Steve Rogers (onurleft) wrote in momadness_log, @ 2021-09-08 18:00:00 |
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Entry tags: | marvel: steve rogers, teen wolf: derek hale |
Who: Steve Rogers and Derek Hale
What: Derek's plans don't go quite the way he expected, Boyfriendly time, and Steve hears Tony's message and breaks down
When: Saturday, Sept 4
Where: Steve's Room
Warnings: NSFW within
Status/Warning: Completed via Gdoc
Evidently, the best laid plans meant exactly nothing in the face of pulling almost a week of double shifts because portal activity had mysteriously picked up over the last few days, and security was already at high alert with Tony's vanishing act. It meant that instead of being awake and ready to greet his boyfriend the way he really wanted to, Derek had fallen asleep atop Steve's bed. The book he'd been reading had apparently slid to one side off his chest, and FRIDAY had turned the lights down to a warm glow.
It would have been romantic, him lying there in only a pair of black boxer briefs and freshly showered—ready, waiting for his Soldier to come home. But waiting had turned into hours, and the call of sleep had sunk its greedy claws into him. He was in so deep he never even stirred when the door finally opened.
It'd been a very, very long week. Without Tony around, the place needed constant attention or things felt like they might fall apart--especially with Pepper not at 100%. (She was entitled to being not at 100%. It was a good thing that she was taking time to herself, or to spend with "her kids"... to handle the stress and grieve in the way she needed to. Even if this was temporary, the worry, the stress, the whatever... it was traumatic and a lot for anyone to take.) Steve had been running around like a chicken with its head cut off for a while now, and it was exhausting. ...yet, he wasn't sleeping well. He'd been having trouble falling asleep, and when he was sleeping he'd been having nightmares. Probably due to the stress and the grief.
Steve headed back to his room a lot later than he'd been planning, and let himself in... only to find his boyfriend asleep on his bed, barely clothed, and with a book. Actually, it was one of the nicest sights he could imagine. Steve closed the door as gently as he could, then toed his shoes off before quietly crossing the room. Did Derek's super hearing work when he was asleep, too?
Maybe it was a subconscious thing, but one end of Derek's mouth curled up slightly just a second after the door opened. Steve. Even in the deepest reaches of slumber, he would know that sound anywhere, would know his Soldier, his boyfriend. The heartbeat was a beacon to the waking world, and he followed it up slowly. His hand was already reaching for him before he'd reached the surface, and he sighed, quiet and content. "Steve…"
Everything outside of the room seemed to melt away when he was with Derek. When the two of them were together, nothing else mattered. “Hi,” Steve took hold of Derek’s hand and slipped onto the bed beside him. He lifted his Wolf’s hand and kissed his knuckle, then lowered it gently into his lap. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Despite the fact that he'd never made it under the covers, Derek was still sleep warm and at least conscious enough to start moving toward the gravitational pull of his boyfriend. It put his arm firmly against Steve's thigh, which was good for a start. He chuckled, low and gravelly. "Didn't mean to be asleep when you came home." Reaching across with his free hand, he patted at his boyfriend's knee. "How was your day?"
"Long," Steve admitted with a soft chuckle. He brought his free hand down to rest on Derek's side, drawing their bodies closer together. Even though Steve was sitting up and Derek laying down. They'd have to fix that soon. "If I'd known you were waiting for me here I would have cut it quite a bit shorter. The last couple of hours were agony." He leaned down to press a soft kiss against Derek's lips.
Derek's hum of concern quickly became something else entirely when those lips found his. Want was a living thing curled up inside of him; it didn't take much to get that part of him awake again. Suddenly, having Steve over him but not against him was intolerable.
His eyes flashed red when he finally opened them, and maybe he used some of his innate skill to rectify their positions by pulling his Soldier on top of him. Once they had settled, however, he set aside the ferocity in favor of tracing the edges of Steve's face with the tip of his finger. "I saw your netpost. Is this agony more of the same or something new?"
Derek’s reaction took Steve’s breath away. He moved with his Wolf, laying down gently but still holding most of his weight above the other man with hands pressed into the mattress. It took him a moment to settle down. His breathing slowed and he closed his eyes, simply enjoying being there with his boyfriend. Only, he wished there were less clothes separating them. “Hmm?” He asked, then frowned slightly--a small crease running between his eyebrows. “You mean the stress of the situation? It’s… nothing new.” Steve was trying to keep it together still, trying to prove his worth. Trying hard for everyone else.
