Aria Dixon // Euterpe (museicalme) wrote in monte_logs, @ 2012-05-08 07:35:00 |
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Current mood: | contemplative |
Entry tags: | anubis, euterpe, ~complete |
oh, this is the start of something good, don't you agree...? (part 2)
Characters: Aidan Graveley/Anubis (gravedirt) & Aria Dixon/Euterpe (museicalme)
Date/Time: April 28th, 11pm-ish
Location: From outside the dorms to Aria's room
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, propositioning
Summary: Aidan and Aria finally have that talk.
“Guilty as charged.” Did he even sound a little sheepish? Aidan fidgeted a little, weight shifting from foot-to-foot. This was why it was so much easier not breaking out of his shell, instead spending time with the people who could read him like a book, who knew and understood each little facial twitch or dry, ambiguous comment.
But that would mean no challenge. And for all his faults, Aidan Graveley still liked a bit of a challenge.
And there it came at last, the attempted topic change: “Was it a good birthday, at least, before the end?”
~*~
“At least you can admit it.” She wasn’t judging. Aria had no place giving anyone a hard time over their little quirks when there were plenty of things about her that she knew could drive people up a wall. It was why she did her best to be tolerant of others, and even more so when it came to someone she liked. For all her socializing she couldn’t claim to have many true friends.
Maybe it was because she was obnoxious. Or because the lifestyle of the Dixon family wasn’t conducive to maturity.
Her lips quirked into a grin at his latest query. “You mean pre-birthday, since my actual one isn’t until Monday. And it was nice, for a party. Most people came because it was a bash, only a few came for me, but it is what it is.”
~*~
“Birthday celebration, then. I didn’t actually forget -- I just think the day of official commemoration counts almost as much as the day itself. But good. I’m glad to hear it.” Even though I couldn’t make it.
She was still in bare feet and they weren’t at the dormitories just yet; real estate was at a premium, especially on campus, and so the parking was a bit of a walk. Not bad on a normal day, but certainly noticeable for the barefooted and barely-clad, as she was now.
The thought occurring to him too late, Aidan suddenly held out his coat as an offering -- some extra warmth to drape over her pseudo-outfit in all its jangling glory.
~*~
“Yessss, celebration,” she agreed. “I wasn’t saying you forgot, just clarifying for myself, and I know this’ll sound weird, but this was the first real party I’ve thrown.” School mixers didn’t count in her book.
The chill in the air and pebbles on the ground were starting to get to her, but it was her own idiocy that had put her in the position of having no coat and uncomfortable shoes, so she was doing her best to suck up and deal. Aidan had already listened to her ramble enough, she didn’t need to add whinging to the mix.
When he offered her his coat, Aria stared at it blinking for a few moments while thinking about taking it. She was getting cold, but it was his coat. Best to ask. “Are you sure? If you need it I can deal.”
~*~
More bemusement from his end, and Aidan gestured with a hand, taking in his appearance relative to hers. “I’m dressed in jeans, good boots, and an okay shirt. While you’re barefoot and barely-clothed. I’m fairly certain you need this much, much more than I do.” That ever-lurking smile, though, meant that he wasn’t really judging. Anything But Clothes did mean anything but clothes, after all.
~*~
Lips quirking into an amused grin, Aria snatched the coat from him, sliding her arms into it before he could change her mind. “I like how you specified ’good’ boots and an ‘okay’ shirt. What makes the shirt only okay, if I may be so bold as to ask?” The reference to being barely clothed begged for a comment, but she didn’t rise to the bait knowing that it could have been far worse if Arron had gotten his way.
~*~
“Short sleeves. The boots keep heat well, but the shirt not so much. Better than bells, however.”
A pause, as he ruminated over her topic about parties. “I didn’t really do anything for my birthday this year,” Aidan found himself saying, thoughtful, more like an aside to himself than anything else. “Maddie and I went out, but that was it.”
The words had left his mouth before he even knew what he intended to do with them. Maddie.
~*~
“At least you have sleeves,” she observed, glancing over at him. “Hey, there’s fishing wire and ribbons too.”
