lancelot du lac ♘ sébastien marceau (royalthief) wrote in monte_logs, @ 2012-01-15 13:44:00 |
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Euterpe was in a panic. In the days following new year's eve and everything that had happened with Ares she was torn between reassuring herself that he'd obviously forgotten their encounter and kicking herself over wondering why he hadn't said anything. Her confusion over his lack of a reaction was making her act foolish; she'd told Maddie - a complete stranger - about how conceited he was and didn't dissuade the other girl from wanting to knock him down a few pegs; and the longer she kept what happened to herself the more likely to freak out she was growing.
This was why she requested a meeting with Bastien. From everything she'd seen in the entirety of the time they'd known each other he came off as passionate but intelligent, qualities she could use right about now. Besides, he was close, non-judgmental, and not likely to give her too much crap over her transgression. All in all, a perfect person to spill to.
Approaching his dorm room, she knocked on the door and waited. In one hand was a 'best of Amanda Palmer' mix she'd made for him, and in the other was some cookies for sharing. Hopefully he'd appreciate the gifts.
Being someone who was always genuinely surprised and pleased when receiving gifts, Lancelot likely wouldn't look at her gifts as anything but thoughtful. Reading tone was difficult through a computer screen, but knowing how Aria was like, he understood when she needed to speak about something privately, then it was important. And as a man, he was obligated to listen and not judge her. Not only as a man, though, but also as a friend and fellow RA. He'd said he wouldn't judge her; who was he to judge anyone?
The door was pulled open, and she was greeted with typical messy hair and a smile. "Come on in," he offered, stepping away to allow her inside. The items in her hands were eyed, but nothing was said regarding them.
Although gifts weren't expected when visiting friends and fellow RA's, Euterpe always took advantage of an opportunity to help someone expand their musical knowledge. The cookies were just because she had a bunch and didn't want to eat them alone, and she suspected the conversation with Bastien would go much better if she could distract him with tasty chocolate chip-laden goodness while he was being her ultra-cool buddy and absolutely not judging her.
She had plastered on her face what could only be considered a cheesy grin as she presented him with the prizes she'd brought before walking into his door. "Thanks for agreeing to talk, I come bearing gifts," she said, making said gifts dance.
A soft laugh was offered in return for her dancing bag gesture as Lancelot shut the door behind her. "Gifts? Why gifts?" He wouldn't refuse them, of course, but why bring them? To win him over, perhaps, to help him not judge her for what she was about to confess? Trying not to consider that this was about him somehow, he showed her over to the bed, yanking one of the pillows from under the covers and placing it on the edge of the mattress. He patted the pillow and took a seat next to it.
Somehow he had a feeling this was going to be a long talk.
The fact that her silly gesture got a laugh out of him made Euterpe feel a little better. "There's an ulterior motive behind them, but not in a bad way. The mix CD is so you can share my crush on Amanda Palmer, and the cookies are because shared cookies don't have calories." Taking the seat he indicated, she looked around with a vaguely impressed expression on her face. "Nice job decorating, I definitely like." Not that he'd asked her opinion... Aware she was delaying the inevitable, she took a deep breath.
"So, you know how I was the 'sober RA' on New Year's? Well, one of the students got bounced from a bar, they called me, we came back here, and... wekindaspentmostoftherestofthenightmakingout." She closed her eyes, wincing as she waited for his reaction.
Lancelot blinked. Her fast speaking came as something of a surprise, and as he held onto the mix CD, he wasn't entirely sure how to first respond. From what he'd gotten out of it, there was making out involved with a student. To be perfectly honest, it had been New Years; what was the harm in a little action? She was a grown girl; she could do what she wanted as long as it didn't compromise her position as an RA, or his.
Of course, on his end, that wouldn't have been possible. He was a knight sworn to a code. But God only knew how he would've dipped Teagan and kissed her breath away had he the chance once that clock hit midnight. That, however, was something else entirely.
His eyebrows went up a little. "And what's the problem?"
Euterpe opened one eye, peeking at Bastien to see if he looked as horrified as she felt. The silence stretched on as she opened her other eye, waiting on his response even as she inwardly continued beat herself up over something ridiculous. When he finally did say something she openly gaped at him for a few moments, spluttering inelegantly before responding. "What's the problem? I'm not the 'hook up with some guy for shits and giggles' type of girl!"
She fell back on his bed, hands covering her face as she continued. "And, the guy who I fooled around with happens to be the step-brother of the chick who my ex cheated on me with. He's been hitting on me since the day after we all arrived, and I kept telling him I wasn't interested because he'll sleep with anything that moves and I deserve better than that."
She picked up the pillow, hugging it. "Even worse... now I'm freaking out because it's been a few days and he hasn't said anything so I feel like a massive slut."
"To start with," the former knight began, shifting on the mattress to bring up one knee in order to face her, "what you're feeling is normal. But you're anything but a massive slut." The word felt strange coming off his tongue, yet there it was. Swearing in any language wasn't something he was accustomed to, but it was appropriate given the situation.
People like that, people who were such tools, were not worth the effort.
"True..." the muse started, a joking tone in her voice. "If I was a massive slut I'd totally be coming on to you right now." She waggled her eyebrows and pursed her lips, making kissyfaces at him before sitting back. Twirling a few strands of hair around her finger, she sighed softly. "I'm going to tell you a secret, and promise you won't laugh." She gave him a few seconds. "I've only been with one other guy, and so making out with this dude wasn't exactly planned. He kind of forced the issue, actually."
