kate bishop (hawkeyetwo) wrote in momadness_log, @ 2021-09-10 23:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | marvel: clint barton-dog, marvel: kate bishop, ~inactive: vision |
Who: Clint, Kate, and Vision
What: Travel to SF
When: After this conversation
Where: The Quinjet
Warning: TBD
Status: Completed via Gdoc
Clint said wheels up in 20, and Kate was ready in 10. She threw a toothbrush and pajamas into a bag, just in case, and headed to the quinjet. It was a long flight from New York to San Francisco, even with the speeds the jet could reach. And Kate was feeling emotionally exhausted, completely drained. Pepper had come by with a Drink for her, and while Kate had consumed the Irish Coffee and accepted the Pepper hug, she knew that she had things to take care of. Her main priority was Cassie.
After a brief phone call with Maggie, Cassie’s Mom, Kate made arrangements with Clint and Vision to head across the country and relay the news in person. It meant the world to her that they were both there to support her in this, because Kate was a wreck. Sure, she was putting on something of a stiff upper lip, but inside she was devastated--a cracked shell that was threatening to collapse in on itself. Thankfully, these were two people she trusted implicitly.
She climbed onto the jet, tossed her bag onto one of the seats, and took a minute to explore. She was really just trying to keep her mind occupied so she wouldn’t think too hard about what this all meant.
The jet wasn't empty. Clint was already in the cockpit doing pre-flight checks, because he'd literally meant wheels up. Even while mired in something of a literal existential crisis, Kate's pain had cut right through it. If nothing else, it gave him the impetus to unroll himself from the (purple) blanket burrito he'd been in, kiss Dylan and thank him for taking care of him, and then grab a shower just long enough to wash the sour stench of profound sadness from his skin. His hair was still wet, practically dripping onto his (purple) shirt, but it didn't matter.
Nothing mattered but helping Kate.
He only had one ear covered with the standard earphones needed, so he heard her knocking around in the cabin. Well, he presumed it was her. Vision—his Vision—was usually quieter. "We'll be ready to go in a few," he called back to her. "Do me a favor and see if there are any protein bars and/or a Red Bull or two back there? I'm sure someone's squirreled something away."
Vision had a soft spot for Scott after bonding with Cassie the day he showed her his powers. Scott was a good man and a good father; Vision was sad to see him go not only for Cassie’s sake, but for Kate’s. He couldn’t bear the thought of Kate going to San Francisco alone so he automatically offered to accompany her. Even after Clint offered to fly the jet, Vision kept his word. He knew Clint was in a bad way too so he’d do his best to be there for both of them.
Vision, like the other superheroes, was getting used to not displaying his powers. It was difficult for him not to fly up the stairs; instead, he took them one at a time, like a normal human. However, he was not in his human form. He wondered if he should morph before meeting Cassie’s parents. “Hello,” he said on entering the jet. “Should I change my appearance since we are leaving the compound?”
Kate nodded, then moved back to the little kitchen so that she could dig around in the fridge and the cupboards for food and drink. She found a couple of Red Bulls and some granola bars, and was headed back toward the cockpit when Vision stepped into the body of the plane. She gave him a tired, sad smile. “I think you’re okay for now. We’re pretty private on the plane.”
On a whim, Kate moved over to give Vision a hug. Hopefully he didn’t mind--they were close on the Young Avengers back in Kate’s world, but she didn’t know Vision all that well here. It was brief--no more than a couple seconds--but it meant the world to the younger Hawkeye. “Thank you for coming.” She said, softly, then moved to the cockpit quickly, her chin quivering just a little. She ducked her head to hide her emotion from him.
“Red Bull and granola bar,” Kate said, passing both over to Clint in the pilot’s seat. She couldn’t express how much she loved him in that moment. “How long will we be in the air?”
"Hey, Vis!" Clint waited to half-shout the greeting when there was a lull in the murmured conversation, and then there was his Katie-Kate, coming through in a pinch. If he hadn't already been belted in securely and gotten the straps just right, he would have bounced up to hug her tight. But he was, and they were on a schedule. Instead, he grabbed her hand before she could get away and just held it up to his cheek and gave the back of it a glancing kiss with the corner of his mouth. "This bird can handle high altitude maneuvering, so we don't gotta worry about staying in commercial air space. Military, yeah, but even so, I expect it won't take us more'n five hours an' some change."
