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Derek Hale (allhalethealpha) wrote in momadness_log, @ 2021-11-07 17:59:00

Who: Steve and Derek
What: Weekend away, and Derek’s birthday
When: 11/5-11/7
Where: A Hotel in the City
Warning: Mentions of sex, but mostly PG-13, Here There Be Feelings
Status: Completed via gdoc

Last night, Steve and Derek had gone out to a nice dinner. They took a long walk, then a carriage ride through Central Park. It was one of those stupid, ridiculous, romantic things that Steve saw in movies, but didn’t realize were actually a thing that happened in real life. Then they went back to the hotel room for some alone time. Sometimes their intimacy was frantic and rough, pulling and grunting and thrusting and gripping so hard it practically left bruises. Other times it was love-making: they were soft and gentle, and it lasted for hours; cuddling and kissing and whispering sweet nothings and all of that. Last night was the latter. They’d spent the entire night in each other’s arms, making the love they felt for one another physical. A good start to Derek’s birthday weekend, right?

Steve had passed out in his boyfriend’s arms. It’d been a very long day, and a very satisfying night. He slipped into dreams easily, feeling safe, warm, and loved.

The bed moved under him. Steve stirred, roused from sleep. He lifted his head--bed hair flopping down across his forehead--and opened bleary eyes. Derek had climbed out, and Steve felt his side of the bed growing cold. “Der?” He asked, lifting a hand to rub at his face. “What time is it?”

"It's early, babe." Derek's voice was a low, sleep-rough rumble, but there was a smile behind it. Even thought he'd just gotten up, he couldn't resist how soft Steve looked, so he compromised with his original getting-up intentions by sinking back down on to the other side of the bed where there was just enough of a sliver to be able to sit. That way he wouldn't be tempted to lie back down, which was always a risk in the morning.

He settled his arm on the other side of Steve's ribs and smiled gently down on him. Derek felt a familiar urge to get his fingers in that golden hair, but didn't act on it. Instead, he leaned in and nuzzled his cheek lightly while he murmured, "You can sleep in. I'll get breakfast ready. How do you feel about having it in bed after I get everyone off to school?"

“Mmmm,” Steve responded. It was, indeed, early. He turned his eyes to the clock on the nightstand, but decided that he was too sleepy to read the time. And then Derek climbed back onto the bed with him, and Steve turned to curl against his lover. Steve’s arms wrapped up and around Derek’s body, hoping to pull him down against his body.

“Mmm,” he repeated, breaking into a sleepy grin. “I feel good about it, actually,” he teased. “But it feels like you’re doing all the work here.” He leaned up and in for a kiss, stealing Derek’s lips with his own.

And then something occurred to him, and Steve’s eyes opened a little wider, suddenly slightly more awake. “Don’t forget the girls’ field trip forms. They’re on the fridge.”

This was almost enough to make Derek let the kids fend for themselves, but not quite. He kissed Steve right back, morning breath and all, which was much a sign of love as everything else in their lives, and then retaliated by rubbing his now-salt and pepper stubble against his husband's chin. "I set three reminders on my phone, sweetheart. We're not having a repeat of the Natural History Museum debacle from first grade."

His hand had drifted down to Steve's hip, which he squeezed lightly as his smile turned soft again. "But you know I don't mind doing this. Especially not with Court here for the holidays. Besides, I kind of owe her for babysitting all last weekend while we ported to Tuscany for our anniversary." Derek chuckled. "Thank god for genius billionaire Tony Stark and his constant need to push the advancement of science and technology."

Funny how even after so many years, they were still crazy about one another. Funny how they were still handsy, still insatiable, still just as passionate as they were when they first started dating. Steve felt like he was more in love with Derek now than he'd ever been before. He fell farther in love every day.

"Good. I think the PTA is still gossiping about that," Steve gave a little chuckle. Two years. How had that been two years ago? He brought one hand around to rest against Derek's cheek holding his Wolf against him for a brief kiss. "Mmm. We definitely owe her. Maybe we can buy her a car to pay her back for all the help we've gotten with the kids over the years." Steve couldn’t imagine what the world would be like without Tony Stark.

