World Cup Fever Sweeping The Nation As Team Advances To Group of 16
Group of Nineteen Becomes Group of Twenty Again As New Country Takes America's Place: "SOCHI, RUSSIA. The first thing on the agenda for the G19 Summit in the sunny Russian resort town of Sochi? Rename itself to the G20 Summit by electing African fiscal powerhouse Egypt to fill the hole left by America's departure..."
Cities Across The Country Forced To Undergo Special Elections As Redistricting Laws Futz With Local Primary Results
REGIONAL:
NYU Plans To Raise Money For Institution By Selling Dormitories To Non-Profit For Temporary Housing For Mississippi River Refugees: "NEW YORK, NY. In an unprecedented move, New York University President Eve Grauer has announced the institution's intention to sell its Manhattan dormitories to Leg Up, Inc., a not-for-profit out of St. Louis, Missouri who specialize in renovating former residential properties in non-residential zones to comply with new regulations for 'temporary housing for the displaced and disparaged.' This deal, said to be in the beginning stages, is expected to be enough for the University to start a new endowment..."
NYPD, FDNY Expected To Brace Selves For Overtime During Fourth of July Festivities
Rebirth of Fringe Festival, Olympic Hopefuls Swimming Exhibition, New York Philharmonic Performance in Central Park New Additions to Fourth of July Festival Line-Up
Women Who Consume Large Amounts Of Tea Have Lessened Risk Of Rheumatoid Arthritis
New Advancements Make "Morning After" Pill Up to Three Times More Effective
TECHNOLOGY:
Surge In Downloads Retro Soccer-Cheering Apps Rise With Ongoing Popularity of the World Cup
Microchip-Infused Sunscreen Hits The Market: "MIAMI, FL. Not everybody in the Sunshine State is keen to tan. Miami native Charles Wegenbacher has finally pioneered the first sunscreen that will tell you when you need to reapply -- with the aid of microchips."
Designer Pet Debate Flares Online: "NORFOLK, VA. Over a cup of coffee, diehard members of PETA start to lecture me on why hoverkittens and hoverpuppies are the worst thing to happen to the state of animalkind since fur coats -- and an army of bloggers on their website agree..."
ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT:
'Star Wars' Re-Release Highest Grossing Holo Vid In First Week Of Sales
Bernadette Peters to Join Broadway Cast Of 'World War Z': "NEW YORK, NY. Broadway veteran, Dame Bernadette Peters has recently signed on to join the Tony Award winning cast of dancing zombies later this summer. 'I think I can still show these kids a thing or two,' the 81-year-old said..."
'West Side Story' Casting Rumors Abound, David Bologna Joins Workshop Cast
SPORTS AND LEISURE:
Shortest Match At Wimbleton Ever Won Within 18 Minutes
Group G Champions United States "Feel Confident" About Elimination Match Against the Netherlands [TUESDAY]
Historically Inspired Looks Likely To Take U.S. Fashion By Storm This Summer: "NEW YORK, NY. Ever wondered what it might be like to show up at a Fourth of July bash sporting an actual tricorn hat and a pair of knee-high Thomas Jeffersonian boots? Well, this is the summer to get away with it..."
CLASSIFIEDS:
4 Week Summer Art Program with Kids!: "Seeking energetic, experienced, collaborative instructors to teach art curriculum for kindergarten through fourth grade students in a diverse urban setting."
Hover Pit Bulls For Sale: "Worried about a rash of break-ins near your hoverport? HOVERPIT BREEDERS are a safe, certified, and humane facility for hover pit bull guard dogs. Come by our facility in Long Island to get your new best friend -- or protector -- today!"
Lonely Lover Lad Longing for Lakeside Liaison: "They say happiness is contagious! (Or is that the flu?) Looking to go to Buffalo to celebrate the Fourth -- anybody want to come? Call 555-2222."