His drawl was a definite sign that all was not well, but he was setting all that aside so he could do what he did second best. "Y'all go get belted in. I'll let you know when we're at cruising altitude."
Vision was surprised by Kate’s hug, but he definitely didn’t mind. She didn’t give him much of a chance to hug her back, but that was alright so long as it helped her. “Hello, Clint,” Vision replied in his usual calm tone. “Good to see you.” He noted some changes to Clint’s normal speech, but didn’t comment on it. Both Hawkeyes were going through hell; they didn’t need to be called on the obvious. “Sounds fine to me,” he added when Clint mentioned the flight length. He knew Kate wanted to get there quicker and he couldn’t blame her, but the jet was their only option just then. Maybe she could get some sleep? Humans needed rest.
Kate smiled another sad smile at the feel of Clint holding her hand against his cheek. Then she leaned over to kiss the top of his head before heading back to sit with Vision in the main body of the plane. She buckled in carefully, then turned her attention to Vision. Clint was in the cockpit, and Kate needed a distraction, so Vision was her temporary best friend. (Sorry Clint.)
“Vision. Talk to me,” she said, giving him a hopeful smile. “How is your job? I thought I saw something on the network about you working away from the Avengers Facility.”
Vision smiled softly at Kate. He wasn’t human so he didn’t always understand human emotions, but he did understand grief. He’d been there for Wanda when she lost Pietro, after all. Granted, Scott wasn’t dead, but it was a loss all the same. “My job? Well, it is boring,” he told her as the jet took off. “I work in an IT department trouble-shooting issues. It is quite easy for me and does not serve my life’s purpose of helping mankind.”
Vision hoped he didn’t sound ungrateful. “Not that I am not happy to be here with Wanda. I want a normal life with her very much,” he continued. “But it feels like something is missing most days.”
Thinking about Vision and his problems, and his life with Wanda (which looked and sounded amazingly wonderful and full of love) was so much easier than thinking about her own life right now. It felt like she had a gaping hole in her chest. Sure, Scott wasn’t dead. But he wasn’t here. And if Kate ever got him back? He wouldn’t be the same Scott that she’d fallen in love with. That Scott was gone forever, so far as anyone knew. So in a way it was like he was dead.
She wasn’t thinking about that.
“I know that feeling,” Kate said. “Helping people… that’s what I want to do. All day every day. With my bow and arrows. I haven’t had much chance to do any of that since I’ve been at the Avengers Facility. Maybe it’s time to… I don’t know.” Kate turned to glance at the cockpit where Clint was flying this thing. She had no Scott. Nothing to lose. “Maybe it’s time to… do more.”
Then Kate cleared her throat and turned back to Vision. She could keep a conversation going easily… maybe not the full five hours worth. But she could ask him about his boring job. Tell me everything, leave no detail unexplained. And if he was monotonous enough, he could quite easily lull her to sleep.
Vision was happy to bore Kate to sleep. Once she was out, he headed to the cockpit to check on Clint. “Hello, friend. Kate is asleep. How are you?” He heard about Clint’s world being destroyed on top of his friend going missing. Things had not been easy for the poor guy lately and Vision wanted to help if he could.
They were just about halfway there when Clint got his visitor. This part of flying the jet wasn't so bad, but it wasn't so engaging that his thoughts didn't drift from time to time. The sadness was compounding, doubling up on itself. He kept finding more and more things to miss, to mourn. An entire world—his world—gone. All the people, the places, the memories he'd made. Not just his world, though. His entire universe. Above the clouds as they were, he could just barely pick out stars past the blue bubble of Earth's atmosphere.
All those stars were gone now.
But now Vision was with him, and he had something to concentrate on that wasn't quite so soul crushing. He motioned to the co-pilot's seat and then pulled back the earphone closest to his friend so he could hear him better. Clint also offered him the best smile he could, but it was a wan, gray little thing. "'Bout as well as I can be. Glad to be doing something, I guess. If the universe hadn't had other plans, I'm sure I would've been wallowing for another week at least. I'm sure she's already said it a bunch, but thanks for coming. And thanks for being our friend here. My friend. I know I'm not the man you knew, so it's especially kind of you to be as kind as you and Wanda and the others have been." He sent the other a sideways smile. "How 'bout you? Excited for the wedding? How much is Wands actually letting you do?"
