bridget turned her head down to their hands and let out a little breath. "The, um, impression I got was that they won't know. It could go either way."
Phin pressed his lips together and gave a slight nod. So the answer really was 'hey, you're screwed but we want you to remain optimistic'. He let out a slow breath through his nose and tried to stay calm since he'd freaked her out last time he'd gotten worked up. Then again, he really had thought he was still stuck under the building.