She thought ahead, knowing that just ribbons and bells would be silly. And then, just as she’d gotten herself into what she hoped came off as a playful mood to keep the tension pervading the air around them from getting to her, the mention of Maddie ruined all her hard work.
The effect was subtle -- her shoulders slumping ever so slightly -- but visible if one knew what to look for. “Nobody ever said a person has to go all out for their birthday, and I’m sure you two had a great time.”
~*~
Aidan didn’t wince -- his self-control was better than that, and he hadn’t been drinking -- but the man cringed inwardly nonetheless. Foot in mouth all over again. Aria’s slump was noticed, and it had the effect of popping the bubble of their conversation. “Sorry,” he said.
~*~
Aria didn’t break her stride -- her pace even picked up just a bit, though not consciously -- hands balling into fists inside the too-long sleeves of the borrowed coat. What did she expect, really? Aidan’s apology was met with a barely noticeable shrug. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” she responded. “Weirdo.”
~*~
Except I do.
“Hey,” Aidan said, lengthening his strides to catch up and reaching out a hand to pull her back. Be direct and honest, he reminded himself. Aria had always been open -- almost hilariously so -- and he could stand to learn a few tricks from her.
“Do you-- do you want to talk about it now, while we’re both here? Or should we wait until you’ve slept and sobered up? I’m aware this is probably a bad time.” A beat, and his hand darted away from her shoulder. “No. Actually, this is a bad time. Terrible timing. Forget I said anything. We’ll wait.” He itched to discuss it, particularly after their weeks apart and how this conversation seemed to be going mostly alright -- but he had a near-endless reservoir of patience to draw on.
~*~
Yes Aria, way to be mature. Calling him a weirdo, really?
“Hay is for horses bette--,” Aria’s singsong tone broke off at the feeling of his hand on her shoulder, her entire body jerking in stupefaction at the unforeseen action on his part. Aidan was the least impulsive person she knew -- his every move during their interactions always came off as well-thought out and calculated -- so it took her the space of a breath to relax and not shake him off.
“I...” What could she say here that wouldn’t come out all wrong? “I would be fine with talking about ‘it’ now, if I wasn’t half-convinced that I’ll say something that’ll make you wish we hadn’t.” The hint of relief in her bearing when that hand was removed from its perch was immediate. “That, and I can’t think there’s any point in us talking about what happened, I mean it’s not like a conversation will change anything.” She had been so stupid, holding onto hope where there was obviously none to be had. ’This is your get out of jail free card, Aidan, take it,’ she wanted to urge, but kept her mouth shut instead.
~*~
“It’ll give us closure,” he managed to blurt out. She looked so small, thin and shivering and barefoot in his too-large coat. “I mean, if you think we’re already okay, then we can just go back to normal and be friends again and pretend that nothing ever went wrong or strange. But we deserve some closure, I think.”
It had hurt, finally trying to snip this thread in writing. It was a hundred times harder in person.
“And you deserve to know, fully, why I behaved the way I did.”
~*~
The short laugh that came from her mouth seemed fake, even alien, to her ears. “No, that’s not what us talking will do. You may think it’ll give us closure, but all it’ll do is make you feel like you finally made the attempts that you should have made back when I thought I wanted to hear it,” she explained.
“The funny thing is, so much time has passed that I don’t want to hear it anymore. I figured it out.”
He didn’t want what she wanted, and having him tell her that wasn’t going to make it hurt any less. Gritting her teeth, she looked to see how far they were from the dorms. Too far for her to run the rest of the way. Still, she was more than stubborn enough to be done with his pity. Removing the coat, she handed it back. “If it’s alright with you, I’d rather walk the rest of the way alone, thanks.”
~*~
And just like that, it was as if a chain had snapped between them -- I figured it out she said, and his first thought was Did you? Did you fully? -- but it wasn’t worth chasing down one drunk, freezing, wounded girl simply for the sake of clarification. Not when she was already stinging.
Besides, understanding Aidan was obvious enough if one knew where to look.
