riley casteling is angrboða, not happyboða (griefbringer) wrote in monte_rpg, @ 2012-04-11 22:48:00 |
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Current mood: | discontent |
seventeen.
[Riley Angela Casteling really fucking hated her emotions.
When it came to things of that nature, Riley was not what anyone could consider equipped to handle them maturely. Much like an overgrown child, when she was confronted with feelings she couldn't understand, she behaved like a sulky brat. It wasn't pleasant, nor was it anything worth making others experience, which was why ever since she'd fought James she'd been finding ways to (hopefully) vent her building frustrations in a constructive manner.
She would have been fine if the weird situation with James was the only thing that was weighing on her mind, but it wasn't. There was her ridiculous over-reaction to James talking to Bethany. Her suspicions that Jameson was Odin reincarnated. All the bullshit with James. And strangest of all was the stunning realization that she had started to consider Jonathan of all people someone worthy of her trust and appreciation. Couple all that with the day to day hustle and bustle of proving she could keep up with her predominately male classmates, and Riley was one good poke away from going nuclear.
Making it a point to avoid being around people in general as much as she could, she had taken to spending most of her time (when not taking care of house and kidlet-related things) camping out in the woods. While she knew that Fenrir or Jörmungandr could easily sniff her out if they wanted to, the only person who she had explicitly told where she could be found was Jonathan. If that didn't hint that she felt something more than what she was comfortable with then she didn't know what did.
It was only when she was alone with her thoughts that she could admit a few hard truths to herself:
1) She cared about Jonathan - really fucking cared about him like she wanted him to be hers. It was disgusting, and someone with a more romantic mind might even point out that was love, but she'd punch them bloody and leave it at that.
2) James got under her skin and probably wasn't going anywhere, so she would have to work harder to push him away. If he wouldn't leave her alone, she was genuinely worried about losing herself to his intensity, and that wasn't an option.
3) She didn't want to hate Jameson, even if he was Odin - that didn't mean she wouldn't kick his ass once she was certain, though. The fucker did kill her and steal her children, so she was entitled to making him bleed.
4) She needed to let Bethany live her own life, and that meant avoiding the daughter she barely got to raise. It would hurt, but it was for the best in the long run. It wasn't like Bethany wanted her around anyway.
No, seriously... Riley Angela Casteling really fucking hated her emotions.]
[filtered AWAY from all Faculty, Norse (except Heimdallr/Jonathan), and Halphas/James]
Serious question time, people - if you had reason to suspect that someone here once royally fucked up your life, and you found out they were indeed that douchebag, how far would you go to get vengeance?
[filtered to Ben/Eros]
Calling in that favor, spawn of Arron's.