InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "NEVER stop, keep on walking."

chaos_vincent (chaos_vincent) wrote in mirage_rpg,
@ 2008-08-29 18:44:00

Entry tags:

complete, day 13, kadaj, vincent valentine

You can't escape your sin...
Who: Vincent and Kadaj
What: Kadaj finds Vincent
When: Around noonish
Where: In the woods outside the barn
Rating: PG-ish
Status: COMPLETE

In the woods outside of the barn, a monster stood alone.

Some would have argued that he was not in fact a monster, but merely a man, that the monster lived in him, but was not him. Vincent Valentine tended to differ on the matter. He had stained his hands as red with blood as the mantle that he wore heavily upon his shoulders, and like that mantle it would never be a pure white. There was no way of undoing all that he had done in this life. He couldn't erase it, nor could he erase the memory of it. A part of him considered the paths that others had taken, trying to make up for it by doing something for the families that he had hurt, try to make amends in other ways by becoming a pacifist... but he knew that it wasn't the path for him. The dead were dead. There was no bringing them back. As for redeeming what he'd done... well, he'd probably have to save the whole world to atone for his past.

But all those thoughts were merely noise, idle static which disturbed Vincent from what he was really doing, which was concentrating. He'd practiced a bit the day before, but his near fall with Katara had worried him, and so, having spent the morning looking for a way home for Katara, he now spent his afternoon trying to remember what it was he had tapped into yesterday. It was still there, in a sense, but the flow of it was different, he had been able to move with an inhuman speed yesterday when he'd practiced... with Katara he'd almost not recovered in time.

Calmly breathing from the stomach Vincent let his mind flow to his training, the way his instructor had made him meditate before practice. The mind was the most important weapon one had in any martial art, and if it was dull and sloppy than one who trained for a thousand years would not be as efficient as one who trained for one year with a clear empty mind. Thoughts would clutter, compound, stack up and block the clear flow of thoughts from in and out of the brain, like a clogged artery waiting to burst. And in the heat of battle, a mental heartattack like that would kill you as easily as a real one would.

Focus, don't think, don't delay. Your body is merely reflexes, thoughts are irrelevant. To think about the future is pointless, it is not here. To think on the past is pointless, it has come and gone. In battle all that existed was one moment, one singular instant, one bat of the eyelashes, one beat of the heart. All life, who you were, everything existed within those bounds. Vincent could feel a soft spike of adrenaline creep lightly up through his bloodstream as his body relaxed, as well as his mind, and for that brief moment then, everything was clear, everything seemed to make sense.

Life was easy in that moment. His care for Katara was still there, but there were no thoughts of a future that could never be with her, no worries about how he had acted in the past. But even that care he pushed aside for the moment, more base things like the way his body moved when he breathed, the feeling inside of his chest, the feel of the warm air against his skin. It felt almost too hot to be doing this, and yet he knew well from yesterday that the heat didn't really bother him, exterting himself didn't cause his skin to sweat.

Suddenly his eyes opened wide, and he let himself be filled with the moment.

With a sudden motion his claw hand thrust outward, followed by a pair of kicks to what would have been a person's face, followed by a tight forward roll which would have let his feet slam into someone's shoulders or head. And from there he crouched down like a bird about ready to take flight. It was time to try that which he'd done yesterday, to go beyond what was possible to what seemed impossible... or had before yesterday.

Vincent's muscles tensed as he swiftly sprang into the air and spun a kick over his phantom opponents face, spinning again at the same height, as if gravity no longer affected him, and then coming around front suddenly brought his kicking foot up and then down, a move which would have hooked his opponent's head and sent him flying to the ground. The only problem was doing the move had been impossible for him. He could recall his instructor telling him not to try it, that unless aided by magic to move physically that way would never really be an option.

Vincent paused as he landed, and looked at his golden clawed hand. What was he?

He brushed the thoughts away too, as they disturbed the moment as well. Marvel at himself later, train now. He could recall the first time he'd seen his instructor use a claw like this. Vincent had thought it was funny, and mentioned that he should just use his gun instead. A moment later Vincent had wound up on his ass, not really knowing what had happened. His rubber bullets were littering the ground near the wall he'd been firing at, and his instructor had somehow dodged them all and knocked the wind out of him.

'If you fight a blade master, you can't count on just guns to stop him. Or if he has a shield, what will you do, Valentine? Cry and hope he puts it down? In order to truly fight you have to be able to handle distance close up and far away. That is why you train with a gun as well as with martial arts. The gun takes out that which is far from you, your body takes out that which is close to you. Without one you leave yourself weak and vulnerable, but with both you become nearly unstoppable. Now, show me what you can do...'

Imagining his old master was watching, Vincent began to move. It was an amazing blend of martial arts and gun styles. Even in drawing the weapon an elbow could be added to strike someone before firing. Dancing along the movements he spun and kicked, flipped and stabbed his claw into imaginary opponents, now and again pretending to pull the trigger on his gun, not really firing a round of the three barreled device for fear he might accidentally hurt someone. Then he ran towards a tree, planting his foot on it, kicking it as he imagined shooting at the same time, imagining taking out a foe before flipping over and taking out the one behind him as well.

Then with a swift motion Vincent holstered his gun and began to ran. He had to not think though, to make it like yesterday, just go through the woods. As he began to move faster and faster it felt as if his cape extended, and as he looked back it looked longer than before, bigger. With relative ease he turned and began to run another direction, leaping up into the trees. His cloak pooled around him as he fell down and then leapt back up again, nearly obscuring him as he leapt from tree to tree like a moving red mass, twisting back and forth as he moved.

When he came to a stop, the cloak seemed to return to normal, and Vincent breathed out a slow breath. He wasn't sure what that was, that moment he got into where everything seemed unreal, but it was insane... and slightly addictive. He straightened though as his eyes widened slightly. He felt the prescence of someone watching him. With a fluid spin Vincent turned and unholstered his gun, leveling it where he felt the new energy.

"Who's there?" he growled darkly, knowing it wasn't Katara.

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mothersbestson
2008-08-29 10:05 pm UTC (link)

Not wanting to be inside even before it was time to explore the mountains with Trinity, Kadaj walked around the grounds of the resort away from the beach. He had been to the beach already, where he had accosted a new arrival called Claire. Today he started by leaping nimbly from the balcony of his room again and moving quickly through the gardens not far from building F. Aerith would like it there. As would Ayla he found himself thinking. He hurried on, moving past tennis courts, the outdoor pool to his right and the indoor pool to the left, a large garage and finally he came to an odd-looking red building. His nose told him this was a barn housing animals but he had never seen this kind of creature enclosure on Gaia. Indeed, the only breathing creatures he had seen were chocobos. The large yellow birds hadn't been impressive except he could mentally ridicule Cloud Strife as having Chocobo hair. Most of the places he had been to with his brothers, whether the wastes or the city of Edge or the Forest of the Ancients, hadn't brought him into contact with animals.

Thinking of forest, Kadaj found himself looking at one as he skirted around the barn. He stopped to stare at it, missing the cool light of the moon and the beautiful white glow of the trees from home. His eyes narrowed even more against the overly bright sunlight. It was hot today. Something about the very air was alien. He knew he was on Mirage but still, actually experiencing the foreign feel rather than merely thinking about it made a difference.

His eyes opened wide for a second and he knew his ears suddenly strained to hear... something out there. Hand on the hilt of Souba, he stealthily moved toward the forest, drawn by suspected motion. It wasn't anything he actually saw or heard, just a gossamer hint on the periphery of his senses. After a careful approach, he let instincts guide him into the beginning of trees and brush, where the grass was shaded out. It was almost as stifling beneath the branches as it had been strolling in the sunlight but these conditions hardly distracted him.