He accepted the coat and draped it over one arm; if he was cold, he gave no indication of it. “Alright. Can you text me when you get to your room? Just so I know you made it alright.” Aidan’s voice was neutral, clipped -- it was back to business as usual and being the RA Designated Driver.
This was why it would be easier, he told himself, even as he watched Aria turn and stride off (slightly wobbly) towards the dorms. Not dating someone he worked with, even if it was in such an unofficial capacity. It would be smoother. It would be better. Still, did Aria understand? If only Madeleine weren’t in the picture, then--
But she was, and that was that.
~*~
Her first instinct as she started walking away and heard his final words was to react exactly like her father would in this situation -- a single finger answer -- but she chose to go the more confrontational route. Whipping around to face him, she pushed her hair out of her face before starting on her diatribe.
“So that’s it? No argument, or pressing your case?” Aria felt eyebrows fly upwards.
“I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t expect this, because that would be stupid of me. You said yourself that you’re not the type to fight for things, and yet I wanted to believe that I could have read this all wrong.” Aria’s eyes started to water, but she was beyond caring. “I should have known that I hadn’t, though.”
There was no reason for her to hold back, she told herself, but she did anyway because try and she might she couldn’t act that way towards Aidan. “I don’t think we’re okay, and I can’t remember what normal was like for us, so take that as you will.” Could they go back to being friends? Were they even friends to begin with?
“You’ll get your text, and I expect my keys back at some point. Preferably before Monday.”
~*~
Her tirade made him go rigid and still, like an immobile statue planted in the earth in front of her. (And that’s what Anubis was, wasn’t he? That silent staring judgmental jackal, watching the necropolis.) “You said that you didn’t want to hear it. That you already figured it out. That you wanted to leave. So I respected your wishes.”
Aidan’s hands tightened on his coat. “So if that was a test of some sort -- reverse psychology, some way to get me to disobey you -- then I obviously failed. I can’t fight for you, Aria. I thought I might, but I can’t. Though you probably won’t believe me when I say this, I do like you a lot. But like I said when we were writing to each other, I just don’t--” He exhaled. “I’m not enough and it’s not enough. I like you a lot but I like someone else more. And I suspected it all along, and that’s what I was wrestling with during those three weeks. I thought I’d be able to get past it -- I wanted to get past it -- but I couldn’t. And I hated facing that about myself, but most of all, I hated that I ended up hurting you in the process. And I am sorry. Genuinely sorry. Which is why I kept saying that you deserve someone who will fight for you. Who’ll rank you above everything. Who’ll go that extra mile rather than stand back. And I apologise that it can’t be me, and that it took me this goddamned long to figure that out.”
It was as if a dam had cracked open, spilling forth all of the words he’d bottled up over the past several months. Everything he’d been biting back.
~*~
The entire time he was speaking, she stood there listening, ignoring the coldness in the air and the damp trails that marred her cheeks. She liked to think that if she wasn’t holding her boots in one hand and attempting to keep the wind from blowing her hair around with the other she’d wipe her face, but he already knew she was upset so what did a few tears matter?
Aria’s mouth opened and then closed. She should say something -- wanted to say something -- but what was there left to say? He laid himself bare before her, and it was everything she expected it to be. He cared for someone else, and had the whole time, but for reasons she couldn’t decipher didn’t see the need to say so before. He had said that he wanted to get past those feelings -- and thought that he could -- and now that she was mulling it over that bugged her. Was that his subtle way of saying that he had used her willingness to keep throwing herself at him as a test to see if he could force his way out of wanting to be with someone else? Her mouth opened again as her forehead furrowed, eyes cast towards the ground. “I have to ask--” she managed to get out before stopping herself. “No, on second thought, I don’t want to ask anything. It’s one of those questions that finding out the answer to won’t help at all. More like just make things worse.”
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a few seconds, until she got her emotions under control. When she opened them again, she smiled thinly, moving to start back up the path. “Thank you, for explaining. Good luck with whoever it is.” She wouldn’t say who she thought he meant, since he hadn’t.
