Tim Wayne (theteenwonder) wrote in momadness_log, @ 2023-04-11 12:55:00 |
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Entry tags: | ~inactive: poe dameron, ~inactive: tim drake |
Who:Tim and Poe
What:Some hurt/comfort
Where:Portal room
When:April 6th, sometime early in the AM.
Warnings:None. Just some mentions of grief
Status:complete
Tim had lost track of time. He’d meant to come home, but he hadn’t. Nor had he gone to Dick’s, or anywhere else it seemed. There was no word anywhere about Tim’s whereabouts. Only a ghost of a whisper of Red Robin/ A man dressed in black and red leather who decided to string up several people during the night from light posts, and one from a skyscraper. The evening had come and gone. No Tim.
The one good thing about New York was that it was chalk full of crime. Eerily similar to Gotham. Tim had so many to choose from that he made an illogical choice and just kept plowing through drug busts and robbers. Not being as kind or soft as he might have chosen to be before his friends vanished.
The bad thing about this city was those fucking portals. Tim couldn’t get it out of his head that the portal that brought them all there might be connected to these portals somehow. That only meant one place for him to be, the labs where it all started. Where he swore swore he’d never go back to. The minute he stepped inside, he could feel fear. So deep he could practically taste it. The ghosts of that room were not lost on him. He could see Tony’s hand disappearing behind the portal, he could see things flying past him and getting dragged in along with him. Tim had been there when it happened. It was a memory he thought he’d long suppressed.
*
Poe knew that Tim needed some space to process his feelings with the red portals taking away several of his friends. The fact that his boss was among the more recent victims had bothered Poe as well and he knew everyone was frustrated by the whole thing. It was somehow even worse than the portal that brought them all here.
However, when it got to be the middle of the night and he hadn’t seen or heard from his… boyfriend?... they hadn’t really discussed labels, so Poe wasn’t sure exactly how to refer to Tim, he got worried and asked P.O.N.G. to run a trace and find the younger man. It didn’t take long to track him to the labs at the facility and Poe wasted no time in heading over there.
When he arrived, he entered the labs quietly, not wanting to startle Tim, but also not wanting to give him the chance to ignore Poe’s presence. “Tim…” he said, keeping his voice low. “You okay?”
*
By the time Poe had arrived, Tim was standing in front of that portal. A hand reached out to grab at the equipment he’d created at the top. As the other man stepped into the room Tony's voice cut through the air, so loud and clear he might as well have been in the room. "Tim, I know you're pissed, but knock it off. That's millions of dollars of equipment you're breaking there, and you might be good for it with that crazy bank account of yours, but it's the principle of the thing." A beat of ringing silence, then, much more quietly, "You know what happened the last time I messed with the portal. And now you're messing with it, too. What are you gonna do if it decides to mess back, huh?" The words stuttered and cracked. "I can't—I can't lose you."
That voice caused him to pause as it filled his ears, and the space around them with a painful weight that felt so heavy he was forced to lower his hand, and climb off the portal itself.
He’d heard Poe coming, in spite of the sudden onslaught of words from the man he considered something of a father figure and shook his head. “...No.” When he landed on that floor, it was silent. No sounds of heavy footsteps. No nothing. He’d been trained to be light on his feet. Like the wind itself.
“I’m tired.” He looked up at Poe with eyes that were reddening from the strain of hiding emotion behind them. “I’m fucking tired of this portal taking everything from me! I’m fucking tired of losing people.” He did give it a swift kick which only hurt him more than the portal itself. But he didn’t actually flinch.
*
Hearing the tone in Tim’s voice had Poe moving across the room to him even before he kicked at the portal. Despite him not flinching, Poe knew that had to hurt and he reached out to pull Tim into his arms. “I know,” he said, his tone soft and patient. “I know. Losing people never gets easier.” He’d lost more than his fair share through the years and was well acquainted with the anger that accompanied loss.
“You still have me,” he said. And, no, he couldn’t promise that a portal wouldn’t take him away at some point, but right now he was here and didn’t want Tim to go through this alone.
*
There were reasons he had a hard time making friends, he was afraid of losing them. Even before this place he had a deep seated history of losing people he loved. This portal event had only brought that whiplash to the surface. The urge to run and push everyone away was strong, but he wasn’t sixteen anymore. “It could take you too.” It took every ounce of will he had not to push away. That was how he dealt with pain typically, pushed away and fought anything that came his way.
Tim was stiff to the touch, that rage had become like ice water in his veins as he pressed his face against the other’s chest and let his eyes close. “Everyone I love gets hurt or dies.” He’d approached Death recently, thinking there was something wrong with him. “I don’t want to get you killed or worse.”
*
“I know it could,” Poe admitted. “But I’m here right now.” He kept his arms around the younger man, even though they were loose enough that if Tim really wanted to step away from the embrace, he easily could. “And nothing is going to happen to me because I’m with you.” That part he felt far more confident about. He was more than capable of taking care of himself and had survived plenty thus far.
He rubbed slow circles on Tim’s back, wanting to do what he could to offer comfort.