And then he saw it, the improbable sight which made his hand draw Souba without his even thinking about it. Though it happened in the light of day on Mirage, Kadaj couldn't mistake that flowing dervish of red which descended from far above the way it had long ago in an extremely distant forest. He watched it flowing silently, landing and then suddenly the tall man pointed a gunblade at him.

This almost made Kadaj feel homesick with thoughts of Yazoo in particular....

He stood tall and slowly waved his sword, neither approaching nor retreating.

"The question should be why did Mirage pick you, of all people?" he responded. "You didn't just arrive, did you?"

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chaos_vincent
2008-08-29 11:45 pm UTC (link)

Even after exterting himself like that, even though he could feel the pull of his own muscles lightly, Vincent noted there wasn't a bead of sweat on him, as if his body had forgotten what it was like to sweat, what it was like to exert itself. Only Katara really was able to make Vincent's heart feel like it was racing, his skin feel like it was flushing. So there was a cold demeanor with which the gunman faced down the swordsman in front of him. Kadaj was mistaken at his first glance though, for unlike Yazoo, Vincent only wielded the three barreled cerberus which was very much a gun, but not at all a blade. Cold red eyes stared over the barrel at Kadaj, and the younger man might reflect upon the fact that he'd never really gotten a good look at Vincent's eyes, which seemed to have a deadness to them that made even Kadaj and his brother's eyes seem normal.

"Pick me?" Vincent repeated slowly, his finger tensing on the trigger. "Who says I was picked at all? No one knows how we got here..." Vincent said, his gun never faultering in it's aim in the slightest, his grip seemingly tireless. Vincent's life wasn't usually filled with people who seemed to talk about him as if they knew him from somewhere. Who was this kid? And why would he have any particular question about why Vincent had come here? Maybe he was a rival for Katara's affections? Vincent had been spending a lot of time with her, perhaps this one was jealous of that... or perhaps... there was something else that he was missing.

For the flicker of a moment Kadaj would see something else in Vincent's eyes, something inside of the gunman, which seemed to hold a power that was far greater than what Kadaj had seen the man display with his cyclone of crimson. Vincent's eyes began to glow brightly, like a demon were about to emerge from him, and in that moment Vincent Valentine felt an almost twisting sense of rage towards the boy in front of him. It felt like what he felt for Hojo, only worse, like there was something about the boy that was just wrong, something that needed to desperately be destroyed, for the sake of everyone, for the sake of EVERYTHING. Vincent's gun wavered slightly as every cell in his body told him to shoot the boy in front of him.

'ALIEN. ABBERATION. DESTROYER.' Something in Vincent's mind screamed primitive thoughts at him, and slowly the raven haired gunman raised a hand to his head, grunting slightly as the claws dug in for a moment.

Whatever it was, however, passed just as quickly, and Vincent took in a slow breath as the glow faded from his eyes. What was happening to him? One minute he was thinking about Katara, and the next he was nearly shooting this kid in front of him, just because he was asking weird questions. None of it made any sense, and yet Vincent couldn't help thinking that there was some piece of the puzzle that he was missing, some small thing that if he could just remember right, would make everything fall into place....

But there was a sense of dread as well, like everything falling into place would somehow cause a horrible truth to be known.

"Wait..." Vincent said, as his thoughts returned to Katara. "You're... Kadaj... the boy from a world like mine..." Slowly he lowered the barrel of his gun, and then spun it once and holstered it, seeming not to be too afraid of the boy's blades. Vincent could draw his gun in a heartbeat if it was neccessary for him to do. Perhaps... perhaps he'd just gotten off on the wrong foot with this one.

"The one who thinks he came from the lifestream... Katara told me about you.." If Vincent knew anything more, it didn't show in his eyes, if anything there was an odd curiousity in them. Slowly, the gunman extended a hand, though he was more than ready to snatch it back if the boy showed the slightest hint of hostility. "I'm Vincent... Vincent Valentine."

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mothersbestson
2008-08-30 02:39 pm UTC (link)

Kadaj stood his ground, ready as always to react quicker than thought. His eyes were at their most cat-like while he witnessed the eyes of his foe do something completely fascinating. They were red and glowed with a light that made them even more intensely bloody. He could observe this and remain prepared to use Souba either in an attack or in defense, or use his super abilities to just get out of the way.

Keenly aware of Vincent's hand making the gun shake slightly, Kadaj's gloved grip readied itself on his sword. Then weirdly, the other was clawing at his own head with the strange golden attachment. There was more than enough time for Kadaj to wonder why and what this dark-haired creature really was. He certainly wasn't like the last Cetra, definitely not like Sephiroth...

He saw the red glow vanish from the man's stare. Perhaps I won't have to make him bleed. The thought was more of a mental judgement than an emotion. Kadaj certainly hadn't developed a fear of either killing nor of dying, but his timeless time in the Lifestream had stripped away the one diabolical desire Sephiroth had infected him with. If this left him somewhat flat emotionally he wouldn't know it. His experiences with other people were limited.

Kadaj's eyes opened wider when the man spoke as if not knowing who he was. What was going on here? He didn't let curiosity get the better of him, not until Vincent performed a spinning stunt with the triple-barreled gun and safely holstered it. Staring at the other from a statue-still stance, he particularly focused on '...Lifestream... Katara told me about you'.

His green eyes locked on the red ones with the same strong curiosity and then he saw the hand being extended in his direction. He slowly sheathed Souba, letting the sword hang behind him as if forgotten.

"I'm Kadaj," he said, a heartbeat away from wary. His eyes stared at Vincent's hand for a few seconds and then, cautiously, he extended his gloved hand for the very first shake of his life ever. Even when Katara had briefly touched his hand at the party wasn't like this. He had tolerated that because he basically couldn't find a reason to dislike the lady.

But to accept and offer a handshake... was something Aerith would tease about at the same time approving of his character's evolution. This thought actually made him relax a bit and after all, it wasn't like anyone would be touching his bare skin.

He almost didn't realise a small smile played over his lips like a relieved child emerging from shadows.

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chaos_vincent
2008-08-30 04:30 pm UTC (link)

Vincent tried not to let himself frown a little as he tried to introspect as to what had come over him. The sensation had been like the beast, and yet was distinctly not, something more primal than even the beast's gutteral mental cries. It was like an aspect of his being, like pain or fear... and yet the only word that seemed to come to mind to Vincent when he tried to think of a way to phrase it was... 'Darkness'. True unrelenting darkness, as if something inside of him was darker than the blackest night. It nearly made him shiver to think on too long.

But there wasn't much time for introspection when someone had a blade drawn at you. To be fair Vincent had drawn his gun first, an old habit, and perhaps a bad one in this place. There wasn't supposed to be anything here that could kill them, so why was it that Vincent felt the need to protect himself? And why even when the youth sheathed the blade did he still get the slight feeling of unease, like there was just something... not right, about the youth in front of him. Vincent refused to let his nerves affect his hand that was outstretched towards Kadaj though. Katara's vouching for the boy was good enough for Vincent, of course, a part of that was likely due to his feelings for the water bender.

Vincent did pick up at the odd way that Kadaj was looking at him though, as if the boy knew something more than he was telling right off. Perhaps the nagging feeling that was plaguing him was because he'd met the boy somewhere? No... he would have remembered that, the eyes alone made him more strange than anyone Vincent had ever seen... but to be fair, Vincent's crimson eyes weren't exactly normal, even where he'd come from. He could remember getting teased in school about his 'devil eyes'. Vincent hadn't taken it too much to heart though, his father had similar colorings on his own eyes, and Vincent's father was the most down to earth person that the former Turk had ever known.