~*~
He didn’t know what the question would be, but his mind leapt to its first immediate thought and he stalled on the verge of simply saying Madeleine’s name. It’s Madeleine. It’s Maddie. The words were right there, like a bullet cocked in the gun and ready to fire. This was the time to come clean, to lay it all out on the table --
But then the conversation ebbed back down. She probably knew, anyway. And much like a few minutes before, Aidan was calm and he was obedient, bowing his head to that collar and letting the name sink back beneath the surface, unsaid. His feet were planted squarely at a crossroads -- it seemed unbelievable that only half an hour ago, his hand wound into hers, he was considering throwing it all to the wind and simply making a pass at Aria -- but honesty was honesty. And he was firmly headed back where he’d always been. It was always going to be this way.
“Thank you for understanding. Text me when you get back, and you’ll get your keys before Monday.” His free hand clutched the keys in his pocket, and the cold metal dug into his palm.
~*~
She had no clue how to tell him that there was no other way she could be about this, having been in his position not all that long ago when Ben’s arrows had her hating herself for not realizing the depths of her feelings for both him and Arron. The difference was that she never hid anything, but he obviously had his reasons.
Now was not the time to split hairs over what had and hadn’t been revealed previously, now was about laying the foundation for that going back to being friends (or, in her case, stumbling towards moving past wanting to be more) that he mentioned before. Aria wasn’t a fan of awkward, and standing there watching him as he did a much better job than she could ever do of maintaining his poise she wanted to do something to see if she could get another unrestrained reaction from him. “If we’re ever going to get to some state of normal then all I can do is be understanding. Besides, you could have taken me upstairs, had your way with me, and then told me all this. Then I’d probably have to stop holding Arron back and let him kick your ass.”
The words were delivered in the blithe tone one would use for informing a customer of the daily specials, though there was definitely mischief in her eyes. “I’m still open to that, though, if you want.”
~*~
If he’d had a drink in his hand, he would have done a spittake. His carefully-honed poker face abruptly dissolved, and the subsequent look on Aidan’s face was priceless: unabashed shock, then embarrassment and self-consciousness (he even glanced around to ensure that they were alone), then narrow-eyed skepticism and wondering.
“Are you s--” It had to be a joke. It was a joke, of course. But might there be a grain of truth in it? He never fucking knew, when it came to things like this. He faltered. “Uh,” he said, eloquently.
~*~
Ah, there it was, the completely unscripted reaction of her dreams. Not that she would ever admit that he’d made any appearances in her dreams, girl had some pride left. Walking over, Aria bit her lower lip to stop the chuckling that was building up. He was so fucking cute when he was flustered, and all the more because she could tell it didn’t happen to him nearly often enough.
“Am I serious, is that what you were going to ask?” Between the various mood changes and reality checks her drunkenness had become less pronounced, not that he had to know that. “I was serious, but I won’t get offended if you say no. I didn’t ask because I think it’ll change anything, I asked because I genuinely enjoyed when we did it before, and if Arron can make a case for friends with benefits being a worthy way to spend an hour or two why should he have all the fun?” Not the best reasoning, but again, honest.
“Either way, we’re both walking in the same direction, so how ‘bout you stop being all you, give me back your coat, and escort me up to my dorm so I don’t get lost or decide to sleep on a bench?”
~*~
Aidan shook his head as he stalked forward to rejoin her again, but it was more befuddlement than directly turning down the offer. Somehow they’d gone from I’d rather walk the rest of the way alone and rejecting his coat, to shouting at him, to crying, to asking for the coat back and to escort Aria to her bedroom after all. No wonder he often felt like he was simply trailing along behind Aria, taking her lead and following in the wake of her emotions as she carved their path. She felt enough for both of them, and with enough passion to spare.
He offered up the jacket again; perhaps on some level he’d suspected that she would come around, since he hadn’t put it back on. It was sitting ready for her instead, draped over one forearm.
Even after she plucked it from him, however, he held his arm out and extended the crook of an elbow as a gentlemanly escort -- and as a walking aid. “I hear benches are very hobo chic this year,” he managed. Still no answer to the larger question at hand. But he hadn’t immediately turned it down, either. And at least the rest of the walk into the dorms would give him time to mull over the proposal.