The tips of Derek's ears went pink at the memory of getting caught making out in the Hall of Advanced Mammals after dropping Sarah and Laura off along with their permission slips and then deciding to do some walking around of their own. He could laugh about it now, but he was still trying to make it up to the PTA two years later by heading up their annual bake sale (which somehow became a topless affair, because the organization was some kind of mob front, Derek was convinced).

"At this point, it would be an act of mercy for that old clunker she's had since she was sixteen. I wouldn't mind not having to stick my head in that engine ever again. C'mon, babe, I gotta get the kids fed and on their way. Laura's already arguing with Sarah about that pink sweater with the flowers, and I'd rather avoid World War III, if I can help it." Yet for all that, he still kissed Steve again for good measure, and then again on his cheeks and forehead, because he would never, ever be able to get enough of this man. "Love you. Back soon."

God, Steve loved it when Derek's ears went pink. Even after all this time. He was remembering getting caught making out in the museum, too, though he wasn't as abashed as Derek was. Being with his Wolf changed his mind about everything: about sex, and love, and family, and life, really. Funny how they'd sort of swapped roles when they brought the girls home.

"Go go," Steve teased. "I hate it when you go, but I love watching you leave." He returned the kiss, then flopped back against the bed. "Love you. I'll be right here." With a happy sigh, he closed his eyes and snuggled in against the pillows, breathing in his husband's scent.

Derek made especially sure that Steve had a clear view of his ass as he laughed and walked toward the door. Right before opening it, he paused and cocked his head. "You've got about five seconds before Isaac comes in for a flying tackle, so I'll just leave the door open for him. You know it's always worse when he encounters a barrier." He blew Steve a kiss over his shoulder as he left. "Love you. Be back soon. Send Isaac down when the snuggle session is over."

Steve nodded, taking another deep breath in preparation. Derek had been right; it was only about five seconds before the five year old affectionately referred to as the living cannon ball came flying into the room and landed smack dab on his father's stomach. Steve felt the wind knocked out of him, but it came back instantly. He chuckled softly, wrapping his arms around their little boy, and started planting kisses against Isaac's cheek and temple. Isaac squealed and giggled with delight.

And then things faded to nothingness. Black. And slowly came back to the world. Steve became aware of Derek's body against his, the warmth of the blankets around them both. He wondered what had just happened. "I thought you were going?" Steve mumbled, turning to curl against Derek. His lover was naked. How was he going to get the kids to school with no pants on?

"Mmnah, 'm never movin' again," Derek mumbled, still mostly asleep. But despite what he'd just said, he moved closer against his boyfriend and let his lips brush against the warm skin of his neck and collarbone. At this point, he could tip either way: back into hazy dreams or fully awake and ready for round—well, he'd lost count, which was awesome. There wasn't a surface in this hotel room they hadn't at least kissed against, including the shower. As far as Derek was concerned, this was the best birthday ever in his adult life.

Steve nodded, tipping his head to the side and letting Derek explore his skin with kisses. He breathed in deep, wrapping his arms around his lover. Sleep was fading away slowly, lingering around the edges of his mind. Steve's fingertips tangled in Derek's hair. "How will the girls get to school?" He mumbled, though the moment the words were out of his mouth, he realized how strange they were. What girls? The girls from... from his dream? Steve's eyes opened. He took in the sunshine coming in through the window, the painting on the opposite wall, the hotel bathroom through the open doorway. It wasn't their home. It was their hotel room.

His kisses turned hungrier the more Steve let him explore, and his hand began to slide over the warm skin and shifting muscle of his boyfriend's chest and side. Derek paused, however, at the odd words coming out of his mouth. He raised up slightly to shoot him a bemused look. "Still a little asleep there, sweetheart? Was it a nice dream?"

And, suddenly, Steve realized where he was. When he was. This wasn't after their wedding. This wasn't after their children came into their lives. How had the dream seemd so real?

"It was," Steve commented softly. Pain was welling up inside his chest. Loss. He missed his children. Almost like when James was taken, though there was a layer of embarrassment over it, too. Logically, he knew it was just a dream, but it'd felt really real. Now the pain of the loss of it felt real, too. "Oh, it was really nice," Steve felt tears welling up in his eyes.

