Who: Jace Herondale and Alec Lightwood Where: Threshold When: October 4, 2019 What: Jace owes Alec some information about their world's future and about himself Rating/Warnings: SFW Status: Complete
"I'm sleeping with Simon."
Jace hadn't intended to start the conversation there. He'd had plans to talk about everything else first, get a few drinks in his parabatai, and then broach the subject at the end of the night. But then he'd started to wonder whether Alec would need to get home before they got to it, had begun to look forward to the possibility, and he realized that taking the coward's way was more and more possible the longer he put it off. It was bad enough that he hadn't confessed anything about the time loop yet, and Simon had known for weeks now.
So he'd waited until they were settled in the corner booth with their drinks before launching straight into it. The thumping music was a bit duller here, and he wondered if there was some sort of spell on the seating that allowed for better conversation. He'd have to remember to ask Eliot next time he was flirting for his drink….
Jace was very fortunate that Alec hadn’t started drinking or he might have spit in his face.
“What???”
That is not what Alec had been prepared to hear. From that tense, Jace meant he was sleeping with Simon now, while they were here. Alec didn’t really know how to feel about this. He wasn’t jealous: he was more than happy with how things turned out. Alec was with Magnus and loved him instead of misplaced pining for his brother by bond. But why Simon of all people?
“Why do you keep picking people who annoy me?” Alec sighed with part irony and part frustration and lifted his glass to take a drink. And that only further reminded him to ask… “He’s not drinking your blood, is he?” Not that it being an addiction thing would make this make any more sense. “When did this happen?”
"Everyone annoys you," Jace said lightly, though it was an effort to keep tension from his frame. He knew how Alec had felt about Clary and Simon when they entered the shadow world, and the negative parts of those feelings had been even stronger where this Alec was from. He'd expected this sort of reaction, but he still hated explaining himself to anyone—even his brother.
"He has drunk my blood. More than once. But that's not what this is about." Trying to hide that part would only make Alec more suspicious, and Jace knew the question came from a place of experience and concern. He laughed shortly. "That's complicated. The easy answer is: a couple of weeks ago."
“Most of the time you don’t even tell me who you’re sleeping with: so then I have no opinion about them,” Alec clarified. He knew that if Jace was telling him about Simon then it had to be more than just hooking up. It meant there were feelings involved. Despite that, he didn’t care, Alec was still asking if there was blood drinking because Simon was still a vampire.
The laugh was a surprise, and Alec gave Jace a questioning look. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to know the complicated answer, but after his scathing reaction, Alec did need to try to be supportive as well. “So it’s been a couple of weeks. What’s the complicated answer?”
"Not people I sleep with. People in general," Jace said with a laugh and a little shake of his head. He loved his brother-in-arms, but he was well known for his brash manner and cantankerous attitude. He took a long drink of his beer before getting into the rest, because he knew it would only lead into even more. "I got stuck in a time loop. Back in July. It happened then, too, but...well, he knows, but he doesn't remember it."
Alec rolled his eyes at the accusation again, but there was truth in it so he said nothing more about it. He took another drink to prepare for the explanation, which was more brief than he expected. “Since July?” Alec frowned because Jace was only telling him about this now. “Despite your lack of detail, I’m guessing that’s why you’ve been in a bad mood,” he commented since Simon hadn’t remembered the time loop as Jace said.
Jace shrugged. It was true that he was in a far better mood since talking things out with Simon, so he couldn't exactly deny that he'd been pretty grumpy himself. "Not only that. But it didn't help." He cupped his hands around his glass and looked down into the beer, not because he was trying to avoid the other's eyes, but because it was easier to clear his mind and figure out what to say that way. He'd attempted to plot out his conversation points before, but that wasn't really his style, as he'd already shown. "Things are different back home, in my time. And I don't only mean that you got married and moved to Alicante." He blew out a breath, because this didn't get easier despite telling this same tale multiple times recently. "Clary's gone, Alec. Not dead, but—"
He sighed and then launched into the whole story, everything from Clary's usage of her special runes to help them, to save everyone, all the way to her punishment and disappearance the night of Magnus and Alec's wedding. He left out the fact that he'd been keeping tabs on her, because Simon was the only one who knew about that. And besides, what was the point now? "It's been a year, for me. Since she disappeared, since you were...well, not gone, but you know. Busy." He didn't mean for that last word to come out as sad as it had.
When Jace really got into it, explaining what had been bothering him and what Alec didn’t know about, he stayed quiet so he could just listen. He didn’t need to be from Jace’s point in time to know that Clary sacrificing everything for them and being punished for it was unfair. He knew that Clary was important to Jace, and to lose her wouldn’t have been easy.