~*~
Aria wouldn’t think to try and explain what went through her head, and if he were to ask about the thought processes that took her from point A to point B even she knew it wouldn’t make any sense to a regimented and structured mind like his. Somewhere along the line she’d determined that Aidan could use someone like her in his life, whether he knew it or not, because the friends he chose to surround himself with weren’t challenging him to break outside of the zone he’d grown so comfortable in. Their fervent respect for his boundaries had coddled him; she respected the boundaries as well but pushed against their limitations.
She eagerly took the coat back, dropping her boots so she could shimmy into it again before retrieving her shoes. The elbow was utilized, her hand resting comfortably on his arm as she let him lead the way.
“Hobo chic, you say? I did not know this,” she commented, falling into step beside him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Then again, I’ve never been one for keeping up with the latest trends outside of musical-related ones.” And even with those there were plenty she chose not to embrace. She wouldn't let there be silence between them, not after what happened last time. “Thank you again. For not running off.” A beat. "I'm thanking you a lot, tonight."
~*~
“Well. Running off was never on the agenda. Either I’d walk you in, or I’d stand outside patiently while you walked ahead and went in by yourself.” His free hand pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, before fluttering back down to his side. “Depending on how you ended up. And you probably shouldn’t thank me so much, since we’ve conclusively proven that I could have handled all of this quite a bit better. Are you alright?” Aidan tried to glance to the side without making it too astoundingly obvious that he was doing so. She’d managed to brush aside the tears a few moments back, and it was too dark beneath the streetlights to fully see the puffiness they’d left behind.
A small spear of guilt slipped its way through his ribs, for having been so stoic and unmoved while a girl literally cried in front of him. But as composed and unruffled as he looked (barring certain jokes about sex), the situation was still tearing him apart inside; Aidan was sitting on top of a seething mass of confusion and conflicted feelings.
~*~
“You sure about that? I wouldn’t blame you if you took off at the first chance you got. In fact, knowing me, I’d end up chasing after you.” A quick glance was directed at her shoes. “Or I’d throw a boot at you, and if it hit you use that as an opening to start another conversation.” She had terrible aim, regardless of her state of sobriety, but that wouldn’t stop her from trying. Aria wasn’t going to say anything about how silly it would be for him to wait outside while she went on ahead just because she was acting like a brat, but she absolutely side-eyed him hard. “You could have handled it better, I could have camped outside your door like a stalker... life’s too short for regrets.”
A soft sigh escaped her lips as she narrowed her eyes imperceptibly, avoiding the question. “I don’t remember the walk being this long. Times like this I wish I had my skates.” Despite her skill level, she was a disaster on skates when drunk, unless going backwards. Nudging him, Aria plastered a smile on her face. “You’re too quiet. Entertain me.”
~*~
“It’s not usually this long. It seems interminable this time because you’re drunk, and cold, and we’ve stopped about half a dozen times, and this conversation has been difficult,” he said dryly, for an instant sounding like an aloof spectator rather than an immediate participant in this awkwardness. Removed from himself, Aidan could look in on this scene and realise, yes, precisely how difficult and strange and surreal it was.
“I’m not the most ideal entertainer on short notice -- my straightforward jokes are terrible. Erm. I can tell you what I would’ve worn to the ABC party, though, had I gone: it would’ve been a black trashbag, or some white sheets turned into a toga. I briefly considered a potato sack, but decided that that was the worst idea in the world. I think wool is intolerably itchy, so I can’t imagine what wearing a potato sack for an evening would be like. Or how ridiculously unflattering it would look.” His head was briefly averted from hers, ducking down as he smiled in the approximate direction of their feet. “Good job on the bells, though. Attractive and creative.”
~*~
“I’m not entirely drunk anymore, but I can’t dispute the rest of what you said. In my defense, I’m not the one bringing up difficult stuff. I just wanted a ride home,” she replied, already trying to determine how many times she could remind him that he was the one playing twenty questions this time around. Usually, Aria was the one who started out asking the questions until he found a way to turn it around on her, but tonight she’d finally gotten him to open up. If she wasn’t still shaken up she’d pat herself on the back.