With Steve holding himself a little away like he was, it made it easy for Derek to start the process of untucking his shirt just so he could get at the smooth skin underneath it. He was now awake enough to fully appreciate the tension rolling off his boyfriend in waves. It seemed to be rooted deep, a pain he seemed to carry with him right next to his heart. "What is it?" he mumbled lowly and pressed his palms flat against the ridges of Steve's stomach. The last remnants of sleep were driving him now, obliterating any barrier that would have held him back from continuing. "Why do you keep so much inside of you when I'm right here? When I want to know? Let me in, Steve. Let me see you."
Steve took in a sharp breath at the feel of his Wolf's hands on his stomach. He lowered himself down onto his elbows, dipping his head down so he could kiss the side of Derek's neck. "You do see me," Steve responded, then another kiss. And another. "No one has ever seen me the way you do."
"Then tell me." It was so easy to give in to this man, to turn his head and expose his neck like he could never afford to do for anyone on his Earth without them seeing it as a sign of weakness, of submission. He groaned as each press of Steve's mouth shot south. His hands curled, blunt human nails digging shallowly into the skin of his abdomen. He wanted more, he wanted it all. He wanted all the things Steve couldn't tell him. But especially all the things he wouldn't. Derek felt his hips roll up in search of more pressure, more friction. "Talk to me about anything. Everything. After we've finished taking each other apart." He couldn't help his short laugh or the way he cut his gaze back to Steve's face with a smirk. "Maybe a couple of times."
Steve couldn’t stop the smirk from crossing his features. He nuzzled his nose against Derek’s neck, feeling his Wolf practically thrusting up against him. In a moment, Steve had repositioned just a little, slipping his knee between Derek’s thighs so he could really settle down on top of him. “All right.” His voice came out breathy and desperate, wanting more. It felt so good to be here with his boyfriend, to be loving him and being loved by him, and to know they trusted each other. It was physical and emotional and Steve wanted more, too. He leaned in to kiss Derek hungrily, one hand lifting to wrap around the back of Derek’s neck, holding him there. Holding him tight.
Something primal shifted inside him the instant Steve put his hand where it was now. It was such a subtle giving in that Derek barely even recognized it. A sound of want, of surrender prised its way out of his throat, only to be swallowed up by a plundering tongue and lips that were well on their way to making his toes curl. His need to have Steve naked and touching every part of him crashed through him, temporarily obliterating his former concern and worry. He pulled at the back of Steve's shirt and then reached between them to get his pants open, but neither of them seemed very inclined to separate for long enough to finish the disrobing process. A tiny pause for breath was just long enough for Derek to get out a fervent, "Fuck, I love you."
That was not exactly how Steve would have put it. Steve didn't use that kind of language. But he could absolutely understand the sentiment. He wanted Derek just as much as it seemed like Derek wanted him. The tiredness and stress that he'd been feeling for days on end now was melting away. All Steve wanted now was to feel good. To show Derek how much he loved him, how much he wanted him. "I love you," he responded between kisses.
It was very difficult to get his clothes off from this angle, but after a couple of moments of struggling, his pants were down around his knees, and his shirt was up and over his head, tossed aside onto the floor. Steve didn't let his lips part from Derek's for more than a couple of seconds at a time.
Unfortunately, Derek wasn't particularly helpful in this frustrated disrobing, because he was far too busy touching and mapping out every inch of skin as it was revealed. He shoved his own boxer briefs down as far as he could—which got trapped at his thighs by his boyfriend's leg—and stretched a hand out to grope for a particular bottle. All while being kissed breathless and returning the act in kind. Those tiny words thrilled through him every time. He hoped they would never lose their magic. No, he knew they would never lose their magic.
All of this was still a shock to his system sometimes, that he got to have this, that he got to be as happy as he was every time he was with Steve. Derek groaned into his mouth even as he slicked up his hand and then got it between them so could take his boyfriend in hand and make good on his suggestion. After a few strokes, he shifted just enough to get his fingers around both of them. "This what you want, Steve? After a long, hard day? Someone to take care of you like you deserve?"
