Derek Hale (allhalethealpha) wrote in momadness_log, @ 2021-09-01 21:23:00 |
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Entry tags: | marvel: steve rogers, teen wolf: derek hale |
Who: Derek Hale and Steve Rogers
What: Checking in
When: After this
Where: Derek's Room
Warning: Low, some language, some feels
Status: Completed via Gdoc
The warmth against his side had been all wrong. Too small. And the weight across his chest had lacked the comforting bulk he'd gotten used to. They were gone now, had been gone for a little while yet, which was honestly a relief. At this point they seemed more like a dream than a memory. The trip from the portal room up his room was kind of a haze, because he wasn't yet fully awake. All Derek had known was that he wanted his own bed, which was a strange thought to have had, but the whole universe had taken on a surreal quality. Something in him knew these weren't the right circumstances for him to wake up fully yet.
He felt more than saw the presence he'd been missing as he cracked an eye open. Derek only had to look a little to the side before concerned blue eyes caught his own. A little line had formed between his boyfriend's brows, and Derek wanted nothing more than to reach out and smooth it away with his thumb. Instead he smiled slowly. "Hi."
Steve definitely didn't like the idea that Derek--his Derek--had been attacked with some kind of sleeping magic. He'd gone down right away to check in, and had helped Derek up to his room to sleep it off. Whatever it was. Then he waited. He paced the small room, he sat by Derek's bedside, he picked up a book from the nightstand and read. And he waited.
Soon, Derek stirred. Steve closed the book and gave Derek his full attention, leaning down and over a little with concern on his brow. "Hi." He said, then lifted fingertips to touch Derek's forehead, as if taking his temperature. "You scared me."
As the last of sleep drifted away, the memory of what happened before hit Derek like a freight train. The smile he'd been wearing morphed quickly into a glower as he sat up quickly and shook his head. "Goddammit." He growled and pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes until he saw stars. After, he let his hands drop to his laps as he frowned down at them. "It was that girl, wasn't it? The one from the portal. She had something. A weapon, maybe? And she said—what did she say? Fuck. It was magic, wasn't it? I fucking hate magic."
"Some kind of a staff, I think." Steve said, setting the book aside as Derek suddenly sat up. "Some kind of magic spell. I don't know what she did. As soon as I found out I came straight to you." Steve frowned a little, folding his arms across his chest.
"What happened? She came through... and attacked without provocation?" Steve asked, eyes scouring his Wolf's face for any sign of lingering effects.
All it took was seeing Steve's arms like that for Derek to realize he really wanted them around him. He reached for them, pulling them gently but surely away from Steve's body and toward his own. For the life of him, he wasn't sure why. And then it hit him: he only got the desire to be really cuddly like this after he'd gotten a decent night's sleep. And what he was feeling now was way more than decent. With a lot of effort, he pulled his mind back to the girl with the staff.
"She looked terrified, even on the monitors. Not confused, just scared. Freaked. Ivy and I headed over to give her the usual rundown, but before either of us could say more than 'calm down,' she waved her wand or stick or staff or whatever, and that… was that." Derek grimaced down at himself. "I think I kind of hate that I actually feel really good right now."
When Derek reached for his arms, Steve let them be peeled away from his body. He moved in and enveloped his boyfriend in those arms, sliding onto the bed beside him. Steve was listening carefully, his brow furrowed just a little as his arms tightened around Derek.
“Why… why do you think that is?” Steve asked, sounding confused and concerned.
The more Derek examined the answer forming in his head, the more reluctant he was to say anything aloud. Still, he owed it to Steve to be honest. Derek laid his head on his boyfriend's shoulder and let out a sigh as some of the tension in him released. "I can't remember the last time I've slept through the night without having some kind of nightmare. And I know I woke up a little to get here, but even then—no bad dreams. I'm not sure what I dreamed, but I think they might have been happy? Hopeful? It's… It's the feeling I have when I'm around you. But I hate that it was… forced on me, you know? I should be grateful, but all I feel is violated."
Everything about what Derek said hurt Steve to his core. Nightmares. Forced on me. Violated. All the things that Steve wished he could prevent--that he could protect his boyfriend from. And there was absolutely nothing he could do to help. His arms tightened a little around Derek, holding him close for a long moment.
"I'm so sorry, Derek," he said, very softly. "There’s nothing should about it. You don’t have to feel anything--or, what I mean is that your feelings are true, correct, and valid. Don’t hold it against yourself if you’re not feeling what you think is right.” ...had he just turned into Sam?... “If I could take it back, I would." The violation was what hurt the most. Magic was like that, wasn't it? No one chose to get into a fight, but when they did at least their actions were their own. Steve knew about that. I could do this all day. But magic was just... unfair.
It wasn't the reaction Derek was expecting, and it almost completely overwhelmed him. All he could do was stretch his neck far enough to tuck his face into the side of Steve's throat and breathe him in. The angle was all wrong, but if he didn't do it right then, he felt like he might scream. Or howl. He was only dimly aware that he was shaking. After a few seconds of this—whatever it was, he sighed and huffed a small laugh. "You sound like Sam. Who I never got around to talking to like I meant to. Or thought about at least. No one can change what's done once it's been done. And even if we could, I'm sure there'd be some kind of insane consequences. Ugh, whatever. I'll get over it. Heh, I've been through worse. And so have you. And most of your friends. You might attract a certain type, Steve."
