Νάrcissus ❀ Dorian K. (sleeping_vanity) wrote in monte_rpg, @ 2012-05-07 19:49:00 |
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Current mood: | cold |
[It's taken Narcissus a while to cycle through his feelings, after receiving a rather hasty note from Timmy announcing a sudden departure, as well as a reminder to eat well. At first he was stricken with amusement. Ha. Poor Timmy. Timmy couldn't take it. Poor Timmy and his ditzy, stupid little boyfriend. This amusement has only morphed into anger. Anger into rage. He feels...alone, of all things. Because without Tim, what was he supposed to do? Despite the harsh berating and the name-calling, Tim had always seemed to...care about him. Urged him to eat, forced him to confront his behavior, and he hated him for it. He hated him for leaving. He hated him for telling him to eat. Hated him for making him feel normal. He'd started, albeit kicking and screaming, to care about him. To care about what he thought. To want something that wasn't just Tim grasping out for rebound sex. To make up for someone else. He wasn't supposed to be used like that. Not supposed to be second rate. To anyone.
He hates seeing himself cry, but it's been unavoidable. Seeing those red, puffy eyes in the mirror this morning has only made his mood much, much worse. He deserves better than that, he tells himself. So much better. But for the first time in a while, he doesn't care about what he looks like when he wanders out to class. He barely takes notice of what he's worn, and contrary to Tim's advice, hasn't eaten a single thing all day. In the most heinous mood he's been in since arriving at Montenegro, he sits down at his laptop, and types out something quick and designed to sting. If he's going to have a shitty day, someone else has to, too.]
I'm sorry, but if you've ever had your heart broken by some guy or girl or whatever, you're probably retarded. I mean, honestly. I don't have any sympathy for people who just, like, throw themselves at the first person who's nice to them or whatever.
Relationships are kinda fucked in the first place, but like, if you're not getting anything out of it, and you didn't bother to figure out that so-and-so is a complete asshole before you throw yourself at them, yeah. You're fucking stupid, and I don't feel bad for you at all.