He watched Kadaj stare at his hand, and wondered for a moment if he'd perhaps been a bit too formal with it. Usually business people shook hands, he supposed it might be a little odd for a first meeting, but Vincent didn't know a better way to show that he trusted the youth other than to put away his gun and shake his hand. He was relieved when the white haired boy finally took his hand, and Vincent gave a well practiced shake he'd learned in the turks, not too hard, but firm enough that it felt right.

Vincent's eyes flickered to the man's face and caught the smile there, the crimson clad man's mouth tightening slightly and curving at the edges, for the sort of half smile that he sometimes gave. He just had a dour looking face, and a smile would look unnatural on it, or so he thought, so smiles weren't something that he was overly used to, in truth.

"Nice to meet you, Kadaj." Vincent said politely, taking back his hand. "I'm sorry for pointing a gun at you..." he said, looking down slightly for a moment in apology. "I... came here after I was shot..." he offered, "A part of me is still... a little jumpy." Vincent paused, not normally this open with people, but aside from the nagging feeling that he got deep inside, Vincent got the feeling that Kadaj wasn't exactly used to people either. Besides, he knew Katara would eventually want him to be a little more social than to just see her every evening... why not try to be... friendly?

"Katara didn't tell me too much about you, but she said that there's... a Lifestream on your world as well." Vincent said, continuing to show that he clearly had no memory of Kadaj whatsoever. "I wonder if our worlds are similar..." he offered, pausing to put a hand on his chin in thought. "Though I've never heard of anyone finding the Lifestream, let alone coming back from it..."

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mothersbestson
2008-08-30 09:08 pm UTC (link)

Kadaj matched the firmness of the handshake he felt from Vincent's hand. It seemed odd to him though he knew somewhere in the tangle of thoughts and memories that made him who he was the purpose for such an action. A sort of little ceremony telling the other this was a peaceful encounter.

He would have stared at his own hand like it didn't belong to him except that the other man returning his smile caught his attention. From what he recalled of Vincent Valentine, it was the last expression he expected. Yet it went along with current circumstances and not the ones Kadaj recalled. He wasn't sure he liked this as much as the excitement of the fight in the Forest of the Ancients.

It was clear that Vincent did not know him. Kadaj's brow creased beneath the silver hair as he wondered about this.

"I'd point a gun too if I came here from being shot," he said, nodding. "What I don't understand is why you don't know me. You stole Big Brother from us in the forest, swirling in from above just like you were doing here," came a perplexing explanation. "So it's the same Lifestream... do you know who Cloud is? Sephiroth? The Turks and Shinra? Aerith? My brothers?" The last resonated with hopeful longing.

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chaos_vincent
2008-08-30 10:13 pm UTC (link)

Vincent thought the whole thing was going rather well, and wondered if Katara would be proud of him. A part of him felt sheepish though, thinking that Katara probably wouldn't really be overly interested in the fact that Vincent was being social. Then again, maybe she was hoping he'd be more social so he'd stop following her about like a lost puppy every evening. Sure, Katara most of the time came to him... in fact... all of the time, came to him. But Vincent had it in his head somehow that he was the one doing the chasing, probably because of how he felt. And if Kadaj was keen to noticed, there was a slight guilty glance away whenever Vincent mentioned Katara's name.... if the boy knew anything about affection it wouldn't be too hard to read.

Of course, all of that went out the window when Kadaj just completely dropped the bomb on Vincent. They'd met before? Vincent's eyes narrowed sharply as he tried to think whether or not he'd ever seen Kadaj before. He couldn't remember, but it might explain why he got the sense of danger when he saw the boy. But none of it made sense to him. "You know me? I stole... your brother?" Vincent asked, incredulously. "I never... took part in anything like that when I was a member of the Turks..." there was an odd revelation. Kadaj probably didn't have a clue that Vincent had once been a member of the Turks, though it might explain why he'd sheltered and healed them after they'd been tortured.

"Cloud? What's a Cloud? Aerith? I've never heard of any of these people..." Vincent slowly took a step back from Kadaj, his hand moving slightly down towards his gun. And it neared the hilt until finally a name clicked in his brain, one that had clicked before, but with Katara it had fled from his mind. "What... what did you just say?" Vincent asked, almost angrily, and suddenly grabbed the youth by his shoulders as thoughts began to spin inside of his head like a whirlwind, and in the midst of it suddenly there was an eerie yet horrible calm, as everything seemed to fall into place.

"The same place... but perhaps... a different time?" Vincent murmered to himself, and then gripped the boys shoulders firmly, though if the boy struggled he could easily get out of Vincent's grasp. "Sephiroth!" Vincent demanded, his crimson eyes red and focused hard on the pale haired boy in front of him. "What became of Sephiroth? Lucrecia died and... Hojo must have been the one to raise the boy... he would have kept me locked up if the planet hadn't taken me..."

Vincent's gaze seemed to burn into the young mans. "Please... what happened to Sephiroth?"

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mothersbestson
2008-08-30 11:45 pm UTC (link)

The only reason Vincent could grab him was because, like Kadaj, he had superhuman speed. Kadaj tensed in the grip of the dark-haired man. A kind of wavery energy flowed from him, giving him a mirage-like appearance. He stepped back with strong distaste contorting his features, pulling just out of reach. His hand tightened around the sword hilt without drawing it, only because Vincent had found a common point in their different histories that interested Kadaj more than violence. There could be no mistaking the fury in his bright green eyes though.

That had to be it, a different time indeed... He had just said something about 'the boy', meaning Sephiroth. So thirty or more years previously? The man didn't look old but no one else Kadaj knew possessed such red eyes either.

"Don't touch me," he growled, shaking from fury and then forcing it to diminish with strength of will.

He tossed his head, nostrils flaring slightly. "Sephiroth grew up to become the most famous SOLDIER of all," Kadaj said with pride. "Tall, powerful, long white hair, a true commander." His eyes narrowed, wondering exactly what Vincent knew about Hojo. But he would continue answering before he asked more questions. "Everyone knew the world was Sephiroth's for the taking and he knew it too... until that one night in Nibelheim. Sephiroth went there to investigate a malfunctioning Mako reactor but he found a chamber labelled Jenova. He'd been told his mother's name was Jenova..." Kadaj said this gently and his voice trailed away for a few seconds, as if he had to compose deeply embedded emotions.

He resumed with a stronger tone: "Sephiroth discovered research notes at a Shinra mansion in Nibelheim and learned how he had been injected with Jenova cells before he was even born. The scientists had thought Jenova was one of the Cetra." Anger sounded in his tone now. "It's said he went mad because he thought humans had destroyed the Cetra. He burned Nibelheim down, cut people down..." Kadaj trembled with fury. No matter how many times he had visited those events in the Lifestream, the emotions never diminished in their power. And since he was speaking to one from his own world, rather than explaining it to gentle Katara, his composure vanished in the emotional conflagration.

The air immediately surrounding him glowed with Materia when he continued in a raw voice. "He decided to call all Jenova cells to himself and become God, so he could destroy the planet and all living on it. Cloud -- Cloud Strife -- was the one who killed Sephiroth. Except Sephiroth refused to die, refused to stay in the Lifestream and he split into three...."

Kadaj fixed an unblinking stare on Vincent Valentine. "I am one of those three. Eventually I was also cut down by Big Brother -- Cloud Strife that is. That's why I went to the Lifestream."