As Derek moved in closer, Steve's arms tightened around him. They didn't relent, so once Derek was pressed against his side, the Wolf wasn't going anywhere. Steve chuckled softly at the comment. So he had just turned into Sam. "I know that Sam would love to get to know you. And his counseling services are the best I've ever known. I support you going to speak with him one hundred percent."
Another chuckle escaped him, and Steve turned to press a kiss against... well, whatever part of Derek's face he could reach from this angle. Temple? Eyebrow? Cheekbone? "I guess maybe I do. I'm glad I attracted you."
It was a wonder that Derek was able to laugh at all, but he did, quietly. "I'll try to keep him out of our relationship as much as I can, unless we're going in together for a couple's session. Is it way too Pollyanna to hope we never get to that point? God, what have you turned me into?" Another laugh, this one harder, but ending with a hum at the soft kiss against the top of his forehead. "'M glad too. Am I keeping you from your day? I should probably see if I'm overdue for any of my shifts."
Steve smirked softly. "Couples therapy? I think we've got a long way before that becomes a possibility. I think technically we're still in the honeymoon phase." How long did that phase last?, Steve wondered. He liked the sound of Derek's laugh. Then he shook his head a little, finally loosening his arms from around his boyfriend.
"You need to take the day. Get your head on straight. I'm sure no one will expect you to come in after you've been magicked against your will." Steve would have a severe talking-to with whoever insisted that Derek go in for a shift after he'd been attacked.
"Let's stay in that phase forever. We'll be that gross couple. Except… I kind of promised Dylan that we wouldn't be. Not publicly at least." Derek felt like he was in real danger of bringing up old wounds that weren't really all that old. Or they weren't old enough yet. He leaned back just far enough to give his boyfriend an apologetic smile that turned into another laugh.
"Careful there, sweetheart. You sound dangerously close to pulling out your Cap-voice. You're probably right, though. It'd be kind of dumb for me to try much today. Did anyone talk to her?" Why couldn't he just leave it alone? "To the girl from the portal. I'm assuming since we're not really living out Sleeping Beauty that she didn't get to the rest of the Facility?"
Steve paused for a moment. He knew that things didn’t end the best between Dylan and Derek, but he hadn’t done a lot of prying into it. Honestly, he’d probably been a little self-centered, a little selfish. He couldn’t believe his luck that this man was his. (Even before he was.) And now he wished that he’d been more observant, been more open, been more inquisitive. Derek was obviously hurt over it. Why couldn’t Steve have been… better? “Not publicly, then,” Steve responded quietly. “I promise.”
“Someone talked to her. She posted to the network about you and Ivy.” Steve swallowed. “I think she was startled. The other magic users found and connected with her. It’s okay.” He wanted to make sure that Derek knew it was okay.
Derek nodded slowly, a little distracted by the subtle note of something in his boyfriend's scent. It made the less-than-rational part of him want to curl up in Steve's lap and do everything in his power to make that "something" go away. Wisely, he simply sat where he was, close, but not overcrowding. What was important here was two things: the goth girl calmed down and didn't actually cause any lasting harm; and Derek really did physically feel better than he had in a long while. "I don't suppose you're not working today as well, right? A guy can't be that lucky."
Steve probably wouldn’t mind a little crowding. He’d been beside himself with worry when he’d found out that Derek had been attacked. He was starting to hate that his Wolf was so often put in danger in the line of duty… but there was also a sense of pride that Derek was both willing and able to be that security for the whole community. Steve was torn. He broke into a little smirk at Derek’s question. “I have a few hours before I have somewhere to be.” He’d cleared his schedule so he could be by Derek’s side. “Just… let’s make sure you take it easy.”
"I said I was lucky, not getting lucky." Derek rolled his eyes, but laughed. Despite his newfound energy, it was easy enough to lay back down with his boyfriend by his side. "You know when you have to go I'm probably going to go for a run, right? Or maybe go hiking for a while. I need to do something to burn this energy off, and someone here has to be the responsible one—and right now I don't think that's me. But I swear I'll check in, and I'll bring plenty of water, and I'll head back the instant anything feels remotely off. It's so weird. I'm still pissed that it happened, but oddly grateful? Ugh, feelings are stupid."
Steve went bright pink at that. He shook his head. “That’s not what I--” but then Derek was laughing. Steve shook his head, chuckling softly to himself. “Right. Right, I know. You just… you really need to take it easy. You’ve just been through a magical trauma, and… I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’ll stop worrying. I’ll try.” He nodded. “Feelings are stupid. Well, except for these feelings,” Steve took hold of Derek’s hand and laced their fingers together. “All the rest can go to hell.”
The word trauma stirred up a whole host of unwelcome feelings—speaking of—but the easy way Steve knit their fingers together made them scatter again, until all he could do was let out a quiet, breathy, and utterly besotted, "Yeah." Derek was in so deep it was frankly silly. He bit his lip, leaned in and settled his head against Steve's shoulder. "I'll take it easy, I promise. Just… my version of easy."
Steve turned and pressed a kiss against Derek’s forehead. “Your version of easy is fine, so long as it’s easy. And you keep your phone. And you message me.” He leaned in close against his boyfriend. “And forgive me for being clingy.”
Derek chuckled, feeling soft and warm and not even a little annoyed. "Sir, yes, sir."