“And it’s really hard to tell when you’re being all dry and witty or when you’re insulting me, though I guess I set myself up for it.” His ideas for the ABC party were far better than what Arron had ended up doing, and hearing them made Aria feel like she was gypped. “That’s so not cool, you can’t tell me you had awesome, inspired ideas when you didn’t even come! You’re a bigger tease than Arron used to think I was. I call foul.” If she’d had a free hand she would have whacked him. “Seriously, the trashbag idea would have rocked. There were two guys in togas, Gavin and Fergus, and Arron just wrapped his boxers in caution tape.” She was still annoyed by that, though his compliment cheered her up. “And, they make noise when I shimmy!”
~*~
He laughed, and it came out as an inelegant snort -- she was being painfully endearing again, but acknowledging it would lead him down a slippery and treacherous slope. One he still hadn’t quite made up his mind on yet.
“Aren’t boxers going entirely against the one and only rule of an ABC party? -- And me, a tease? Now that’s something new. I’m sure I could whip something up at some point in the indefinite future, though it’d have to be a raincheck; I doubt you’re getting me into a trashbag tonight.”
Building lights swam out of the darkness ahead of them, and the dorms finally loomed up on the next block. Doors looking inviting despite being shut and locked, but of course they had pass-keys.
“Home sweet home,” Aidan said.
~*~
His laugh set hers off, the cackle coming out unrestrained as she shook her head. “Raincheck, huh? I’ll remember that. You don’t think I will, because I’ve been drinking, but I always remember what happens when I drink.”
It was a Dixon family curse, her father liked to say. “Yes, ohmigawd you weren’t even there and you knew that! He cheated, like a dirty cheater.” She shrugged again. “But whatever, he cheated, so he can find someone with a less cool costume to take home. Look at all the fucks I give.”
Admittedly, she would care who Arron took home if she hadn’t started to think maybe this night wasn’t going to be a complete letdown. No matter what else happened at least she and Aidan talked things out.
“Finally, took us long enough. My feet are frozen,” Aria whined.
~*~
“It’s in the name of the party, after all.”
Still operating in courteous mode, Aidan detached himself from her arm, swiped the electronic lock for them, and then held the door open at a wide swing so Aria could hobble her way in. Approximately four shots, he thought to himself as the jingling creature passed. He needed about four shots of liquor in his system if he were to execute the idea simmering in the back of his head, the vague suggestion that built up steam while her bare feet padded across the housing lobby beside him.
Instead, they gravitated towards the stairwell together. The hallways were mostly empty -- between their stopping and stalling and arguing and debating, the hour had crept onwards and it was getting late. One girl scurried past them, arms loaded with an overflowing laundry hamper, but that was it.
The stairwell. Second floor was Aria. Third floor was Aidan. This was where the fork in the path lay.
“So--”
~*~
“Anything but clothes, right there in the title.”
It was a good thing he was being courteous, since Aria would have felt silly when she remembered that her keycard was sitting in the pocket of her coat, which was still back at the club. Aidan’s pass-key would bypass her lock as well, so she wasn’t all that worried, but it was still frustrating to know that she couldn’t just be lazy tomorrow. She would have sent a text message to one of the party-goers asking if they could grab her coat, but she didn’t want to interrupt.
Keeping her grip on his arm to stop herself from potentially tripping up the stairs, she debated asking if he’d given any thought to her offer. That he hadn’t brought it up had her convinced he would stick to his entirely uninterested guns, but there was no harm in trying.
This was the moment, and if anyone knew anything about moments it was that you had to take them fast.
“You’re going to need to let me in my room. I know, inconvenient, but it’s either that or turn back time so I don’t forget my coat. Your call.”
~*~
There was a long pause while he mulled over it, as they came to a halt on the landing. Then, finally: “Or there’s the third option.”
There was a hint of a twinkle in his eye; not entirely mischievous, but almost there. This wasn’t his style. They weren’t in a relationship. They were just clawing their way out of a pseudo-almost-sort-of relationship, even. He’d declared his feelings for someone else. Surely, all of these were neatly ordered reasons in Aidan Graveley’s head re: why he should unlock her room and then leave her, disengage and go back to his own bedroom alone.