He had stopped trembling now and seemed much calmer but he still had that pale blue-greenish glow emanating from him. It made a slight humming sound and could be felt by anyone standing close enough as a series of unwelcomed tingles.

"Does that explain anything?" he demanded.

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chaos_vincent
2008-08-31 02:39 am UTC (link)

Vincent let the younger man stray out of his grasp, but he still stared at Kadaj as if he were a live wire on the ground, that at any moment could strike. The younger man was visibly angry and Vincent could accept that, in his place he might have been too, but all that mattered now was finding out what had happened with Sephiroth, what had become of... Lucrecia's legacy. Vincent didn't allow himself to look down in apology like he might have under any other circumstances, nor did he say anything when Kadaj told him not to touch him.

'It's going to be a boy Vincent... we've decided on a name... Sephiroth'. Vincent could recall as clear as day when Lucrecia had told him the news. Things had never really been the same with them, not for months now, after she'd decided to marry Hojo. While he'd not been officially reassigned, Hojo had made it clear to Vincent after they'd married that Vincent was no longer welcome in the lab, and that he could perform his guard duties just as well outside of the front door of the house or in the sitting room. Lucrecia had been assigned personal guards that had been hand selected by Hojo. Vincent knew nothing about them, but the idea of them made him nervous, as if there was something to hide.

At first he'd been happy, in that way that people are for people that they care about who have moved on, even when the flame of affection was still burning bright. There was certainly nothing he could do to get in the way of her and Hojo's love, especially now that she was with child. But he couldn't help but feel at the time that something had been wrong, some little glitch in the normal logic of his mind. It was the odd name of their child, he'd heard it before, somewhere, but where? He couldn't be sure, so it troubled him for days until he recalled that he'd done some snooping into Hojo's files to make sure things were on the level with the creepy scientist. He was part spy, after all, and he wanted to make sure Lucrecia was happy.

The Sephiroth project, and extension of the G project. To implant cells from subject 'Jenova' into a fetus and allow to come to term. Whatever the results of the 'G' project were, they had long since been locked away, beyond what Vincent could break into. He wasn't much of a hacker himself, he just knew rudimetary skills, and knew enough about Lucrecia to crack the password on her network access.

A cold sense of dread had come to him at the realization of what was going on, and the next day he'd had his fateful confrontation with Lucrecia and Hojo. He had asked them, unabashedly, if they thought it was wise to experiment on their unborn child. But Hojo had treated Vincent like he was a child, and Lucrecia... Lucrecia had seemed as adamant about it as Hojo was. Only later did Vincent wonder if her words had been a secret cry for help. But there were a thousand other ways she could have asked for it, why hadn't she been more... open?

Vincent's face fell like someone had twisted a knife in his gut as Kadaj bragged about the exploits of Sephiroth. Not only had he failed Lucrecia, but he'd allowed her to birth a monster into the world, a dark angel of destruction. He realized now where he'd heard the name Jenova before in his past. It'd never clicked before now... the calamity from the skies. In the old tongue of the Cetra it was called Jenova. Hojo must have known, as Vincent's father did. But Grimoire had passed on long before Vincent had ever met Lucrecia... had Hojo told her? Surely she wouldn't have been willing to give birth to.... a monster.

Vincent's hands began to shake with rage, and his guantlet clenched so tightly the tips of it dug into his own flesh, to the point where Kadaj might smell blood in the air, and would definately see it dripping from his left hand down into the ground below. "Hojo..." Vincent growled, more darkly than he would have if he were the Galian beast, and though he didn't look at Kadaj, the youth might see a frightening glare of hatred in his eyes. Kadaj had never seen it from Vincent, there'd only been a cold calculating calm there when the two of them had met before. Now... now there was a hatred in them that seemed almost overflowing, as if it could consume the scarlet man in front of him.

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chaos_vincent
2008-08-31 02:42 am UTC (link)

But Vincent managed to cool it, calm it down, force himself to breath slowly. Only then did he fall to his knees, like a marionette who's strings had been cut. "And my sin continues on in you..." Vincent said softly to the white haired youth in front of him. In a way Vincent almost felt like trying to kill Kadaj, in another way, he wanted the youth to kill him and give him final rest. But neither of those would make Katara happy, and so he shoved them aside, and instead looked up from the ground at a fragment of the progeny of Hojo.

"Jenova was not an Ancient. Jenova is the old name for an alien... the calamity from the heavens. That which hunted and killed the last of the Cetra, that which the Cetra gave their lives to stop."

"Sephiroth's mother... your mother was not Jenova." He said softly, and his crimson eyes looked away for a moment. "She was a lovely woman named Lucrecia Crescent." He wasn't sure if Kadaj considered himself Sephiroth or not, but as he could not say this to Sephiroth, he would say it to the boy and hope that it gave him some peace. "Hojo altered Sephiroth before he was born, implanting Jenova cells while he was still developing. Hojo didn't alter Sephiroth to become god, but rather to infest the lifestream, to pollute it with a consciousness it couldn't absorb." Slowly, Vincent rose, staring at Kadaj calmly. None of the warmth was there in his eyes that had once been there, their kinship had fractured, it seemed.

The boy almost took a perverse glee in what he'd done, and that twisted a knot in Vincent's stomach, but not nearly as much as the idea that whatever the boy had done was Vincent's fault. "So in the future, decades in the future I must still be... alive..." Vincent said, staring down at his hands for a moment. Kadaj hadn't recognized any difference in him. Did that mean in the future he looked exactly the same?

"And I fought alongside Cloud to atone for... letting Lucrecia..." He paused and there was a sadness in his eyes once again.

Only after a moment did he raise his eyes to Kadaj, and once again Kadaj would see the cold killer's eyes that he'd seen in the heat of battle in the forest of the Ancients. "How many? How many people did you kill, before Cloud stopped you?" He asked brazenly.

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mothersbestson
2008-08-31 11:38 am UTC (link)

Kadaj didn't answer the last question. Too much else was going on with Vincent for him to even focus on that. Had he thought about it just then, he would have dismissed the topic since it was always kill or be killed in war, and he had been basically created to fight for Reunion of the Jenova cells....

But in this very moment, he did perceive the scent of blood in the air. Nothing else even remotely had that quality. His eyes quickly focused on Vincent's blood dripping to the ground when the other man growled a guttural "Hojo". It was almost like saying the name made him bleed, though from what followed Kadaj understood Vincent suffered agonies he probably couldn't even imagine and... seemed to insist on still suffering them.

So he watched with extreme wariness but he listened very closely, absorbing another explanation into the body of information he already possessed. The fascinating thing was how everyone's emotions shaped history and somehow coalesced into something like its own entity.

When Vincent collapsed to his knees, Kadaj stood statue-still. His eyes widened at the comment "And my sin continues on in you..." Such a provocative comment....

"Perhaps I shortened the story too much-- I learned later they all made a mistake assuming Jenova was a Cetra. Yes, I know now what Jenova was..." He waved a hand as if trying to rid himself of the thoughts accompanying this comment. Right now delving into his own twisting paths of self-discovery would only distract from what had to happen here with him and Vincent.

"Lucrecia Crescent," Kadaj repeated gently. While he said this, any lingering glow of anger expressed through his Materia vanished, leaving only the pale countenance that looked the most natural seen under the light of a moon shining over the Forest of the Ancients. Here in this forest he looked too pale and too black in all the leathers. "My mother...." The cat-slit pupils had become rounded, darkening his eyes.