*
“How do you know you won’t? I can count more dead friends than I can alive ones.” He wasn’t lying or exaggerating either. Tim wasn’t the sort. “It’s been a long time since I cared about anyone.” He looked up at him, searching his face for some kind of reassurance he wasn’t aware he needed. His thought process was still pretty young at heart when it came to things like death. He’d lost so much at such a young age, it was impossible to him to really grasp how that worked.
“I said I’d never come back down to this place.” He looked over his shoulder at the glowing monstrosity behind them.
*
Poe didn’t move away, wanting to give the physical reassurance that he was there for Tim. “I’ve survived a lot,” he said. “That’s how I know.” There were plenty of times in the past he easily could have, and probably should have, died and he was still here. New York was far safer than anywhere in his own galaxy, so it stood to reason that Poe was safe here.
“Why did you?” he asked, unsure of what Tim’s thought process was in coming here.”Do you want to talk about it?” If not, then Poe would figure out other ways to distract him from what was upsetting him.
*
“I hope you can. I kind of like you in one piece.” A hint of a laugh that had been absent for the last few days finally cut through the veil of anger. Poe just being that solid presence was helping more than he knew. Tim needed something to grab onto. His hand rested on the other mans arm as he shook his head for the next question.
“Later?” For now there was something else he needed. He needed something a bit more physical to be grounded with. He leaned up to kiss him instead of doing anything else. The distraction was very much needed. He couldn’t talk about it in that room, but to get moving away from it he needed to be warmed up a bit more.
*
“Whenever you’re ready,” Poe said, more than happy to return the kiss and keep Tim close. The younger man had really wormed his way into Poe’s heart when he wasn’t paying attention, something he was not going to complain about. “Why don’t we go home,” he suggested. “We can make some hot chocolate and curl up on the sofa.”
*
“Maybe spike it with something?” After his stint at the club he only drank on occasion. But now seemed like a solid occasion for it. His hand reached for the others. That “flight” response seeming to have melted away for the time being. He went through waves of that being a thing he needed occasionally. But for now he was fine with this as an end result. He looked down at their hands for a moment and used his clearance to lock the door behind them to that portal.
“...There;s something else too.” He had also been wondering what to call him. He just didn’t know how to ask it without being awkward as hell.
*
Alcohol wasn’t something that Poe considered necessary, but he did generally keep a six pack or two of beer in the fridge and he had a few bottles of various liquors that he’d either been gifted or curious to try. “Sure, I probably have something that would go well in chocolate,” he said. Tim would probably be able to guess better than he could at that.
As they headed out of the portal room, he looked over at Tim. “What’s up?” he asked.
*
He was somewhat relieved Tony hadn’t stripped him of those credentials when he did quit…he had a hard enough time figuring out who he was without working in the portal room. Tim looked back as they left it, making sure it shut behind them-and it did. V He did have a random thought of wondering what happened to the Dinosaur that he and Miles had once saved, but shrugged it off for the time being.
“What do I call you?...I mean..if people ask. Nico asked. I had no idea what to say.”
*
Poe was initially confused by the question. Why wouldn’t Tim or anyone else call him by his name? Then he realized what the younger man was actually asking. “Oh. Uh.” He scratched the back of his neck as he shrugged. “I don’t know? I mean… I haven’t really done the relationship thing in a long time and… I have no idea what’s appropriate on this planet.” He looked over helplessly at Tim. “What do you want to call me?”
*
“Would you be against it?..The relationship I mean. I know what this start out as..so…if you say no it’s okay…but..” He could instantly feel any moisture he had in his body just leaving as he tried to speak words like this once again when he swore them off after the Peter Disaster. “ I care about you. I don’t think it would be a bad idea to figure out some kind of appropriate term.” He was trying not to fidget, but was likely failing.
*
This entire conversation was confusing Poe. “Tim, I asked you to move in with me,” he said. “I kind of assumed that made the relationship thing obvious.” It wasn’t like he’d been seeing anyone else for the past six months and he thought that Tim knew that. He stopped walking and turned to face Tim, leaning in to kiss him briefly. “We can use whatever terms you want.”
*
“Oh.” Tim actually laughed at his own stupidity and turned a fun shade of crimson. “I am obviously not great at ques.” He ran a free hand through his short hair as he shook his head. “Forget it..I’m just…it’s a weird day.” Very weird in his head just then there was no denying that. Nico gone had really just fucked with his head in more ways “I’m just all over the place.” Then Poe kissed him and he grinned, returning it. He knew Poe hadn’t been seeing other people, that he wasn’t worried about. He trusted him in that regard even without words. “Boyfriend then?”
*
“Neither am I, clearly,” Poe said with a chuckle. “Boyfriend works. I’m sorry if you’ve been stressing about this.” He felt bad that they hadn’t actually had this conversation before now that they were having it and he realized it was kind of important. At least now they were definitely on the same page.
*
“I never was known for my social ability.” He smirked as he tangled their fingers together. “Sorry.” Tim just laughed a bit. “Maybe we can order something too? I kinda forgot about the eating part.” One of them would have to learn how to cook at some point, the amount of takeout was getting dull. But tonight wasn’t the night for that, he just wanted to curl up in bed with him and be done with the day.