Clint’s words touched Vision. Sure, he didn’t have a heart in the traditional sense, but he still felt emotions and still empathized with his friends. He just wished he could do more for them right then. Sadly, he knew nothing but time would heal them and, even then, the grief would never entirely go away. As he told Wanda once, grief was love persevering. “It is I who am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life,” he replied before chuckling about the wedding planning. “She understands more about these traditions, but now that you bring it up, I wanted to ask you if you would be a groomsman for us?”
Only years and hundreds of hours of flight time kept Clint from doing something stupid like jerking the plane in one direction or another as his head whipped around, mouth parted in shock. His expression quickly morphed into pure delight. Unadulterated happiness pierced through the thick cloud of sadness hanging over his mind, if only for a few precious seconds. "Fuck, yeah! Uh, I mean, yes. Yeah. Yeah, that would be amazing. I'd be honored. Let me know if I can help. I've been through a couple. What's your color theme?"
Vision was pleased that Clint seemed excited about his request. Vision felt a little cut off from most people since he felt like he wasn’t doing enough; like he told Kate, his job was mundane and he wasn’t built for a 9-5. Still, Vision considered people like Clint, Bruce, Steve, and Thor still friends even if they weren’t fighting alongside each other. “Color theme,” Vision, obviously perplexed, repeated. “Oh dear. I must check with Wanda. There are colors involved?” He did a quick scan of his processing system. “Oh, yes, I see now. It is customary to pick two colors and a theme. I wonder if Wanda has done this.” He suddenly thought he wasn’t doing enough for the wedding. He’d make it up to Wanda.
Feeling a little like he might have just opened a can of worms, Clint ducked his head apologetically as a flush worked its way up the back of his neck. "I know typically the bride tends to do the brunt of the planning and decoration design. She'd probably be delighted if you pitched in or at least offered. It can get stressful quickly. And don't get me started on the whole ridiculous wedding markup racket." He rolled his eyes, but this mundane conversation was much preferable over the fug of his brooding. And then just like that, his brain switched tracks. "I wanted to wait a bit before talking about this, but why not when we're stuck at 20,000 feet? But I guess first I need to know if you've signed the Accords."
Ah, the Accords. “I was originally for them, yes,” Vision replied. “I signed when they originally came to be, but then Wanda and I were on opposite sides and it was a complete mess. I was loyal to Tony, you see. Still am. He created me.” He paused. “We had to go on the run because Wanda was wanted. I abandoned the Avengers, which is all I could do at the time.” Hmm. Maybe he wasn’t as loyal to Tony as he thought. A new emotion stirred within him - guilt. Vision glanced away. “It was a dark time. Why do you ask? Are you considering signing?”
After a moment wherein he considered Vision's profile from the side, Clint decided that if he couldn't trust him, then he couldn't trust anyone. "No. But I am considering putting together a couple of my own teams. More than considering. Planning. Have reached out to the possible members. Found a base of operations. I just want to have a team who can and will do the things the Avengers can't because they're hogtied by the goddamn Accords." His jaw was ticking with an irrational anger left over from his own experiences with this crap on his world. Which… was still gone, so what did it matter. All at once, he deflated. "You're welcome to join, if it doesn't put you in conflict with the others. Or you could just consult from time to time. Assist us in the field or whatever."
Vision noticed that Clint tensed while speaking of the Accords. He couldn’t blame him; they were a sore subject for many people. However, he nodded to Clint’s invitation. “I want to protect my family,” he confided, “but I want to help mankind too. If I can be of service to you, I will be. But what about Wanda? Must I keep this from her?”
A chuckle bubbled out of Clint, and he shook his head. "Oh, god, no. She would kill me all over again, and just… no."
“Kill you?” Vision frowned. “Literally? No, she would not.” He was perplexed by his wording. Did Wanda kill Clint in some other reality? Vision could not promise Wanda wouldn’t be mad, however. “Alright,” he added after a beat, “If you need me, you can come to me.”
Clint blanched, realizing his slip. He was too wrapped up in his head, and the memories were far too close to the surface. "No. Not literally. Not here." Back to subdued, the happiness and hope from a moment ago overrun by everything else. He should have thanked Vision and then changed the subject. But he didn't. "I'm not surprised that she brought down Thanos. I know it wasn't the Wanda we know, but I'm speaking from personal experience when I say that she could be. She told me about the town she changed. That's just the tip of the iceberg of what she can do. I'm glad you have each other. I hate to see the person she could become without you."