He didn't care Vincent stared at him with cold hatred. Such he could expect from enemies. When he'd encountered such from Sephiroth, however--

"What are you seeking atonement for?" he asked softly, moving forward a step slowly. Kadaj held his hands far out from his sides, gloved palms exposed to show he was not going to attack.

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chaos_vincent
2008-08-31 03:21 pm UTC (link)

Oh yes, the hatred for the greasy scientist was as great as it had ever been. Even when he'd confronted Hojo in his office, Vincent hadn't been more filled with rage. Hojo had lied to him, and quite possibly lied to Lucrecia too. Even though publicly Jenova was still regarded as an Ancient in the time that Vincent came from, Vincent was certain that Hojo knew the truth. It all fit in too well, given that Hojo had never seemed interested in reviving the Cetra. His experiments with monsters and the life stream had always been at the forefront of his research, though Vincent himself had witnessed very little of it directly. Hojo's own wife and child... how could he?!?

His red eyes followed Kadaj's to his guantlet, seeing the blood dripping from it, and slowly, as if taking an extreme amount of will, Vincent forced his hand to unclench. Blood still dripped from the tips of his guantlet, and had already stained the claws red.

Then it was time for his explanation, a sordid rerunning of events that had happened. Vincent was surprised to hear that Kadaj had later learned the truth of his origins, in part. What troubled Vincent though, was that if what he said was true about coming from the lifestream, then... Lucrecia should have told Kadaj all of this, shouldn't she? Which meant that she was alive... or... her experiment had somehow robbed her of the final rest, and she was trapped somewhere between life and unlife. A horrific end for someone who'd once been so very warm. Another sin to add to the multitude of that which he had wrought upon the world.

Kadaj didn't answer his question and Vincent's eyes narrowed, but he didn't take any aggressive action against the youth as he stepped forward, palms open. To kill him in this place would have been to hurt Katara. And she at least deserved a goodbye before he destroyed himself, even if it was for the good of the world. The question the boy threw his way though caused his thoughts to pause, not because it wasn't a question he'd asked himself a thousand times, but because it did not seem the sort of question a killer would ask.

"I did nothing." Vincent said solemnly, honestly. "I broke into Dr. Crescent's files, and found out about the Sephiroth project. I confronted them both on it, demanded to know how they could do that, to their own child. I didn't realize then that Jenova was the old name for the Calamity from the skies... I don't know if Lucrecia ever realized... but when she and Dr. Hojo told me that they were scientists... that they knew the risks and knew what they were doing... I stood by, until it was too late."

"Being afraid to take action killed your mother. As she deteriorated, I confronted Hojo... he shot me, and made me into.. this..." It wasn't exactly clear what 'this' was, but from the way he said it Kadaj would be able to tell that Vincent wasn't exactly human anymore himself. "I must have been asleep for months... when I came out of it... I could sense Lucrecia was dead... I imagine giving birth to Sephiroth..."

"I killed her, the woman I..." Vincent trailed off, unable to say that word, not with all that had happened. It was possible that Katara would be the one to teach him to use it proudly, but at the moment Vincent's nature won out. "That is my sin."

Vincent paused, and took a slot breath. "Her blood is on my hands..." he said, holding up the gauntlet, showing the red tipped claws to Kadaj. "The people you killed... the suffering you caused, the suffering your brothers caused, the suffering that Sephiroth caused... all of that is on my hands as well. Even the lives destroyed because of that bastard Hojo still breathing is on me because I did not kill him when I had the chance..." Vincent growled darkly.

"How many?" He asked again. It was clear he would not attack Kadaj, but Vincent was insistant upon knowing how many lives should weigh upon his conscience.

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mothersbestson
2008-08-31 04:29 pm UTC (link)

Kadaj listened and as he did so, a puzzled look came over his face. His head tilted slightly while part of him heard Vincent very clearly and the other part remembered information, emotions, ideas passed to him from the noble spirit that was Aerith Gainsborough. Vincent was bitter self-condemnation. Aerith forgiveness and that gentle sense of humour she had... She obviously forgave any link he had to the one who had killed her, to Sephiroth.

While Vincent couldn't forgive himself.

"I don't know how many, I didn't count," he answered honestly after his attention was brought back to that question. Ah yes, now he understood why the other man wanted to know. "You want to die, don't you? Whatever the reason is, you take the blame for choices other people made. I met the last Cetra after I died. It was she who extended her hand to me when I went to the Lifestream. It was she whom Sephiroth had murdered yet she didn't even give the smallest hint of accusation or unacceptance. She wasn't even mad at Sephiroth. It was he who rejected her, me, my brothers, any kind of reason..."

The Kadaj he had been before death would have never talked like this, definitely not to Vincent. Mostly likely he would have sneered something like 'You did nothing then and you do nothing now' before attacking to kill. Somehow the Lifestream had changed him enough so that Sephiroth's rage was no longer the core of his own existence. It was still part of him but he had other depths and wells to explore. He could use the intelligence of Sephiroth minus the persistent will to destroy.

And he felt the pain of a boy not knowing his mother. "I guess this doesn't matter to you so it's only of worth to myself, but I don't blame you for any of it. My mother and Hojo made those choices. You said you did try to do something and you were shot for the attempt. You do fine on your own accusing yourself. I'm not going to add to that if I can help it." Kadaj himself was a bit surprised at the turn his comments had taken but he was forthright.

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chaos_vincent
2008-08-31 05:42 pm UTC (link)

Vincent winced slightly as Kadaj mentioned that he'd not counted. He had expected as much, but a part of him had hoped for something else. That Kadaj would be able to tell him that only a few had been hurt, that Hojo's madness hadn't engulfed the entire world. An entire world dissolved into chaos, gone mad, because of one scientist's insane desire to take over everything, to control the very flow of life itself. Vincent nearly fell to his knees again at the thought of it, at the thought of how many had died, would die, or live in suffering because of the one event that he didn't bring himself to stop from happening. If he let Kadaj live now, would the white haired boy do the same thing? Was he making another mistake in even talking to him?

"I..." Vincent started, and looked away as Kadaj asked if he wanted to die. It was true, even now a part of him longed for the weightlessness of oblivion. To take all that had been weighed upon his shoulders and finally let it free. He wasn't sure if he would return to the lifestream, or if what he had been made into would simply... fade away. But it didn't matter, none of it mattered if he could just finally... rest. Without the nightmares, without trying to atone for what he'd done, the mountain of wrongs that he could never make right.

"He killed... the last of the Ancients." Vincent put a hand to his face at that. It nearly made him want to cry. His father would have risked almost anything to meet an Ancient. They'd assumed that all of them had died out during the great war with the Calamity. But they must have survived, few and far between. Blended in with society somehow. To think that one had been alive during his and his father's lifetime, and Grimoire had never had the chance to speak with one. And Sephiroth had rid the world of it. The Jenova cells in Sephiroth's body probably held the hatred from long ago.

And yet, even in death, it would seem the Cetra still lived. Perhaps a small weight lifted off of his shoulders at that. Some of his sin managed, by the Cetra. "Aerith." he said softly. He would never forget that name, the name of the last Cetra. Perhaps, if he went back, he could stop this travesty from happening, repay her for trying to undo the horrors on the world that he had caused.

As Kadaj mentioned the fact that he didn't blame Vincent, the crimon clad gunman's head bowed slightly as he stared at the ground. Vincent didn't know what to say to it. Kadaj was right in part, in some fashion it didn't matter whether or not he was blamed by the boy. Vincent blamed himself. For being too weak to do what had needed to be done. He'd tried... but it'd been a token effort. There had been so much more than he could have done, and by the time he acted it was too late to stop Hojo or Lucrecia. No, he'd let Lucrecia do what she had wanted, and had only tried to intervene when it became clear that something was wrong with her.