Derek was suddenly hyper-alert, having detected the change in Steve's scent even before the salt of his tears hit his senses. "Hey. Hey, hey, hey." He levered himself up onto his elbow so he could look down into those baby blues he loved more and more every day. Using his other hand, Derek lightly brushed at the fringe at his forehead. "Tell me about it? Tell me about this really nice dream that's making you so sad."

Steve took a breath in, and it hitched. He felt so stupid for this dream affecting him so. But, in his defense, his nerves were rubbed raw both by all the wacky that the portal had sent at them, and the 5 year trip to the alternate timeline. He felt vulnerable, weak, sad, silly, and, most importantly, loved. Steve tried his hardest to lean in to the vulnerability, and trust his boyfriend. Tears rolled out of his eyes and down his cheeks. "...we had a family. You and me. We were parents to two amazing daughters. We adopted them when they were babies. And our son.... our son." Steve actually attempted to swallow back a sob. It didn't really work. Now this was just silly. He kicked himself. "It was just a dream."

At first, Derek was content to listen, although he still gentled away those tears with soft brushes of his fingers. But by the end, he'd pulled and pulled at Steve until he was on his side so that Derek could wrap himself around him and hold him both close and tight. He tried to imagine this world, this life, and thought maybe he could at least wrap his brain around just how affecting it all was. A family with three kids. The idea made his own chest clench with an ache he hadn't let himself feel since his sister died. A lump formed in his throat, but he still managed to get out a quiet. "It sounds beautiful, even if it was just a dream." Derek took in a shaky breath and released it just as unsteadily. "Do you remember their names? Were we—were we married?"

"It was," Steve took a deep, shuddering breath. "It was beautiful." He paused his words, trying to breathe and not cry. Again, he felt silly. Childish. It was just a dream, and yet... He wanted it. He'd never known how much he wanted it until now that he'd seen a glimpse--the slightest taste. It was all he could think about.

"We were married. And they were Sarah and Laura and Isaac." Now that Steve said the names aloud... was it not going to come true? Did he just ruin everything? "And I want it. I miss it--I miss them. Is that crazy?"

They were close enough that it was easy for Derek to kiss wherever he wanted. So he kissed Steve's tear tracks, and he kissed Steve's cheeks, and he kissed the corner of Steve's mouth. Anywhere he could see the sadness and pain that still gripped his lover. Derek's hands moved over Steve's back in slow, soothing patterns. The names shot straight to his heart.

Steve's mom. Derek's sister and beta. It was perfect. Beyond perfect. Of course, he hadn't seen the images in Steve's head, but the names—god, the names.

"No, sweetheart, it's not crazy. At all. I want it too, Steve. Someday, I want a house and kids and—and you. I want the rest of my life with you. I—I'd love to be your husband"—he gave his boyfriend a small, shy smile, which was absurd since they were pressed up against each other while still entirely naked—"eventually."

The dream was fading fast from his mind. As powerful as the emotions had been when he’d first woken, as much as his heart was twisted in a vice, it was slowly starting to fade. He knew that in time the dream would fade completely. He’d forget all about the children in the dream. There was a part of him clinging to it, clinging to them. His family. But he was also confident that he could have it again. He could have something like it, anyway. Something that he and Derek would build together.

There was a big difference between physical vulnerability--nakedness--and emotional vulnerability. But Derek should have known by now that Steve wanted it, too. That future. A wedding, a house, a family. He wanted Derek for the rest of their lives. “An untraditional proposal, but I’ll take it,” Steve said, softly, breaking into a smile. Even through the tears and the fading pain. “Eventually. Maybe sooner.” Steve’s hand found Derek’s under the blanket, and he laced their fingers together.

Derek was struck dumb, going open-mouth and staring wide. "Did you…? Did I…? Did we...?" He laughed in both disbelief and a giddy kind of elation. "Happy birthday to me?"

Steve grinned. He squeezed his Wolf's hand and then leaned forward to steal a kiss. "Happy birthday to you." Remaining close, Steve nuzzled his nose against Derek's, breathing in his scent. His heart was beating wildly in his chest both from happiness and shock. It was a lot. Had they really just... decided? To get married?? Eventually.

One thing was for sure, though. Steve wanted to make sure to do this right. He was already planning to propose for real.