I talked to my mom today. She is fine. Her finals are over and graded. Lucky. She told me she's taking the summer off. Her and my dad are going to Europe to do some research on folk takes. Sounds like... I don't know. If I ever make my way over to Europe, the last thing I'm going to be doing is research. One of my sisters is visiting, along with her family, so they're going out to dinner. Which is nice, because all I sent her was a card and a promise to buy her something nice when I see her. Then she started talking my love life and that whole when am I going to get grandchildren from you talk. My mom has five grandchildren and one on the way. You'd think that'd be enough for now. Or ever. Because who sees me with children? I could always have her meet Hedone? If I ever find her.
Now, all of this would be fine. But. Roses. Everywhere. Which caused me to break down seek advice from my mother. Which shouldn't have happened. It's her day. Not mine. Plus, she needed to spend time with the family that was there. Besides, I don't think she completely understood my dilemma.
[Private] Once again, I'm the punchline to some sick joke. I usually like all the weird occurrences, but this time it's just cruel. Red roses. A symbol of love. Of a love I don't have. Of a love... Why now? I shouldn't have put it off. But I didn't want to deal with it, I guess. No, I know.
And what's so wrong with thinking through your replies? She knows how I can be. She's been around, watching me fly off the handle because of ---, but why should I fly off the handle with her? How's that going to make anything better?
I have to stop thinking about this, about her, and start thinking about studying.