If... If it had been Lucrecia and his child... would he have stopped her, if she'd wanted it? The thought sent chills down his spine.

"Thank you." he finally said, though it was clear he wasn't sure what to think about Kadaj's forgiveness.

Quietly those crimson eyes lifted to Kadaj's, staring at the green eyed youth calmly through strands of raven hair as his lips pursed softly. "It seems you've been given a second chance to live, Kadaj. Away from the evils of our world... in this place. What will you do with it?" He asked softly, but there was an edge to his voice as he stared at the youth. "Will you still try to live out Sephiroth and Hojo's dream?" Vincent stared calmly, but internally prayed the answer was no... if it was 'yes'... then Vincent would have to find a way to stop Kadaj... even if it meant losing all he had gained in this place.

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mothersbestson
2008-08-31 06:41 pm UTC (link)

Kadaj considered how they had traded the names of women both of them would have liked meeting. For Vincent had given him the name of Lucrecia. Lucrecia Crescent. It sounded beautiful. It didn't sound like the name of someone who'd experiment on an unborn child. Unless she truly believed the Ancients would only benefit her child, rather than create the nightmares....

Of course she must have. Kadaj knew almost nothing about love, on the physical plane, but if Vincent loved her she would be what people called 'worthy' and 'good'. She had to have been.

And he had given Vincent the name of the last known Ancient. "Her full name is Aerith Gainsborough," he added thoughtfully and just nodded to the dark-haired man's "Thank you."

Meeting Vincent's crimson stare, he shook his head then. "No." He finally lowered his arms to his sides, assuming a more relaxed posture. "I don't know exactly what I want to do but I know what I don't want to do. I won't toss away what Sephiroth threw away."

He sighed softly and looked around at this forest again, feeling the heat of the air. Like Vincent, he didn't actually sweat but he began feeling thirsty. He couldn't remember the last time he had sipped water; he could use the energy of the embedded Materia as a food substitute for quite a while. Perhaps this wasn't an ability he needed so much here where he wasn't actively pursuing war and violence. There was no doubt he still reacted with a welcoming excitement to the dangerous challenge. Perhaps nothing else would make him feel quite as alive but he also accepted the kinder side of life after all.

"What will you do away from the evils of our world, Vincent?" he wondered.

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chaos_vincent
2008-08-31 08:09 pm UTC (link)

Vincent blinked a little as he saw the way that Kadaj reacted to the mention of Lucrecia's name. Then again, once his mother had gone, didn't a small part of him always long for the comfort of her? Kadaj had likely never seen Lucrecia, most likely had never considered anyone his mother. Perhaps, perhaps the ancient in the lifestream might have been a surrogate mother to him, someone that she could look up to. Aerith Gainsborough. She truly must have had a compassion that was unsurpassed, to not even hate a piece of the one who had killed her. Even Vincent burned for the revenge against Hojo, but it was waning by the day... being with her... feeling the strange things he felt around her... took it away, slowly.

Vincent's eyes closed in relief as the boy said 'no', and the corners of his mouth tugged up in a slight smile at that. The mantle on his shoulders felt a little lighter then, and Vincent straightened slightly opening his eyes to look at the youth who was going to do something else with his future. Vincent hoped that here that Kadaj could find a way to be happy. In a way, he was a fragment of Lucrecia, something that she'd left on... now freed of the corruption of Jenova... or so Vincent hoped. In truth there probably would never be a way to be completely sure.

"Good." Vincent said, and felt himself relax fully for the first time since Sephiroth's name was mentioned. It was odd to think that, had fate twisted itself differently, the boy in front of him might have been his own. Then again, the idea of raising children petrified Vincent to the bone. He could hardly take care of himself, how could he look after someone who'd ask him tons of questions that he didn't have the answers to? Then again, it didn't seem, with things going with Katara as they were, that it would be very much of an issue. He had sworn to protect her, but the line was drawn there...

Still, Vincent paused at Kadaj's question, which was a fair one. Slowly he looked away, and scratched the back of his head. It wasn't exactly rocket science what was going through Vincent's head, though Kadaj didn't know him well enough to know for certain, it might be fairly easy to guess exactly who was on the former Turk's mind. "There's... someone here... I have to protect." Vincent said softly. "While I'm here, there's nothing I can do to atone for the sins of what I did there... all I can do is... try not to repeat them... and make sure to protect this person when she needs me."

Vincent paused and flushed a little. He didn't know why he was telling this to Kadaj. Perhaps it was because the two of them came from the same place, or perhaps because on some level they were tied by the same strings of fate, it seemed. But for whatever reason, Vincent gave an honest answer to Kadaj's question, though he didn't give Kadaj the name. Not that it was too hard to guess, but Katara didn't know, and Vincent wasn't sure how she'd feel about it. She'd been the one to pull away, to mention her other love... if she found out now what Vincent felt... how would she react?

The former Turk noticed the weary look on Kadaj's face, and realized despite the fact that it didn't seem to phase him, it was rather hot outside. "Do you want to go inside where it's cooler?" Vincent offered, not sure if the young man would be happy about the offer or refuse it out of pride.

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mothersbestson
2008-09-01 08:33 am UTC (link)

Kadaj didn't miss the smile, subtle though it was. To stand within striking distance of the enemy revealed details and clues, perhaps even more so when the battle ended. With the shift away from their conflict, even if Vincent had to be told about what happened after Miracle had stolen him, there was time to pay attention to other signs.

And something here was puzzling. If Vincent Valentine was taken before he rescued Cloud from the three Sephiroth remnants, had he still appeared from above in the Forest of the Ancients? Kadaj certainly recalled the rescue. He shrugged mentally and just told himself he didn't understand time because he wanted to listen to the other man, give his complete attention to these important events and comments rather than withdraw into his mind.

He saw Vincent relax minutes after he himself had switched from wary. It was an oddly pleasant sensation to know he'd just eased the other's burden with his negative answer.

A puzzled look came into Kadaj's eyes when he listend to the talk about Vincent protecting someone on Mirage. He might have retained Sephiroth's intelligence to the point where he could find thoughts, toss out ideas, even verbally duel if he chose to, but he also used this more as a cunning weapon to fight and survive. Always on the chase until now, he didn't have the habit of deeply analysing a question. He preferred reacting to situations on the physical level.

And Vincent blushed while hesitating in his response. Kadaj's mind raced to find out why when suddenly he thought of Katara, one person both of them had met. He tilted his head, blinking at Vincent, putting it together. Protect Lucrecia Crescent, protect Katara...

He nodded, practicality winning over ego. "Cooler would be good. So would some water. I'll go take care of that. Are you coming inside too?" he wondered. It wouldn't displease him though perhaps Vincent wished to be solitary again. Kadaj had felt he was somewhat embarrassed about his revelation regarding Katara. Though he didn't really understand why, he did know how it felt wanting to be alone.

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chaos_vincent
2008-09-01 05:14 pm UTC (link)

All of this felt a little weird to Vincent, and somewhat new. Why was it that he could tell that Katara would be happy with him right now? Because he wasn't treating himself like a monster? Because he was actually having a civilized conversation with someone for once, other than her? Because he wasn't blushing and looking away or lingering in silence and staring at his feet when he was being talked to? It was a strange twist of fate that he should be here with someone who, by his own admission, was an enemy, and yet be talking with him. The progeny of Hojo, no less... but then, the progeny of Lucrecia as well.