“She told you?” Vision asked. “She is quite powerful.” He did catch on to the “not here” bit, but he didn’t press. Clint was dealing with a lot so he wouldn’t pile on the crap. “We are good for each other,” Vision insisted, “but thank you. Your support of our relationship has always been important to us.” He glanced toward the door of the cockpit. “Maybe I should check on Kate? We’re nearly there, are we not?”
Clint's smile was sad, and there was nothing he could do about it. "You're my O-T-P." He checked a couple of things on his dashboard before answering. "We're still a couple of hours out, but, yeah, go check on her, please? She's a Hawkeye. Good at faking being okay."
Kate wasn’t just good at faking being okay. Kate was excellent at faking being okay. She had dozed, had actually slept a little, but her mind kept wandering and she kept trying to figure out how she was going to tell that little girl--the girl she loved so dearly--that her father was gone.
She was still asleep when Vision came back to check on her. She could sense more than see or hear him come in, and she slowly blinked her eyes and woke up.
“Are we there yet?” Kate asked, feeling groggy and rubbing at her eyes. That part wasn’t faked.
Vision shook his head. “I am sorry, Kate, there is still some time before we land.” He slid into the seat next to her. “Did the nap help a little bit?”
Kate shook her head. “No.” But the Red Bull might. Kate took hold of it and popped the top open before sipping. “Maybe I should invest in some headphones. I can’t seem to get my brain to stop… it keeps going back to places that I don’t want it to be.” She couldn’t stop thinking about… She sipped again.
Vision hated hearing how horrible she felt, but he was glad she admitted it. Humans tended to explode when they hid their feelings too long. “Perhaps I can tell you another boring story? Will that help?” He imagined she was cycling between worrying about Scott and worrying about Cassie. “At home, Wanda and I like to watch old television shows to distract ourselves. Perhaps we can queue up the data pad?”
Kate nodded. A boring story would be very helpful. But then he suggested old television, and that sounded like the best idea. “Can we watch something? Something that’s happy. And stupid. And everyone has a happily ever after.” Kate leaned her head over on Vision’s shoulder as they sat side by side on the plane. She felt her nose burning, but refused to let the tears come.
Vision immediately thought of Wanda’s favorite, Dick Van Dyke, and loaded it on the data pad, which filled the rest of their time until landing. He was perfectly content to sit in silence and allow Kate to lean on him - whatever she needed.
Fortunately for all parties involved, Stark seemed to have his own private airfield in pretty much every major city in the world. And Pepper, divine goddess that she was, already had an SUV and driver waiting for them on the tarmac when they landed, which they did right on schedule. Clint did the last few systems checks while the plane shut down, and then went back to join the other two. "So, we're coming with you to the house, but do you want us to go up with you or stay in the car?"
As much as Kate wanted the support of having Clint and Vision by her side for this, she knew that it was something she should probably do on her own. She climbed up from the chair and shrugged her shoulders gently. “I didn’t mention to Maggie that I’d be bringing backup. It might make things more awkward with Cassie if I come with an entourage.” Kate said, even though she wished she could. “I… I don’t know how long it’s going to take.”
“Take as long as you need,” VIsion quickly replied. “Clint and I can entertain ourselves.” He reached out to tap Kate’s shoulder briefly. “We’ll be here when you return.”
As much as he figured this was just delaying the inevitable, Clint knew that as soon as they left the plane there'd be no time for this until after the deed was done. So he took the few steps needed to close the distance between himself and Kate and hugged her close and tight and for a long, long time while he tried to keep the fine tremors going through his body from being too noticeable. "It's gonna suck," he whispered. "For a long time. And then it's gonna suck a little less. And eventually it might only suck a tiny bit, if w—if you're lucky."
"Thanks, Vision," Kate said with a nod before she was swept up in a hug by Clint.
If only Kate had been a little less self-centered. If only she'd been a little less self-absorbed, a little less focused on her own pain, her own problems. Learning that their world had been destroyed (possibly, because she was still in denial about it) was a heavy blow. But it was nothing compared to the hole in her heart that Scott left behind.
She wrapped her arms around Clint and hugged him fiercely. She listened to his words, but didn't believe them. There was absolutely no way this was gonna suck less. At least, it was gonna get a lot worse before it got better. And Kate didn't have a lot of hope that it was going to get better at all.
After a moment she withdrew from the hug, then turned to lead the way to the car. It wasn't that far of a drive to get to Cassie, Maggie, and Paxton's house. And then it was a long walk up the front steps to the door, to head inside and relay the worst news of young Cassie's life.