Thinking back on it, she could have done more than just punched at his shoulder if she really hadn't liked it.
To her credit, Lancelot at least gave her a smile for her kissyfaces. He wasn't going to dwell on the subject of himself and Aria for too long, and so he waited for her to keep going, understanding that this was 'shut up and listen' time. "Go on," he'd prompted once she'd given him that pause.
Upon hearing said secret, he didn't feel too surprised. After all, he never looked at Aria as a slut in any way. But one part did strike him as odd. His brows creased into a slight frown.
"How do you mean, he forced the issue?"
If he hadn't smiled Euterpe would have felt like a massive idiot so it was good that he had. She smiled back at him, feeling less embarrassed the more she got out. This was cathartic to her, and knowing Bastien was actually listening and seemed to empathize gave her hope that there were some really good guys still out there somewhere.
Biting her lower lip, she glanced down at his bed, taking a great interest in his bedspread when she started speaking again. "Well, we came up to my room, and he confronted me over how I kept turning him down." She pushed her hair behind her ear, sighing.
"And when I say confronted me I mean he got up in my face, and after I explained my reasons for not falling for his charms he kissed me. Took me totally by surprise. So I punched him in the shoulder, he grabbed me by the wrists, held my hands above my head, and did it again."
Her response triggered a more worried expression now on Lancelot's face. Grabbed her by the wrists? What else had he done? Was this why she'd needed to speak to him so urgently? Suddenly unable to help himself, he reached out and sought one of her smaller hands, folding it in his.
"Are you telling me he forced himself on you?"
Because it certainly sounded that way, or at least sounded as if that was the way it was going.
The worried expression on his face gave Euterpe pause as she glanced down at their hands, shaking her head quickly. "He pinned me down, but he just kissed me, and he cooled off a bit when I told him straight out that he was acting like a rapist. He didn't move off me, but he stopped trying to get into my pants." She ran her free hand through her hair, sighing.
"Which, knowing he acted like that, probably begs the question 'how did you end up making out with him?', right?"
She blushed, looking sheepish. "He kept going for my neck, and that's a sensitive spot for me, and it felt really nice, alright?"
"I'm not judging you for anything, Ari," the knight assured her with a soft squeeze to her fingers. "It's not my place to judge." And it was true: what could he really say? She was free to be sensitive where she liked, as long as things hadn't escalated into sexual assault and no blood had been spilled because of it.
He'd had enough of sexual assault lifetimes before this. Never again did he want to see it happen to anyone, particularly someone he considered a colleague and a friend.
"That's good, 'cause I'm definitely judging myself, Bastien," the muse said with a bitter laugh. "He's not even my type! He's not a musician, or an egotistical hipster douchebag, so I don't understand the attraction." She squeezed his fingers back, a smirk coming to her face. "Well that's not entirely true, he does have a massive ego. I just don't want to be another notch on his bedpost, you know?"
She wouldn't be spilling like this if she wasn't so sure that on some level Bastien understood where she was coming from. "I like relationships, stability, knowing that I'm with someone I can depend on. He offers none of those things... so why am I confused?"
A curl was brushed from Lancelot's forehead almost unconsciously. "Sometimes... we can surprise even ourselves. Physical attraction can't always be explained, which may be what you're feeling: physical attraction, not attraction to his personality. It's understandable that someone attractive would confuse you."
After all, he felt the same way for a certain blonde in the Admission office, only without the confusion and extra physical attraction.
The answer made sense as far as Euterpe was concerned, but it didn't ease her mind. "That could be what it is, I'm usually not attracted to the muscular types but I really can't deny he's easy on the eyes. Plus, his persistence is kinda cute." She paused, her eyes widening. "Oh man, I sound so lame... At least I can comfort myself with the fact that he's smarter than he looks."
In fact, it was initially his ability to keep up with her put downs and comments that captured her interest, the looks aspect came after.
Lancelot shook his head, a reassuring -- or so he hoped -- smile gracing his lips. "You don't sound lame, Ari. I promise."
There were many other things she could've said that could've been lame, but as far as he was concerned, this was a perfectly valid concern. He would've come to her with the same problem and not felt an ounce of lame upon revealing it.
Euterpe smiled in return, her feelings of idiotic guilt fading somewhat. "Thank you, Bastien. For that and for listening."
She leaned closer, giving him a quick but friendly kiss on the cheek. Smirking, she laughed softly. "Why couldn't I attract the attentions of a guy like you or Aidan, why did it have to be someone like this guy, who thinks he's the god's gift to women?"
There was a soft laugh from Lancelot. "That I can't answer. All I can say is that if it feels right, then pursue it. If it doesn't, don't. In the end, it's your decision, Ari."
Not that it wasn't this guy's decision too, but her own happiness was of the greatest importance here. It was what they were here to discuss, weren't they? Aria's feelings for this guy, or at least her physical attraction.
There was a soft laugh from Lancelot. "That I can't answer. All I can say is that if it feels right, then pursue it. If it doesn't, don't. In the end, it's your decision, Ari."
Not that it wasn't this guy's decision too, but her own happiness was of the greatest importance here. It was what they were here to discuss, weren't they? Aria's feelings for this guy, or at least her physical attraction.
Only just then noticing that their hands were still together, the former knight gave her fingers a light, friendly squeeze.
"Thanks. I will take you up on that someday," he promised, knowing that there were plenty of things he wanted to say, but the problem was knowing how to say them. In time, it would become clear. But for the moment, he was content to hear Aria's concerns and attempt to sort them out while he tried to sort out his own on the side.
Chivalry was far from dead.