Everything about being with Derek made Steve's life better. Everything. He felt his boyfriend's hand wrap around him and Steve inhaled sharply. It was so good. Becoming so familiar. Sex with Derek was beyond his wildest dreams. Each time they did it was better than the last, and made Steve want it that much more.
Steve swallowed hard and nodded, pressing his forehead into Derek's temple. He couldn't even form words at the moment. His brain had shut off. Finally, he found what he wanted to say. "Yes. Yes, please."
Another magic word that shot straight through him. It wasn't begging—they weren't there yet—but it was close enough to make him growl his approval while his eyes flashed again. This time it was Derek who commanded the kiss with the fingers of his free hand tangled up in Steve's hair while the other worked him over. Derek knew he wouldn't last long, not with this hunger building ravenous between them, but they both had stupid fast refractory periods. In fact, he was pretty sure the only thing keeping them from having sex 24/7 was the fact that Steve had responsibilities and Derek wasn't designed for the life of a "kept boy". A pity, but what mattered the most to him right in that moment was Steve's pleasure. He caught his boyfriend's earlobe between his teeth and bit it gently. "Gonna come for me, sweetheart? I know you need it. Know you deserve it. C'mon, Stevie, you're so good. Let it all out."
Steve wasn’t going to take long. He was desperate and his boyfriend’s touch moved him so. They’d only been doing this for a few weeks and already Derek knew exactly where and how to touch Steve to make him hard, make him come, and make him hard again. It was likely that tonight they would please each other a couple of times before crashing and finally sleeping. Steve nodded. “Oh yeah, gonna come for you,” he breathed, letting the pleasure build within him like bubbles in a bottle of champagne. “I need it. Oh, God, I need it.” Words failed him after that. He came with his face pressed against the side of Derek’s head, his body shuddering in his release.
He felt drunk on the way Steve's body moved against him, the sharp note of his spend in the air sending Derek right over just after him. Turning his face, his lips caught his boyfriend's as he gentled their way through the first of the promised climaxes, murmuring praise between soft kisses and a teasing tongue. And just as he predicted, it didn't take all that long before things turned heated again, and they'd both navigated a second and then even a third orgasm together. Derek lost all track of time after that, as their bodies cooled but remained curled around each other.
(The reality of having only a communal bathroom at their disposal meant they'd invested in fragrance free wipes, which weren't the best, but worked better than trying to slink to the showers without anyone noticing. It wasn't that Derek was ashamed or anything like that, he just figured there was enough gossip without adding to it.)
Sleep had finally claimed them both in what he assumed were the wee hours, and Derek was more than content to lie in his boyfriend's arms until kingdom come, but his hyperacute hearing picked up on a buzz the penetrated his hazy dreams before the alert actually sounded. His hand lanced out to snatch the offending data pad from the bedside table before realizing it was Steve's. He lay back down and poked his chin into his boyfriend's chest, his beard scratching against the smooth skin. "Hey, wake up, Soldier. 'S for you."
Steve was dreaming. He was out cold, wrapped up in Derek's arms, completely satisfied. For the first time in a few nights--felt like a lot longer--he wasn't having nightmares. But then Derek rolled over and spoke to him gently. Steve woke with a start, turning to look up and around the room, the darkness leeching away from his vision quickly. "What?" He asked, finally turning to look at Derek. "What is it? What happened?" Steve accepted the data pad from Derek and unlocking the screen so he could turn off the alarm.
"...it's... Tony. It's from Tony." Steve said, and clicked the button. The message played. Steve felt like his heart had stopped. He held his breath as he listened. "Steve, don't..."
The recording finished. Steve's breath came out in a shaky sigh.
Tony's voice may have been this small, tinny thing, garbled by interference and some kind of high whine that instantly set Derek's teeth on edge, but it filled the entire room with the man's presence. Or, really, the presence of his absence. Derek watched his boyfriend carefully and closed his fingers gently over the hand holding the data pad in a vice grip. His scent was a jumble he couldn't quite untangle to figure out what was most prevalent, so he kept his tone low and quiet. "Steve, this is good, right? He's alive. He's out there. It's going to be okay."