And even if he hadn’t been the Alec yet who married and moved to Alicante, he still felt guilty. “I’m sorry.” Even if he didn’t need to say it, it felt like someone should say it to Jace. He reached forward to give Jace’s hands a squeeze. “Jace, I know that I can’t change what happened for you, but I do know myself well enough that I’m always here for you. No matter where I am. And since we’re here and not there… I’ve got your back and you can tell me anything. And honestly, I really don’t give a shit about who you sleep with. And if Simon is going to make you happy, then that’s really all that matters.”
Jace expected to be able to breeze past it all without much of an emotional response, but when Alec reached for his hand, he had to stay silent and just squeeze back for a few minutes until he'd gotten past the danger of tearing up. "I know you do. You do in my time, too. It's just...different. And Simon, he—" He swallowed, took a moment to get his words together again. "Everyone was sad about Clary, but Simon understands it's more than that. It was never this in our world, but we're not the same people you remember." He laughed a little, and it helped alleviate a bit more of that tension. "Well, okay, this Simon is. But you know what I mean."
That much Alec could understand. If Clary was gone from the Shadow World, the one person who could empathize with Jace would be Simon. He pulled his hand back to let Jace keep it all together. And if Jace and Simon were closer in Jace’s time, then the two of them getting together now wouldn’t be so far-fetched. At Jace’s laugh though, Alec shook his head and laughed a bit at his own thoughts. “I think I get it. It also seems like that eventually I will do more than just tolerate Simon,” he was willing to admit and lifted his glass for another drink. “But still, I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with all of this alone. We’re all here together now from our world so we need to stick together. Even Simon.”
With those hard parts out, Jace was able to relax back into his seat with his drink. "I'm pretty sure he genuinely thinks you hate him. Of course, he also thought I hated him, but he was a lot more wrong on that one." He smirked. He was still enjoying getting to subvert Simon's expectations, even if he assumed eventually the man would figure him out a bit better. He dragged his thoughts away from that, though, because tonight he was spending with his parabatai. "It is nice getting to see you more. Even if I hate the lack of patrols. Of any job other than occasionally doing security work around here."
“Not all the time. Only sometimes. Like when he gets in the way,” Alec said about hating Simon. And honestly, there hadn’t been any reason to hate Simon lately. And now, Alec would have to do better. He took a drink too and relaxed too at the change of conversation. “It is nice. I really missed you when I first got here,” Alec said not for the first time. He smirked at the mention of patrols. “That’s why I joined security here, but it’s not the same thing. I shouldn’t admit it but I miss hunting demons,” he admitted.
"He is really good at that," Jace agreed, but he couldn't keep the smile from his face as he said it. He wondered if there was a time when the annoying qualities that had become attractive would flip back the other direction again, or if he was now stuck. "I don't see how you stand it when the most interesting thing that ever happens is new people coming through the portal. At least I get the occasional drunken brawl. It's a good thing there's a decent gym, or I'd be really worry about losing my edge. Speaking of which—you owe me a sparring session. It's been weeks."
Alec saw that smile on Jace’s face, and he shook his head as he took another drink. He wondered if that was the look on his face when he was thinking about Magnus. “I stand it because it’s work. Unlike you, I was never wary of some administrative work. And it gives me a more reliable schedule for taking care of Madzie,” he pointed out. But Jace was right: processing new people was the more thrilling part of the job. Alec still trained though especially if Clint ever needed him for any missions like they’d talked about before. He smirked at Jace’s suggestion. “I do. We really shouldn’t let it go that long.”
"I don't miss the paperwork," Jace said, acknowledging his brother's point. That wasn't the only reason he wasn't cut out for the lofty things his grandmother had wanted for him, but it was one of the big ones. "Tomorrow morning? I swear I won't feed you enough alcohol to put you at a disadvantage," he joked, leaning forward to push Alec's drink closer to him as if forcing him to drink up.
When he sat back again, he was quiet for a second before he said, "That's different here, you know. Madzie. She lives with Catarina in my time, and Catarina is great, but...you and Magnus are better."
“What’s to miss when you rarely do it?” Alec called Jace out and smirked as he did so. There was a contradiction of messages of Jace not planning on getting him drunk, and sliding his glass closer to him. “Tomorrow morning is fine with me,” and he took a drink as if to prove he could handle it.
It probably shouldn’t have surprised Alec that Madzie wasn’t with them, as their little family had formed more out of necessity in this world. Still, it made Alec sad to think of someone else parenting Madzie. “Thanks,” Alec smirked about them being better. “When Magnus and I got here, we’d only been dating for a month. And then almost right away we were moving in together and had a child to take care of. And now, I can’t think of being without Madzie.”