Yet she’d extended the offer regardless, and a man would have to be practically superhuman to turn that down. And Aria was almost sobered up by this point. This seemed a clear-headed proposition. Far more than the last one, even, because most importantly: they deserved at least one night together not under the influence of any mystical goddamned arrows. There was closure. Finality. There was a whole row of reasons backing him up and he was prepared to lay them out in front of her, a neat line of justification leading to --
But he didn’t need to. Instead, Aidan finally twisted his body, leaned in, and kissed her. Just like he’d been contemplating ever since taking her hand in that parking lot.
~*~
The entire time she was waiting for him to say something, she was working out the best way to remind him about her proposition. All those ideas flew out the window when he spoke.
Opening her mouth to ask what third option, she caught the look in his eyes and blinked, instinctively licking her lips out of nervousness. She couldn’t remember ever, on all the occasions they had spent time together, seeing that type of glint in his eyes, except one. And well, she didn’t really count that time, since they weren’t their true selves under the influence of Ben’s arrows. She had been Aria Dixon, certainly, but with her soft, squishy side turned up to eleven.
Of all the explanations she could have hoped for, the one she got didn’t disappoint. The kiss took her by surprise but not in a bad way, more like in the type of affecting her balance and equilibrium sort of way that had her leaning into him for support. If Aidan had intended to get her attention, he had found an effective way of doing it. Initially, she couldn’t react; although this was absolutely what she wanted in her head she imagined having to coax him into it, not him taking the reigns.
Once she became aware of what was happening, Aria kissed him back with all the pent-up longing of the past month, pouring as much of herself into it as she could stand before pulling back. “Wait... are you sure about this?” She was, but if they got all the way to one of their rooms and he put the brakes on... well, it wouldn’t be pretty.
~*~
She crashed against him and -- equivocal exchange -- Aidan pressed back, the two of them stumbling against the wall on the landing. When she paused and withdrew to ask the question, he chuckled, another low noise in the back of his throat. His shoulders moved into a shrug. “If you’re sure about this, then I’m sure about this. I’m-- we can’t be a couple, this isn’t changing anything, but I want something that’s our choice and ours alone. I’ve been thinking about it all night. Besides. You made some cogent arguments.”
A pause, an exhale of air, another captured kiss. His iron-clad grip on rationality was slipping, clouded and hazed over by her presence, how fully she’d thrown herself into it. Well, there was one way to easily shortcircuit Graveley’s higher functions. This was it.
It would make up for the way he’d been treating her. Wouldn’t it? It isn’t taking advantage if we both want it.
~*~
His warmth washed over her, and between the closeness and the kissing Aria had forgotten any complaints about the frigidity of their walk as she focused on the here and now. Gazing up into his eyes, she nodded, in complete agreement with everything he said. “I meant what I said earlier, I want you. I’m accepting that this won’t make us anything more than the friends we’ve decided to work towards, I’m not laying any expectations at your feet. This is just you and me, doing something that people do every day with even less consideration than we’re giving it. I won’t expect you to call me tomorrow, or even next week.”
There was more she could have said, but then he stole another kiss. She wanted to point out that from the way he was acting you’d think he was the one who would have made this suggestion, but now was not the time to pull a Dixon and screw everything up before it got to the good part.
“I guess this begs the question -- your room, mine, or this hallway? I’m good with whatever, but if you pick hallway then we might have an issue.”
~*~
“Not hallway,” he laughed. “If anyone came across two RAs--” Well, the rest went unsaid. It would be a compromising position, to say the least. But her words gave Aidan all the encouragement he needed and skimmed the last lingering doubts from his mind. “Yours is closer” he managed to say, before Aria threw herself on him again, his hands found their way into her hair, and they stumble-crashed their way towards her bedroom in a cacophony of merry jingling -- his keys unlocked her door, his jacket slipped from her shoulders and to the floor, and backwards they walked to her bed, like a dance but in reverse.