Vincent caught the knowing glance as he told Kadaj about the person he needed to protect. Vincent didn't really even know if the other man had any special powers, maybe he was reading Vincent's mind at this very minute. That would be embarassing, but then, it was kind of obvious Kadaj didn't need to be a mind reader to tell what was going on in Vincent's brain. The former turk looked away and scratched the back of his head, feeling his cheeks burn slightly. He hoped that Kadaj didn't go talk to Katara about all of this, it'd be really embarassing if he mistook Vincent's meaning.

"I-If you could..." Vincent stuttered softly. "She... doesn't know. Don't tell her, please." he finally said, his fear of Katara finding out and being upset outweighing his fear of Kadaj knowing the truth. Vincent didn't bother go into the sordid details of the fact that Katara actually had someone else that she was dating, and thusly what he felt could never be. Hopefully Kadaj wouldn't pry too much, and he could leave that little detail out of things.

"I..." Vincent paused as Kadaj almost asked the crimson clad man to join him. He wasn't sure if it was because Kadaj thought it was the polite thing to do, or because he still wanted Vincent's company. But the more he thought about it, Vincent owed it to Lucrecia to at least try to get to know her child, and befriend him in whatever way Kadaj would let him. He nodded softly. "I think I will..." he said quietly and began to walk beside the white haired youth, now and again cutting his eyes over at the boy.

"So..." he said after a moment, "What have you done, since you got here?" It was less accusatory so much as it was curious. He was curious what Lucrecia's child would be interested in, if it would be the same things as her, or something completely different.

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mothersbestson
2008-09-02 01:06 pm UTC (link)

Kadaj shrugged. He heard a mix of emotions from his unexpected companion while Vincent stuttered about the subject of Katara. "I wouldn't know what to tell her anyway. Don't worry," he responded to the request. He remembered when talking with Katara at the party that he had thought about love in connection with the remarkable Aerith, and so here was an aspect of love? Not quite the same but nonetheless it was part of that emotion he'd had so little of.

He admitted it did please to have Vincent accompany him. Companionship itself wasn't new to Kadaj, for he had experienced it with his brothers, but to possibly make a friend and particularly of an enemy, that was totally different for him. Actually forging common ground where there had been opposition was good, wasn't it?

As they walked past the barn, he glanced over to catch one of Vincent's red-eyed looks in his direction. "What have I done?" he repeated thoughtfully and softly. "Mostly I've been meeting people. I arrived in the storm and so did someone calling himself a Jedi knight, whatever that is. Said his name's Anakin. I don't like him. We both met a woman called Ayla. I think I like her but I doubt she likes me." He shrugged. "Then there's Katara. I also met a woman called Trinity." He laughed, remembering their fascinating discussion. "We're supposed to go exploring in the mountains today. And then I was on the beach when another girl arrived. Called Claire and she wondered if I had any abilities. I haven't been here that long so not much else to tell right now."

Kadaj glanced at Vincent again. "What about you?"

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chaos_vincent
2008-09-03 12:26 am UTC (link)

"Thanks," Vincent's dark voice rumbled softly as he looked to the ground, not really wanting to look at Kadaj with eyes that were filled with affection for Katara. A part of him was a little embarassed about it. Did Kadaj know that the she had someone else? Did he know that it was a hopeless affection? Vincent didn't really care that Kadaj might be laughing at him, he'd really always been laughed at in one way or another around people who were his peers. And as much as he wanted to protect Lucrecia's progeny, he didn't really know if he'd ever consider Kadaj like a son. The youth seemed far too independant for such a thing anyway.

He perked up a little as he listened to Kadaj's experiences here. The fact that Kadaj might have found someone that he liked made Vincent's lips turn slightly in what passed for a smile from him as he looked down for a moment, considering what Kadaj had told him. They both came from a place where being forward like that was something that was a little odd. Admitting to one's feelings, being open about them, those sorts of things frightened Vincent like nothing else. But they were all things that Katara did without thinking about them. She was so open and honest, and he found himself in awe of it, and addicted to it in a way. Was it a good idea to share something like that with Kadaj?

"Ask her out." Vincent said suddenly, looking as he himself was surprised by the fact that he'd said that. He hung his head down for a moment, then turned and honestly looked at Kadaj with serious eyes. Not angry like they had been before, but that seriousness he'd had when talking to Kadaj about his past was there in his eyes now. "I... the world we come from makes it so that taking chances is... something that is hard to do... but..." He paused and looked down for a long moment. "Sometimes, when you don't take a chance... you let something important to you slip through your fingers without realizing it, until it's too late to catch again..." He turned his head away. He was talking of course about Lucrecia, but in a way about Katara too. He'd learned from his mistakes, he'd taken the chance. Yeah, things hadn't worked out, but... perhaps there was a divinity in just having... tried. It made him feel a little better to think about.

Vincent couldn't help but chuckle at Kadaj's assessment of Claire. "I don... didn't... have any special powers to speak of." He corrected quietly. The image of his father suddenly stuck in his mind and Vincent stared into the distance. "Sometimes the strongest people in the world don't have any. I think in a way it makes them stronger... to be able to live happily like that...."

As the subject turned to him, Vincent got silent and slowly raised his guantleted hand, staring down at the hole he'd made in the black fabric with the claws of the guantlet. Through the holes, his skin was now undamaged, completely. His crimson eyes stared at it for a moment, and touched it lightly with his leather gloved hand as if it weren't real. "Nothing..." he said honestly, lightly sliding a finger to hook into the glove, still somewhat fascinated by the flesh that had been deeply wounded until a few minutes ago.

"Until the day before yesterday, I didn't even think I could return to this form. Hojo's experiments... changed me." It was clear from the dead tone of voice he used that the changes weren't exactly for the better. "I attacked Katara when I first came here... I was so out of my right mind... but she forced me to snap back to my senses... and she had faith in me when I had none in myself..." Slowly his guantlet closed. That was why he had to protect her, because she had given him back his life. That's why he was hers. No matter if she didn't want him, she would have a hound from hell following her for all time.

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mothersbestson
2008-09-03 11:24 am UTC (link)

Kadaj just walked along without particularly looking at Vincent as they got closer to the resort building. That was how positive he felt about this developing companionship, knowing neither would attack the other. It was a strange feeling to form this bond and he instinctively knew both of them needed it from the other, if only because of the tragic ties from a past they had in common.

Then Kadaj stopped and turned to stare at Vincent, his jaw actually dropping in total surprise. What had Vincent said, ask her out.... As he stared at the man hanging his head for a moment, Kadaj tried to think what he'd said that made the other suggest such an improbable idea. Then he thought he understood when Vincent spoke again.

"Hnn, maybe you're trying to give yourself advice about taking chances," he suggested quietly and resumed walking. He shook his head in puzzlement about the ask her out bit though.

Kadaj was ready to drop that perplexing thought to seize on something he did understand, which was noticing how Vincent's hand that had dripped blood from the interesting gauntlet seemed to have already healed.

"I... I want to ask how the experiments changed you but I won't because you should probably be hating me now," he thought out loud. "I don't think I've processed all of this yet but if we can talk like this because of my mother, my real mother, well...." For the first time in his short, strange life, Kadaj was at a loss for words. Sure the other man had emotions and ideas running through him the youth couldn't quite grasp, but he realised that he was confusing himself even more without knowing why.

He laughed at a time some might consider inappropriate, feeling a cold blade of irony slicing his soul. Glancing up, he noticed one of the golem-things approaching them. It carried a tray with a selection of beverages on it.