Jace laughed. "When it comes to you two, that timeline doesn't actually sound so crazy. I'm kind of surprised you don't have a ring in your pocket already." His expression sobered a little as he remembered their brief net discussion after Alec's disturbing vision of his future. "Is Magnus okay?" He knew what happened in those months before he'd arrived, but it had sounded like there was more to it than that. "You said he wasn't the same. What did you mean?" He hated to change the subject from happy things to this, but he'd prepared himself to get it all out tonight so neither of them had to wonder anymore.
Alec laughed too because that confirmation from Jace didn’t really surprise him. After a month of actually dating, Alec realized he loved Magnus, and he felt the same for him. Alec had feelings for Magnus long before that, but the last month in their world had really escalated things. “It’s not like I haven’t thought about it. Especially after Magnus came back.”
So of course that led to Jace’s question. Alec frowned as he thought about what Magnus had been suffering through. “I mean… there’s a lot. When he came back from Thedas, he was blind and seriously injured. He needed to recover in the infirmary before I could even take him home.” Alec had never seen Magnus in that condition before, and he hated that there had been nothing he could have done to prevent it.
“For Magnus, he was gone for 45 years in a strange world. He had a different life there with new friends. And new magic,” Alec explained, trying to keep this more simple than dwelling on even harder details. “He needed it to help fight demons, but he’s been experiencing the side effects now. Magnus has these nightmares about demons, and even when he’s awake he still has these headaches. When we first went to investigate the loft, and found demons there, Magnus’s usual magic didn’t consistently work either.”
Jace listened in silence as Alec explained. Some of it he'd heard before, but there was more context this time, and he could feel the steady thrum of Alec through their parabatai bond. His brother was physically fine, but there was no doubting his worry ran deep. "What was so different about these other demons that it's affecting him like this?" Magnus was half demon himself, had hundreds of years experience around them, so it seemed strange to Jace that something as simple as some new spells could faze him. "Or is it this other magic?"
“I think it’s the other magic,” Alec replied. He really only knew what Magnus told him, and realistically there could be more that his boyfriend left out. Also, Alec wasn’t there to see this or experience it for himself. “This other magic, he had to drink demon blood to get it. He can sense and track demons now because of it,” Alec clarified first of all. “But there are consequences: eventually, he can go mad, especially if he's around demons because he can’t turn that sense off. And it makes him vulnerable to possession as well.”
"Go mad?" Jace's face creased in concern and confusion, because he couldn't imagine a world where such a power would be worth such a consequence. He tracked demons just fine through Shadowhunter means, and warlocks had their own techniques for it, too. If Magnus had done this ritual— His frown deepened. "It sounds like a perverted version of drinking from the Mortal Cup, and you know what the cup supposedly can do to a person." He took a drink to give himself a moment to think before adding, "His nightmares and headaches are related to that ability? What is he sensing here? I didn't think there were any demons."
Alec nodded at Jace’s confusion. He didn’t like it much either, but this had been a decision Magnus had to make. “I can only guess that the demons in Thedas couldn’t be tracked with Magnus’s own magic. But the similarity to the Cup didn’t escape my notice.” He took a drink too as a moment to think things over now that he had someone outside of Magnus to really talk about this. “There were demons in the loft but we killed them. At first I thought maybe there was something just… lingering and it would get better. I’m not sure if it has. Magnus would rather deal with it on his own than let me worry.” Who knew how many times Magnus was likely waking up and just letting him keep sleeping. “We’re supposed to be going on a trip. I’m hoping that will help.”
Jace nodded, though he was still frowning. If Magnus didn't want help, he had who knew how many hundreds of years of practice keeping his business to himself. But he also knew how keeping secrets had nearly torn Magnus and Alec apart in their world, and he didn't want anything like that for this Alec if he could avoid it. "I don't know if I can help, but you know I would if I could. And we're not the only ones with abilities here." And he left it at that, because it wasn't really his place to try to push for the warlock to see a doctor for problems he only barely grasped. "What kind of trip? Do you need me to watch Madzie?"
“You know you’re the first I’ll ask if we need help,” Alec assured Jace. Having his parabatai here made all the difference, and Alec knew that Jace would always have his back. For now, Alec was trusting that Magnus could self medicate with his potions, but he didn’t know how long that was going to last either. When Jace asked about Madzie, Alec shook his head. “No, thanks for the offer. We’re taking Madzie with us. We’re going to Disney as per Magnus’s suggestion.”
Jace burst out laughing. "Oh, that trip. I'd forgotten you were talking about that." He tried to stifle his laugh, but it was difficult, because he couldn't stop imagining Alec standing in a crowded amusement park without being able to use his runes to disappear. "I can picture it, but I'm not sure you can. Have you told Madzie yet?" He wasn't sure if the little girl even had any concept of what Disney World was yet, but if she did, Alec and Magnus were in trouble.