It was likely the relief that hit him hardest. Relief that Tony-- his friend, his teammate, the man he had gone to battle with, the man he had gone to battle against-- was still alive. As much as Steve was putting up a great front at the facility, there was a large part of him that had lost hope. And now? Hope was back, and it burst through his chest like a painful explosion of energy. Before he could try to stop it, a sob escaped him. It was so very unlike him, unlike Captain America, but even supersoldiers had feelings. He was only human. The first sob was followed by another, and Steve lifted his free hand to cover his face, trying to get a grip on himself.
Crying was something Derek did not know how to handle. His first instinct was to ignore it, but he knew that was wrong. So instead, he put himself in Steve's shoes. Imagined it was Laura. Or his mom. His heart clenched then, in sympathy or empathy or whatever thing that made him reach out so he could tug at Steve's hands. "Hey. Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. It's really okay. Don't hold back because you think you need to, not for me, but especially not for yourself. I'm here, you're here. Tony's out there, but he's here."
If he’d been in his right mind at the moment, he would have felt terrible for doing this to Derek. He didn’t want to burst into tears in front of his boyfriend at 3am. But he couldn’t help it--there was too much emotion, too much stress. When Derek tugged at him, Steve turned and wrapped his arms around his Wolf, letting the tears come. Maybe this was what he needed. A good, solid, ugly-cry, at before-the-sun, with someone who loved him holding him and telling him everything was gonna be okay.
It didn’t last long. It felt like both hours and seconds before Steve was able to pull himself together. He wiped at his face with his hands, feeling more embarrassed now than anything else. “I’m s-sorry,” he said, lifting the sheet to press against his eyes.
Derek was quiet throughout, silent, but he hoped in a comforting way. His hands moved across Steve's back and arms and gentled away his tears with light kisses and tenderest swipes of his fingers until Steve went quiet and then pulled away. It was the kind of outpouring of a man pushed too far for too long, and Derek had to wonder if this was just the first time in a long time, or if this was the first time. If he'd ever cried over Bucky or Sharon or the life he'd had before.
But he didn't say any of that or ask. All he did was keep touching his boyfriend in small, supportive ways, never letting him get too far or retreat into himself again. "You don't have to apologize. You never have to apologize for showing me your feelings, good or not-so-good. It's what I signed on for when I had a dumb break down on the network."
Steve gave a very soft chuckle, finally opening his eyes to look into Derek’s again. They were electric blue--more blue than ever before--though red-rimmed and puffy from the crying. He had a small smile on. “I love you and your dumb break-downs on the network. Where would we be if you hadn’t?” A part of him wanted to think they would have gotten here eventually, but he knew it might not be true. He might be still dating May right now. Derek might be with Dylan. They would probably both have been happy enough. But thank god his Wolf had hit the post button.
Steve took a deep breath, finally feeling like he was in control again. His head was starting to ache from crying. His arms felt tired. He lifted the data pad and glanced at it again. “Jesus, it’s so late.” Or early, really. “Should we… go back to sleep? Or go get some breakfast and get the day started?”
Keeping one hand against the side of Steve's face, his thumb moving gently against the ridge of his still damp cheekbone, Derek chuckled and ducked his chin, face warm with remembered embarrassment. "I love you too, and I'd rather not think about a what-if that doesn't have you in it with me." His palm flattened around the side of his boyfriend's neck; he could smell the slight acrid tang of the building pain, but at least this was something he could handle for his boyfriend.
"Sleep." He said it decisively as black threads wound across the back of his hand and up his arm. "Sleep now, breakfast later, and then back to taking on the world again in a few more hours."
Steve felt the pain leaching from his head. He felt exhausted now. Far more than before. He leaned forward to rest his forehead against Derek’s, his eyes falling closed. “You know you don’t have to do that.” He offered gently, but gave Derek a little tug so they could lay back down together. His data pad forgotten, as the pair settled back down on the bed, it fell to the floor. “Will you have breakfast with me?” Steve asked. He didn’t care if every head in the place turned. He needed his boyfriend at his side.
He missed Steve's bright blues almost as soon as they were gone; so much better than the harsh shade of his own pre-Alpha killer blue. Derek set the thought aside as they got settled again. Didn't seem necessary to point out that he knew he didn't have to take the other's pain, but he would keep doing it unless Steve asked him not to. The offer and all its implications didn't make him pause in the slightest. He grinned where he'd tucked his face into the crook of his boyfriend's neck. "Yeah, I'd like that. A lot."