"I can see Katara having faith in you," Kadaj said, returning to a subject he could understand. "Why... don't you ask her out?" He actually had a mischievous look in his green eyes.

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chaos_vincent
2008-09-03 07:12 pm UTC (link)

Vincent himself was rather surprised about the fact that he'd given Kadaj the advice that he had, but, perhaps that was just the affects of Katara rubbing off on him. As he saw Kadaj's jaw drop he looked away, wondering if he might have said too much. He had no idea what Lucrecia would have wanted Vincent to tell Kadaj in this situation, but he assumed that telling the youth to go after what he desired wouldn't be... too wrong, would it? He'd liked to think if Lucrecia was watching she would have been at least... okay with it. Maybe Katara was making him go crazy, or maybe it was the fact that with all that had happened with Hojo something had changed in his mind, which made him forget how to be normal. Then again, Katara wasn't... normal... so was that so bad?

Those crimson eyes traveled down at Kadaj mentioned he was trying to give himself advice about taking chances. Ah, if only Kadaj knew... but hopefully the boy wouldn't ask. It was embarassing enough to think about what had transpired between Katara and himself, he had no intention of going into it with Kadaj, no matter what relation the two of them had together. Just thinking about it made a touch of color flood into his cheeks, and caused him to stare at his pointy boots for a bit as they walked along through the forest together.

"I... don't hate you, Kadaj..." Vincent said quietly, as the boy finished his laughter, staring down at his hand for a minute more before, letting it fall to his side limply. He nodded at the boy's sentiment though. "Lucrecia was... the sort of person who could probably bring enemies together. I... think she wanted what was best... for the world." She didn't go about it in a way that Vincent really approved of, but he left that part out. Better not to bring up the fact with Kadaj that his mother had been rather adamant about performing the procedure. The white haired youth didn't really need to know about it, it wouldn't solve anything, if anything it would only dim what could be a guiding light for Kadaj's future.

"It seems the rooms here... will let you show images.. of the past..." Vincent said softly, his crimson eyes glancing over at Kadaj. "I can show her to you sometime... how I remember her, anyway." It wasn't exactly a lot, but Vincent knew when he was a boy, sometimes the old videos of his mother that his father had kept would give him hope when he needed it the most. It would be hard to see her again for him, but if it meant that the boy could find something to treasure in it... it would be more than worth it.

"As for how I've changed... I don't fully understand myself... nor can I show you..." Vincent said softly. "Whatever it is that's inside of me... I don't know how well I can control it. When I first came here around Katara I was filled with more anger than I could imagine... it took her encasing me in ice in order to calm me enough that I could even control the rage enough to speak clearly... I don't know what would happen if I let it out again..." Vincent shuddered a little at the thought.

Kadaj would likely not miss the wince that crossed Vincent's face as the youth suggested that he ask Katara out, and his crimson eyes stared at the ground once again. He'd been hoping that Kadaj wouldn't ask the question, but there it was, staring him right in the face. Vincent had no idea how to tactfully put what had happened between Katara and himself.

"She... knows... how I feel." he said, and looked away, leaving it at that.

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mothersbestson
2008-09-03 10:17 pm UTC (link)

Now there was a statement that didn't confuse Kadaj nor the ever changing thoughts in his mind as this amazing day progressed. He knew exactly what to say in response: "And I don't hate you, Vincent." He nodded while listening some more. "I'm glad she wanted what's best...."

How interesting about the rooms. He had figured out he could customise his room to his particular tastes. His was all silvery blue, complete with stars and moon in a ceiling that seemed to be the sky. Part of it looked like the interior of a shell-shaped house of the Cetra and the rest was like the Forest of the Ancients. His bed was in the forest portion with the glowing trees for a headboard.

"Then the rooms are something like the Lifestream, I guess. I replayed events from my life there. I learned certain things and put a lot of it together for myself." He paused, slowing his speech down from its military verbal march into a wistful tone. "If you wouldn't mind showing her to me sometime, I would appreciate it."

He remembered the conversation he'd had with Katara and how she had demonstrated with a drink her water-bending. But to use ice and enough of it to imprison some monstrous thing Hojo had created was extremely impressive.

Vincent winced? Did that mean he was as confused as Kadaj? The thought interested and further perplexed the youth.

"Ok, your business and not mine," he said with a nod, throttling his curiosity. He cast around in his thoughts for another subject when the golem reached them. Kadaj swiftly grabbed a bottle of cold water. He drank a great noisy gulp before pouring the rest of it over his head.

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chaos_vincent
2008-09-03 11:50 pm UTC (link)

Vincent felt silly as Kadaj gave him a look that betrayed less than understanding. He didn't really know how much more plainly he could spell it out for the white haired youth, so he simply stared at the ground for a long moment as Kadaj reached for a bottle of water, watching with interest as he took it and took a drink then spilled it over his head. It surprised Vincent how loose Kadaj seemed to be. Vincent on the other hand had always been somewhat uptight, never one to cut loose and take a drink before dousing himself. As he took a bottle of water from the golem he lightly twisted off the top with his guantleted hand and took a sip of it, then paused, wondering for a moment what it would be like to douse himself for the fun of it like Kadaj had just done...

... but in the end Vincent was, Vincent. He just simply recapped the bottle and lightly clasped it in his left hand, leaning up against a tree and crossing his legs, then arms as he looked at Kadaj, thinking. In a way he supposed that the carefree way that he handled himself reminded Vincent a little of Lucrecia. She'd not been carefree inside the lab, but Vincent could clearly recall being woken up by her on one occassion for a random picnick. When or how she'd planned it, he had no idea, but as soon as he'd fallen asleep she'd woken him up with that bright smile on her face, and carefree laughter.

"I'd be happy to show her to you sometime..." he said softly, then glanced up to the skies, as if Lucrecia might be watching. He hoped wherever she was, she could see that not all had come badly out of her experiment. Then again, perhaps she never realized what she'd done... and in reality that was the best outcome, that she'd died, and never gotten to realize what had happened to Sephiroth. Then again... Kadaj hadn't found her in the lifestream. Vincent paused and almost asked the white haired boy if everyone could be heard in the life stream, or if it was just Aerith, but then he realized he didn't really want to know. If Lucrecia wasn't at peace... there was little he could do to ease that...

Vincent paused as he realized he was being uncharacteristically silent, or perhaps had in fact run out of things to discuss, for the moment. He'd never been a very good conversationalist, even with Lucrecia. Katara seemed determined to pull it out of him kicking and screaming, but if she was going to turn Vincent into a normal down to earth guy it certainly hadn't happened as of yet. Vincent paused then, and looked at the boy, pushing off the tree lightly. "I think I'm going to go... do some thinking..." he said, which he realized sounded potentially horribly rude, but it was honest, at the very least.

"It was nice meeting you, Kadaj... hopefully I'll see you again soon, and when I do, you'll have told Ayla how you feel..." There was that hint of a smile at that as Vincent nodded to the boy and turned back to the direction where he'd been training before...

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mothersbestson
2008-09-04 12:00 am UTC (link)

Kadaj gave the other man a bit of a smile and he bowed his head.

"It was nice meeting you too," he admitted while concealing his inner thoughts. There could be no more questions to make Vincent possibly stay; both of them needed to think and he was also supposed to meet Trinity soon.

As he walked away, he wondered what he had said to prompt that final comment about Ayla. She didn't like him after all.

Kadaj shrugged and proceeded to pour another bottle of water on himself, shaking his silver hair so that droplets fell down from him like tiny round rainbows.

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