And there it was: Alec didn’t think it likely for Jace to forget that completely. “I really don’t know what we’re in for, I fully admit it,” he agreed. There were just so many mundane things that Alec still didn’t know yet. “We’ve been watching movies to prep me. At least Madzie likes them.” He took another drink and shook his head. “Not yet. When Magnus feels well enough and the plans are arranged.”
"If you think getting away will help him, then why wait?" As amused as he was by the whole idea, Jace couldn't forget that this had come from their discussion about the warlock's trouble. "If nothing else, sleeping somewhere different might break the pattern." He knew a little something about bad dreams after trauma, but those were stories about the future that they could delve into later. "Simon makes me watch movies, too." That was back home, but he figured it was only a matter of time before it started here. "Mostly superheroes and things about elves. If there's a theme park for that, I wouldn't be surprised if a trip is in my future."
“You know me. I’m a planner,” Alec said as to why they were waiting. “And Madzie is excited to have Alya back, so we can’t take her away yet,” he added. He did nope that breaking the pattern could work, even just a change of scenery. “Considering that we live in a compound crawling, even sometimes literally, with superheroes, I think you’re off the hook for that one.”
Jace gave his parabatai a level look. "Do you really think being surrounded by superheroes makes him any less into all that? Really? He got sucked into the shadow world and that didn't stop anything, so I really doubt this will." And he didn't actually want that, but saying that aloud would sound far too sappy and sentimental. He wasn't going to subject Alec to that, even if the words wanted to come out anyway. "Besides, an amusement park is an amusement park." Come to think of it, he didn't even know if Simon liked. He'd have to ask.
Alec only had to consider what Jace was saying and he nodded in agreement. “You’re right. Simon’s not going to change.” And from the sounds of it, Jace didn’t want him to change. And Alec couldn’t help but chuckle at that too as he took another drink.
Jace reached for his drink but had to stop before the beer hit his lips as another thought made him laugh hard enough that he would have sprayed Alec if he hadn't caught himself first. "I don't know who would be more terrified if I suggested a double date—you or him." He laughed again, shorter this time, before daring to actually take that drink. His glass was almost empty. "I'm not suggesting it, but it's going to practically be that anyway the next time we all gather for drinks. Except with Madzie, obviously." Which always kept anything from getting too out of hand.
At the suggestion, Alec gave Jace a warning look. “I wouldn’t be terrified.” He might not like the suggestion, but he wouldn’t be scared by it. If anything, Alec just assumed that it would be inevitable at this point. He still had to go back and tell all of this to Magnus too… “Besides, you know Magnus would never say no to it anyway. Or Madzie. She likes Simon.”
"Quaking in your boots," Jace disagreed, mostly because it amused him. In reality, he didn't want to subject either of them to an interaction that might make them uncomfortable, but it was easier to think of it as funny than to consider that they might never really get along. Alec moving to Alicante meant that he hadn't had the same extended time with Simon back in their world, so Jace didn't have a basis for comparison. "I would make a joke about them being on the same level or having the same sense of humor, but it's really not funny if he's not here to see his face." And he wasn't that kind of mean. "But we should do it whenever you guys get done with your Disney thing. Dinner, drinks, etc."
Even if Jace wasn’t making a joke, Alec still smirked and chuckled anyway at the idea of it. But he agreed: if they were going to make remarks about Simon, it was better for him to be there to face it. “Yes, alright. We can do it in the loft. It’ll give Magnus an excuse for a party,” Alec did agree.
If nothing else was, the fact that Magnus hadn't really thrown any true parties was probably a sign that something was going on with him. Jace would have chalked it up to the differing social circles, but now that he could see it, he couldn't unsee it. It brought up uncomfortable thoughts about what extended years of trauma could do to a person like Magnus (like Simon), which was one Shadowhunters rarely dealt with—they just died young instead. "It'll be just like old times, except hopefully no one will be trying to curse, kill, or otherwise maim us."
“Right? Hopefully it won’t be boring,” Alec actually laughed at that. But all their old worries were just replaced with what the portal could do to them. “We can invite some of our new friends here too. Except for you, Simon and the Fitzsimmons, we haven’t even had anyone to the loft. And the latter was really only to drop off and pick up Alya.”
Jace laughed, too, because he was well aware how their desire for a little more fighting action than what this world gave them was a little odd. Maybe more than a little. "If we're bringing plus twos and threes, then I know a few people, too," Jace said with a nod. He finished off his drink. "If you're ready for another, let's head back to the bar. I think a couple of shots of celebration are in order." Because he'd confessed things, and the world hadn't ended. Based on their prior luck, that was actually impressive.
Alec finished off his drink too and nodded at the suggestion. “One thing that I’ve done in this world: I’ve become a better drinker. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not,” he laughed before standing up with Jace to head to the bar.