"I don't..." Xander pulled his feet up onto the chair, looking at Seth, willing the other man to believe him, not wanting to offer Seth any opportunity to think he was lying.
"I'm...I didn't come back here looking to pick up where we left things," he murmured softly, sipping at his coffee.
"I wouldn't blame Zack if he never," a short pause, "if he never trusts me again, never wants anything to do with me. I - what I did, the way I acted, was unforgiveable. I know that. I-I freaked. I couldn't handle it, and..." he trailed off, shrugging gently.
"I never stopped loving him," he continued softly, "not for a second."